In this video,
We're going to answer the question of why we worry.
When I'm exploring this with my clients,
I always start by.
.
.
Exploring the difference between anxiety and worry,
Which are two things people often get mixed up.
So people will often say,
I feel worried.
And although I totally understand that,
I think what people mean is,
I feel anxious.
So anxiety is the feeling.
And worry is the cognitive process.
That we engage in when we're feeling anxious.
And we call worrying.
.
.
We often think about the what-if thoughts.
So for example,
What if.
.
.
I failed that exam today.
Or what if I get fired from my job?
Or what if I lose my house and I end up on the street?
Often we can go to these quite catastrophic places with worry.
So that's the first thing,
Understanding that anxiety and worry are not the same thing,
Although they are inextricably linked to each other.
The second thing is to understand that worry per se is not a bad thing.
In fact,
Worry can be really useful.
And the reason that humans can worry.
When cats,
As far as we know,
Can't worry and dogs can't worry and chickens can't worry.
The reason that we can worry is we have these incredibly powerful supercomputers in our skulls called brains.
And those brains can engage in this miraculous process.
Of projecting into the future.
And through a sort of virtual reality simulator in our minds.
Living through experiences that haven't happened yet.
And this is one of the reasons that humans have survived for so long,
Because we have the capacity.
To imagine bad things that might come down the line.
And figure out how to solve those problems,
How to avoid the bad things.
So worry per se is actually very useful.
It's not a bad thing.
What's tricky for us is when worry becomes excessive,
Becomes.
.
.
Catastrophic.
And disproportionate to the situation that we're in.
So worry itself is not good.
Bad thing,
It's useful,
It's just we want to kind of worry in a proportionate way to the problems that we're facing.
And the final thing is to really think about worry and explore it through a parts-based lens.
So in therapies like internal family systems or IFS,
We would see the worrier as a part of us,
A protected part.
And so if we think about that link between worry and anxiety,
We'd say the anxiety is being felt by an anxious part of you.
Probably young.
Frightened vulnerable parts of you.
And then the warrior is a protector.
Who's engaging in all this catastrophic what-if thinking.
To try and protect the young part of you from being hurt again.
So for example.
.
.
If you had to give a big presentation,
And you have public speaking anxiety.
We'd say that the part that's getting triggered is the little part,
The young part,
Is feeling really anxious and stressed about this presentation.
And then the worrier engages in all of this kind of problem solving.
What if my mind goes blank?
What if I'm boring?
What if people don't like me?
What if people think I'm an imposter?
All these kind of what-if thoughts.
So we can really clearly see the worrier is a protective part that's trying to look after you,
Is trying to particularly look after the scared,
Vulnerable,
Anxious parts of you.
So I hope that explains a little bit about worry,
What it is,
Why we do it.
How it's actually quite useful.
And the fact that we can really understand it through a parts-based lens.
I'll come back to this in future videos,
But just for now.
I think that's a really good place to start.
I hope that's helpful.
And I also hope you have a lovely day.
