Welcome to this Internal Family Systems meditation,
Soothing Your Lonely Inner Child.
I created this practice because loneliness is such a big problem.
Around 1 in 3 Americans report feeling lonely,
While 1 in 4 don't have any social and emotional support.
And very sadly,
Loneliness can have a major impact on your physical and mental health,
So it's an important issue to address.
Of course,
That's not easy.
There are many reasons people struggle with loneliness,
Some of them out of their control.
Growing older and losing your friends and family is a common one,
Or losing a beloved spouse.
Disability and other health problems can make you very isolated,
As can caring for a loved one.
Another big factor is the way most of us,
Especially in industrialized countries,
Live.
Many of us now live in big cities,
Disconnected from our wider family network,
While increasing numbers of people are single and live alone,
So feel isolated and disconnected much of the time.
Of course,
Being alone does not mean being lonely.
Many people,
Myself included,
Enjoy time alone,
Especially if they're introverts and need time away from others to process and recharge their batteries.
Loneliness comes when being alone is not a choice.
We crave connection with others but struggle to find it.
And if you do struggle with loneliness,
You know just how painful it can be.
When I have been lonely at various points in my life,
It felt like a pain in my heart.
And that pain was both hard to ignore and to soothe,
So I carried it around with me all day like a shameful secret that no one could ever see.
But it doesn't have to be this way,
Which is why I'm offering you this practice.
So,
Let's begin.
Start by finding a comfortable sitting posture and closing your eyes if that's okay for you,
Or soften and lower your gaze.
Gently roll your shoulders back so you feel your chest open and expand.
Then take some deep,
Slow breaths,
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
Count to four seconds on the in-breath and four on the out-breath.
Keep breathing.
And as you breathe,
Slow,
Deep and steady,
Let your belly rise and fall with each breath,
Inflating on the in-breath and deflating on each exhale.
Keep breathing for a minute.
Then gently place a hand over your heart,
Using the same warm,
Supportive touch you would with a friend or family member who is struggling.
And as you feel some warmth under your hand,
Imagine that's a warm,
Compassionate energy that's trickling down into your heart.
Visualize this energy as a warm,
Golden light,
Filling up your heart,
Little by little,
Until your whole heart is glowing with this kindly,
Healing energy.
Stay with that for a few moments.
Now imagine that living somewhere inside you is a little boy or girl,
Your inner child.
Like all kids,
He or she needs kindness,
Connection,
Someone to talk to,
To lean on when things are tough,
To get a lovely hug from after a rough day.
And when you're feeling that stab of loneliness in your heart,
You are feeling the overwhelmingly lonely feelings of this young part of you.
Let's start connecting with them by sending them that warm,
Golden light.
Imagine it beaming from your heart all the way to this little boy or girl inside.
Visualize it beaming all the way from your heart to theirs,
Seeing their little heart light up with this soft,
Healing energy.
Now see that golden light shining in their chest,
Torso,
Arms,
Legs and head,
Until every cell in their body is glowing with this loving,
Healing energy.
Just enjoy that for a little while.
And then let's deepen that connection,
Speaking to them with your thoughts.
Remember that what this inner child most craves is connection,
But they don't understand that there is someone there,
24-7,
Who can connect with,
Speak to and comfort them,
And that's wise adult you.
Start by letting them know that you're there,
And that you really want to help them,
That you understand how lonely they've been,
And how painful that is.
No child should have to feel this way.
Explain that it's understandable that they've been looking outside themselves for connection,
We all need loving,
Friendly people in our lives.
But they can also turn towards you when they feel lonely,
And that you are always there,
Every second of every day,
If they want comfort and company.
Then take some time to speak to your inner child,
Using your own words.
Feel free to pause the meditation if you need more time for this stage of the practice.
You could ask them if there's anything else they want you to know,
Or need from you right now.
They might want a hug,
Or just to play,
Perhaps a board game or climbing a tree.
They may want you to read them a book.
Just see what your inner child needs and trust their wisdom.
They know exactly what the right thing is in this moment.
When you're done,
Ask how you can both stay connected in the coming days.
They might be checking in every day,
Repeating this practice,
Or finding another way to help them feel your presence.
Reassure them that you'll follow through.
Give them one last hug or do whatever you need to make this feel complete.
Then say goodbye for now and,
In your own time,
Open your eyes and come on back.
How are you doing?
I hope you enjoyed that and are feeling a bit calmer,
A little warmer and comforted inside.
Please make sure to follow through with your inner child,
Doing whatever you promised.
This is important to help this part trust you,
That you'll be there for them and they don't have to feel quite so lonely.
Over time,
If you forge a deeper connection with this young,
Sensitive part of you,
Those lonely feelings will start to fade and,
I very much hope,
You'll feel calmer and more at peace day to day.
Thank you for practicing with me,
My friend,
And I hope you have a lovely day.
