Before we begin.
.
.
Please make sure you are somewhere safe where you can fully relax.
Not driving.
Not operating machinery.
Just free to let your whole system rest.
Your face has been working hard all day.
It's been holding a particular shape.
Agreeable.
Available.
Ready to say yes before you'd even worked out what you thought.
That's where the weight of other people's opinions actually sits.
In the face.
In the throat.
And in the hands.
Nobody's looking now.
Your face can finally stop working for a while.
I'm Chibs O'Carrick.
And welcome to this sleep meditation to release the weight of other people's opinions and let go of people pleasing.
Tonight,
We'll take that weight off the places it's been sitting.
And leave it off until morning.
By the end of this meditation.
If you haven't already drifted off.
You'll be more than ready to fall into a deep.
Restorative sleep.
The way this works is simple.
I'll speak calmly.
And directly to the part of your mind that's been reading the room since you were small.
The part that learned to check on everyone else first.
And underneath the words.
A heaviness will begin arriving.
Until holding anything in place stops feeling possible.
That heaviness is what putting something down actually feels like.
The body gets heavier as it stops carrying.
There's nothing for you to do while that happens.
And there's no getting this right,
Which means there's no getting it wrong.
You don't need to concentrate.
Or follow every word.
Or be a good listener for me.
If you drift off in the first few minutes.
That's absolutely fine.
Your subconscious will take what it needs.
It doesn't need you awake to do that.
So settling into whatever position you actually want.
Not the one you'd choose if someone was watching.
Pillow where you want it.
Blankets how you like them.
Phone face down if you choose to.
Alarm set if you need one.
And men,
Nothing else to arrange.
And allowing the bed to take you now.
The mattress underneath your back.
Underneath your hips.
Holding your weight without needing to be asked.
And without needing anything back.
The Plank hits over you.
Yeah.
And heavier than you notice.
Something is holding you already.
And it doesn't want or need anything from you.
You're safe here.
You're allowed to rest.
Just for now.
Just for these few hours.
Nothing more is being asked of you.
And you may notice your breathing has already changed since you got into bed.
A little slower.
A little quieter.
Nobody asked you to do that.
And you didn't decide it.
Your body started it on its own.
The moment it worked out,
The day was over.
So there's no breathing exercise tonight.
Nothing to count tonight.
And nothing to perform tonight.
Just allowing the breath to keep slowing at its own pace.
The way it always does.
When nothing is required.
You can allow the mattress to take a little more of your weight now.
So the muscles don't have to work so hard.
And you may notice.
There's a way of handing over just 5% more of your weight now.
And then.
.
.
Another 5%.
Whenever you like.
Not all at once.
Just a gradual giving in.
A gradual.
Letting go.
You've never been able to put it all down at once.
So we won't ask you to.
5% is enough to start.
And then 5% more.
No one needs anything from you tonight.
And with each 5%.
The heaviness has more room to arrive.
The heaviness usually starts in the arms.
Almost a thickness moving through them.
As though they'd been filled with something warm and slow.
And that feeling spreads from there.
All on its own.
Without any help from you.
Bringing your attention now to your face Your face has been holding an expression all day.
Pleasant.
Interested.
Fine.
I've got this.
And you don't have to move anything or arrange anything.
Just allowing the muscles around your mouth to give up now.
The small muscles at the corners.
Becoming slight.
Nobody's watching you now.
Nobody's reading you now.
No one needs anything from you tonight.
And up around your eyes now.
Where you've been watching for how things land.
Checking faces.
Catching the small change in someone's tone.
We're allowing that watchfulness to go quiet now.
The eyes growing heavy in their sockets.
Too heavy to open.
And nothing left to look for.
Down into your throat now.
This is where the words you didn't say are sitting.
The no that came out as a yes.
The thing you were going to raise and then didn't.
And allowing the throat to soften around all of it.
It doesn't need saying tonight.
It won't be said tonight.
So it can stop being hell.
No one needs anything from you tonight.
And moving through your chest now.
The chest that tightens a little when a message arrives and you can't quite tell what tone it's in.
Allowing the chest to widen.
And settle.
Nothing arriving tonight.
Nobody waiting on you tonight.
And into your hands now.
Wherever they are.
Allowing the fingers to uncurl.
The palms opening.
The thumbs going soft.
Hands that have tight and softened and re-read and sent all day.
Finally still.
And your whole body noticeably heavier than when we started.
Heavier.
Because nothing's being held up anymore.
The weight was never in your body.
It was in the holding.
And the holding is what's going.
Leaving in the only way it ever really leaves.
Quietly.
And while you're not watching it.
And here's the thing about the reading and the checking.
You learned it early.
And you'd learned it well.
Somewhere along the way.
Being liked was how you stayed safe.
So you got very good at working out what people needed before they said it.
And it worked.
It's still working.
That's why the people pleasing is so hard to put down.
But nobody is being managed tonight.
Nothing you did today is being decided while you sleep.
Their opinion of you isn't up for a vote at this hour.
And you were never going to settle it lying here in the dark.
So the weight of other people's opinions can come off at the bedroom door.
And stay there until morning.
No one needs anything from you tonight.
And in a moment.
I'll count slowly down from ten to zero.
There's nothing to follow.
And nothing to get right.
With each number.
Your face can go a little slacker.
Your throat a little softer.
Your hands a little further from anything that needs doing.
And with each number.
A little more of what you've been carrying for other people comes off you.
Nothing you have to do.
Just something that happens on the way down.
And at zero.
There's nobody left to be.
No one needs anything from you tonight.
10.
Beginning to let go.
And a little of the people pleasing goes with it.
Nine.
Heavier already.
And less of you on duty.
8.
Softer.
And nothing left to earn.
Seven.
And the replaying growing quieter.
One less conversation to fix.
Six.
Slower now.
The pleasing,
Letting go of you.
5.
Halfway down.
And warm.
Half of it already off.
For.
Drifting.
Nobody to keep happy down here.
Three.
Nothing left to work out.
Nothing left to smooth over.
Too.
So heavy now.
Too heavy to hold anyone's opinion.
One.
Nobody watching.
Nobody to read.
Nobody to please.
Zero.
All the way down.
Loose.
Warm.
And nobody to be for the rest of the night.
And now your mind gets on with the night.
This is where the sorting happens.
Far below anything you could supervise.
Or improve.
The day's conversations getting filed away.
The tone you couldn't read,
Losing its charge.
The moment you keep going back to,
Going flat and ordinary.
And every night that goes this deep.
A little of the weight of other people's opinions gets set down for good.
Slowly,
Night after night,
Which is how something this old actually loosens.
And a new pattern settling in while you sleep.
Your face learning to soften a little earlier each evening.
Your throat learning that a no can sit there quietly and cost you nothing.
And the steady,
Unremarkable sense that you're alright.
Even when somebody isn't happy with you.
No one needs anything from you tonight.
And from here,
If you ever want to wake up for any reason at all.
You will.
Easily.
Naturally.
Just as you always do.
But if there's nothing that needs you.
No reason to wait.
You can allow yourself to sink even more fully.
Into this deep.
Restorative sleep.
And you don't need my voice anymore.
You can allow it to drift off to the side of things.
Words losing their shape turning into sound.
And then into nothing that needs following.
Nobody on the other side of it waiting for a response.
Nothing to answer.
Nothing to reply to.
Further away with each one.
You won't notice when it stops.
Nothing to stay awake for.
Nobody to be.
All night.
And now.
These simple affirmations can drift softly in the background.
You don't have to repeat them.
You don't have to remember them.
They can simply be there.
Quietly.
Steadily.
While you fall deeper.
Into sleep.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I am allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I am allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I am allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft,
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft.
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft.
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone and still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft.
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
It's safe to stop reading the room.
Nobody needs anything from me tonight.
My face can rest.
I don't have to be liked to be alright.
Their opinion of me isn't mine to carry.
I can disappoint someone.
And still be safe.
I'm allowed to take up the space I take up.
The weight of other people's opinions is leaving on its own.
I don't have to be understood tonight.
What I said today is finished.
I'm enough without anyone confirming it.
Being agreeable was never the same as being safe.
My throat is soft.
My hands are still.
Sleep is doing the letting go for me.
I wake up a little less concerned with what everyone thought.
Tomorrow,
I get to be myself first.
Nothing needs answering until morning.
My nights are quietly giving me back to myself.
Other people can think what they think.
I can let someone be wrong about me.
Rest isn't something I have to earn.
