Breaking Up With The Judge, Remembering Awareness

For teens (as well as adults!) Has the voice of your “inner critic” ever steered you away from possibility? Recognize and turn down the volume of this inner judge, diminishing its influence. Explore navigating life with greater freedom.

Transcript

Hello, Dear one. When I was a teen, The voice of the inner critic was so. . . Pronounced. The voice of the judge so pervasive that I actually didn't even see it. It was the water I was swimming in. It wasn't like I walked around even noticing the voice in my own head that said things like, You're not smart enough. Well, At the time I wanted to be a veterinarian. When it was time to consider, Now I need to think about vet school, I just knew I wasn't smart enough. I shouldn't even try. Of course that wasn't based in reality. It was all based off having been so conditioned by external voices that were internalized. So internalized that I didn't even think to question them. This meditation is about getting a clear picture of the judge so that we can drop it and let it go. It's possible to break up with the judge. It might be like a bad breakup where you get back together again and then you break up again, But that's okay. What matters is knowing that it's possible to move through the world in a free way that's not determined by what the judge tells you. And if you can taste one moment of freedom, Those moments can be repeated. So come into a comfortable position in a safe place, A space where you know you won't be disturbed. It's important because it can be difficult for us to access vulnerability if we think that physically we're not safe. So in this safe place, Give yourself permission to visualize a time maybe that you were trying to do something that you really wanted to do or maybe just daydreaming about a vision you have, Like a vision of possibility. Notice if any voice of the judge arises. So there you are reflecting on what might be possible for your life or giving yourself permission to dream the vision. What does the judge have to say? For you, It might feel most accessible to visualize, Well, I know what my dad would have to say, Or my grandma or my sibling. Sometimes our internal judge is simply taking things we've heard and then sharpening the knife. The point here is to see the voice of the judge clearly, To recognize it. Sometimes I use the analogy of a house being broken in two. If you leave your home every day at about the same time and every day when you get home, Someone's broken in, Turned furniture upside down, Stolen things, Pretty quickly it might occur to you to set up some cameras or stay at home in hiding so you can see what exactly is going on. You could see, Oh, There's that same person coming down the street. And here, Ah, That's the window they get through. Mm, Here's the escape route. Here's what they take with them. It just lets you be clear about the whole process, Maybe leading to something like, I'm not going to leave that window open anymore, Versus consistently coming home and having everything turned upside down and having no idea how that happened. So getting really clear about the voice of the judge allows you to say, Ah, I know this voice. You're trying to get me to go down that dark alley. I'm staying right here. I'm breaking up with you, And you're going to need to walk off on your own. So when you are identified, Meaning believing the voice of the conditioned mind, When you're believing the voice of the judge, What's the judge saying? What are some of the things the judge says that feel really real and true? Maybe so real and so true that you've just taken them as truth without questioning. This is the voice that says things like, There's something wrong with you. You're not enough. No one likes you. If you're constantly being bombarded by a voice that suggests that you're not enough, That there's something wrong with you, You become so busy defending against this voice or agreeing with this voice or fighting this voice, That often there's little energy left to inquire into the nature of this voice. There's little space to ask, Who is this voice even speaking to? Notice now, What part of you is the judge talking to? Is it a little kid part of you? How old? What does this young part of you feel? As the judge is ranting. Have you ever noticed that the judge rants in and then turns its focus sometimes and judges out? It's the same judge. You aren't good enough. They aren't good enough. You are flawed. They are flawed. If you had an external person in your life speaking to you in the way the judge does, Would you want to hang out with them? Would you invite them to do stuff? Would you call them a best friend? If you were dating someone that spoke to you the way the inner critic does, Would you break up with them? If you wouldn't, That's okay. Sometimes we actually end up in relationships that reflect what we've been conditioned to believe as true on the inside. Maybe I believe I don't deserve a relationship where someone will be kind to me or loving. In meditation, We're remembering that we deserve love. You deserve kindness. Many of us are taught to believe that if we don't have the voice of the judge, We won't be motivated. The judge is what helps me get off the couch and do stuff. It's actually been scientifically proven that that's not true. Without the judge, We don't lose motivation. We actually simply become more free to explore with passion and heart, Unrestrained by the voice of, But what if you fail? So once you get clear about this voice, You might even later journal about what this voice says to you. You can choose not to stay in relationship with it. It can sometimes feel easier said than done. But notice for a moment how it is that you are able to see all of this activity of the judge. You are aware of it, Are you not? You are not the judge and you are not the one being judged. You are aware. Rather than exploring all the things the judge tells you to do, Now explore being aware. You are aware of the sound of my voice. Are you not? What else are you aware of? Perhaps you're aware of the sensation in your body. Perhaps you're aware of the breath. Rest in this awareness, Noticing the things you're aware of. You can be aware of the voice of the judge. You can be aware of emotions. You are aware of sounds around you. And now let go of the ends of those sentences. The voice of the judge, Emotion, Sounds around you. Just hang out in the you are aware, Instead of the you are aware of, Fill in the blank. Give yourself permission to be aware of simply being aware. You can rest here. The voice of the judge might pop in. Hello, Judge, You might say. Simply noticing that voice from the seat of awareness. Don't leave the seat. Remember, You don't have to go down the dark alley the judge points you towards. You can stay in your seat. This is your seat to stay in. An emotion might arise. You can welcome it from the seat of awareness. How? Because awareness naturally welcomes everything, All things. All of you and all of life is welcome. So again, Stay in this seat of awareness. Don't run off where you don't want to go just because someone tells you to. This is your seat where you get to enjoy the simplicity of being aware of being aware. You get to enjoy happiness without reason, Without cause, The joy of being aware.

Reviews

Lovely slow pacing, and so helpful.

Peaceful and empowering.
Thank you!