Hi there,
My name is Katia Vasconcelos.
I'm a life coach and a non-violent communication facilitator and I'm here to help you simplify your life by simplifying your mind.
So let's talk today about the difference between thoughts and reality.
And what I'm calling reality here is what is happening,
The situation,
The circumstance,
Which most of the time we mix everything up and say,
Oh,
This is what's happening.
Like people come to me or sometimes I ask them,
So what is the problem?
What's bothering you?
And I hear things like,
Well,
My husband doesn't care about me,
Or my neighbor is being disrespectful,
Or something about themselves,
Like things never work out for me.
See,
Those apart from being very general,
They are not really what's happening.
Doesn't give me much information.
Those are interpretations from our lovely brains about what is happening or what we are observing in our lives.
So that's why I would say that this is like the first and most important step to start creating awareness.
Awareness about where your inner power is,
Because once you see where the problem is,
And you know that your thoughts are creating the problem,
You can then,
You know what to do,
Or you choose or not to do something.
And so,
So the awareness about what you can change,
Because what we do a lot of time,
We try and change people's behaviors or people's thoughts even,
Which is impossible about us,
Feelings.
So we are going to feel good and the problem will be over.
That's a total illusion.
So let's create awareness,
Bring awareness to where we can act,
We can change things,
We can create what we want to create for our lives.
So,
And by the way,
That's very normal.
That's what we do as human beings.
So there's no,
The intention here,
The purpose,
Not that you see what you're creating with your thoughts or where the problem is,
And then you judge yourself or you criticize yourself.
No,
The intention is,
Oh,
You know,
If you can visualize or imagine this kind of dark room,
And you don't know where things are,
And you're getting maybe a little bit scared,
And you can't find anything,
But you see there is a window there,
And you open this window,
The shutters,
And the light,
And the sun shining outside,
And all this beautiful energy comes into the room,
And it's all like,
Oh,
Now I see,
Now I see,
I can feel the warmth of the sun,
I can see things,
It's all bright,
And this is what's happening when you start seeing what you were thinking,
Rather than what you think the problem is outside yourself.
That's the image of the window,
It's like the awareness,
The clear mind,
And let's go,
I'm going to give you an example now.
So I'm going to give you a personal example,
Which happened quite recently,
At the weekend,
And today's Monday,
By the way.
So my thoughts in my head were going about my sister,
Yeah,
So we kind of together look after my mom,
Who is 89,
And I was going on like,
Okay,
So my sister is so disorganized,
She hasn't replied to my message,
I can't really count on her always,
Or rarely,
What else was I thinking,
She doesn't care about my mom,
I mean,
I did a whole thought download,
Which,
By the way,
Is going to be another track,
Another podcast,
But a thought download,
Just write everything down that is going on,
All the judgments you're having about yourself,
Or other people,
Or the situation.
So I was exploring that,
Of course,
You know,
In my mind,
And on a piece of paper,
And I was feeling quite upset,
To start with,
But then as I was writing those down,
And going,
Okay,
What is going on here in my mind,
It helped me to see what I was creating,
Even though it felt really real,
But the piece that you need to know,
Mostly,
As well,
Is,
Okay,
So let's go to the facts,
What's actually happening,
So I stopped myself,
Okay,
These are all the thoughts I'm having about my sister,
But what actually happened for me to think these things,
And if you can be the most specific,
The best,
So for example,
In my situation,
It was,
Okay,
I sent a WhatsApp message to my sister on Sunday,
12 o'clock p.
M.
,
Saying,
Can you please reply to this message by the end of the day,
And it's Monday 2 p.
M.
,
And she hasn't replied,
That's actually what happened,
It's not that she's careless,
That she's disorganized,
That she doesn't love my mom,
Or me,
Or whatever,
That could be true,
Too,
I don't know,
And in this practice,
That's not what matters,
What we're trying to do here is clear our brains,
So we can see where we are creating the problem in our minds,
That is making us feel the way we are,
Whatever it is,
Upset,
Or angry,
Or irritated,
So the fact is always,
And again,
I'm going to say this,
Is always neutral,
There is no bad or good thing about it,
There's no judgment attached to it,
And everyone,
Everyone in the whole of the universe has to agree with you,
It's like going to court,
And you're going to prove something,
So it's very factual,
So my sister,
Sorry,
I sent a WhatsApp to my sister,
Message on WhatsApp on Sunday,
12 p.
M.
,
Asking her,
So you notice I put the words there that I text,
Please can you get back to me by the end of the day,
And she hasn't replied by Monday 2 p.
M.
,
So very specific,
And what happens there is it kind of starts calming the brain a little bit,
When you're able to see the factual specifics about the situation,
It's like oh,
Well that's what's happening,
Oh right,
I thought it was all those other things,
Which by the way,
I suggest you doing a piece of paper,
And you do two,
Make two columns,
My thoughts,
And the fact on the other column,
And you are very welcome,
And I really encourage you to write as many thoughts,
And judgments,
And interpretations,
They're all the same thing by the way,
And opinions you have about the person,
Or yourself,
Or the situation,
Because by doing that you can actually clear,
You're clearing your brain,
You're putting it right in front of you as well,
Which creates awareness,
Like oh,
That's what I was thinking,
I didn't even know,
You know,
Some things that you write down,
It's like oh my god,
Really,
I didn't even know that was there,
Like my sister doesn't love my mom,
You know,
When it came to that one,
Thinking oh,
Interesting,
So be curious,
Be open,
And be an observant of your thoughts,
This is not again for judging your thoughts,
For judging you,
But for having those thoughts and opinions,
It's just an awareness exercise,
Because once they're there,
And on the other column you see oh,
This is the fact,
That's what actually is happening,
You know where the problem is coming from,
It's not because my sister hasn't replied to my whatsapp message,
It's because I'm having these judgments here on the other side,
And that's where the drama is,
That's where I'm creating drama,
I'm feeding drama,
I am dancing,
Having fun with drama in some sense,
But it doesn't feel good,
It's not actually taking me to where I want to go,
It's not really taking me to the result I want to create,
And only by actually looking at them,
Those thoughts,
Just by seeing the drama I'm creating,
Without judging me or drama,
Is that I can,
Oh okay,
So now I see I have a choice,
I know I'm creating this,
I'm responsible for my thoughts,
Even for those who were there and I wasn't aware of,
But now I am aware of them,
And I have a choice,
How do I want to continue,
With this drama or without the drama,
And this is a very gentle step,
So I'm just presenting it,
First of all,
The,
Not possibility,
But the invitation for you to make the difference between what's happening,
The fact,
And your thoughts,
What you're creating in your brain,
And then gently,
And in your own time,
You might want to decide to move on by maybe choosing different thoughts,
Or staying in the neutral,
This is an amazing and powerful actually way to neutralize drama and neutralize emotions,
It's just staying with the facts,
You don't need to go back so much to the negative,
But you don't,
If you're not ready,
Need to start going to,
Oh okay,
My sister's actually very nice,
And oh well,
She's kind of very loving,
I mean maybe,
If I'm ready,
When I'm ready,
But don't push yourself,
The purpose of this exercise to start with,
Is so you can see in front of you,
You're opening the window of that dark room,
And you're seeing the light,
And the light is shining on like,
Oh this is what I'm creating,
That's where my upset,
Or my anger is coming from,
I see it now,
Okay,
Great,
So I hope this is helpful,
And again,
Be gentle with yourself,
And to yourself,
And to your thoughts,
They're a gift,
You know,
This is a gift,
When you can see what's going on,
And what's creating the drama,
And by the way,
When I say drama,
There's always,
Of course,
There's good drama,
As well as bad drama,
But for the purpose of this exercise,
Or this audio,
And this practice,
That I highly recommend,
It's how to clear the negative drama,
Because there is no way that any negative thought,
Even though they are very entertaining,
Many times,
And we go on,
And on,
Going like having fun with them,
Sometimes without noticing,
Indulging in them,
They are not helpful,
They don't serve us in the long run,
And they don't really make us thrive,
So this is a beautiful way to see what they are,
And when you're ready,
Let them go,
And of course,
See where the problem really is,
And where your power really is,
Thank you for listening,
Be well,
And bye for now.
