Joy & Pain Are Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional

This meditation explores the inevitability of both joy and pain as well as the illusion that these things must be earned or avoided. Suffering is explored as it related to attachment and aversion and the illusion that pain can be avoided, and joy can be earned.

Transcript

Hello, My name is Catherine Cook-Kattone, And this meditation is titled, Joy and Pain Are Inevitable, Suffering is Optional. Before I start, Be sure you are seated in a comfortable position and feel well grounded. Maybe press your feet into the floor, The sit bones, Into the seat upon which you are sitting. Once grounded, Engage your core and extend through your spine. And as you do this, Consider softening your shoulders, Softening your jaw. You might also soften your gaze or close your eyes. And then, Take a few breaths. Allow your mind to settle and open up to listening. Open up to the inquiry into the possibility, The I wonder of this meditation for you. A shift from I know or I judge to just I wonder. Bring your awareness to your breath. Notice yourself breathing in and notice yourself breathing out. You might even try deepening and lengthening your breaths a bit, Maintaining your grounded seat, Extending your spine. You might even add a noticing of your breath. Breathing in, I know I am breathing in and breathing out, I know I am breathing out. Breathe here. Consider that this moment, This present moment is here for you. It's here for you to be completely here, Letting go of the need to effort toward anything, Defend against anything, Create something or get something done. You're just right here, Right now, Simply to be. You are here to be in and of this moment, Nothing to earn, No reward, No punishment, Just here in your body, Exactly as it is, Exactly where you are. Breathe here. Consider that we are conditioned to believe that in order to be happy, To be free from suffering, We must be working toward something, Making something, Impacting someone, Doing the work. Consider that there's an implicit and explicit message that you can earn freedom from suffering, A freedom from pain if you work hard enough, Do all the right things and be just perfect enough. Those people who do that stuff, Those people are protected. Those people feel joy. Those people escape from pain and they do not suffer. Perhaps they're thin, Beautiful and they laugh heartily from their bellies as they sit in abundance and joy. That's the promise, Right? No, Actually that's the illusion of our conditioning. The truth is there's no amount of work, There's no amount of worry, There's no level of perfect, There's no inherent talent, No thinness or roundedness or idealness, No success, No business savvy, No good looks that ensure joy. There's no amount of any of that that helps us avoid pain, None. Joy and pain are inevitable. They're very much both part of being alive. You will end this life even if you do nothing, Even if you don't earn it. Feel joy. It might be a dive into the ocean, A kiss, A child's eyelashes on your cheek, A butterfly landing on a flower just in front of you, The sun on your body at the beach, The laughter of someone you love, The cuddle of a beloved pet. No one gets to avoid joy. It's part of being alive. There are people who have done absolutely nothing to earn it that feel joy. There are people who have done no work at all that feel joy. There are even people who have done things we might call bad things that feel joy. How does this happen? It happens because joy is inevitable. It's not earned. It just is. It's part of life. Take a breath and consider this. Live the question. Allow your mind to consider, Hmm, Joy is an inevitable part of life. Pain is this way too. You, I, We will lose someone or something we love. Your body will get sick or be harmed. Your new car will become old. Your hair will turn gray. Someone you love will get sick or be harmed. Someone you love will die. Pain is inevitable. Really really really good people who have hurt no one feel pain. Young people who have not even lived long enough to screw things up, To hurt anyone, Experience pain. There is no escaping pain. Pain is an inevitable part of being alive. It's suffering that's optional. It's our striving to seek joy, To freeze frame joyful moments, Prolong them into never going away. The illusion that we can work so hard that joy will be our reward. It's that attachment, That reward punishment illusion that causes suffering. Some call this attachment and it's supported by our conditioning. The illusion that the promise of a joyful life is there if we follow a certain rule or set of rules. We buy into the deal. Suffering is optional and that as we try to avoid the inevitable pain that's part of life, We complicate the process. In AA they say there is no problem that a drink won't make worse. They're right. In the effort to avoid pain, We now have pain and whatever it is that we did to try to avoid it. That's the suffering. We have both. Pain is inevitable and it's hard and it hurts and it passes. But to have pain and an effort to bypass it, To avoid it, We now have pain plus whatever we chose to bypass it and that thing doesn't typically bring richness into our lives. Our efforts to accommodate aversion, Avoidance, These things do not feed our souls. They are hungry ghosts eating up our soulful energy, Leaving us craving. This is suffering. Suffering is the denial not only of our own vulnerability but of our courage and our capacity to be in and of it all, To be in and of life. Joy and pain, They are inevitable aspects of life. Ground and breathe and welcome them. Let them run through you and be in and of them. This is the stuff of life, The good stuff, The depth and the real work of the heart. If it feels right, Place your hands over your heart and invite in joy. Invite in pain and breathe. There's no need to suffer. Living into the joys and the pains of life is enough, Is more than enough. It's what life is all about. Breathe here. And that is the end of the joy and pain are inevitable. Suffering is optional meditation. Take a few breaths here and allow this meditation to settle. You might begin to deepen and lengthen your breaths a bit, Being sure to maintain your grounded seat and extended spine. Here again, You can add the noticing of your breath. Breathing in, I know I am breathing in. And breathing out, I know I am breathing out. These things, I do know. You might want to take a few moments just breathing here, Considering what this meditation means to you, Means for you. You may even want to journal about this meditation and what you might have noticed or considered. Thank yourself for taking a few moments to listen, To wonder and center. And I thank you so much for listening.

Reviews

I found this very helpful. Informative and empowering. I will come back to it to sound the information down. Thank you.

Thank you Catherine for an extremely helpful meditation that helps put experiences in a new perspective

Thank you so so much, Catherine! I needed this so badly today. I miss you 🤍 hope all is well

This was perfect for me today. I will return 🙏