Buddhism And 12 Steps: The Causes Of Suffering (Episode 4)

Today's podcast is a workshop that includes an activity to help you visualize a schema for the causes of your suffering. Please get an 8x10 piece of paper and a pen. Feel free to pause the podcast to allow yourself time to concentrate and reflect upon the activities that I've prepared for you. I hope that you find today's activity very insightful!

Transcript

Hi everyone,

It's Chris McDuffie from Spiritual Sobriety.

Today we're going to try something a little different.

Because this is a podcast,

This is going to be a workshop,

And you're going to need some supplies.

So I'll read the instructions and feel free to pause at any point and restart in order to be able to follow along.

The first thing you're going to need is a piece of paper held sideways and a pen.

Today's discussion is Buddhist approach to suffering and how it correlates to the Twelve Steps.

We're going to draw a half circle in the upper middle part of your page,

Allowing about four inches from the bottom of the ends of the half circle so that the half circle sits in the middle of the page.

At the end of each half circle line would you draw an arrow,

And on the left side would you write below the arrow,

Attachments slash grabbing,

And on the bottom of the right arrow would you write the words aversion.

According to Buddhism,

Attachments and aversion are the two key sources to suffering.

Before we get into the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Paths in greater detail,

I'd like to first start with this visual aid that unfortunately because I'm a podcast I cannot show you,

And hopefully we can do this together with paper and pencil.

Now that you have this half shape circle with the words attachment and aversion,

I'd like you to give some examples privately for yourself of attachments and grabbings that create suffering.

So for example,

If I grab onto an electric wire I am going to get shocked,

Or if I grab onto the hot stove with my hand I am going to get injured.

At the same time I'd like you to think about examples of unhealthy aversions,

And this example might be if the house was on fire I would be suffering if I chose to avoid calling 911.

Allow me to pause right here for a moment and give you a chance to write freely and pause to give yourself some time.

We'll meet back in a few minutes.

Okay,

Let me give you a little bit more help now.

We know that in Twelve Steps that people,

Places and things are the key general areas that we suffer.

So in recovery we might be suffering from our attachment to our ex-spouse or lover.

We might be attached to places that we were harmed and felt resentful towards.

And we might be attached to things,

In our case like chemical substances or process addictions.

Along with resentments you can imagine that this whole list are things that humans for thousands of years have been grabbing onto which creates our own suffering.

I'd like to give you a moment now again to kind of refocus your energies on private reflection on examples of people,

Places and things,

Perhaps chemical addictions or process addictions or resentments that you noticed in the past you attached to or grabbed to or currently are grabbing onto.

And it is that grabbing that is currently or in the past has created you the suffering.

At the same time I'd like you to think about people,

Places and things that you have been avoiding that is to your own detriment.

The pushing away of these resources are creating more suffering for you.

Okay,

Let's get back to the arrow.

Before we have the act of grabbing or before the behavior of pushing away,

We want to begin to notice through practices the original wanting or not wanting.

Before the action there is going to be a thought and a feeling of wanting and a thought and a feeling of not wanting.

I'd like you to consider how mindfulness and meditation and contemplative prayer could be used to practice identifying in real time in your day whether you have the impetus,

Whether you have the automatic triggered thought to want something or not want something.

Can you begin to practice seeing that in real time?

So here we have the introduction of mindfulness and meditation and practices in order to develop the awareness of our automatic responses to wanting and not wanting.

The trick in cognitive behavioral therapy,

Acceptance commitment therapy and dialectical behavioral therapies,

And in Buddhism is to see that I'm about to grab something mindlessly and choose not to grab onto that thing and to begin to see that I was about to push something away that I could have been better served by walking towards.

The example I like to use is if I'm drowning and the lifeguard is saying let me help you and I say stop yelling at me,

Leave me alone,

Can't you see I'm drowning,

Why are you bothering me?

We want to begin to see how the attachments and the aversions generate our own suffering in order to not attach and not avoid.

From a chemical dependency situation you can imagine that every time somebody grabs onto that drink or drug or that act of a process addiction,

They are creating more suffering for themselves.

Now imagine the same individual active in their addiction pushing away 12 steps,

Pushing away therapists,

Pushing away sober living or treatment centers,

And you can see that they're now suffering at the middle of both sides in the proverbial between a rock and a hard place.

Now,

Next task,

I'd like you to draw a number line from the bottom of your left arrow,

1,

2,

3,

4,

5,

6,

7,

8,

9,

Stopping about three quarters the way up the line.

At the same time I'd like you to draw 1,

2,

3,

4,

5,

6,

7,

8,

9,

Stopping equally at about three quarters up the number line on the right side.

When I teach this model to clients,

I show them now that if we overlay the 12 steps onto the same arrow spectrum that's Buddhist,

We begin to see that if we can reflect on step 1 through 9,

We see with our sponsors how they and how we ourselves were suffering from those attachments and equally suffering through step 1 through 9 from those aversions.

Again,

The point of step 1 through 9 is to uncover,

Discover,

And identify what needs to be discarded,

In this case the attachments and the aversions.

I've developed this model as a visual aid to show literally how we can overlap 12 steps principles and practices on top of Buddhist 12 principles.

You should still have space in the top of the circle,

And here's where I would like you to write steps 10,

11,

12,

If you could literally write out the words step 10,

Step 11,

Step 12.

And I'd like you to also write above or below that the words 8-fold path.

Now we have a visual aid of the sweet spot of balance,

And in Buddhism Buddha called this sweet spot of balance the quote middle way.

I draw this spectrum for you then to show you as a seesaw what the fulcrum or central middle path would look like as a state of balance.

In that spot we could overlay the 8-fold path and those principles which we'll get to later,

And step 10,

11,

12.

As we work with sponsors and clients in the 12-step model,

We suggest that we want to live in that ideal balance objective of steps 10,

11,

12 in the day,

Every day.

We want to also remind ourselves that we practice quote principles before personalities,

And we also want to practice progress not perfection.

The goal here is not to stay put in the center of the fulcrum.

The goal here is to develop mindfulness and practices of contemplative prayer in order to begin to notice when we are tilting in the wanting or tilting towards the not wanting towards things that might be attachments or aversions,

And begin to develop the cessation of the grabbing and the cessation of the pushing away.

That in a nutshell is Buddha's attempt to suggest how to end,

Literally end our own suffering by stopping the grabbing and stopping the pushing away.

We're going to get into details of the 8-fold path and the Four Noble Truths in the next two upcoming podcasts.

I wanted to begin with this schema to orientate you to two things,

Again,

The Buddhist approach to the cause of suffering,

And the 12-step approach to cause the suffering on a visual aid.

I hope that helped you,

And I look forward to hearing your responses and thoughts on your examples of attachments and aversions.

Thank you.

Have a great day.

Reviews

Very helpful way to integrate the 12 steps into personal experience across attachments, aversions, 4th step inventory, and 4NTs +8FP!

Loved this so much the visual aide was awakening

I feel like im missing somthing i starting on three how can i get the ones i missed

Awesome image for blending the two approaches . Love the see-saw image at the top. Thank you.

Great tool! Thx.

Thank you! That helped so much !

Inspired overlay of multiple principles. I drew the diagram, not sure it’s correct :-) but works.

Nice approach
Hey, just a heads up - Paul O was not a founder or co-founder of AA. Nor was his wife a cofounder of Al-Anon. Early members yes.
Namaste and thanks for providing these talks, exercises and meditations.
Namaste 🙏🏽

Wonderful. Is there a place where I can see this image?

Chris,

Is there any way to put the episodes in order on the app? They’re all mixed up and I have to search around for the next one.

Love the content. Very helpful exercise.

Thanks

I did enjoy this although I also believe in god but for sure I see how attachment is the cause of all suffering. It’s about trying to fill a void inside which is not filled by things..it’s why our world is such a mess.

EXCELLENT❣️ Very Simple and Understandable yet very Instructive and Thought-Provoking!
🙏🏻💕

Clear model and introduction to the sweet spot. Thank you and blessings to you and your journey.

Thank you! I practice both and your guidance in this podcast in bringing them together was like shining a light on where I am now! Amazing 😉

This was somewhat helpful. I understand attachment and aversion now. I struggled with the diagram. Overall helpful though.

Looking forward to hearing from you again