The Torch Of Life

I share about how seven years ago I got a double lung transplant. I almost died and was passed the torch of life. Today I am grateful to be alive. There's nothing more wonderful than to feel the flow of life within me.

Transcript

Hi,

It's Brooks,

And thanks for joining me.

Seven years ago,

I got a double lung transplant.

And I wanted to talk about that today.

The way I look at it is,

Because I was just about dead,

And I got brand new lungs.

And I got my life back.

And I truly did get my life back.

I would have been dead.

My lungs were really sick at the time.

And they were getting worse and worse.

And the hospital,

The University of Chicago,

Where I had that lung transplant,

They were really in doubt that I would survive up to the operation,

Let alone the operation.

And they said that I was the save of the century,

Because they'd never had anybody that sick who was able to survive up to the lung transplant and then survive the lung transplant.

So I feel like I was given the torch of life was passed to me.

And I got my lungs from a young man named Tracy.

He was 18.

And he had graduated from high school a week before that.

And two weeks before this had happened,

Because I met his mom and I talked to him.

She said two weeks before he died,

She told him that he wanted to become a donor,

An organ donor.

And she said,

Really?

Are you sure about that?

And he said,

Yeah,

Yeah,

I really do.

And he wanted to get his driver's license so he could,

You know,

They had that question,

Do you want to be an organ donor?

And so they did that.

And she told me that he also said two weeks before he died that he wasn't going to have kids.

And he used to always talk about how he would have kids and she'd be a great grandma.

But he said,

No,

I'm not going to have kids.

She said,

Yeah,

You are.

He said,

No,

I'm not.

There's a certainty,

You know.

On some level,

On some subconscious level,

He knew that he wasn't going to live.

So he was out and about with some friends.

The night he got killed,

He was in a car,

South side of Chicago.

And some people that were outside the car,

The car drove by and shot through the car window and he was killed instantly.

You know.

And he was taken to the hospital.

And they saw that he was a donor and his family was there.

And they said he's a donor and the family said,

You can't do it.

We're not going to let you.

We're not going to let his organs be donated.

But his mom,

Who had given her word that he could do that,

Said,

No,

We have to honor what he wanted to do.

So his organs were given to different people and I got his lungs.

And basically the torch of life was passed to me from Tracy.

And I'm forever grateful.

It's the greatest gift I've ever received.

And it truly is a gift to be alive.

To receive the gift of life.

To have that torch of life pass to me.

And every day I'm aware of that.

Every day it's clear to me.

I feel like the luckiest person alive,

To be alive.

I see being alive as a tangible thing.

I experience it every day.

I know from experience that there's nothing more valuable than being alive.

So I like to celebrate around this time by talking about it.

Because it makes me happy to talk about it.

It's a wonderful reminder of how lucky I am.

And the interesting thing is,

When I see other people,

I see them as being equally lucky.

That they're alive too.

And that means you.

You're alive.

You're just as lucky as me.

I think what happens is,

We're alive.

We take being alive for granted because it's so simple and it's always there.

We're always alive.

Unless your life is threatened in some kind of way,

It can be hard to appreciate being alive.

There's something about losing something or almost losing something that can make you appreciate it a lot more.

I think you're very lucky.

Something sweet and wonderful about being alive.

Even if things are difficult in the moment,

There's still a feeling of vitality.

The feeling of aliveness.

Maybe when I'm talking about it right now,

You might feel it.

That spark of life,

That flow of life.

It's within you.

Maybe you might notice it.

Like if you were a toaster and you were plugged into the wall and you were turned on,

There'd be electricity flowing through you.

And I think that's the same thing for being a person.

There's the vital force of life flowing through us.

That force of life,

It beats our heart.

Pumping blood through our body.

It operates our lungs,

It breathes our lungs.

Providing oxygen richness to the bloodstream.

Giving us energy and vitality.

We're so lucky to have that.

To have life.

I'm grateful.

I haven't had any rejections for my lungs.

My lungs seem to keep getting stronger.

That sounds like it's just,

Even saying it out loud,

It's just something quite wonderful about that.

It just feels like my body just keeps getting more and more alive.

I described it before in one of my earlier talks,

When I was really sick and I had lost about 40,

50 pounds.

I was stuck in bed taking an oxygen through an oxygen concentrator that pulled in extra oxygen through the air,

Because otherwise I wouldn't have enough oxygen to live.

And even though I'd lost all that weight,

I'd look in the mirror and I'd see my ribs were sticking out.

My cheekbones were sticking out.

And it was really hard to get around.

Even amidst all that,

I had this feeling of being alive,

Which was stunning to me.

That,

Wow,

My body's wasting away,

But I feel the flow of life.

And I remember thinking about this,

Thinking that my body was like a candle.

And I was the flame on the candle.

So even though the candle was burning down,

Diminishing,

Moment to moment,

The flame was bright and big.

And that's what I felt.

I felt that every day,

No matter how hard a time I was having breathing or how uncomfortable I was.

Sometimes I would cough for like 15 minutes straight and think I was going to pass out.

But I still felt that feeling of aliveness,

That vitality.

And I still feel that today,

Even though I gained the weight back and my body's in really good shape.

It's very strong.

I still feel like I'm brimming with life.

And I still feel like the luckiest person in the world.

I'm glad that we could share that.

You'll be listening to this after I've recorded it,

But I can still feel your presence,

Just the listening.

That presence,

That's the life force when I think about it.

That feeling of existence,

That feeling of I'm here.

That's the being alive feeling,

And we all share that.

And we're the luckiest people in the world.

So thanks for taking this moment with me,

And telling me to celebrate this anniversary.

And I wish you the best.

Reviews

I am about to have my first anniversary of my double lung transplant, and felt listening to this connected to you and your words. I know what it feels like to experience a lung transplant, to be so sick you are on the precipice, and then come out the other side more alive than you were before. It's not an easy path, but we are lucky to still be walking it.

So beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story, you definitely turned up the flame in my soul! 🥰♥️🕯️

what a gift of life🌺

Thank you so much Brooks. You are truly an inspiration to us all :)

I'm here. Thanks for reminding me

Thanks Brooks. I'm so happy for your great feeling of aliveness. I appreciate you sharing your story and feelings with me and us all. You're helping the world to be a better place to be:)

Thanks for your story...

Thank YOU so much for sharing your story.
Ever since I have listened to you on insight timer I have felt your beautiful energy and love.