Hi,
This is Claire E.
Parsons,
Lawyer,
Mindfulness and compassion teacher,
Blogger,
And author.
This is a practice about cultivating self-kindness so that we can send it out to others.
It is a shortened and modified version of the traditional practice of loving kindness.
We'll start by calling to mind loved ones,
Then transitioning to opening our hearts to ourselves,
And conclude by sending this kindness out to the world.
Loving kindness has been a favorite practice of mine for many years,
And it has been one I have relied on as a support in hard times.
I hope you enjoy it.
So let's get started.
First,
It's a good idea to make sure that your area is safe and ready for you to practice.
Check your phone and turn off any alerts.
Make sure your area is comfortable and safe.
Close or lock any doors if needed.
And gather any items that you use for practice,
Like a blanket or light a candle if it helps you feel relaxed and supported.
Feel free to pause here,
Or if not,
Find your comfortable seat.
This is the posture that makes you feel comfortable,
Supported,
Safe,
And alert in your practice.
Once you've found the seat that you're going to use for practice,
Start to connect with your breath.
Just notice the breath flowing in and out of your body.
Start to notice sounds all around you.
Begin to connect with the feelings of just sitting in your comfortable seat.
See if you can check in and identify with the feelings of safety in your body.
What tells you right now that you feel safe,
Secure,
And supported?
It could be as simple as the fact that you have supportive items with you.
It could be that you notice quiet.
Could be that you're alone.
Just connect with that feeling of safety.
And know that you can return to it as we practice or throughout your life if you need it as a support.
To further connect with our bodies and relax,
We're going to do a body scan next,
But we're going to start from the bottom and work our way up.
So begin to connect with the sensations in your feet.
Notice if they are resting on the floor or perhaps resting under your legs if you're in a cross-legged position.
Just connect with that sense of weight in your feet,
The sense of connection to the ground,
And then allow that noticing of sensation to move upward into your ankles,
Your calves,
Your shins,
Your knees,
And then the front of your upper legs and the back of your upper legs,
Including your glutes.
Notice yourself sitting here right now and the feelings of weight in your seated area.
Then move into your hips,
Your lower back,
Your lower abdomen.
Here you may start to notice some more motion with your belly rising and falling with the breath.
And continue on to your upper chest and your upper back,
Where again you may feel motion with either your heart beating or your chest rising and falling with the breath.
Relax as much as you can as we continue on,
And just allow any areas of tension that you may detect to soften as you go.
Then connect with your hands,
The backs of your hands,
The palms of your hands,
And your fingers.
If you notice any increase in sensation here,
That's very normal.
Then allow the sensation and the awareness to move into your wrists,
Your lower arms front and back,
Your elbows,
Your upper arms front and back,
Then into your shoulders,
Neck,
Jaw,
Cheeks,
Lips,
Nose,
Forehead,
Eyes,
And all the way to the top of your head.
Now that we've taken a moment to connect with our bodies and start to settle,
Just notice how your mind feels now.
Now I invite you to bring to mind a calming space for you.
This is a space that helps you feel supported,
Calm,
Safe,
And at ease.
It may be a real place that you go to.
It can also be an imaginary space that you've created for yourself that helps you reconnect with yourself and find sanctuary when needed.
In addition,
I invite you to be expansive when I describe this calming space.
You may not see an image of a space.
You may instead connect more with the feelings in your body that emerge when you think of a calming space.
That's okay too.
The point here is to practice building a resource for ourselves and finding a place where we can really connect with who we are.
Once you've allowed yourself a chance to connect with this calming space,
I invite you to bring a loved one to mind and envision if it helps you that they are sitting right beside you.
This is someone who should be very easy to love,
Who doesn't offer a whole lot of memories of conflict or other concerns in your life,
But someone whose very memory or thought makes you smile,
Makes your heart feel a little bit lighter.
With this person in mind,
With your attention in the area of your heart,
Just send them loving kindness with the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
Offer them the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
And as you do,
Just notice the feelings that emerge.
Allowing your loved one to continue to sit beside you,
Now I invite you to also bring a mentor to mind.
This is someone who has offered a gift to you,
Offered some kind of support or life lesson,
And has been someone who has helped you in your life in some way.
If it supports you,
Envision this mentor sitting beside you with your loved one,
And consider that even though they have offered you love and support,
They require it too,
As any human being would.
And offer them the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
Noticing the sensations that arise in the heart area or otherwise in your body,
Wish your mentor the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
Finally,
Allowing your mentor and loved one to sit with you in your calming space,
I invite you to call to mind a good friend,
A good supporter,
Someone who has been with you through the long haul,
And someone who maybe you have also supported back in return.
This might be your biggest cheerleader,
Or the person who has always been by your side.
Bring this person to mind,
And understanding how important their well-being is to your own,
Wish them the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
With the attention in the area of your heart,
Wish this good friend of yours the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
Now that you've taken a moment to sit in your calming space,
To reconnect with the thoughts of your loved ones and friends,
I invite you to envision yourself with your friends,
And imagine that they are turning now to face you.
You are looking in their eyes,
And they are wishing you the same phrases that you just wished them.
They are saying,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
And all they want for you,
Is for you to accept their love and kindness.
And to do that,
I invite you to allow that love and kindness to rain down on you,
And simply accept it by saying,
May I be happy,
May I be healthy,
May I be safe,
And may I be at ease.
Noticing the sensations in your heart as you accept this kindness and love from your loved ones,
Repeat the phrases one more time.
May I be happy,
May I be healthy,
May I be safe,
And may I be at ease.
Now that you've taken time to cultivate a kind and supportive space,
And to cultivate feelings of kindness and love in your heart,
I invite you to just linger in them for a moment and enjoy them.
Notice what is happening in your body,
Notice how your mind feels,
And notice how your heart feels.
Does it feel soft?
Does it feel open?
Does it feel like it has grown a little bit?
Is there any aspect of sensation that feels like there is energy pushing outward?
Whether that is true or not,
Your reaction is perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with it.
But if you do have any sensation that feels like an opening or a pushing outward,
Lean into that sensation.
Once we have taken an opportunity to cultivate and experience kindness for ourselves and our loved ones,
It is natural to send it out to others.
So allow this sensation,
This feeling of kindness,
To flow out into the people closest to you,
To your family,
Your friends,
And your neighbors.
Send them the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
Continuing to connect with the feelings of kindness in your heart as you do,
Then allow the kindness to grow even larger to the people in your region,
In your state.
Send them the phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at ease.
Continuing to connect with this feeling of kindness and noticing its capacity to grow,
Allow your wishes to expand even further,
Out to your country,
Out to the entire world.
Send the wishes of loving kindness out to everyone across the globe.
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you be safe,
And may you be at peace.
Now I invite you here to take a moment to return back to your calming space.
You may envision yourself sitting here by yourself or with your loved ones and supporters.
Just check in with how you feel.
Notice if you feel any more open,
Any lighter,
Any more connected,
And recall that you can come back to this space whenever you choose,
Even if it is for a moment to support yourself in a difficult time.
Begin to bring awareness back to your body from the top of your head all the way down to your fingers and toes.
Take a deep breath in,
Filling your lungs all the way to the top,
Hold it for a moment,
And then release it out.
When you are ready,
You can open your eyes,
Knowing that you have everything you need to face the problems in life and greet them with kindness.
