Suffering Is A Releasing Of Resistance Talk & Q&A)

Suffering is not something to be suppressed or resisted. It is itself a releasing of resistance that leads to a better understanding of life and a return to Presence. The talk is followed by a Q&A session and answers questions such as: why does it take many years to reach a state of constant Presence? | How to deal with thoughts that identify me with a false self? | What to do about perfectionism? | and more.

Transcript

Hi everybody and welcome to this live event on suffering is a releasing of resistance.

We have probably all heard this quote that pain is where light enters you or the wound is where light enters you.

And it's like the wound or the pain,

The suffering is a resistance to the light.

It's a belief or a tense feeling which is underlined by the sense of being separate,

Being separate from others but also from God,

From life.

And it's this belief in separation that triggers our suffering.

So because there is nothing other than God,

Light or awareness,

The resistance itself is made of awareness of light.

But of course when we are in the midst of suffering,

We forget that and there's an overwhelming amount of thoughts and emotions and we're just looking to find a little bit of stillness,

A little bit of presence,

A little bit of space to breathe in more deeply to be able to connect with our body.

And under that there is our self,

Our eternal presence,

Our eternal awareness within which all of this arises.

And by resting as this presence,

By returning to who we are after suffering or even in the midst of suffering if it's possible,

Then the more we do that,

The more we realize that this presence,

This true self that is underlying all experience is always here and it's changing us.

And it's all accepting and it's all embracing.

So then we know that suffering is just a temporary form that manifests in order for us to realize these beliefs,

This sense of separation,

This sense of unease,

To come back to what's true and to keep realizing that any suffering is temporary,

That everything passes sooner or later,

Except this truth,

This self that we are experiencing.

And so we return until there is no longer the need to return because we don't lose ourselves anymore.

And as such the suffering is there for a reason,

It is part of the unfolding and it leads to a better understanding of life,

Of manifestation,

Of the formless awareness of the self that we always are.

And this suffering is also not random in the sense that it is a perfect reflection or it's triggered by a perfect reflection of what we believe in.

And often this sense of separation is brought by a belief that something other than presence can bring us peace and happiness,

So we seek for fulfillment in jobs,

In relationships,

In particular thoughts,

In particular feelings in the body.

Eventually we realize that no forms can actually give us this happiness,

This peace,

This presence.

Because it is who we are,

So by looking at it outside of us,

That already creates a separation between me and an outside,

But when we look to experience we know that no such separation exists.

We are the awareness within which everything arises,

Including the so-called external world,

Including the mind,

Including the body.

So by releasing our suffering,

By being with it,

By accepting our reactions,

Because sometimes it's so strong,

The feeling that we have to react in some way,

By forgiving ourselves,

By forgiving others,

We keep coming back to what's true on a deeper and deeper level.

And this is the spiritual journey.

When we rest as awareness,

When we rest as our true self,

There is no longer the duality between good and bad,

Between positive and negative.

When we fully embrace suffering as part of life,

Then it's almost like we can't label it suffering anymore,

Because we don't resist it,

We know that it's there for a reason,

We see all that it brings,

We see all that it reveals to be true,

And we can embrace it more and more fully.

So one practice that I would like to suggest to you is to ask yourself in a difficult situation,

Rather than resist what is with the mind and the body,

Try asking yourself,

Why do I want this?

And this question realigns the mind with what is,

It's like it accepts what is,

And not only does it accept what is,

But it's like it understands that it's there for a reason.

So then by asking why do I want this,

You are trying to understand the patterns of life,

Or what part of me wants this,

What is it there to teach me,

What is it there to show me.

And then the separate mind that doesn't want this,

That resists it,

Moves away from the picture and then you see the broader unfolding,

The broader reason for things.

You know,

Any resistance is actually a bunch of tools,

It's one tool saying I don't want this,

Then another tool saying I am this that doesn't want this,

And then there is another tool that identifies with more saying well I don't want to be this one that doesn't want this,

I want to be the presence that.

So it's almost a continuous loop of thinking,

But awareness,

Our true self,

Our essential self is allowing all of these tools to be without identifying with any of them because this is just a tool.

In one moment we have all of these tools of resistance,

Of trying to get somewhere,

Of not wanting what is,

Etc.

And in the next moment we are having an ice cream and having fun with friends and none of this is there.

So these tools do not define who we are,

It's just a temporary experience that passes through.

What helps a lot is this faith,

This knowing of what's true that underlies all experience.

That allows us to be with what is,

To feel it,

To allow it without resistance and it comes from a sense of knowing,

Of deeply knowing and understanding that we are not the mind and we are not the body.

So any tools that appear are temporary,

Any feelings that appear are temporary.

What is always in the background is our essential self,

This pure awareness that is simply present like the blue sky behind the clouds.

Now when you say the issue is that I say that intellectually I don't believe in this me,

That I've seen what it is made of,

But my body,

My self so to speak is the believer and it really believes.

Yeah,

I get that and I can also relate.

There's a teacher that puts it really beautifully.

After finding our true self,

After discovering who we really are,

It's like the body has to catch up,

The mind has to catch up.

And this catching up can take a while,

Even many years.

That's what's happening.

You know that you are not these tools and this body and anything that arises,

But it's so strong the identification that that's when the veiling happens,

The veiling of what's true.

And that's the beauty of it in a way.

I'm sure that for you and probably everyone here,

There's been moments of intense suffering and then there's some part of your body and your mind that just opens to a new level,

That understands things more clearly.

So this is the whole process of releasing identification,

Of simply being with what is,

Of understanding the purpose of suffering.

Where do we say maybe that's what's happening to me,

I'm trying to catch up.

Yeah,

And it's a long process.

In a way the purpose of the body,

We have bodies because we believe that we are separate from each other.

So there's a belief in separation in the very manifestation of the body.

So of course it takes a while,

It takes many years.

But eventually we can use the body as this tool of communication where we just share that it's not true,

That it's an illusion,

That it's Maya,

That it appears one way but it's another way.

That the body is not who we are,

That there is a deeper truth that underlies this reality and not only can we all go there but we are all there already.

That's the beauty of life,

That's this dance of suffering,

Of opening,

Of realizing,

Of disidentifying with the body-mind,

Of learning,

Of unlearning.

That there's all these dual patterns that underlie the dance of life but ultimately awareness is ourself,

Is God,

Is beyond duality.

And this is why there's this space of equanimity,

Of simple presence,

Of simply allowing all that unfolds without resistance.

And what this means is not that there is no resistance,

It means that we allow resistance to be.

And anything that we say that comes from a sense of lack,

From a fear,

That hurts someone else,

All of that is also meant to be as it is.

It is part of the unfolding.

And then again it's like instant forgiveness because we say something and we know that it's coming from a sense of lack,

A sense of unease in us.

But we also know that there is no choice,

That this is simply what happened and because of this it must mean that it happened for a reason for us and for the other people.

From an absolute perspective,

From the perspective of everything that unfolds perfectly,

It is meant to be and it is perfect.

Martin,

You say,

Perfectionism trips me up.

Yes,

I think that's quite the big one because we are told to try and be perfect on the level of the mind and the body,

To be intelligent,

To be healthy,

To not have any illnesses,

To,

I don't know,

Just have perfect patterns.

But that's simply impossible because the very appearance of the form means that it's not perfect.

By default,

Therefore,

We cannot be perfect.

Let's say I walk into a room.

What happens in other people's minds is entirely up to them.

I don't have any control nor desire to control anything that happens in those minds.

Either they think I am wise or good looking or they think that I am too skinny or not attractive,

Different than what I expected.

I don't know.

Whatever happens,

It's not up to me and it cannot be perfect.

That's the thing.

Everyone has their own perceptions,

Their own ideas of what is good and bad.

So as long as those ideas stay in the mind,

As long as there is a duality,

There cannot be perfection.

The only thing that is perfect is our self because it is formless,

Because it is ever-present,

Because it doesn't judge,

Because it simply is.

And another thing that was useful to me in my journey at least was to see how differently I can do things.

Even small things like switching the pocket in which you keep your phone or your wallet and moving it to the other side or changing your belt around.

You know,

Things like that that just shift slightly how you are used to things.

Slowly it dissolves this idea of perfectionism,

Of doing things one way and wanting that to be the most perfect way.

Most importantly to help us see that we are not the mind,

That the mind comes up with these concepts,

These ideas,

These philosophies of how things should be,

Of what can be done,

Of what should be done.

Shouldn't,

You know,

All of these shoulds and shouldn'ts.

But in fact,

Whatever happens is perfect.

If there are no more comments or questions,

I think I will end this talk here.

Thank you all so much for being with me,

For your presence,

For your support,

For your love.

And I hope to see you again very,

Very soon.

Thank you.