Before we explore releasing self-judgment,
I invite you to connect with your breath,
To drop into this present moment.
Inhale through your nose.
And exhale out through your mouth.
This breath technique is helpful when intentionally releasing,
Whether it's a ruminating thought or tension in the body.
Inhaling through the nose and exhaling out through the mouth,
Especially with sound,
Is a powerful tool in the process of not only letting go,
But integrating any nuggets of wisdom in the experience.
I chose to start this way because this piece is all about releasing our tendency to judge ourselves when we feel we make a mistake.
To release the judgment and transmute the experience,
To bring us into deeper states of alignment.
The story I'm about to share didn't take place on a spiritual retreat.
I wasn't meditating.
I was driving to Trader Joe's and I missed the exit.
Through this experience,
I learned that sometimes mistakes are actually opportunities to take us on a more aligned path.
Friends,
I never thought missing an exit would turn into a profound life lesson.
I was driving to Trader Joe's from my mom's house,
And while I had made the drive a few times,
I still had GPS on.
Yes,
I had GPS on and I still missed the exit.
Because of this,
I judged myself immediately after it happened.
Why wasn't I being present,
Mindful in the moment?
In hindsight,
I was being present in the moments that mattered for the lesson about to unfold.
Because I noticed how long was left on the drive.
This seemingly insignificant detail will be important in just a moment.
I had been practicing surrender and trust as I had just let go of my former life and was officially nomadic.
So I quickly took a step back from judgment and thought.
Perhaps this is purposeful.
And with that,
GPS guided me to get off at the very next exit.
I glance down and notice that taking this new path would only take a few minutes more.
And as I drove on this new path to Trader Joe's,
I was amazed at how much more pleasant it was.
The way I always went was congested with traffic on narrow roads,
And my nervous system was not a fan.
This was not only less congested.
But the ride was more aesthetically pleasing.
I felt far more grounded and joyful.
At that moment,
I realized that my perceived mistake was an opportunity to shift.
While it took a little longer.
It was far more enjoyable.
I realized that I had never thought to look for another route.
I just accepted that this was the only way to go.
What felt like a mistake.
Was actually an opportunity to not only find a new root,
But to embody the experience as a metaphor for life.
As I've sat with it for a while now,
I have a number of realizations that I want to share.
If any of these resonate,
I hope it creates any amount of space to shift out of judgment.
And into curiosity.
The next time you feel you make a mistake.
This experience helped in releasing guilt and shame from a pattern of self-judgment.
Take a moment and get curious.
Do you judge yourself when you think you quote-unquote mess up?
If so.
The next time you do.
Remember that this only serves to disempower you and reinforce the conditioning that keeps you in judgment.
Also remember that it can take time to shift out of this pattern.
So can you begin to simply notice the judgments?
Take your time with this step.
Bringing conscious awareness to an unconscious pattern to the point where you can shift out of it,
It doesn't often happen overnight.
So give yourself ample time to simply notice the judgment.
With compassionate curiosity.
You might be curious about actionable steps to help unearth the deeper framework that feeds into the self-judgment.
At any moment,
You feel ready.
Begin to get curious around the experience of the mistakes.
See it through the lens of the observer.
For example.
Is there another way to perceive it?
When you can reframe the mistake or see it through a different lens,
You open yourself up to a whole world of possibilities.
In my experience,
I was open to this perceived mistake.
As being purposeful in some way.
I didn't try to define it.
I was simply open and receptive to allowing the lesson to unfold organically.
Over time,
This can help heal and release the guilt and shame accrued throughout years of self-judgment.
How?
When you begin to observe it with compassionate curiosity.
It can help in understanding why self-judgment is a pattern.
Without blaming yourself or another.
This makes it far easier to release the pattern and integrate the wisdom.
This process isn't about forcing or effort in the traditional sense.
The effort is less about doing.
And more so about being.
Through awareness,
Understanding,
And compassion.
Another actionable step you can take is to recognize that even if it is a mistake,
That in and of itself becomes an opportunity for self-study and growth.
Through this lens,
It stops being a mistake and becomes a mirror to see yourself more clearly.
As you move through this process,
You might begin to trust in everything that you experience,
The highs,
The lows,
And everything in between.
I know that's been true for me.
Full transparency,
It's not yet my immediate response in challenging situations,
Though it is much easier to shift out of reaction mode and into compassionate curiosity.
I've noticed that this process allows one to fully experience life while simultaneously seeing through the lens of the observer.
Being fully present to the experience.
While also witnessing how it shifts our immediate experience as well as our future choices.
And because our choices curate our experience in this life,
As your choices shift.
So will the trajectory of your life.
Even if nothing overtly changes,
Your experience of it will,
Because you will be seeing through new eyes.
This is also why trust is a crucial ingredient in this recipe for shifting.
Trust helps us to more easily shift our perception and perspective of the situation.
What if it isn't a mistake at all?
Rather,
You're being guided to a more aligned path.
This shift requires one to trust in the unknown.
While that can feel scary,
Cultivating this level of trust becomes a gift as you move through life.
Because when life throws you a curve ball.
Trust allows you to move through it with a sense of empowerment.
And radical acceptance.
Rather than saying,
Why is this happening?
You shift into,
Why is this happening?
Thus challenges are seen through the lens of opportunity.
This doesn't mean that they aren't hard to move through.
But through this lens,
It can be more easeful,
Trusting there's purpose in it.
And through it.
As you develop this lens of curiosity,
Empowerment,
And trust,
It can be applied to all areas of your life.
Thus,
That mistake becomes an opportunity to shift into a more aligned path.
And into true freedom.
True freedom is releasing the shackles of the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself.
And your life.
Ask yourself this.
How many things do I do that I don't actually enjoy?
Never taking a moment to ask myself,
Is there another way?
Or how often do you stop and ask yourself,
Why am I doing this?
Because so many actions we take and words we say are from how we've been conditioned throughout our lives.
It can be as simple as how you prepare your coffee or tea.
To what side of the bed you sleep on.
When we begin to take a step back and get curious.
Only then do we truly honor the gift of free will.
True freedom.
Friends,
Once you pull on this thread,
That quote-unquote mistake will allow you to dive deeper and deeper into unconscious patterns and habits.
Through non-judgmental awareness,
You'll discover patterns,
Habits,
And even beliefs that no longer serve you as you release them through compassion and understanding.
It becomes easier to acknowledge who and what.
You truly are,
Not who you think you are or who you've been told to be.
Who and what you truly are.
It can also bring awareness to areas of your life where you have grown and shifted.
Without possibly acknowledging it.
Very simply put,
If something is no longer serving you,
It is a clear indication that you have shifted in some way.
This act of recognition helps foster even more trust and confidence in self.
As I mentioned earlier,
This process can take time.
And we seem to be living in a world rooted in the desire for instant gratification.
So I want to honor that it can feel challenging to swim upstream and let life unfold in its own time.
And as I discovered by missing the exit.
I'd much rather my journey be enjoyable.
And take a little bit longer.
Because through this process,
I now also trust in the divine timing of how and when it all unfolds.
So friends,
The next time you think you,
Quote unquote,
Mess up.
I invite you to pause.
Notice this moment of judgment with compassionate curiosity.
Drop into your breath.
And cultivate any amount of space to trust in what might be unfolding through the experience.
Not needing to know why.
Simply resting in surrender and trust.
And remember,
I wasn't at a spiritual retreat when this happened.
I was driving to Trader Joe's.
Every moment,
Whether you're meditating or watching TV,
Can be an opportunity to shift back into alignment.
When we are in a state of allowance.
And receptivity.
And until next time,
Friends.
Stay curious.
