Life can throw all kinds of things at us,
Making it hard to settle down and go in.
But let's breathe,
Using that breath to settle and quiet.
Inhale and exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
And fair warning,
This one is salty.
There are a few things in life that can drive me from calm to insane in 2.
5 seconds flat.
My children will tell you one of those things is traffic.
Any Zen I might have accumulated gets tossed out the window as I grip the steering wheel and mutter about the nutters who are sharing the road with me.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Another thing that really gets me going are the deer flies who ruin my walks in the forest.
You see,
Walking in the forest is one of my surefire ways to calm the fuck down.
But around here in July in Minnesota,
The deer flies take over the woods.
And if you try and walk down a beautiful path,
They immediately flock to you and begin buzzing and circling your head.
Not only that,
They crawl in your hair and bite your tender scalp.
Literal clouds of deer flies will follow you.
Inhale.
Exhale.
To get rid of them,
I will flail my arms.
I will slap at my head.
I will start to jog,
Hoping to outrun the little bastards.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Deer flies are like thoughts.
Swarming,
Biting,
Ruining the peace and beauty of every day.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Deer flies are like thoughts.
They arrive at certain times in certain conditions.
If you are tired,
Sad,
Lonely,
Struggling.
If you are suddenly on the dark,
Entangled path to Wasville,
Where the residents are ghosts and many of them want to haunt the hell out of you.
Inhale.
Exhale.
So what can you do to destroy the deer flies?
Choose.
If you know a particular setting unleashes the hordes that bite at your tender brain.
Then do your best to avoid that setting.
Maybe it's a particular group or a particular location.
Figure out when your deer flies assemble like the dark hordes preparing for battle and get yourself to a safe location.
Or if you can't avoid the situation,
Have a friend.
With a flyswatter of kindness,
One who whispers support in your ear and kills the biting suckers dead.
Inhale.
Exhale.
You can also get creative.
I know folks who put blue plastic solo cups on their heads because apparently deer flies like blue.
But on those cups,
They smear sticky stuff to trap the devils.
Do you look awkward as fuck?
You betcha.
But I guess it works because there are little carcasses stuck to the cup rather than out there flying around and driving you crazy.
Now,
Am I recommending you walk through life with a blue solo cup on your head?
Not so much.
But can you find creative ways?
To let those deer flies be trapped so that they can no longer bite you and harm you.
And those creative ways might be to meditate,
To dance,
To write,
Take a bath,
Sing into a hairbrush,
Write yourself a love letter,
Call that friend who knows just what to say.
Draw a face with your eyes closed.
See how long you can stand on one foot.
Talk to your plants.
Snuggle with your pet.
Do whatever it takes to repel those fiends that find and follow you.
So you can live and walk free from the thoughts that pester and leave welts behind.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Live light and deer fly free.
Be well.
