This is a chance for you to get out of your head,
To let go of what has been,
To not worry about what may come.
This is a chance for you to turn your attention to your breath,
To inhale and pull in all kinds of nourishing air,
To exhale and release,
Releasing not only the air but any tension,
Any holding,
Any clinging.
Release it all.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
I have lived in my loft for over a year,
And for almost all of that time I have not had neighbors on either side of me.
I am well aware of how lucky I was.
I didn't have to worry about how loud I was being.
I didn't have anyone else keeping me awake.
But a couple of weeks ago,
One of the apartments that I share walls with was rented to a family of four,
Two parents and a pair of twins who are 16 months old.
You might have a guess where this story is going.
Last week I met the mother of the twins outside.
I am so sorry,
She said,
After we greeted one another.
They were crying for an hour last night.
That's because we took their bottles away.
Cold turkey.
To be honest,
I hadn't heard them per se,
But I hadn't slept well,
And now I maybe had a clue as to why.
But I actually didn't care.
Rather,
I felt a rush of compassion for those screaming little girls.
Inhale.
Exhale.
If you've ever had children or been around children,
You know that sucking provides comfort.
So many times if you give a crying baby a breast or a bottle,
The child will begin madly sucking and start to settle down,
Often giving these adorable little hiccups or quick breaths as the storm of their emotions pass.
After speaking with their mother,
My heart went out to the twins next door,
Because one of their main sources of comfort had been taken away.
And did they understand why?
Nope.
Doesn't matter at 16 months how slowly or plainly the parents explained to them about how they didn't want to be the only five-year-olds in kindergarten who were still using a bottle.
Doesn't matter.
The twins wouldn't get it.
All they knew was a thing they loved and used to receive comfort had been taken away from them.
That's pretty hard to take as a 16-month-old and as a human of any age.
It's hard when a thing you love and use to receive comfort from gets taken away.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Comfort can mean many things.
It can mean strengthening and encouragement,
Sustenance and pleasure.
It can mean relief in pain or soothing in affliction.
Comfort can be offered by a person or a thing,
And it can also be the state of being consoled.
Comfort can mean all those different things.
We can experience it in many different ways.
What brings one person comfort might not do the same for someone else.
And what brings comfort at one point in our lives might not do the same at a different time.
So to be clear,
Seeking comfort is not bad.
In fact,
It can be a very good thing when you hurt,
When you are in trouble or pain.
It can be wonderful to seek out someone or something that can soothe you.
Someone or something that can offer you strength,
Encouragement,
Or help alleviate your pain.
And yet,
Because we humans are complicated creatures,
Often what we think will bring comfort might bring more pain.
I have a feeling you might know exactly what I'm talking about,
Because sometimes it's easy to confuse comfort with numbing.
When you hurt or are in distress,
It can be tempting to do whatever it takes to make the pain go away.
And we all know the ways,
The less than helpful ways that we as humans seek to numb our pain.
Inhale.
Exhale.
How then are we to know if we are seeking out good comfort or bad comfort?
I think about the twins.
Think about taking a bottle of milk,
Not a different kind of bottle.
Think about taking a bottle to kindergarten.
That would be a lens through which we could view this.
What are the things that are going to help you grow into your best self?
What are the things you are clinging to that no longer work for where you are in your life?
What will not only bring you ease right now,
But also in the long run?
While they screamed that first night and had a few moments since then,
The twins really have already started sleeping again through the night.
It can suck.
Get it?
It can suck as we let go of that which no longer serves us.
But today is a new day.
A day where the twins are out on the balcony,
Burbling with joy and delight at this brand new day.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Namaste.
