Chewing Gum

Inhale. Exhale. Not settled yet? Let’s try that again. Inhale. Exhale. Welcome to a Hit of Hope, and fair warning—this one is salty. What is making your bum chew gum? The grandmother of a dear and fierce friend of mine often said that, and it’s perfect for those times when life is making you grrrrr instead of sigh with wonder and delight.

Transcript

Inhale.

Exhale.

Not settled yet?

Let's try that again.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Welcome to a hit of hope and fair warning,

This one is a bit salty.

What is making your ass chew gum?

The grandmother of a dear and fierce friend of mine often said that,

And it's perfect for those times when life is making you growl instead of sigh with wonder and delight.

What's making your ass chew gum?

Maybe it's a person who won't listen,

Who won't knock it off even after you've asked nicely six million times.

Maybe it's a situation where you don't know,

Or you can't decide,

Or if this,

Then this,

But what about this?

Maybe it's that nothing ever changes.

Or maybe your ass is chewing gum because why in the hell does everything keep changing?

What's making my ass chew gum right now?

I'm so damn tired of being the chickpea.

What in God's sweet and holy name am I talking about?

The poet Rumi once wrote a poem called Chickpea to Cook,

And it's basically a chickpea who is whining to the cook who is wielding the wooden spoon.

The chickpea is sick and tired of being whacked back into the boiling and bubbling liquid,

And it wants the cook to stop.

The cook gets all wise and basically says,

I'm doing this for your own good,

To add flavor and make something good to eat for the friend.

Screw that.

What's making my ass chew gum is that I'm sick of being the chickpea,

Sick of the wooden spoon and the fierce boilings,

As Rumi says.

Even more,

I'm tired of trying to convince myself it will all turn out well in the end.

How?

When?

And why in the hell can't it be now?

Maybe you've felt that same way.

Inhale.

Exhale.

You know how two opposing things can both be true at the very same time.

While I can hate the fact that I've been a chickpea lately,

I also spent five hours making lasagna this weekend.

I sauteed the onions for 20 minutes.

I reduced the wine for 20 minutes.

I added tomatoes and let that reduce for an hour.

I grated two pounds of cheese.

I made homemade meatballs and coated them in flour before browning them.

I sauteed the sausage.

I put the meatballs and the sausage in the sauce and let that cook for an hour and a half.

I removed the meat from the sauce and coarsely chopped it.

I mixed the ricotta with parsley and more cheese and I layered that lasagna with sauce and noodle and meat and cheese and it was a goddamn miracle in the mouth.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Life will make our asses chew gum.

Life also wields a ginormous spoon and whacks us back into that pot again and again.

You can hate those two facts all you like.

Or you can inhale,

Exhale,

And soften,

And melt,

And burn the roof of someone's goddamn mouth.

But at least you'll know you tasted good doing it.

Namaste.

Reviews

Your salty ones are my favorites. And now I want lasagna!!!!!! 🤪🧡🤪

This made me smile…..😁Loved it! Thank you dear Betsy!🙏🏻❤️

Thank you very much.. The perfect start to any day. One to return to with a chuckle for when life feels too lifey as you’ve put it brilliantly more recently.

I “chew gum" when my Lupus flares so much that I want to throw myself in front of a city bus! The problem with that is is that I don’t have enough energy to get out of bed and get out the door and down the street. I have a 97 year old aunt who always says,” Oh, it will get better. It always does”. I know she’s right but that really isn’t helpful when I feel like shit! She is 97 and said she really knows what pain feels like! I’d like to give her my pain and ask her how she feels then. I DO know it will eventually get better, but at that moment I feel like I will feel awful forever! (because she is 97, I don’t tell to go screw herself like I do when my sister says it. For one day I would like all the people who criticize me to walk (if that’s possible) to walk in my shoes. When I am hurting so bad, I really can’t take that crap from them. LEAVE ME ALONE!🤬

Hmmm, interesting analogy Betsy... With all the Xmas prep/festivities soon beginning, I'll try to stay out of that pot!

Oh my! I love it😂✨🌺

Loved! What a great way to kick start my day! 😃 Namaste! 💗🙏💫

Brilliant! Thank you for creating and sharing!

That was unexpected and crazy town (the place where I live). Thank you!🕉☮️

The metaphors you give us are always fantastic! They help me see what’s underlying a problem in my life, and how to possibly deal with it more skillfully. Sometimes it’s as simple as giving poor shivering Chihuahuas some blankets. And it would be nice to be the wooden spoon sometimes, or maybe even the cook, but odds are that any of us will be chickpeas — but at least we have each other, our fellow chickpeas. You’ve also helped me see how insidious my perfectionism is. I’m embarrassed to say it, but writing a review for one of your meditations usually takes me 20-30 minutes. This isn’t true for most other teachers’ meditations or talks, but I want you to know what a positive effect your work has on my life, but I also don’t want to seem stalker-y or the bad kind of weird, so I spend half an hour trying to find the right words. Since coming to Insight Timer a couple years ago, I always look through the newly posted meditations every night to find ones that might be helpful for me (and of course I bookmark them). Now, however, I scan them all until I find yours, then I sit with it ASAP. (This usually happens not long after midnight, before the notifications are sent out.) You really do make that much difference for me, and for my husband too, since I’m less bitchy. Even when you’re the chickpea, you send out positive ripples.

OMG I laughed and it felt wonderful. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼