The hardest person to forgive might just be ourselves.
Welcome friends.
Thank you for joining me on this journey to self-forgiveness that I hope can help you free yourself from blame and resentment.
The key to self-forgiveness is remembering you are forgiving the younger version of yourself instead of the present day you.
It is the seedling that became you that you are forgiving.
Having this awareness that the offense you committed was done by a less wise and evolved version of yourself can help neutralize any feelings of guilt and self-aversion.
I'm going to guide you through an eight-step self-forgiveness practice that can help you eradicate guilt and pain from past mistakes and in time lead you back to grace with a deeper understanding of yourself.
So whenever you're ready,
Find a quiet and comfortable place where you can sit and relax.
Gently close your eyes and just breathe.
That's all you need to do right now is just breathe.
Feel yourself perhaps grounded in this moment with the earth beneath you or just simply acknowledge that you're alive right now.
If you like,
Try to put your awareness on your heart.
Maybe feel the breath actually going in and out of the area of your heart and just feel into that.
But most of all,
As I said,
Just be here now as a human that is alive.
We're going to start off by calling to mind what you want to forgive yourself for.
Think back on your life.
What comes to mind?
Maybe you have something particular in mind.
Maybe you know exactly what you want to forgive yourself for.
Just call to mind what it is.
If the situation you immediately think of seems too difficult to forgive,
Maybe scale back and pick something easier.
You could always build up to that.
Pick something that in your heart you know you want to forgive yourself and let go and that you are able to.
As you think of this incident,
Next,
I want you to set the scene in your mind when you made this mistake.
How old were you?
Visualize the place that symbolizes this incident.
Where and when did this incident occur?
Describe the scene and location that you see in your mind.
This will help you get in touch with this time period in your life and what you experience so you can have one final taste of it before letting it go.
Replay it.
Like a movie in your mind.
Now,
I want you to declare your mistake.
See that younger version of yourself who made this mistake and say out loud or in your mind what you did.
Name the person or people that you hurt,
How it made them feel,
And how you let yourself down.
Get very clear here.
What exactly occurred in this incident that you want to forgive?
Be explicit and give as much detail as possible.
Now,
As you see this incident in your mind,
For a few moments,
I want you to feel the guilt and the pain.
As you declare the mistake you made,
Identify and describe your feelings.
Feel them.
Feel the emotions.
Allow yourself to feel the realness of the pain.
Feel the realness of your guilt and pain.
Briefly relive the experience.
Use these few moments to let it all out.
If you need to scream,
Then scream.
If you need to punch a pillow,
Then punch a pillow.
I will give you a few moments to relive the memory.
Now stop.
Reflect on what you learned.
I want you to think about what was the lesson from this incident?
What was life trying to teach you through this experience?
Perhaps there's something you are now grateful for that came out of this experience.
The goal in this step is to identify a positive and valuable lesson.
What insights come to mind?
Try to clearly identify the wisdom you gained and how you have grown from this situation.
Now,
With that wisdom fresh in your mind,
Make the U-turn toward self-compassion.
Ask yourself,
What were you going through at this time in your life when this incident happened?
Consider what you learned or experienced in your life to cause you to make this mistake and behave in this way.
Did someone else hurt you in this manner?
Try to examine your state of mind at the time this happened and how it could have led you to make this mistake.
What are the possible factors that caused you to act this way?
How did you feel in the moment when you made this mistake?
Desperate?
Afraid?
Unsafe?
Keep in mind that younger self and the level of consciousness and maturity you were operating at during this time.
Is it possible you were behaving in a way that you believed was serving you in some way at this time?
Remember,
This is not about making excuses or absolving yourself of responsibility.
Instead,
The goal is to give yourself grace and to develop a sense of compassion for that younger self by trying to see what occurred through the eyes of this younger,
Less mature self.
Now,
Visualize staring at your younger self.
Look him or her straight in the eyes and say,
I forgive you.
I love you.
And then embrace them.
Hug them and tell them that they are safe.
You can say,
Dear little one,
You are safe.
You are okay.
You are safe.
You are safe.
You are okay.
You are doing the best you can.
In order to truly forgive,
A genuine expression of love is necessary.
Our hearts cannot be cold and standoffish,
Even to ourselves.
So forgive yourself with love.
I will give you a few moments to do that.
Now,
After doing that,
Reflect on this.
How does forgiving your younger self with love sit with you?
How does it feel?
Are you able to look yourself in the eye and forgive yourself?
Is it something you see as a possibility going forward?
How does forgiving yourself with love feel?
And finally,
Our last step.
I want you to connect with your higher self or your intuition and ask that wiser part of yourself for guidance.
What is your higher self telling you?
What messages are you receiving about this situation?
What is that deep inner knowing telling you?
Ask for guidance.
Search within yourself and inquire.
Have you genuinely forgiven yourself?
And just see what arises.
If the answer is no,
That's okay.
Declare your intention to your higher self to eventually provide you with the grace to forgive yourself.
Then let it go and in a few days,
Repeat the process.
Now,
Just spend a few moments and linger in what you experienced throughout this process.
In a moment,
We're going to conclude the meditation.
So at this time,
You can slowly bring your awareness back to your breath,
Back to the room you're in,
And keep acknowledging how you feel.
Keep being present and noticing any changes in your mind,
Your body,
Your emotions,
Any insights that you've received.
But the most important thing that I want you to do,
No matter what you experienced in this meditation,
When you are done,
I want you to do the same thing and when you're done,
I want you to do something kind for yourself.
For starters,
When this meditation is over and you get up from your seat,
Find the nearest mirror,
Look yourself in the eye,
And say,
I love you.
Then go grab your journal and write down whatever comes to mind.
Or maybe just do something fun.
Maybe go play with your dog,
Hug your child,
Eat a tasty meal,
Go for a run,
Listen to some of your favorite music.
Maybe treat yourself and buy yourself something really nice.
Whatever you do,
Just do something that reminds you how good it feels to be alive.
And remember that you are worthy of forgiveness and love.
But most of all,
Know that forgiveness is a lifelong process.
We never stop forgiving,
But in time,
It gets easier.
Thank you for joining me today and sharing this journey of practicing self-forgiveness.
The light in me honors the light in you.
Much love.
