Standing Up For Yourself Without Going To War

A grounded practice for anyone who freezes when it matters. This session pairs a supported upright spine with slow-paced breathing and low vocal toning to prepare the body for difficult conversations. Rooted in satya, the yogic principle of truthfulness that follows non-harming, and supported by research on paced breathing and heart rate variability.
Suitable for beginners. Not a substitute for professional support.

Transcript

My name is Andrew McElroy, And I'm your guide today. Take whatever seat you have. You don't need to sit straight up yet. We'll get there together. I want to name something before we begin. If you're here, There's a reasonable chance there's a conversation you've been avoiding. A boundary you meant to hold and didn't. A moment where the words are right there and your throat closed around them. That's not a weakness. That's a nervous system doing exactly what it was trained to do. Keep the peace, Stay small, And stay safe. Today, We're not going to fix that with willpower. We're gonna practice the physiology of speaking up. So that when that moment arrives, Your body already knows the shape of it. Appa, Let us commune and practice together. The practice has two parts. First, An upright supported spine with an open front body. Not a military posture, But supported. There's a difference between bracing and standing. Second, A long exhale that ends in a sound. We'll use a low, Quiet voiced exhale, A hum essentially. Because the vocal cords sit directly on the pathway we're trying to reach. In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, They give us satya as one of the paths. Or the eight limb path of yoga, Which is truthfulness. And this is important. Satya sits after Ahimsa, Which is non-harming. The tradition is explicit that the truth is not a weapon. Standing up for yourself is not the same as going to war. It's the practice of letting the outside match the inside. Two things worth knowing. Slow breathing at around six breaths per minute, That's five seconds and inhale and five seconds and exhale, Reliably raises heart rate variability. Higher heart rate variability is associated with better emotional regulation and more flexible responses under social pressure. This is one of the more replicated findings in breath research. And voicing the XL adds something. A 2011 imaging study by Kalani and colleagues at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences of Bangalore. Compared audible chanting against simply making a sss sound. The chanting conditions showed reduced activity across limbic structures, Including the amygdala. The sss sound did not. Now this was just 12 people and it was just a pilot, So I'm not going to oversell it. But it points at something that tradition has said for a very long time. Sound is not a decoration. It's a lover. You can sit or stand. If you're sitting, Come to the front edge of the chair so that your feet are flat on the floor. Let your hands rest palms down and your thighs. Palms down is deliberate. It's a grounding position rather than a receiving one. If you're pregnant or if you have a cardiovascular condition, Keep the breath entirely comfortable, No straining or no forcing the exhale to its end. If humming irritates your throat, Do it silently and imagine the vibration. Remember, Comfort over effort. Stop if you ever feel lightheaded in any of our pranayama practices. Let's begin with the spine. Feet flat. Fill the floor. Let the weight drop through your heels. Now from the crown of your head. Imagine a thread lifting. Not pulling you rigid, Just lengthening. Let the collarbones widen. This is the part where we protect when we're braced. Let the front of your chest be available. Now the breath. Inhale through the nose for a count of five. Danny Arguetty. Excel. Again, Inhale 5, 2, 3, 4, 5. Excel 5. Danny Arguetty. Danny Arguetty. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. In hell. Exhale. Continue at this pace on your own, Five in and five out. Let the count get boring. Yeah. Now we add the sound. Inhale through the nose for five. Two, Three, Four. 4, 5, And on this exhale, Let it become a low hum, Quiet, Chest level. Let it last as long as it lasts. Bye. Again, Inhale 5. And hum it out. Notice where you feel the vibration. Maybe it's in your sternum, Your throat. Maybe the bridge of your nose. Now let's do three more on your own. Inhale for five. And hum out. Inhale. I'm out. Inhale. And hum out. Now let the sound go. Return to silent breathing. And bring to mind. Lightly, Not vividly. The conversation you've been avoiding. Don't rehearse it. Don't script it. Just let it exist in this room while you keep breathing at this pace. Inhale for five. Exhale for five. Inhale for five. Exhale for five. Inhale for five. And Excel. Notice you're still here. The breath is still long. The spine is still tall. That's the whole practice. Not the absence of difficulty. But the presence of you. Returning. Let the breath return to normal. Now scan the jaw. Is it holding? If it is, Let it be heavy. The shoulders. The hand. And the throat. That's the one to notice today. Is there anything different there? Here's what I'd like to offer you. Standing up for yourself rarely feels brave in the moment. It mostly feels like a slightly steadier body and a slightly longer exhale while you say the true thing in an ordinary voice. You practiced that today. And that's not nothing. E. T. Until we practice again together.