Stand Up For Yourself Confidently

Many people find it easier to stand up for others than it is to stand up for themselves. In this reflective practice, we will explore a few ways to cultivate an open-heartedness and deep desire to befriend yourself, just as you are a friend to others. This, in turn, helps you develop the confidence to stand up for yourself at any time.

Transcript

Hi, I'm Amy Pat T. Colvin. Thank you for joining me today. Many people find it easier to stand up for others than it is to stand up for themselves. In this reflective practice, We will explore a few ways to cultivate an open-heartedness and deep desire to befriend yourself just as you are a friend to others. As we go through this practice, Adapt my suggestions to fit your own needs. Honor where you are in this moment and know that you can come back to this exercise at any time. Personal awareness and personal growth are sometimes uncomfortable, So just go and grow at your own pace. Befriending yourself is a choice. When we choose to treat ourselves as well as we treat our dearest loved ones, Sometimes resistance comes up. Notice that resistance and honor it. Sometimes the resistance or block we run into is familiar, Like self-criticism or being easily distracted. Do your best to recognize that it is just resistance, But it does not need to stop you from growing. Begin by minimizing the distractions around you. Find a comfortable position. You could be lying down, Seated on a cushion, Or seated in a chair. If you are seated, Imagine being lifted gently by the crown of your head. Breathe at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Relax your jaw. Relax your forehead. Relax your neck and shoulders. Put a gentle, Easy smile on your face and slowly close your eyes or drop your gaze, Whichever feels better to you. You may notice that your mind wanders away, And that's okay. It's perfectly normal and very human. When you notice that you've drifted, Smile to yourself. Then bring your awareness back to your breath, Your body, And my voice. Now bring to mind a time when you stood up for someone else, A time where you supported or supported or protected that person, Or maybe you spoke up on their behalf. Maybe it was a situation where you couldn't do anything outwardly, But internally you were a strong ally. You were fully present with that person. The two of you were together. You were on their side. You were a friend to them, And you were there for them. You might not have been against others, But definitely for this person, You were standing next to them as you held them in your mind. Maybe you can imagine multiple instances of standing up for others, Multiple times where you've encouraged others or were determined on their behalf. Notice what it feels like in your body, Emotions, And mind when you're standing up for someone else. Where do you feel it? Is it peaceful, Empowering, Invigorating, Loving, Confident? As you imagine this instance of standing up for your loved one, Perhaps you notice you're sitting up a little straighter, Or maybe you feel a quality of determination. Notice your face. What expression are you wearing? Maybe you have a particular look in your eye or set to your jaw when you're on the side of someone else. Notice your emotions. Do you feel warm-hearted when you think of supporting another? Do you feel a sense of compassion for that person you're supporting? Or maybe you notice a quality to your friendship, A sense of energy and vitality that you project outward in support of your loved one. Notice where you feel these emotions in your body. Now that you've become aware of your emotions and physical sensations as you support someone else, Imagine applying these emotions and feelings for yourself as you stand up for you. Imagine yourself outside your body as if you're looking over your own shoulder. Bring to mind something challenging for you or a difficult situation you're dealing with in life these days. Now that you know what it feels like when you stand up and support someone else, See if you can sustain those feelings for yourself when you need to stand up. Notice if you feel that same sense of determination or confidence for yourself. You're not being arrogant or conceited. You're simply expressing the same healthy advocacy you felt for your loved one and applying that to yourself. No matter the circumstances where you need to stand up for yourself, It could be around pain, Conflict with another person, A tough job, Fear about finances or the future. No matter what it is, Approach standing up for yourself like you would stand up for your best friend. Just as you want to help the other person to make things better, Say for yourself, I am safe. I am at ease. I am ready to stand up for myself. I'm ready to make things better. My life matters. I matter. Imagine how you might act or what it would look like if you were on your own side in a tricky relationship or when dealing with a challenging situation. Notice how it feels in your body. Notice what emotions come up, Even if it's uncomfortable. Remember that you are enough. Continue to tap into this feeling of determination and strength on your own behalf. Get a sense of this feeling of being a friend to yourself. Trust and know that it benefits others when you are on your own side, Standing up for yourself. Feel that sense of warmth in your heart and body when you are a good friend to yourself. Feel that sense of warmth, Tenderness and caring as you look out for yourself and extend good wishes towards yourself. Feel this sense of being on your own side, Sinking into you. Let this sense of being your own ally establish itself in you deeply. As you resonate with the warm feelings of care for yourself and personal strength, Bring your awareness back to your breath. As you hold those warm feelings for yourself and that sense of confidence, Breathe deeply, Slowly and fully. Once again, Quietly in mind for yourself, Repeat the following phrases. I am safe. I am at ease. I am kind to myself and stand up for myself. I am enough and I want to grow and become even better. Whenever you're comfortable bringing this reflective practice to a close, Gently wiggle your fingers and toes. Stretch if your body wants to. Then peacefully open your eyes and refocus your gaze. Then carry this sense of inner strength and confidence with you into the rest of your day.