Become Emotionally Available & Vulnerable

Do you feel a calling to deepen your own ability to feel and flow your emotions? Have you ever felt disconnected from trusting and honoring your own heart, had a divorce, tough childhood, or recent break up and feel emotionally unavailable? After my divorce 9 years ago, I closed myself off from deeper intimacy. My own heart was not available to my own self, I would distract myself and get "busy" and wondered why I kept attracting unavailable men. This meditation is a gift, listen and heal.

Transcript

Lay down in a comfortable position with your body spread wide open.

We're going to make ourselves available in this guided journey made with lots of love.

Have you ever said,

I attract emotionally unavailable men?

Or I'm emotionally unavailable?

I'm so frustrated,

I want to be in a relationship but I keep attracting the same again and again.

He might be in another state,

Country,

Getting over his ex-wife,

Going through a divorce,

Maybe getting with a girlfriend or saying that he's over someone but he's really not.

They come in so many different shapes and sizes,

The emotionally unavailable.

And what that gets to gift us with is an opportunity to reflect on ourselves because we're the ones that are attracting those unavailable men.

And I know this really well because I have to say,

After my divorce,

I've been divorced now nine years and I was with someone that I loved very deeply for a very long time who happened to be my high school sweetheart.

And I was in a very codependent relationship with myself and not really able to be happy with myself.

And I would get love from other people and that,

I learned,

Is not a very uplifting way to live.

And so I've done so much healing around this.

And I would get frustrated because there were different forms of unavailable men that I attracted.

And thank the Lord that I saw the light from studying many,

Many,

Many different ways of healing with many different amazing teachers,

Mentors,

And finally learning neuro-linguistic programming,

Hypnosis,

Psychay,

Studying with some just awesome people.

I was finally ready.

I became more and more ready to let down my guard and to allow myself to be more available to those hurt parts of my own past where I was raised Catholic and I felt very guilty and ashamed.

Every single thing I did was about doing it right because I did not want to do it wrong.

It's as though everything I did was being watched by God and being judged as good or bad,

Sinful or not.

And so I realized that I really wasn't free.

I wasn't really free to be myself because I was constantly judging myself,

Criticizing myself,

Feeling less than,

Not worthy enough,

Or unlovable.

Can you relate to any of this?

Allow yourself to open up your body now and lean back and feel so grateful that you found this guided meditation,

This guided journey that is going to be so powerful for us because I've been through all that and I've seen the light and I love my life and I feel so much joy just being,

Just being here right now.

Allow yourself to feel wherever you're at right now and please know that you are perfectly where you are and there is nothing wrong with you.

If you ever wonder why do I keep attracting the same type of person,

I'm so frustrated,

Why do I keep doing this in your heart on yourself,

Take a moment to place your hand,

Your right hand over your heart and bring your left arm away along your side so that you can stretch and open even more your heart,

Allowing yourself to feel on a deeper level now.

Take a deep exhalation and let out all those criticisms and judgments and conditions and the right and the wrong and why,

Why,

Why,

Why am I like this?

Whatever frustrations and energies you're holding in your body,

Take a moment to empty out.

Did any of what I said ignite or activate certain sensations in your body or feelings from the past?

I used to do that too,

I'm doing that right now because there's a reason you magnetized to this meditation why you said yes,

I want to listen to this.

And so allow yourself now to empty out and to decide right now.

I decide to process and release the heaviness of my past that I myself created with my own perceptions,

Judgments and beliefs about myself.

Letting yourself know you love yourself,

You can say I love you and then exhale.

I'm open to loving you in a deeper way now.

Your hand is on your chest,

Close your eyes and feel,

Feel what's there.

Become available now to the sensations in your chest as you move your hand in circles.

Circles over your heart.

Inhale deeply,

Feeling the expansion of your chest,

Your abdomen,

Your ribs.

Your hand is over your heart,

Creating loving circles clockwise.

Allowing yourself to feel the emotions,

The sensations of your heart,

Your chest.

How do I feel in my heart?

I'm open to feeling.

I'm free to feel now.

I give myself permission to be vulnerable,

Available with myself now.

Inhale and expand as deeply as you can,

Noticing the expansion ability of your heart,

Your chest,

Your abdomen,

Your lungs.

Feeling the whole range of movement,

That excursion of expansion that is available to you now.

With your eyes closed.

Feel.

I support myself to feel whatever arises.

Simply witnessing there's absolutely nothing you have to criticize or analyze about what you're feeling.

Are you able to hold a loving,

Non-judgmental space of awareness for yourself right now?

And you're just witnessing whatever arises.

Be the witness,

The observer.

It's as though you're a video camera watching yourself.

There's nothing that needs to be solved or analyzed.

You might be thinking of people or memories.

It's all perfect.

Allowing yourself a deep inhalation.

Exhale.

Inhaling deeply.

Exhaling.

Allowing yourself to guide your own inner,

Be guided by your own inner wisdom to go wherever you feel there might be any emotions or tensions holding on your chest,

On your abdomen.

Be curious.

Hmm,

Where do I feel I might be holding something?

Maybe I'm holding a little bit of tension right there above my navel and below my ribs where my diaphragm is.

Sometimes we hold back,

Sharing our feelings,

Saying what we really feel.

Have you ever held back really sharing yourself,

Vulnerability your emotions?

You've ever liked someone a lot,

But you just,

You didn't want them to know.

And you don't even know why you didn't want them to know.

It's just that feeling of being vulnerable.

That maybe wasn't something that you were used to.

Revealing your naked and raw self.

Are you willing to reveal that aspect of you now?

Completely available emotionally with yourself right now.

What have I stored in my gut?

What have I stored in my heart?

Feel it.

Expand.

Exhale.

Let it go.

Feeling and flowing with your breath and your sounds supports you to feel and flow your emotions.

How does it feel to feel?

Do I welcome it?

Or do I feel a little scared doing this exercise?

Sometimes we've suppressed so many years of true true feelings that to feel what we really feel would mean that we would have to change our career or change our marriage,

Change our relationship,

Change,

Shift.

And for a lot of us,

That's scary.

Allowing yourself to feel your fears,

To feel the resistance to feel and feel it all.

That's why you're here with me now.

I will guide you to navigate through those challenging spots.

You can do this.

Are you willing to?

Say I decide to feel everything as it arises with so much love,

Kindness and compassion.

Feel.

I choose to feel everything that arises now in me with so much love,

Kindness and compassion.

I'm free to feel all those hurt and wounded places that I have suppressed and depressed and avoided.

I am open to feeling it now,

Feeling and flowing wherever I have trapped or disconnected myself from feeling and flowing everything now.

How does it feel to feel now?

I decide to feel comfortable feeling my emotions and sensations now.

I choose to feel comfortably uncomfortable with all the sensations that arise.

I welcome,

I invite all the sensations in me.

This is an abundance mindset,

Is to be open to feeling everything.

Doing this meditation will actually cause you to attract yourself to receive more abundance in your life,

In all areas of your life.

You're no longer disconnecting and avoiding.

You're no longer in lack of all of who you are.

You're opening yourself up to a wider range of you,

The feeling of you and everything,

Your whole human experience.

Feeling so grateful you are so courageous,

Feeling grateful for yourself for being emotionally available.

If you created a story as a child that your parents were not emotionally available for you,

If your parents ignored you or they didn't spend enough time with you or they didn't understand you,

This is the perfect exercise to heal that.

Allow those emotions to come up.

Was my dad unemotionally available?

Take a deep breath in and feel what's there.

Did I feel neglected,

Ignored,

Abandoned?

Allowing those emotions,

Those memories to come up.

Exhale,

Release,

Process,

Transfigurate.

Your body wants to be free of your emotional baggage.

It's natural for you to process.

Just as we go to the bathroom every day,

A lot of us are walking around though emotionally constipated.

This is a solution for you.

This is an opportunity right now.

Do I take it personally that my parents weren't available for me?

Are you willing to forgive,

To have more compassion,

To understand that our parents did the best that they could,

To invite more acceptance into your life about your past and about yourself?

I'm open.

You can say that.

I'm open.

I'm open to being open about that.

Your words are powerful.

And was your mother unemotionally available?

Did you not feel nurtured enough by your mom?

Was she cold and unfeeling?

Or did she tell you to stop crying or be quiet?

Were you supported to feel as a child?

Allow whatever arises to be felt.

Inhale.

Exhale.

If there's any anger,

Any sadness,

Any bitterness,

Resentment,

Feel and flow.

Touch your body there wherever you're feeling that.

Feel grateful that you're feeling and flowing your emotions and releasing and transmuting and transfigurating.

Inhale,

Inhale,

Inhale,

Inhale,

Inhale.

Hold it.

Expand,

Expand,

Expand.

Hold it.

When you can't hold it any longer,

Let it all go out the window.

Inhale,

Inhale,

Inhale,

Inhale,

Inhale.

Hold it.

Expand it.

Hold that.

Reset,

Reset,

Release,

Renew,

Refresh,

Recreate,

Lighter you.

Allowing yourself to feel grateful for your past and all the heaviness and all the resentments,

Bitterness,

Anger,

Shame,

Blame,

Whatever it was,

It was your past.

And there's a beautiful gift on the other side.

It's fertilizer to grow.

Allow it all to come up and to come through.

I am open to being vulnerable.

My vulnerability is my power.

I am emotionally available now.

You've been holding this for God knows how long.

Be grateful.

It might not be easy,

But it's okay.

I believe in you.

You're strong.

You're so much stronger than what you might believe.

Ah,

Love this part of you.

If you can,

Hug a pillow as you do this and imagine that that's you as a child or as a teenager.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

Your feelings matter.

It's our nature to process our feelings,

The energy of our emotions.

The way we feel is based on the stories and the perceptions that we make up,

The meaning that we give things.

We are the ones that are creating that perception interpretation,

The meaning.

Your parents are your parents and you gave meaning to their actions and what it meant about you.

My dad left when I was 12,

So that means I'm unlovable.

That's a story I made up,

A perception that hurt me my whole life.

My parents got a divorce,

So I must not be healthy.

There must be something wrong with me if they're my family.

Another story I made up that hurt me immensely.

Allowing yourself to tell yourself,

I'm sorry for all the stories I made up.

I'm so sorry.

You can't go back in the past.

You perfectly made up those stories so that you could grow and be this amazing person that you've become.

So that you can be here right now to strengthen your ability to be emotionally available.

It's all been perfect.

So you're going to say now,

Bring your parents here or whoever it is that you feel you made a meaning about yourself.

They caused you a lot of suffering.

Bring them here and look into their eyes,

Hold their hands,

Look into their eyes,

Say thank you.

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you.

For making me aware of how my own perceptions and stories weigh me down.

And you could even share with them what stories you made up about yourself because of how they acted towards you.

Dad,

Because you did this,

I made up a story about myself,

About me being a certain way.

So take your time right now.

You could even pause this recording.

And go through each person that you made up a story about and how that hurt you.

It could have been the silliest thing as a child.

Maybe there was a boy that you liked and he stopped talking to you and you made up a story that you're not worth it.

You're not worthy of someone liking you.

In second grade or fifth grade it could have been.

It's amazing how we store in our bodies all these memories.

And then we wonder why it's so hard for us to meet someone that really,

Really loves us.

And the truth is we just have to love ourselves fully.

Do you love and accept yourself fully?

Do you need to bring yourself into the room and look at yourself and ask yourself,

How can I love you more?

What story did I make up about myself that hurt me?

Is that the person that hurt you the most?

Yourself?

We are the ones that decide our thoughts and our perceptions.

We decide it.

We choose it.

We are conscious creators.

We are powerful beings when we pay attention to our thoughts.

You're welcome to pause this recording now and ask yourself,

How can I love you more a few times?

You can also journal about it.

Do I love myself and accept myself?

If not,

Where can I love myself more and accept myself more?

In my heart,

On myself?

Do I feel safe enough to really be myself?

Do I feel safe enough to feel my emotions?

My true feelings?

Whatever is there,

Love it.

Love that part of you that sometimes is scared to be vulnerable.

Most of the world is.

Many of us have a hard time feeling.

That's why there's so much addiction in the world.

This is why this recording was created,

To be a catalyst for feeling and for navigating and flowing and transfigurating these emotions so that we can flow and feel and be free.

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

We are the change,

The shift we wish to see in the world.

We are.

Each one of us.

I feel so grateful right now that you've gone this far in this meditation.

And no matter how much attention you have placed on it,

You went through it to this point.

What if I could simply celebrate every single moment and be grateful for it?

What if I could be more compassionate and accepting to myself from this moment on?

I love and accept myself exactly as I am.

Now.

I decide to love and accept myself exactly as I am now.

And remember,

You're constantly,

Constantly shifting.

It's really,

Really very powerful to breathe and flow throughout the day and feel grateful for yourself.

And remember,

You're so dynamic.

And wherever your attention goes,

Energy flows.

Allow yourself to check in.

Do I feel more emotionally available now?

What are my emotions right now?

What are my feelings right now?

And how do I feel about feeling now?

I decide to be masterful at feeling and flowing.

I decide to be honest and the witness of whatever it is that arises that is true within me.

Allowing yourself to hold space,

Create space to feel yourself every single day,

Throughout your day.

It can be as simple as before every meal,

Placing your hand over your heart and breathing three conscious breaths,

Checking in with yourself.

And throughout the day,

How do I feel?

Closing your eyes and feeling your heart,

Feeling your gut.

Especially when we're with people,

We're doing new things.

Does this feel aligned?

Do I gravitate towards this,

Checking in with yourself?

I am available to all of my feelings,

Sensations,

And emotions now.

I decide to be completely,

Wholeheartedly available to all of what I sense,

Feel,

Everything that arises.

I welcome it all.

I love it all.

I embrace it all.

I love all of who I am,

All of who I am.

My whole human experience in this body,

In this electric,

Energetic body,

My soul in a body,

I am open to it all.

I don't have to understand it all.

I am open to closing my eyes and just feeling and flowing.

And for me,

For this to be enough,

And a beautiful first step in creating a deeper connection,

A deeper intimacy,

A deeper ability to be vulnerable.

Our vulnerability is our power.

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you so much for being so courageous.

Let me know how this meditation benefits you and whatever came up for you,

Whatever wisdom,

Insight.

And remember,

Listening to it again and again allows you to go deeper and deeper and deeper.

And if you wish to have a deep,

Intimately connected relationship with someone,

This meditation will strengthen your own ability to attract that by you being that and vibrating this frequency of openness and availability.

Thank you so much for making the time to be fully present to all of who you are and to be in the flow of abundance of your greatness,

All of it.

Loving the light,

Loving the dark,

Loving the strong,

Loving the weak,

Loving all of who you are.

This is true love,

Unconditional love.

We love all of our parts.

We embrace,

We accept all of our parts.

The more we listen to this meditation,

We're creating a new world where we embrace,

Accept,

And love more fully.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🤍 this made me re dive into abandonment and realised it’s still there. Also when I hugged my younger self and my teenage self she/me/they really needed it. And that I need me was the biggest realisation and that I want me and to accept all parts of me. Thank you for sharing this with the world xxx

Thank you for the wild ride home to myself!

I cried so many tears. What a beautiful release of stored emotion. Thank you 🙏

A true revealing of one’s earliest pains and incipient struggles. The truth about attracting unavailable people…
Thank you 💙

I get a better understanding of myself, of unacceptance that had lived inside about the past and some ugly thoughts that it brought.. I know that I am not my thoughts and that love will cure it all

This was lovely and refreshing. I need to practice this letting go and some stories that are so engraved in me. Breathing exercises are helpful. I wish all people on dating apps would truly practice this....It all starts with ourselves...but it also requires to train to have perspective vs social media and its narcissistic risks and addictions where one gives the power to others to decide of someone's worthiness...and letting go from time to time to ve distracted and multi task. Our cultural conditionning pushes us to be constantly disctracted to avoid being with ourselves and therefore fully welcome who we are and what we feel. Thamk you!🌠

Wonderful, heartfelt meditation. Opened my heart, thank you.

thank you for creating space for something I've been struggling with and having a difficult time putting words to.I have suppressed my vulnerable side for so many years I feel like I'm stuck living in my head and will need to listen to this a few more times to crack my heart open. thank you for sharing your journey and helping othets a long the way. namaste

Thank you for sharing your personal excerpts throughout the audio . I liked that you could relate ‘ seeing as though you’ve been there yourself . I cried - a good , weight-has-been-lifted type ; it was very releasing . This helped me to realize I took my parents of a pedestal long ago ‘ yet somehow kept their ideologies up there . Thanks for the reality check 🙏🏽🙏🏽🔆

Omg... Omg.. Omg!!
You have no idea how much I needed this today!! I have been struggling with surrendering and allowing myself to be more open and vulnerable. I didn't understand why it was so hard. Now I get it. Thank you... Thank you... Thank you!!! 10 stars!! So much love to you!! 🙏💜💫💞

This truly spoke to parts of my soul....definitely need to improve my self love & set myself free. Do you have any helpful resources? Namaste