Welcome to this meditation that I've called Strength and Freedom from Shoulds.
I'm actually recording this meditation sitting in the bush and it's occurred to me that that could be a very supportive thing to do is to be in nature while you're listening to this reflection or doing this meditation.
So taking a little time now to settle into your seated posture.
There's nothing in particular you need to achieve here.
Just allowing yourself to arrive.
And when you're ready,
See if you can bring some awareness to the body as a whole.
Perhaps noticing the central axis of the body.
The spine.
The head balanced above the body.
You might like to tuck the chin a little and imagine that string coming out of the top of your head.
And your pelvis and legs grounded beneath you.
See if you can sense some quality of strength or steadiness throughout the body.
It might feel like an energetic alignment.
A sense of being gathered.
Upright.
Grounded.
Supported from within.
You don't need to make this happen.
You can just notice whether there may be already some sense of strength or stability here.
And if not,
You might experiment with bringing to mind something that evokes strength in you.
Perhaps a person,
A place,
A time in your life,
A remembered feeling of standing firmly in yourself.
And then gently notice what happens in the body as you connect with that.
Where do you feel it?
Perhaps in the chest or belly.
Bye.
The legs or feet.
Or perhaps as a sense of energy throughout the whole body.
Take a little time to be with this.
And if there is a sense of strength,
Alignment,
Steadiness here.
Allow yourself to enjoy it.
Savor it.
Time will not be wasted if you have accessed this sense of strength and steadiness and just pause the recording and continue to be there,
Continue to experience this.
Or if you like you might begin to gently reflect on your life.
On the culture you live in.
Your family,
Your relationships.
Your work,
Paid or unpaid.
The wider social environment that has shaped you.
We all absorb ideas about how life is supposed to be.
Ideas about what makes us successful.
What makes us worthy.
What we should look like.
How productive we should be.
How we should behave.
And what it means to be a good parent.
A good partner.
A good worker,
A good friend.
And some of these beliefs may be very helpful.
And some may be contributing to suffering without us even realising it.
Perhaps there's a belief that you have to be productive to be worthwhile.
Or that you should always be coping.
That you should be further ahead in life than you are.
That you must please other people.
That your body should look a certain way.
That getting older is something to resist.
That difficult emotions are signs that something is wrong with you.
Or perhaps there's something much more personal to you that comes to mind.
There's really no need to go looking for something hidden or difficult.
Just see what naturally arises.
And as you notice it,
See if you can remain connected with the body.
Connected with the ground beneath you.
And with whatever sense of strength or steadiness is available.
At any point in this meditation.
That difficult feelings are a little overwhelming.
Please remember this sense of strength or steadiness,
Even if it's only subtle,
And return to it.
So with whatever you've noticed about these beliefs that you've absorbed gently continuing to notice what happens.
As you bring this to mind.
What kind of thoughts?
What kind of emotions?
What kind of sensations or movements of energy in the body.
Maybe even sensations that seem to extend beyond the body.
There's nothing you need to push away.
And nothing you need to force yourself to feel.
Just allowing yourself to notice what is here.
With as much kindness and curiosity as feels possible.
And if something emotionally difficult arises and needs your attention.
Does it feel okay to stay with that for a while?
You might even pause this meditation and move to one of my other difficult emotions practices if that feels appropriate right now.
And once you've spent a little time noticing,
Attending to thoughts,
Emotions,
Body sensations.
.
.
Body energies.
You might like to turn to gently investigating this belief.
That you've noticed.
So rather than automatically believing it.
Or trying to get rid of it.
Can you become a little curious about it?
And you don't need to answer the following questions.
You can just see what arises as I put them out there.
Is this belief actually true?
Where did I learn this?
Who taught me this?
And perhaps,
Is it actually an inherent truth about being human?
Or is it something that has simply become very familiar?
I've never even questioned it.
Perhaps it's a social agreement that has been repeated so often it feels like a fact.
We can sometimes forget that many of the things we take for granted are simply ways that human beings have agreed to organize life.
And these agreements are important,
Of course.
But sometimes we forget that they're not inherent truth.
For example,
The idea that our worth depends on how much we achieve.
Or that there is one particular way that a successful life should look.
Or that we should always be happy,
Confident,
Productive or in control.
What happens when you see these ideas not as absolute truths?
But as beliefs that have been handed down to you.
This doesn't mean that you have to reject them.
Or replace them with something new.
But it can be so helpful to know that there's a choice.
And again,
Noticing what happens in your body as you consider this.
Thoughts.
Feelings.
Sensations.
Energy.
Perhaps resistance.
Perhaps relief.
Perhaps sadness.
Perhaps anger.
Perhaps something else entirely.
Can you allow it to be here?
And see if you can remain connected or come back to that deeper sense of steadiness.
Strength.
Oh groundedness.
And notice if anything has perhaps shifted.
Maybe there's a little more space.
Tiny bit more freedom.
Maybe a sense of possibility or hope.
Or a quiet confidence.
Or a feeling of being more within yourself.
More sure of yourself.
If so,
Can you allow that quality to be felt in the body?
And remember that strength doesn't have to feel hard or brittle.
It doesn't have to be rigid or forceful.
Strength can have a softness.
It can be flexible.
It can have some yielding and pliancy in it.
It can be like a tree that is deeply rooted and still able to move with the wind.
Perhaps you can sense even a subtle kind of strength like that now.
And if it feels good Permission to let yourself linger with it.
You might particularly enjoy bringing awareness down into the lower body.
Pelvis and buttocks.
Thighs,
Lower legs,
Feet.
Perhaps noticing the musculature of the legs.
The weight of the body.
Contact with the earth.
And perhaps imagining or sensing the energy of the body dropping downwards.
Becoming more grounded.
More settled.
More embodied.
Let yourself spend some time now staying with these helpful qualities that you may have discovered,
Not trying to manufacture strength.
Just allowing yourself to recognize it when it appears.
And sometimes as we question old beliefs,
Anger may arise.
If that happens,
Perhaps see,
Can you discover the strength within the anger?
It's one of the gifts of anger.
Not necessarily the impulse to act out of it but the underlying quality of strength.
The part that says,
This matters.
This isn't okay.
Something needs to change.
Perhaps you can feel that strength without needing to be carried away by the anger.
Annoyance,
Irritation.
And perhaps sadness or grief arises.
If it does,
Can you gently ask yourself?
What is this sadness need right now?
Perhaps it needs to be felt.
Hand on the heart or gently swaying the body,
Allowing tears.
Perhaps it needs tenderness.
A real leaning in and care.
Perhaps it needs to feel healed.
Perhaps imagining your hands softly and delicately cupping the sadness,
The grief.
And this attention to emotions is of course so wise.
And sometimes as some of us become more experienced in working with difficult emotions we can also develop a bit of a tendency to lean towards what is painful and overlook what is beautiful,
Nourishing or awe-inspiring.
It's so helpful to see if you can make room for both.
There can be sadness and beautiful bird songs.
There can be grief.
And warmth in the sunlight.
There can be irritation.
And the feeling of a healthy,
Strong body.
There can be uncertainty and the support of the earth beneath you.
Yes,
This and this.
So not pushing away the difficult experience or emotions and not overlooking the lovely things that might be here at the same time.
And knowing that we're getting towards the end of the meditation.
And maybe for a few moments you can just simply rest in whatever is here now.
The body.
The movement of the breath.
The earth beneath you.
The sense of strength or softness or flexibility or freedom that may have emerged.
There's no particular way this needs to feel.
Just noticing.
And perhaps remembering that questioning the beliefs and values that we've absorbed isn't a one-off exercise.
It's something we can continue to explore.
Gently,
Curiously,
Patiently.
We may begin to notice the beliefs that have been shaping our lives and discover that some of them are not quite as solid or as inherently true as they once seemed.
And perhaps each time we notice that there may be some difficult emotions to be with.
And there also may be just a little more freedom,
A little more choice,
A little more space.
To live from what feels deeply true,
Deeply meaningful to us.
And whatever you're feeling right now.
Perhaps you can allow this moment to be a part of that path towards freedom.
Thank you.
