Hey there friend,
My name is Anthony and welcome to the Havening Technique.
This technique is one of the most powerful and one of my favorite techniques for relieving stress and anxiety and triggering relaxation in the body that I've ever come across.
It really is the ultimate SOS tool for alleviating in the moment stress,
Overwhelm,
Anxiety and fear.
Havening as a therapy was originally created specifically to treat trauma and PTSD,
So this is a really powerful tool that can not only trigger deep calm in your body,
But also rewire how you experience negative events in your brain.
So if you think about the name Havening,
Right,
It's based on the idea that we are finding a safe haven within ourselves,
Creating a place of safety and shelter within our bodies.
And the basic idea is that by repeatedly touching or caressing certain parts of our body and moving our eyes laterally from left to right,
While reciting positive affirmations or thinking about or visualizing something pleasurable,
Immediately calms our nervous system and makes us more relaxed and less stressed.
So I am going to guide you on how to use this technique so you can use it anytime,
Wherever you are,
Whenever you're feeling stressed,
Anxious,
Gripped by anger,
Fear or any negative emotion and you just want to relax and get calm.
Then we will do a full session together.
So let's go over it.
There are three basic parts of Havening that we are going to focus on.
The first is the Havening touch.
All you're going to do is rub your arms in a gentle up and down motion,
Starting from just below your shoulder to right above your elbow.
So if you cross your arms across your chest,
Where you have one hand below each shoulder,
And you are just going to stroke the sides of your arms in a gentle,
Pleasurable motion.
The next part is the eye movement.
All you're going to do here is move your eyes laterally from left to right.
And the last part is simply visualizing something positive or pleasurable.
Someone you love,
Something you love doing,
Or just repeating positive affirmations or positive statements about yourself.
And that's it.
When combined together,
All of these make up a dynamic and powerful Havening practice to immediately relieve anxiety.
However,
You don't need to do all of them together to harness the power of this technique.
The Havening touch alone is a powerful tool all by itself for alleviating stress and anxiety.
It is also very effective as a way to get relaxed when doing any type of meditation practice.
I sometimes use the Havening touch in the beginning of a meditation session to help myself drop into a deeper state.
Let's give this a try together,
Shall we?
Ideally,
If you're able to get comfortable right now,
You can do so,
But that is not required because as I mentioned,
Havening is designed to be done anywhere,
In the moment,
When you're in the thick of challenging emotions.
So take a deep breath in,
And let it out in whatever way feels good.
Feel your feet on the floor,
Or if you are lying down,
Feel your body against the surface beneath you.
And close your eyes,
If that feels safe.
Call to mind something in your life right now that is causing you a great deal of discomfort and unpleasantness.
It could be a memory from the past that haunts you,
It could be something in one of your relationships,
Or perhaps something in your work that triggers feelings of anxiety or anger.
It can be any situation that overwhelms you with heavy emotion,
That grips you and makes you feel stuck.
Literally anything that is blocking your well-being or causing you to be unhappy at times.
Recall a specific time or incident when you experienced this issue,
And these unpleasant feelings were triggered.
This could be something that just happened earlier today,
Or maybe a few minutes ago,
Or this can be an ongoing issue in your life.
Now,
As unpleasant as this might be,
Try to relive the uncomfortable feelings,
And try to activate the painful emotions right now.
Try to get the anxiety,
The hurt,
The anger,
Any of those unpleasant feelings really high so you can feel them.
The aim here is to get a bit uncomfortable from revisiting this memory,
From re-experiencing it.
Now immediately clear your mind,
Completely clear your mind,
And start rubbing the sides of your arms gently.
So cross your arms across your chest,
Putting your right hand beneath your left shoulder and your left hand beneath your right shoulder,
And gently stroke the sides of your arms up and down in a continuous motion.
Not too hard,
But in a rhythm and speed however feels best for you.
Think of it like you are comforting yourself.
As you keep rubbing your arms,
Start to imagine that all of this anxiety and unpleasantness is flowing out of your body,
Dripping out of you like toxic liquid onto the floor.
See all this negative energy emptying out of your body as you keep stroking your arms.
As you keep applying this soothing touch,
Imagine now you are walking through the most beautiful,
Peaceful place you have ever seen.
It could be a place in nature,
A place you've visited,
It could be anywhere in the world,
Real or imagined.
Bring to mind these gorgeous surroundings.
Visualize in your mind everything that you would experience and notice if you were taking a stroll through this beautiful,
Peaceful place.
Pay attention to how you feel being here.
And if it feels good,
At any time you can drop in a simple mantra or affirmation by gently reciting a calming phrase to yourself.
I am calm and relaxed.
I am calm and relaxed.
Hopeful and peaceful in a state of love.
Hopeful and peaceful in a state of love.
I am safe and at home.
I am safe and at home.
Pain free.
Pain free.
I am pain free.
You don't have to say all of these.
Use whatever words feel natural to you.
Repeat them softly and lovingly.
Letting them nourish you as you stroke your arms.
Now,
While still stroking your arms,
You can let go of your mantra and as you continue to see yourself walking through this beautiful,
Peaceful place,
On each footstep you take,
Start counting down with me from 10 to 1,
Either out loud or silently in your mind.
10,
9,
7,
6,
5,
4,
3,
2.
Keep stroking the sides of your arms.
Now start moving your eyes laterally from left to right.
If your eyes were closed,
You can open them to do this.
From moving your eyes laterally to the left,
Moving your eyes laterally to the right.
Eyes to the left,
Eyes to the right.
You can take this at your own pace for just a few seconds.
Eyes laterally to the left,
And eyes laterally to the right.
If this feels uncomfortable at any time,
You don't have to force it.
You can gently let go of the eye movements and simply keep caressing your arms.
Eyes to the left,
And eyes to the right.
Eyes laterally to the left,
And eyes laterally to the right.
Wonderful.
You are doing amazing.
Just a few more seconds of this.
So now we're going to do another round of everything we just did one more time.
So you can let go of the eye movements for now if you were doing them.
You can close your eyes again if you like.
And while still stroking the sides of your arms,
Reconnect with that beautiful,
Peaceful place,
And imagine you are gracefully walking through it,
One step at a time.
Take in all the sights and sounds again,
And notice how wonderful it makes you feel to be in this place.
Keep rubbing those arms.
And again,
If you feel compelled to do so,
You might whisper a calming phrase to yourself.
I am calm and relaxed.
I am calm and relaxed.
Hopeful and peaceful in a state of love.
Hopeful and peaceful in a state of love.
I am safe and at home.
I am safe and at home.
I am safe and at home.
Pain-free.
Pain-free.
I am pain-free.
Whatever phrase feels natural and soothing to you,
Allow it to guide you to peace and safety.
Keep stroking your arms,
And on each step you take now,
Walking through this beautiful,
Glorious place,
Count down with me from 10 to 1.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Again,
Eyes open and start moving them laterally from left to right.
Eyes to the left.
Eyes to the right.
Eyes to the left.
Eyes to the right.
Again,
You can do this if it feels comfortable for you,
And take it at your own pace.
No need to force it.
Keep rubbing those arms either way.
Eyes to the left.
Eyes to the right.
A few more times here.
Moving your eyes.
Now you can let go of the eye movements,
Just keep going with the gentle stroking of your arms.
I want you to try to put your full awareness on the sensations of your hands caressing your arms,
And really pay attention to how it feels.
You can even slow down the momentum to really feel the gentleness.
It's almost like you are rocking and comforting a baby.
Except you're that baby,
And you deserve to be loved,
Cared for,
And gently rocked back to safety.
The interesting thing about this pattern of touch is that it's so natural to us,
And literally hardwired in us since we were infants.
When we were all babies,
Our mothers cradled us in their arms to comfort us.
Or maybe you have children of your own,
And when they are upset,
You naturally use your physical touch to soothe and comfort them.
Or if someone around you is not feeling well,
Or going through a hard time,
You might rub their shoulders,
Or pat them on the top of their back.
These gestures of touch are instinctive for helping us feel safe and grounded.
So why not use them on ourselves?
So as you stroke those arms,
Love yourself like you would love a baby.
Now you can release the rubbing of your arms,
Open your eyes,
And gently rub the palm of your hands together for a few seconds.
Take a deep breath in,
Let it out,
And just let everything go and relax.
Now I want you to call to mind that situation from when we started,
That was triggering anxiety,
And that you found unpleasant or even traumatic.
Observe how it feels now.
Have the unpleasant feelings reduced?
Do you feel better?
If you don't feel that the unpleasant feelings have significantly reduced or gone away altogether,
You can repeat this process until it does.
You can also do this technique as a daily practice to help you ease any tension from daily stress.
Evening is quick,
Easy to do,
And highly reliable to make you feel better no matter what you are using it for.
Simply pick any challenging situation or struggle that you might have in your life or something that has been making you unhappy,
And spend a few minutes each day doing this technique for that issue.
And just love yourself like a baby.
Thanks for listening today,
And I really hope this practice can help restore a sense of peace and wholeness in your life during challenging times.
I also have an abbreviated version of just the guided practice that we did today that you can simply press play on and listen to without the explanation of the individual steps that I went through in the beginning.
You can access it here on my InsideTimer profile.
Just search for self-havening short guided practice for anxiety relief.
All the best.
Take care of yourself.
