Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here.
I'm Whitney Wiley.
I help people navigate change and create more harmony in their work and life,
Drawing from tools like mindfulness,
Mindset coaching,
Journaling,
And adaptation.
My work centers around helping people create this harmony in their lives,
Especially when the circumstances around them feel anything but peaceful.
So let's take just a moment now.
Let your body soften and meet your breath right where it is.
There's nothing to fix,
Nothing to force,
Just this moment and your presence in it.
Today,
We're exploring a phrase you've probably heard before,
It is what it is.
It can sound like a throwaway,
Something people say when they've given up.
But what if we look at it from a different perspective?
What if it is what it is could actually be a path to clarity?
To peace?
And even to power?
Let's be honest,
We've all had those moments where we wish things were different.
Maybe it's your boss,
Not just tricky,
But someone who seems to go out of their way to dismiss you.
Someone who came in after a leadership change and shifted the entire energy from one where you could shine to one where you feel small,
Stifled,
And second-guessed.
I've worked with so many women in that very situation,
Brilliant,
High-performing,
Thoughtful leaders,
Suddenly feeling like they have to shrink to survive.
And they replay it over and over,
Wondering,
What happened?
How did I get it back to what it was?
But here's the painful truth,
It's not going back.
And wishing it would,
Pouring energy into what used to be,
Only deepens the pain.
One of my clients said to me,
I just want her to see me the way my old boss did.
And we had to gently get to this.
That boss is gone,
That version of the workplace is gone,
But you are still here.
And you still get to choose how to show up.
That shift from resistance to reality marked the beginning of her regaining her power.
So,
What do we do instead?
There's a path that I've found powerful,
Especially for women professionals who've been conditioned to keep the peace,
Even when it costs them.
This path has three parts,
Acceptance,
Detachment,
And agency.
Let's walk through them together.
Acceptance isn't giving up.
It's not saying,
This is fine,
When it's really not.
It's not approval.
Acceptance is simply this,
Looking at what's real,
Clearly,
And without distortion.
So,
If someone speaks to you with disrespect,
Acceptance doesn't mean you're okay with it,
It means you name it clearly.
This happened,
This is how it made me feel,
This is the reality of this moment.
And that clarity,
That willingness to stop fighting the facts,
It gives you room to breathe,
It puts your feet back on the ground.
Acceptance says,
I don't have to like it,
But I can stop pretending it's not happening.
Next comes detachment,
And this one is big,
Especially if you're someone who naturally absorbs other people's energy and emotions.
Detachment is about creating space between you and the situation.
It's the difference between being in the storm and watching it from a shelter.
It doesn't mean you don't care.
It means you no longer are entangled.
You get to say,
This is happening,
But it's not all about me.
It doesn't define me.
I can stay grounded even when others are not.
And in that space,
Something amazing happens.
You start to see more clearly.
You don't react to pain,
You respond from presence.
And that brings us to the third piece,
Agency.
Agency is your power to choose,
Not from pressure,
But from clarity.
Once you've accepted what's happening and detached from the emotional whirlpool of it all,
You can ask yourself,
What's mine to do here?
What's aligned for me?
What's one true step I can take that honors my truth?
And yes,
This is the part that can feel scary,
Especially for women who've been taught not to be too much or to avoid being difficult.
But advocating for yourself isn't being mean.
It's being in alignment.
Agency means you don't have to wait for anyone else to change before you do.
You get to choose how you want to show up.
And that's where your peace lives,
Not in control,
But in conscious choice.
So,
What if it is what it is wasn't the end of the story,
But the beginning?
What if naming what's true,
Stepping back with compassion,
And choosing your next move was the way back to your power?
This is the heart of the journey,
From resistance to peace,
From disempowerment to agency.
And if this message resonates with something within you,
I invite you to explore it further.
My short meditation,
Let It Be What It Is,
Is available here on Insight Timer,
Gently guiding you into the feeling of these ideas,
Allowing you to experience them,
Not just think about them.
And there's also a course,
It Is What It Is,
The Practice of Peace and Power,
That breaks down these three pillars,
Acceptance,
Detachment,
And agency,
In a practical,
Embodied way.
Whichever path you choose next,
Remember,
You are not powerless,
You are not wrong for wanting peace,
And you are allowed to choose truth,
Even when it's hard.
Because it is what it is,
And you get to decide what to do with them.
Thanks for listening.
I'll see you in the next piece.
