Turning The Mind Toward What Matters

In this live Lovestream recording, we explore the Four Thoughts (also called the Four Preliminaries) that turn the mind toward what matters: 1- the preciousness of this human life, 2- the truth of impermanence, 3- the law of cause and effect, and 4- the unsatisfying nature of chasing worldly goods.

These reflections are not meant to depress us; they're meant to wake us up to live more fully. When deeply contemplated, they cut through distraction, loosen attachment, and invite us to live with presence, clarity, and compassion.

Transcript

Okay, My beautiful friends. Welcome to all of you, Those who are new and those who have been with me before. And let's dive into our topic today, Remembering that the topic is just a doorway, Takes us down many alleyways, But it opens the space for the Dharma talk. And our topic today is turning the mind towards what matters. So you might say, Well, Why do I need to turn my mind anywhere? My mind's going fine just as it is. Well, My friends, I'm going to remind you that our minds drift like a little dinghy in the ocean. Our minds drift with the winds of life and with the storms of life. Our minds drift towards distractions. Our minds drift in complacency, Right? Just kind of living the way we've always lived, Thinking the way we've always think, Think the way we've always thought. And so we need to turn our minds back into focus, To not postpone living intentionally. Because most of us live as if we have endless time. And we do not have endless time, My friends. We have a very real and limited time in this body, In this physical reality. So if we let our minds just fixate on distractions, We miss our life. So this talk is meant to turn our mind back, To call our attention, Kind of like snapping our fingers like, Hey, Hey, Over here. Your life is right here, Right now. It's not over there somewhere. It's not in some imagined future that you believe. May happen, May not happen, We don't know. But life, Your life, Is right here, Right now. Let's not miss it. Let's not postpone it. So what I want to offer you today is the question, What actually wakes a human being up? What actually wakes us up to turn our mind back to what matters? Right? Because otherwise, We just kind of groundhog day. We do the same thing day in, Day out, Because we are creatures of habit. And it feels safe to just do the same thing over and over again. There is kind of a, You know, An illusion of safety. If I do the same thing that I've always done, I'm gonna be okay. Maybe yes, Maybe no. So what actually wakes us up? What wakes us up is a little shake-up. A little shake-up, Right? To move us out of conditioned habits of mind. Following the herd, Doing the same thing over and over again. And so what I want to offer you today is I want to introduce to you what's called the four thoughts. Or you can call them the four preliminaries. And preliminaries doesn't mean that they are preliminary before you actually dive into the Dharma. No, My friends. These four preliminaries are it, Meaning they are a practice in and of themselves. A very profound practice. So these were put together as such by a man named Atisha. And he was a Buddhist monk. He traveled from India to Tibet in the 11th century. So just so you see that there's some, There's some juice to these teachings. They are time-tested. 11th century. This man Atisha wanted to emphasize kind of a structured practice. That there are stages of practicing. You know how I'm always asking you about what is your practice? What is your practice? So this in itself, This man Atisha created this to be a practice. To help practitioners shift out of complacency. Out of drifting in a world of distractions and worldly fixations. And invite their motivation towards awakening. Towards living intentionally. Which is exactly what we talk about here in our Dharma talks. So let's dive into it. Here's the first one. The first thought, Or the first preliminary, Is impermanence. Impermanence. So impermanence simply means that everything changes all the time. And why is this important? This is important because we take it for granted. We forget that everything changes. What changes? Everything. Our bodies change all the time. On a second-by-second basis we have billions of chemical reactions happening on a cellular level. Our health changes because our bodies change. Our thoughts change on a moment-by-moment basis. Our relationships change all the time. But what do we do my friends? We live as if things are stable. As if things are sturdy and solid. But this is an illusion. And actually a delusion. So this first thought is meant to kind of shake us up. Turn our mind towards reality. Towards remembering. You know how I always speak of remembering and forgetting? This is part of the remembering. If you practice waking up every day with these four thoughts as the first thing you do in the morning, It can be part of your meditation practice. These four preliminaries. And you begin with the first one which is impermanence. Contemplating, Meditating on impermanence. On how everything changes all the time. Our emotions change all the time. Nature is a beautiful example of impermanence. Nature changes all the time. The trees blossom and then the leaves die. The weather. It's sunny and then it's raining or it's snowy. Right? We are in good health one day. The next day you slept a certain way and you can't move your neck. Or your back is hurting. Or you have plantar fasciitis. Everything changes all the time my friends. This is a profound contemplation. It invites the question, What would you shift in your life if you truly knew that this moment will never come again? Ever. Because everything changes. What would shift? What would change in your life? Would you still be in the relationships you're in? Would you still be doing the work and career that you're doing? Would you reconnect with some people that maybe you cut out? Would you take care of your body in a different way if you knew that this moment will never be the same and will never come again? Actually in this moment you're at the apex of the best you've ever been. Why? Because the only time you're ever alive is in this moment. It doesn't mean that you weren't more youthful or even stronger physically when you were younger. Sure, That comes with youth. But in this moment you are literally at the apex of the best you've ever been. Because you don't exist in any other moment. You only exist in the here and now. The past doesn't exist. Only in your thoughts and memories which you can keep regurgitating and bringing back. Maybe it helps you. Maybe it creates suffering. I don't know. But when you're living in the past you're not living in this moment. You're missing this moment. If you're living in the future, Planning, Coordinating, Dreaming, Imagining this is gonna be, That's gonna be, You're missing your life. Because you're only ever alive. You got it right here and now. So if you take this deep contemplation of everything changes all the time, What would change for you? What would you do differently? These are deep, Deep contemplations my friends. They are meant to turn our mind towards what matters. They're meant to awaken us out of the conditioned autopilot where we're just driving our lives in the same way we've always been. They're meant to awaken us so that we don't miss our life and all of a sudden we wake up and it's ten years later. You know, That's how it works. Okay my friends, Let's go to the second preliminary or the second thought which is karma. The second preliminary that Atisha put together as these four thoughts that turn the mind towards what matters is based on the concept of cause and effect. And what that means is that every word, Every thought, Every action has consequences. Our actions create the next thought, Action, Behavior, Words. So we are constantly shaping our future. Constantly. So this invites radical responsibility, Right? Because if I know that I'm constantly shaping the life I'm living with my thoughts, My words, My behaviors, My actions, Then I'm going to start taking more ownership, More responsibility of my thoughts, My words, My actions. If you want to dive deeper into this, You also have the recording of the love stream I did on the four agreements and the five agreements. There actually, There's a fifth agreement. And you can see how being impeccable with our word is the first agreement. So really noticing what we're thinking and then being impeccable with how we speak it is a game-changer. Just think of a relationship you have if you speak kindly in that space. What comes from that? And think about a relationship where you've had arguments and you speak unkindly in that same space. What comes from that? So you can see that every cause has an effect. And this gives us huge agency. This gives us the ability to actually be really intentional in our lives. And so we need to remember that we are constantly, Constantly shaping our lives and shaping our futures. And that's what karma is about. So you can ask yourself, What do I practice every day? It goes back to the mind seeds, Right? The mind garden. Am I planting seeds of wholesomeness, Love, Compassion, Joy, Patience, Tolerance? Or am I planting seeds of anger, Frustration, Discontent? Because whatever it is that we plant is going to have the cause and effect dynamic. Remember my friends that these four thoughts, Four preliminaries, Are laws of this life. They're not, They're not, I'm not trying to convince you of anything. They're simply law stated. It's as if we just said gravity exists. So the first law, Impermanence, It just is. It just exists. It's not something that you agree, You don't agree, But it just is. You can fight it, You can resist it. Ah, And therein comes the suffering. When we resist or forget these four preliminaries, We suffer. So impermanence is just the way things are. Karma, Cause and effect, Is just the way things are. So you get to ask yourself, How much do I resist the way things are? How much do I live in my thoughts and in my stories and just create stories about how life should be? And I practice shooting all over myself rather than living in reality, Being aware, Waking up to the truth of this life, That everything changes all the time, And that each of our thoughts, Words, And actions have consequences and they shape our future, They shape the world we live in. So this gives us radical agency. This gives us a lot of agency in deciding, How am I going to live my life? What kind of cause and effect am I looking for? If I'm arguing with someone, I'm putting out a certain energy, And there's going to be a certain repercussion of that. If I choose to use patience, Kindness, And compassionate language, Even if I still disagree with somebody, It's okay. But being mindful of my thoughts, My words, My actions, Will have a different result. So let's go to the third preliminary, Which is the unsatisfactory nature of this life. Again, It's just another truth. Like gravity, Like the weather, They're really non-negotiables. We can't argue with impermanence. Have you ever tried to pick up water? You can't hold water, Just like we can't hold anything in this life. Have you tried to hold on to a thought? How long can you hold a thought? A second, Because in order to hold on to it, You have to keep rethinking it again and again and again. Have you tried holding on to your kids? I have five kids. It's an impossibility. So you can start seeing that when we fight these four thoughts, When we resist them, Push away these realities, We suffer, And we create suffering for others. So this third preliminary, This third thought, Relates to the unsatisfactory nature of this life. Why is this life unsatisfactory? Because everything changes all the time. And because everything is dependent on everything else. And so the second thought, The karma and the causes and effects are constantly at play. So whatever it is that we want doesn't last. Whatever gives us pleasure doesn't last. And so we try to grasp it, Right? We try to hold on to it tightly. Maybe a relationship, Maybe some food that we like, We don't want it to finish. Maybe our youth. I worked as a plastic and reconstructive surgeon and microsurgeon for over 20 years. And I saw so many people, This was my work, Coming in, Looking to preserve their physical bodies. It's a losing battle, My friends. One of the truths is that we get old, We get sick, And we die. Some of us don't get sick and just die, Which is a nice little shortcut. But we can't win over impermanence. Impermanence is always going to win. And this is why, One of the main reasons why I left the work I was doing, I realized that I can't offer you lasting well-being, Lasting happiness, Lasting joy at the tip of my scalpel. So if you're looking to preserve this body and keep it looking youthful, It's an endless, Endless battle. So you're grasping at the youthful appearance of your body, But it doesn't last. And that grasping creates tension and creates upset, Dissatisfaction. And when we're pushing away the aging process, Just to use this example, Right, That aversion, We're pushing away, We're resisting aging, That also creates suffering. So in this life, We try to grasp to what we like and we try to push away what we don't like. And at the same time, Everything is changing all the time, So we can't really grasp and we can't really push away consistently and effectively. So this is the unsatisfactoriness that I'm speaking of. It's kind of weaved into the fabric of this life. We're going to experience joy and pleasure and fun, And it's not going to last. But the good news is that also the pain and the suffering and the discontent is not going to last. A really important reminder with this third thought on the unsatisfactoriness of this life that's very important is that the suffering, The upset, The unhappiness that we experience is not occurring in the world. The world is just being the world. Life is just lifing, As we say. Life is just lifing. The weather comes, The weather goes, Emotions come, Emotions go. But what creates the suffering is right here. It's in the mind. It's how we resist change. It's how we don't take responsibility for ourselves. It's how we try to cling to pleasure and the things that we like. That's how the suffering is created. So when people say, Oh, This world is horrible, Creates so much suffering, Brings me so much suffering, I invite you to reframe that and recognize that the suffering is not out there. Life is just lifing. People die, People get sick, Children leave, Children behave how they behave. Not necessarily according to us, The parents. Life is just happening. How do I choose to show up? How am I showing up to life, Lifing? And the fourth thought. And the fourth thought ties all of these together by reminding us of the preciousness of this human birth. There's a parable in the Buddhist teachings that says that the rarity of being born a soul in a human body is as rare as if all the oceans were joined and there was one sea turtle left and you threw a lifesaver out into the ocean and the sea turtle came up for breath once every hundred years. Are you following? Once every hundred years. And the sea turtle, When it came up to breathe, All the oceans joined together. A lot of water. When it came up to breathe, It landed exactly inside of that lifesaver, Of that float. How's that for rare and unlikely, Right? That's the rarity of being conscious, Of having the gift of metacognition, To be able to think about how we think. No other being has this capacity as far as we know. I have a beautiful cat, A ginger cat. He is so present. As far as we know, My cat is not thinking about his thoughts as he's laying in a little sliver of sunshine near the window and he's just sitting there so cute. I look at him and I wonder, Huh, Is he thinking about his existence? Is he thinking about, Hmm, I hope she serves me that really delicious treat for lunch later. Can't wait for lunch later. I wonder if he's thinking, You know, I was born from a litter of ten kittens. I wonder what my brothers and sisters are doing. We are the only sentient being, As far as we know, That is capable of consciousness, Of knowing that we are. I am. I exist. Other animals are existing, But they don't have the metacognitive capacity to know they are existing. They just are. And that's why they are such beautiful teachers for us, Because they remind us to be present. So this fourth preliminary reminds us of the preciousness of this human life and that we have this opportunity to wake up. We have this opportunity to reflect on our lives. We have the opportunity to really sit with impermanence. And with impermanence, We also contemplate death. Not in a morbid way, But in a teaching way, As our teacher. Death is a beautiful teacher, Because it brings us right into presence. Don't waste one breath knowing that death will come to all of us. So these four preliminary thoughts turn our mind away from all the worldly distractions, From the busyness of making money, Achieving, Getting more accolades, Chasing some love interest, Trying to lose those extra 10 pounds. Whatever your worldly distraction is, These four thoughts are meant to shake us up a little bit and to turn our mind towards what matters. And what matters, My friends, Is your life. How do you choose to use your one wild and precious life? How do you choose to live it? It's up to you. So just to close up the talk, We can kind of summarize that these four thoughts are really liberating. They cut through our denial and our delusion. They reduce procrastination. They inspire us to practice in order to stay awake. And they also invite this tenderness, This gentle compassion towards ourselves. Because this life is not easy. Because one of the thoughts is unsatisfactoriness. There is an inherent dissatisfaction built into every experience in this life. The experiences we love are not going to last and the experiences we don't like are going to come to us. Boom. Right there. Dissatisfaction. Well, I don't want that. I want the pleasure to last and the pain to go away. But that's not reality, My friends. So we can close up this teaching by saying that the four thoughts remind us that time is short, That our actions matter, That chasing satisfaction and happiness in the worldly world, Out there, Will never fully satisfy us. Because there is built-in dissatisfaction. And lastly, We get to acknowledge the preciousness of this human life. The precious opportunity that we have to listen to the Dharma, To be here on a Dharma talk, Or if you're listening to it on the recording, Just as well. That your karma, That every moment in your life, Has brought you to this moment. Right here. You and me. All of us. This soul family. This is a lucky life, My friends. This is a deeply precious life. Not all of us have the opportunity to hear the Dharma, To hear these teachings, To create a practice for ourselves. If you are running for your survival, Just to survive, Then you don't have the lofty luxury to hear these teachings. So this is what's called a lucky life. Because you are meeting the Dharma through these Dharma talks, Through the Buddha's teachings. It gives us a blueprint for life. It gives us something to ground in. As I often mention, We need some ground, Some foundational ground, To come back to. Otherwise, We're just floating in life like a feather in the wind. Just going with the storms of emotions, The storms of thoughts that come. You know how to live like that. I used to. I used to live just in the thought stream, In the emotional stream, Just swaying and going from this way to that way. And that creates a lot of suffering for ourselves and for others. So I invite you to consider in your life, How can you engage with these four thoughts, With these four truths? Absolute truths. Absolute means like gravity, Not negotiable. Can you look into what are the spaces in my life where I really resist? Knowing that I'm going to die. Knowing that those that I love will not be here forever. Everyone we know, Everyone we love, Will die. And I don't say it to be morbid. I say it to wake us up, To turn the mind back towards focused intentionality. So that you don't miss your life. So that I don't miss my life. So I invite you to use these four thoughts in your meditation practice, If you have one. And if you don't have one, That's okay. Maybe you're a journaler. Maybe you love to journal like me. I love journaling. It's one of my journals. Love to journal and paint. So maybe you journal to these four thoughts. Maybe you use them when you wake up in the morning to simply repeat them, To keep them fresh, And to remind yourself to not go back to sleep. It's an invitation to stay awake. And for this, We need tools. And for this, We need to practice. So when you ask me, What do I practice? This is what you practice. These four thoughts, The four thoughts that turn the mind toward the dharma. They turn the mind towards what matters. They turn the mind out of getting caught up in all the worldly chaos and mess, And back to what's important. This life, Your words, Thoughts, And actions are important. And this is how we stay awake. So every morning, You can question, Is impermanence true? Is impermanence real for me? For me, I know it. I know Dr. Tammy said it's an absolute truth, But I need to check it out for myself. How does it come into play in my life? And like this, You can do these self-inquiry contemplations for each of the four thoughts. Thank you, My friends, For being here, For sharing of yourselves, For sharing your embodied presence, Which I can feel you, Whether you're writing in the chat or not, Whether you're here and you're holding space, Whether you're listening on the recording, That's fine too. This perpetuates the energy of the dharma, Of these teachings. And remember that the the teachings are not a theology. They're not dogma. They're not my way or the highway, Believe this or get out. This is not religion. This is an invitation to question. The Buddha told us, Question everything. Don't just believe it, Question it. Because when we question, We more deeply appreciate the truth for our own selves. We put it through the the mill of our own experience, And then it makes sense to us, Rather than just believing this person said this or that. So I invite you to take these four thoughts from today and really be with them. Meditate on them when you wake up. Contemplate, Are they true for me? Perhaps journal about them. Maybe have a walking meditation with them. There's so many ways that you can work with these preliminaries. And so, My friends, Let's close up our time together with a poem from Rumi, The 13th century spiritual poet, With his poem titled, The Breeze at Dawn. And you have this poem recorded on my page, So if you like it and you want to use it or you want to revisit it, You can find it on my page, Recorded. The Breeze at Dawn. The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don't go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the door sill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don't go back to sleep. So let me share the merit that whatever benefit might have come to us today, May it be shared with everyone that we encounter. And may it aid in the healing and transformation of our world. Om shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Peace in your heart. Peace in your mind. Peace in your life. Peace in our world. Thank you, My beautiful friends. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your time, For your attention. These love streams nourish each of us in our own way. They certainly nourish me to continue on my path, To continue making offerings, To continue showing up for you and showing up for myself, Showing up for my children, Showing up for everyone that I've met and everyone that I haven't met yet. So I invite you to come back, Spend this time together, And I invite you to connect. If you'd like to join our group, We have a group on Insight Timer where you can put some of your thoughts on there. It's a beautiful space to connect. And you're also welcome to connect one-on-one by sending a DM if you would like to consider a complimentary consultation where we do a little dive into your unique experience. And some of you have already taken me up on that offer. You're welcome to do that if haven't met with me yet. And you're welcome to show up here on our love streams. So I wish you love, Peace, And a conscious, Awakened life. Thank you, Everyone. I appreciate you. See you next time. And remember, Don't go back to sleep. Bye for now.