Making Peace With My Past Self

This meditation explores the tender act of making peace with every version of yourself that has led you to this moment, recognising that both your past courage and your present self are essential parts of a continuous, beautiful becoming.

A poignant internal dialogue between the present and past self. What begins as a confrontation filled with doubt and estrangement slowly transforms into a moment of profound reconciliation and gratitude.

Transcript

Who are you?

Do I know you anymore?

Why could things not go the way it used to be?

Looking in the mirror,

I can barely recognize you.

I only knew a version of you,

One of the past,

One that didn't last.

I only knew a version of you,

One that made me,

One that blames me.

Don't you?

I only knew a version of you,

One with courage,

The one that survived.

I only knew a version of you,

Disappointed,

Surely,

Of this divide.

I only knew a version where wounds stayed open,

Yet you wouldn't see them.

I only knew a version of you,

One I hide behind when doubts arise,

Facing something new.

I only knew a version of you,

One for whom I was never enough.

And there was a reason,

Because oh gosh,

You were so tough.

I only knew a version with an armor,

The stress and anxiety hidden behind the glamour.

I only knew a version that was harsh sometimes,

But who had no choice but to do what was best at the time with what we had.

I only knew.

.

.

Wait,

Who are you?

Who are you indeed,

To put words in my mouth that never even crossed my mind?

I know who you are,

I know who you became.

You're scared,

As we don't know yet who we will be.

But in you I believe,

Trust,

Without shame you shall see.

Your doubting is normal,

We only know what we know.

But in you is the strength and resilience to figure that out.

I made you,

You're right,

And I'm proud of you.

You're the lessons I have learned,

And the mistakes I'll never make again.

You're the reason we're still standing here,

In order to get there.

You're the evolution of something beautiful,

Life,

That happened and shall continue.

You're the pride of my joys,

The soothing of my sadness.

You're the hopes I've worked to build,

And I beg you to not lean on the emptiness.

You're the smiles to my sorrows,

The movement to my stillness,

The dare to my hesitation,

You're the light to my darkness.

Please believe me that nothing can stop us,

As long as you let me be where I was,

As long as you allow yourself to be where you are,

And as long as we are ready to accept every step of this journey to become.