Reclaiming Power From The Outer God - Awakening The I Am

A deep, slow meditation for those who were taught to fear a God outside themselves.

This journey guides you to feel the stored fear in the body, breathe through it, and gently return the power you once gave away — to churches, to authority, to a distant God — back to the “I Am” presence within.

Through awareness, breath, and compassion, the fear of punishment dissolves into peace, and the true Source is felt inside your own being.

Use when: old religious fear surfaces, when you feel powerless before life, or when you’re ready to reclaim your own divine authority.

Transcript

I feel uninspired and I'm not interested in living I don't want to live and I want to get clarity into why and how it happened when I experienced that and store that as a traumatic stuck energy because I cannot move like I'm so uninspired I can just lie down and this this is coming out this feeling and frozen energy and I want to release it and I also want to feel it fully so I release it so can we go fully into clarity and questioning what's going on okay let's go in no escape no fixing no shoot only truth that voice that says I don't want to leave is not suicidal it is truth distorted by exhaustion it is the voice of life itself that got twisted when we agreed to live for others or against pressure or inside a world that does not feel like home so it began whispering if this is what living means constant proving enduring holding then I do not want it do you feel that that voice isn't saying I want to die it's saying I want to stop existing in falseness let's trace it like take a breath into the belly slow let the body speak first so where does the heaviness gather where is that part that says ask but where is that part that says I can't move name the exact place let it throb ache pull don't lift it let it show you its origin I feel it in the solar plexus good stay with that don't try to change it just let it be exactly as it is how does it feel in your solar plexus heavy tight empty burning frozen or something else describe the texture of it in your own words it feels as frozen and empty good you are feeling it directly that's the doorway stay with the frozen emptiness a little longer no rush to warm it no need to feel it just be the one who can stay present with it now tell me when you sense that frozen emptiness is there image memory or feeling tone that comes with it maybe certain age or place a moment or just a vague atmosphere that your body remembers I think it comes from total frustration and total powerlessness around idea I don't want to live this way like nothing is changing nothing is moving like life is the same and I don't like it perhaps from my childhood good that's clear you can let that truth sit between us for a moment total frustration powerlessness the sense that life isn't moving that it keeps showing you the same face say stay with the feeling instead of the story for a few breath let the solar plexus be the speaker not the mind now as you hold the powerless feeling what do you notice underneath it if you go one layer deeper is it anger grief exhaustion disbelief or something else waiting beneath I think it is rather the idea that I can't anything that it's not in my hands yes that's the core belief showing itself stay with that thought it's not in my hands let your body feel that what happens when you think it where do you sense it in the body now does it stay in the solar plexus or move somewhere else and if you listen closely to that part that believes it's not in control what does it wish someone would do for it or say to it I feel the pain in my womb and that part believes that I must wait for the God to make miracles or do something for me good you are listening deeply that's the part that has carried a long waiting the one that believe power somewhere outside let's meet her gently you can place one hand over your womb if it feels right take a slow breath there don't try to fix just make space for her to exist now ask her softly inside your mind when did you start waiting for God to do it for you what comes first a memory age or a simple feeling hmm the answer she told me is since they told her in the school or in the church or my mom told her she was able to understand in the time when she was able to understand she wanted to be a good girl you know so they told her she needs to wait for God to decide for God to give it to her that she must wait for God to decide hmm that makes complete sense she learned very early that goodness meant waiting obeying being patient not claiming that conditioning sank straight into the womb that creative center so it throws her power stay with her now let her know you are not here to scold or fix her just whisper inside I see you you did what you were taught you try to be good girl notice what happens in your body when you say that does anything shift even slightly warmth tears breath or stillness can I ask you how's that part awakened because I was doing yesterday subconscious record I was stating for myself I am powerful I am power I am powerful it sounds as if that subconscious record stirred the same layer that you are feeling now when you affirm power the part that once gave me the way will often rise to the surface it's not a mistake or regression it's that the buried piece finally fell the vibration of power and said what about me I was told to wait you can look at this edit this way the subconscious record called up the old imprint so it could be seen the body answered with frozen emptiness because that's where the old agreement lives and now through presence you're updating that agreement if you would like we can help that part feel what power actually means without the old church or a good girl rules around it would you like to continue in the direction that part of the girl that girl she really strongly believes that she must wait that she cannot create reality that it's God who creates and that she must wait that belief goes deep it's one many people pick up when they are very young it gave her a sense of safety and belonging at that time she thought if I wait if I am obedient I will be loved and protected so of course she held on to it let's stay gentle and curious with her you can keep a hand over your womb if it helps ask her quietly when you think it's God who decides and I must wait what do you hope God will finally give you let her answer in her own words maybe a feeling maybe a picture what does she say hmm now my time has passed and the thought comes I am afraid of God too so she's afraid of man she's afraid of God she's very very afraid that sounds like a very old very tender place you can let that fear be heard instead of trying to quiet it she's showing you how alone and unprotected she has felt place both hands over your lower belly and take a slow breath into that space don't try to change the fear just breathe around it then inside yourself you might say to her you don't have to face God or man alone anymore you don't have to face God or man alone anymore you don't have to face God or man alone anymore I am here with you now I am here with you now I am here with you now let her feel that someone you is finally present if you like tell me what you notice in your body after you say that does anything change even slightly oh my god she started to cry because she was so afraid of God and man and she felt like she must face one of them she like she must face at least God and please him and it was so scary that it was so scary that please man and be weak and and face man and she didn't want to do any of it so when I told her you don't have to face God or man alone anymore I am here with you now she felt so much relief that she started to cry that's a very natural release when the young part finally feels someone safe beside her the body often cries it's how the frozen energy starts to move again let her cry don't comfort her with words just breathe and let the body rock or sigh if it wants to she's discovering that she's not alone that she doesn't have to stand before any power to earn life or love after a few breaths you can say to her you don't have to please anyone now you don't have to be good or small you are safe to rest and when you are ready we will move together take another minute to simply feel her softening what's happening in your solar plexus or your womb as she cries has the sensation change in any way there is only that fear of God in the thymus that's good awareness you can feel exactly where the fear leaves let's approach it carefully so it doesn't close up again bring your attention to the space in the center of your chest where the time asides let your hand rest there and take a small quiet breath into that spot no need to force air just allow it to reach that area say to yourself silently I feel your fear you are allowed to be here for now often the fear of God is really the fear of punishment of being wrong of being too much or too little it's a very young protective energy ask this fear gently what are you afraid God will do if you stop being good and simply exist as you are let the first answer come without thinking just whatever the body or the fear whispers what does it say because I I hate and I don't like this type of God which I am told about in the church I don't like it because it feels like my father who is unpredictable who is angry all the time who punishes and I don't know when and why who just has tantrums all the time ah yes now the picture becomes clear the fear is not really of God it's the echo of your father in the image of God that the church taught you that the young part learned I must survive by being small perfect careful obedient or I will be punished so she projected your father onto God and the fear doubled breathe into that recognition say gently to the fear in your time as I see you you're afraid of this image you are not afraid of me or of life you're afraid of the father you weren't shown as God let the body feel that distinction can you feel the separation between the image of God and the truth of life starting to open what does your body notice as you hold that thought always when someone mentions the word God nowadays whether it is from spiritual point of view or religious point of view it doesn't matter if someone mentions consciousness or I am as God that image is so strong that image I just described is so strong that I'm just in fear of that God and fear that I depend on it and it is very unpredictable and I feel very vulnerable and lost that reaction makes perfect sense your body learn early that God meant danger and predictability and loss of control so the word itself now triggers the old surviving and survival alarm let's work with the reaction instead of the concept first notice the body first when you hear God where does the fear start does it tighten your chest your stomach your throat just name the first place that contracts second stay with sensation not story breathe into that spot and let the breath spread a little around the aim isn't to push the fear away it's to show the nervous system that a threat is over third update the association you might quietly repeat something like that version of God was human fear wearing holy clothes right now I am safe the body can rest fourth let the mind separate symbol from reality the word God was once tied to punishment now it's only a sound you can decide later what and if anything it means for you for the moment the work is to let the body know it's not being punished anymore and it's safe if you would like we can continue this in short steps I'll ask one question at a time and so you can feel an answer from the body would you like to keep going in that way can you guide me through the breathing exercise to release the fear around God because I still fear the fear around the God it's like I put it on pedestal it's outside of me there are it's now he's ruling my world or ruining my life oh let's okay let's do something that works directly with that body with your body with what your body is doing right now a grounding and breathing sequence that helps your nervous system settle when fears of God feeling arises it is about believing or not believing anything it's about helping your body remember that you are safe right now so see to lie down somewhere where your back feels supported let your feet or your back touch something solid floor bed wall notice the weight of your body and you are here supported by gravity start breathing through your nose if you can inhale slowly for a count of four pause for one and exhale gently for six keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale so inhale for four pause for one and exhale for six do it few more times inhale for four pause for one exhale for six quietly say inside the body feels fear when it hears the word God that sentence lets the fear know it's being noticed it doesn't have to shout feel where that fear lives right now maybe the chest stomach or throat rest one hand there don't try to push the feeling away imagine you are giving it space to breathe on each inhale imagine cool air moving around the fear not into it like wind around the rock wind around the rock on the exhale let the air carry away a little of the tightness do this for about ten breath and whisper to yourself slowly with the breath that image of power outside of me was land right now in this breath I am safe life is happening here in me that image of power outside of me I was learned outside of me was land right now in this breath I am say life is happening here in me that image of power outside of me was learned right now in this breath I am safe life is happening here in me feel your hands your feet the surface under your under you know this small ordinary details the air temperature the texture of your clothes each detail is a reminder that this moment is real and safe if you practice this whenever the fear rises your nervous system will begin to unpair the feeling of danger from the world or idea later if you wish you can redefine God in your own language or simply stay with life awareness or I am