Shadow Work: When You Became Small To Stay Safe

At some point, you learned that making yourself smaller kept things easier, less conflict, and less risk. Being black man this hits home for me as i done this most of my life.

What an amazing strategy, done all unconsciously (a round of applause for the human body), made sense once. This practice helps you see where you're still using it, long after the situation that required it has passed.

Shadow Work isn't something to take lightly. Please set aside 20 minutes and/or visit this meditation in parts, allowing you to build a routine of asking the questions in this meditation.

#menswork
#shadowwork
#selfsilencing

Transcript

I hope this meditation brings some grounding and light into your day. As always, I'm always here for your being and becoming. Now let's begin this meditation. At some point, You learn to make yourself smaller. Maybe you stop saying certain things. Stop taking up certain space. Stop wanting things out loud. And it worked. Things got easier. Safer. Less friction. The problem is, You kept doing it, Long after the thing you were protecting yourself from was gone. That's what we're sitting with today. Let's start in the body. Find a position where you feel supported. Feet on the floor, Back against the chair if you need it. Take a slow breath in through your nose, Let it travel all the way down. And release it completely. Notice if there's any tightness in your chest, Your throat, Your shoulders. You don't need to change it right now, Just notice it's there. One more breath in. Slow. And out. All the way. Let your body settle. You're not in danger here. Think about a recent moment where you held something back. Something you wanted to say and didn't. A boundary you wanted to hold. And let go. A want or a need you kept to yourself. Just pick one. It doesn't have to be dramatic. What did that feel like in your body? In the moment you made yourself smaller. Stay with that feeling. There's probably something familiar about it. Like a reflex you didn't consciously choose. That reflex didn't come from nowhere. At some point. Making yourself smaller was the right move. It kept things stable. It kept people calm. It kept you safe from something. Maybe it was conflict at home. A parent whose mood you learn to manage. A classroom where being too much got you shut down. A relationship where taking up space costs you something. The contraction was intelligent. It made sense then. But where in your life now are you still making yourself small? In a situation that no longer needs it. Let that question sit. Don't force an answer. What might it cost you to keep doing that? You don't have to decide anything right now. But here's something worth sitting with. The contraction was never about who you are. It was a strategy, An adaptation. Something you learn to do, Which means it's something you can choose differently. Not all at once, Just one moment at a time. One small act of taking up a little more space than you usually allow yourself. That's what expansion actually looks like. Not grand gestures, Just not shrinking when you don't have to. One final breath in. And out, Slow and full. Feel the ground beneath you again. Feel the space you're already taking up just by being here. That space is yours. It always was. Take your time coming back. And remember this is deep work. If you feel called, Reach out. I'd be honoured to witness your being and becoming.

Reviews

That was wonderfully helpful, thank you. I feel I'm walking a little taller after this