Welcome,
Brave one,
To this Inner Child Healing Meditation.
I'm so happy that you took this time for self-care.
Before we start our meditation,
I will briefly outline some concepts from psychology and psychotherapy,
Just to further your understanding of what we will be doing and what the purpose is.
The basis for this meditation lies in internal family systems therapy,
Which I will explain before we move into this practice.
Please be aware that this practice is not a substitute for psychotherapy,
And that it is merely a tool to help you discover new paths towards healing.
Let's start with a brief overview of psychotherapeutic concepts.
First,
Coping strategies are standardized ways for us to deal with pain,
Stress and difficult emotions or events.
In a way,
Listening to this meditation can be the start of a coping mechanism.
Coping in response to stress can be categorized into three broad categories.
First,
Voluntary mobilizing of social support,
Like alerting friends,
Family or professional help.
Second,
Voluntary strategies,
Like for example listening to this meditation.
And third,
Involuntary strategies,
Like for example a fever as a response to fighting of an illness,
Or working harder as a response to failure.
These last category are sometimes referred to as defenses or defense mechanisms,
And they are an adaptive response to stressful events throughout our life.
Defense mechanisms are in essence there to help you,
Especially in the short term,
Like for example a fever.
But they can in the long term have harmful effects or turn out to be no longer useful or no longer needed.
We all develop defense mechanisms during our life.
And although some defenses are more harmful than others,
Their number one purpose is to calm you down and to protect your most vulnerable parts that were once hurt.
There is a wide variety of defenses.
Some of us may have humor as a defense,
Whereas others engage in more self-harming behaviors,
Ranging from overworking,
To collecting things,
To over criticizing,
Or to physical harm.
If you are aware that your defense mechanisms may be self-harming,
Please reach out to a professional to help you towards more conscious,
Voluntary coping mechanisms.
This meditation is created to help you in the process of replacing old defense mechanisms that you would like to let go of,
With new empowering and nurturing coping strategies.
Welcome to this session,
Brave one.
It takes guts to sit down and face your fears and be completely honest and transparent with yourself.
I once had a coaching client who upon me explaining the defense mechanism said,
Oh,
I understand it.
We need to destroy this guy.
I think that is a beautiful example of how we all feel in the beginning,
When we have to confront our so-called dark sides or defenses or the parts of us that we would rather ignore or be blind to,
Or maybe even cut out.
And I would really like you to be aware that the purpose of this meditation is not to destroy your defense mechanisms,
But to recognize them,
See them,
Hear them,
Acknowledge them and accept them.
Because as Carl Rogers,
The founding father of humanism,
Once said,
The curious paradox is that in order to change,
We need to first fully accept ourselves just the way we are.
According to internal family systems theory that was developed by Richard Swart,
Those parts that are called protectors are more than just patterns of behavior.
These parts of you are complex characters that have their own sets of words,
Emotions and behaviors.
Let me give you an example.
Two of the parts that defended me in a very stressful childhood were the rebel and the drill sergeant.
The rebel has the tendency to act out in a variety of ways and chase feelings of joy,
Confidence,
Autonomy in order to deal with pain and stress.
The drill sergeant has the tendency to push harder,
Be critical,
Work without breaks,
Be perfect,
In order to deal with the fear of failure.
Both of these parts serve me in the past and they serve a purpose in the short term.
They temporarily make me feel more in control.
They protect other parts of me.
A part that never feels good enough.
And a part that feels hopeless and stuck.
The part that feels like a failure is protected by the drill sergeant who wants to make sure that this part never has to feel like that again.
The part that rebels protects a part of me that was once controlled and abused.
And it rebels to any form of control and tries to escape pain by engaging in impulsive behaviors.
In IFS the parts that are protected are called exiles.
Exiles are vulnerable parts of you that were once hurt.
The purpose of today's practice is to identify your protectors or defense mechanisms,
However you would like to call them.
Get to know them better and see if they would feel okay with stepping back and allowing you to connect to your exiles.
To those hidden parts who are often quite young.
When our protectors can step back we can see and hold the vulnerable parts of us and start to heal our inner child.
Before we begin it is important to know that this meditation may bring up intense or painful memories.
Please feel free to stop at any moment,
Consult a friend or reach out to a professional if what you encounter in this session feels too overwhelming for you.
If it feels okay for you,
You can close your eyes,
Knowing that it is also very okay to keep them open if that feels better for you.
And that you can open them at any moment to reconnect with the room that you are in if you are overwhelmed.
Take a slow and steady breath in.
Hold it at the top.
Breathe in a little bit more.
Open your mouth and release.
Take a long and steady breath in.
Hold a little more and release.
Allowing your body to soften,
Open.
And notice if perhaps you feel that a part of you does not want you to go further.
Checking whether there is a part of you that wants to defend or protect something or someone.
And perhaps you can ask this part what it is afraid of.
Ask it what or whom it is protecting.
Listen to this part without judgment.
See if you can open to this part.
Acknowledge its feelings and its motivation to protect a part of you that is so vulnerable.
Let this part know that you are here to listen.
Let it tell you all that it is afraid of.
Perhaps you would even like to give this part of you a name so it becomes easier for you to connect with it,
Recognize it,
Give it your mindful attention.
I have called one of my parts the rebel.
I've had clients refer to their parts as M&M or Scarface.
You can pick a character from a movie,
Just see what comes up for you that really describes this character.
Now when you've named this part of you and really listened to it,
Then acknowledge its feelings.
And if you're aware who this part is protecting,
Ask your part if it is okay for you to visit this vulnerable inner child inside you.
If it trusts you enough to sit back and let this process unfold.
And if it says no,
Please feel free to try this meditation another time.
There is no pressure here.
We only open when we are ready for it.
If it says no,
You can also ask this part what it needs you to know and be aware of before you go and visit the inner child.
Listen and acknowledge its concerns.
Tell it that it can trust you and ask it again,
Is it okay to step back and allow me to connect to that inner child?
And if it says yes,
You can search inside for your inner child,
That part of you that needs to be protected.
And when you look for that child,
Where do you find it?
What does this space look like?
Take a moment to see,
Smell,
Hear and feel this space.
At any moment you'd like to get out of this space,
You can open your eyes and see,
Smell,
Hear and feel the space you're sitting in.
But if you feel able to stay there and tune into this child,
See if you can be open and welcoming to whatever comes.
Come sit with him or her,
Ask it how it feels.
Let her know that it is completely okay for her to feel this way.
That you are here for her,
To listen,
To support,
To help and stand up for her.
Let this child know that it is not alone,
That you are here,
That you care.
Ask him what he would really need from you in this moment.
Just see what comes up.
Offer him all that he needs.
Support him,
Hug him,
Love him,
Whatever he asks.
Let her know that whenever she needs you again,
All she has to do is call upon you and you will be by her side.
Take her hand and ask her where she would really love to go.
Ask your other part,
The part that was trying to protect this child,
Whether it would like to join in this place.
Hold hands and together walk into this new mind space.
A space where you can be with all parts of you.
The most vulnerable and the most protective.
And feel whole together.
You can stay here for as long as you want.
And when you are ready,
You can slowly open your eyes.
I hope with this meditation you have experienced that you can be the one you've always been waiting for.
You are capable of self-love,
Self-caring,
Compassion,
Confidence and leading your anxious and sad and hurt and angry parts towards a place of peace and unity where they don't have to feel so lonely and isolated.
Thank you for sharing your practice today and trusting me with your mind and body.
Namaste.
