Rewire Shame | Tapping for Nervous System Regulation

Have you ever felt like something is just fundamentally wrong with you, not something you did, but something you are?
That's shame. And it doesn't travel alone. It moves in three layers: the fear of being truly seen and exposed, the deep identity wound that says I am the mistake, and the crushing isolation of believing no one else could possibly carry something this heavy.
This tapping session moves through all three layers slowly and with care without rushing you toward forced positivity or leaps your body isn't ready to make. The landing place is simply this: there is more to you than this feeling. The cage door is open. You don't have to walk out yet. But it is open.
Part of The Rewire: From Survival Mode to Self-Trust series.

Transcript

Hello beautiful souls. Today we're gonna go somewhere tender and before we get started I want to tell you I'm really glad you're here because coming into this topic takes guts. Today we're gonna be working with shame not guilt. Guilt says I did something bad where shame says I am someone bad and that distinction matters because shame does not live on the surface. Shame goes deep and it starts weaving itself into the story that we tell ourself about who we are. Now before we continue forward I just want to put out one caveat. Oftentimes people come to videos like these and they feel like they should resolve the issue in one session but we're working with compound emotions and with a compound emotion like shame it's going to take a few rounds for this to start sinking in. So I want you to give yourself permission that if this is your first time tapping through the compound emotion of shame that what you're really doing is bringing yourself to awareness to understanding the layers that create shame and as we understand each of the layers we can start understanding how we are interpreting each of those layers and every time you come back and you tap through it you start to break it apart even more. So let's get in to what each of those layers are. Shame is made up of three major layers. The first is the fear of exposure the fear of being truly seen that you've been concealing and hiding something under a mask for so long that there's a terror that if someone actually saw past the mask if they saw the real you and what you've been carrying that these people might leave you. The second is the fear of defectiveness not that you made a mistake but that something is fundamentally wrong with you and that you are the mistake. Some of us have been carrying that feeling with us for a long time so we're gonna honor that feeling before we ask ourself to do anything with it. We just need to acknowledge that it's there. The third fear is isolation that quiet crushing belief that this means you are absolutely alone that no one is carrying anything quite as dark or as heavy as you have and so you really fear that you're the only one who knows this pain and no one could relate to you at that level making you absolutely alone. Today is not about rushing to fix a problem rather we're going to sit with it and allow ourself to see the layers that we may have never allowed ourself to see before. So before we go into the tapping let's start by taking a deep breath in through the nose hold it at the top and now a long slow exhale through pursed lips like you're blowing through a straw all the way out to the end of your breath. Let's start by tapping on the side of our hand can be either hand and we're gently tapping here and we're going to start with some grounding statements. Even though I am carrying this shame I am willing to be gentle with myself right now. Even though I have lived with the shame for a long time I am open to the possibility that there is more to my story than this. Even though I believe I am alone in this I am willing to be open to the idea that this may not be the whole story. The first layer of shame is the fear of being seen and not seen in the good way but the fear of being seen through that thing that you've been hiding that you've been working so hard to conceal and keep it out of view. The mask we wear and the mask is starting to feel heavy. We both know that so let's acknowledge how long you've been wearing it. We're going to start by tapping at the eyebrow point so it's the inside of the eyebrow on either side you can tap one or both hands. Here we say, There's something I've been hiding. Side of the eye, Something I'm afraid for people to see. Under the eye, I've been working so hard to keep this concealed. Under the nose, This mask is exhausting. I'm so tired of wearing it. On the chin, Part of me is terrified if they really saw me they would leave. Collarbone, So I stay hidden. I stay small. I stay behind the version of me that feels safe. Under the arm, The fear makes sense. It's been keeping me protected. Top of the head, I don't have to take the mask all the way off today. I just need to acknowledge it's there. This next layer is the one that goes the deepest. It's not about what you did, It's about what you decided that meant about who you are. Somewhere along the way, A story got written. Not that you made a mistake, But that you are the mistake. That something about you is fundamentally broken or wrong or less than and some of you have been carrying that story around with you ever since you were young. Today, We're not going to argue with it. Instead, We're going to acknowledge that feeling is there and be with it. So let's go back to the eyebrow point. I have believed for a long time now that something is wrong with me. Side of the eye, Not just that I did something wrong, But that I am wrong. Under the eye, This belief has been with me for so long. It's so old that it feels like the truth. Under the nose, I have built so much of my life around trying to hide this, Fix it, Or outrun it. Chin, And I'm tired. I'm so tired of carrying it. Collarbone, I'm not going to ask myself to stop believing this today. I just want to feel how heavy it is. Under the arm, This belief took root somewhere. It doesn't mean it's true. It just means it's old. Top of the head, There might be more to this story. I don't have to believe that yet. I just have to let it be possible. And then there's the loneliness of it, That belief that no one could possibly understand what you are going through because what you've experienced is too dark, Too heavy, And too specific for anyone else to have possibly known, Making you feel fundamentally alone with it. And I want to sit with you in this because it's very real and it deserves to be named. Then, I want you to consider what if that isn't the whole story? So let's return to the eyebrow point. I feel completely alone in this. Side of the eye, Like no one could possibly understand what I carry. Under the eye, Like if I told the truth that I would only confirm what I already fear, That I'm too much. Under the nose, This loneliness is one of the heaviest parts. Chin, And yet shame is one of the most human experiences there is. Colorbone, What if other people are sitting in this exact feeling right now, Believing the same thing? Under the arm, What if I'm not as alone as the shame wants me to believe? Top of the head, I don't have to walk all the way out of this today. I just need to see that the door is open. All right, Take a deep breath in through the nose, Hold at the top, And let it go. I just want you to notice how you feel right now. Not analyze it, But just notice. You did something right now that takes real courage. You sat with the shame, The exposure, The defectiveness, The isolation, And you didn't perform, And you didn't run away. You sat in it, And just let it be seen here with me. And I want to leave you with this. Shame gets its power from the story that this is the whole truth of who you are, That there is nothing more to you, This is it, This is the final word. It isn't. You are not the heaviest thing you carry, You are the one carrying it, And those are not the same thing. You don't have to love yourself all the way today, Though I do wish that for you. You don't need to be healed or transformed or fixed by this one session. All I'm asking you to leave with is this, You are more than this feeling tells you. The cage door is open. You don't have to walk through it yet, Just know that it's open. This session has been part of the rewire from survival mode to self-trust, And this one takes guts, And you showed up for that. I am so proud of you, And I want you to know, And I mean this with my heart, You are magical, And you've got this.