When Your Body Keeps The Score: Healing For Chronic Pain

If your body has been hurting in ways that medicine can't fully explain — if you've wondered whether there's a deeper story your symptoms are trying to tell — this meditation talk is for you.

Living with chronic pain, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, or autoimmune conditions can feel isolating. The exhaustion of invisible illness. The frustration of "normal" test results. The quiet grief of watching your life reshape around symptoms that seem to have a mind of their own.
In this somatic healing talk, we explore the profound connection between your nervous system, unprocessed trauma, and physical symptoms.

Not to blame you for your condition — never that — but to offer a different lens through which to understand your body's wisdom. You'll learn why "pushing through" often backfires, how autonomic dysregulation works, and what it means to gently befriend a body that feels like it's betraying you.

Transcript

So welcome everyone and thank you.

Thank you for listening.

So before we go anywhere I want to acknowledge something.

If you found your way to this episode,

If you've typed something like chronic pain or why my body won't heal or is my autoimmune condition connected to trauma,

I want you to know I see you.

I see the exhaustion,

The frustration of being told your labs are normal when you feel anything but normal.

The loneliness of pain that nobody else can see.

The quiet grief of watching your life shrink around symptoms that seem to have a mind of their own.

Maybe you've been to countless specialists.

Maybe you have tried elimination diets,

Supplements,

Medications that may have helped a little bit or not at all.

Maybe you've had well-meaning people tell you that it's just stress.

As if stress were a small thing.

As if your body was being dramatic.

Or maybe you've stumbled across the idea that trauma might be connected to what's happening in your body and a part of you felt a strange relief.

That finally someone is seeing the whole picture while another part felt a creeping dread.

Oh God,

Does this mean I have to dig up everything from my past?

Now here's what I want you to know right from the start.

You don't have to dig up anything today.

You don't have to go anywhere.

Your system isn't ready to go.

And this process is not about forcing and opening old wounds.

It's about understanding gently,

Compassionately,

What your body might be trying to communicate through these symptoms.

And more importantly,

It's about learning that you are not broken.

Your body is not betraying you and something much more intelligent is happening.

So let's begin.

Now here's the thing about chronic pain and autoimmune conditions that most medical appointments don't have the time to explore.

Your body is not just a machine that sometimes malfunctions.

Your body is a living record of everything you've experienced.

Every moment of safety.

Every moment of threat.

Every time you were held and every time you were left alone when you needed someone.

Every adaptation you made to survive.

Now I know that might sound a bit.

.

.

I'm an integrative therapist and I'm not a medical doctor.

So I always encourage people to work with their health care providers.

But here's the beautiful thing.

The science is actually catching up to what ancient traditions have known for centuries.

Now as an example,

In 2025 there was a research published in the journal Nature and it found that epigenetic markers,

Which is changes in how genes are expressed,

Across three generations of refugee families and the trauma wasn't just psychological.

It was literally changing the biology of children and grandchildren who hadn't even been born during the original events.

So what does this mean for you?

It means your nervous system didn't just start fresh when you were born.

It came pre-loaded with survival information from your family line also.

Add to that your own early experiences.

The first few years when your brain and nervous system were being sculpted by your environment and you've now got a body that learned certain patterns long before your mind had any say in the matter.

Now before we go further,

I want to be clear about something.

When I talk about connection between trauma and physical symptoms,

I am absolutely not saying that your pain is all in your head and I'm not saying you're making it up.

I'm not saying that if you just thought positively or released your trauma,

Your symptoms would magically disappear.

That kind of thinking is actually harmful and I want no part of it.

What I'm saying is that your nervous system is real,

Physical thing.

The inflammation in your body is real and the pain signals are also real and all of these systems are influenced by your life experiences,

By your sense of safety and yes,

Unprocessed trauma.

So the buzzword or the buzzphrase the body keeps the score is not just poetic,

It's also literal.

Now let's talk about some conditions that seem to have this mysterious connection to the nervous system and I want to be careful here.

I'm going to mention some diagnosis but please know that I'm not diagnosing anyone.

I am not a medical professional and I'm not suggesting that everyone with these conditions has the same underlying pattern but it's just something worth listening to and exploring.

So conditions like chronic fatigue syndrome or irritable bowel syndrome or chronic migraines,

Certain autoimmune conditions,

What many of these have in common is something called autonomic dysregulation.

Now let me break down this word for you very simply because it sounds very clinical.

So your autonomic nervous system has two main branches.

One of them is the sympathetic system which is your flight or fight response and the other one is the parasympathetic system.

That's your rest and digest mode or in simple words your ability to calm down and recover.

So in a well-regulated system these two work together like a beautiful dance.

You get activated when there's a challenge,

You deal with it and then your body naturally settles back into a calm baseline neutral state.

But here's what happens when someone when there's been chronic stress,

Early trauma or an ongoing threat in someone's life.

Their system gets stuck.

Now maybe it gets stuck in chronic activation,

Always scanning for danger,

Always producing stress hormones,

Never fully resting and that looks like anxiety,

Hypervigilance,

Insomnia,

Inflammation,

Muscle tension and other things.

Or maybe it gets stuck in chronic shutdown which is the freeze response,

The collapse or the I can't do this anymore of the dorsal vagal system.

That looks like fatigue,

Brain fog,

Numbness,

Dissociation,

Depression,

Feeling of being trapped under a heavy blanket.

So often people slip between the two.

Wired but tired at the same time.

I'm super exhausted but I can't sleep.

Moments of panic followed by complete collapse.

Now here is what I find fascinating.

What if these symptoms are not a malfunction?

What if these symptoms are actually your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do?

Protect you.

But it's just doing it without dated information.

So your body is not stupid,

Your body is not betraying you.

It learned at some point,

Maybe before you could even form conscious memories,

That the world wasn't safe and now it's been working overtime to keep you alive.

The pain is real,

The fatigue is real,

The immune system confusion is also real.

But underneath all this,

There's a nervous system that never got the memo that the original threat is over.

It's like having a smoke alarm that goes off every time you make toast and the alarm isn't broken,

It's actually doing its job brilliantly.

It just needs to be recalibrated to understand that making toast is not a house fire.

Now if you've been dealing with chronic pain or an autoimmune condition for any length of time,

You've probably been told by doctors,

By well-meaning friends,

By tiktokers or maybe even by the harsh voice in your own head,

That you should push through,

Exercise more,

Think positive,

Don't let it win.

And from my own experience,

I just want to say something that might sound counterintuitive.

Pushing through is often exactly the wrong approach.

And here is why.

Your nervous system is convinced that it's under threat.

When you override its signals,

When you ignore the pain,

Push past the fatigue,

Force yourself through,

You are essentially confirming to your body that you are in a hostile environment,

Where survival now requires ignoring your own needs.

And what does a nervous system do when it believes survival is at stake?

It's going to double down on the protection.

More inflammation,

More pain signals,

More fatigue,

More immune confusion.

It's like you're pushing it in a corner and it has no choice but to protect you.

So this is why so many people with these conditions experience what's called a push-crash cycle.

They have a great day at work,

They do all the things they've been missing and then they are flattened for a week.

Not because they are weak,

Because their nervous system is trying to protect them the only way it knows how.

So what does actually help?

So in somatic work,

We don't try to force the body to change.

We don't override it and we don't treat it like an enemy to be conquered.

Instead,

We listen to it.

I know this might be frustratingly simple,

But after years of working with people whose bodies have been dismissed,

Ignored and fought against,

Often by the very people living in them,

I can tell you that being listened to is one of the most healing things that a nervous system can experience.

When you slow down enough to actually feel what's happening in the body,

Without judgment,

Without trying to fix it,

Without the agenda of making it go away,

Something remarkable starts to happen.

Your nervous system starts to feel seen.

And when a nervous system feels seen,

When it senses that someone is finally paying attention,

That its signals are being received,

It doesn't have to shout so loud anymore.

Think of it like a child who's been trying to get your attention.

If you keep ignoring the child,

They will escalate.

They get louder,

More dramatic,

More impossible to ignore.

But if you stop,

Get down to their level and really listen,

They often calm right down.

The message was received and the alarm can quiet now.

Now this doesn't mean that your symptoms will vanish overnight.

Healing is rarely that simple.

And honestly,

Anyone who promises you instant cures is probably selling you something.

But it does mean that something shifts in the relationship between you and your body.

Instead of adversaries,

You become allies.

Instead of fighting a war you can't win,

You start a conversation.

And you finally realize that with enough willpower your conscious mind cannot and will not override your subconscious mind,

No matter how hard you try.

Now,

One of the key principles in somatic work is something called titration.

It's a chemistry term actually.

It means adding a substance drop by drop rather than all at once.

And in trauma healing,

Titration means we don't dive into the deep end.

We don't flood the system with more than it can handle.

We work with the edges,

Gently,

One small piece at a time.

So for someone with chronic pain or an autoimmune condition,

This might mean that you're not trying to release all your trauma in one session.

Instead of pushing through the pain,

You are noticing when you're approaching your edge and honoring that limit.

Finding small moments of ease and comfort in your body,

What we call resources,

And then learning to anchor there.

Then you allow your system to pendulate,

To move between an activation and calm.

And then gradually,

Slowly,

You expand your capacity.

Now,

I sometimes joke with my clients that in a culture obsessed with breakthroughs and transformation,

Healing can be boring.

We are not looking for any dramatic releases.

We are looking for slightly better than yesterday.

A little bit more capacity to hold your pain.

I noticed I could take a slightly deeper breath.

Works.

But these tiny shifts,

They add up.

They create new neural pathways.

They teach your nervous system that it's very safe to relax now.

It's safe to be present.

And it's safe to exist.

Over time.

Now,

I just want to offer you something here.

And like everything else here,

You can take it or leave it.

It's not prescriptive.

It's just an invitation to wonder.

Sometimes when we get curious about our symptoms,

And it doesn't mean figure it out kind of way,

But in a very,

Very gentle,

What might you be trying to tell me kind of way.

Interesting things can emerge.

Now,

As an example,

Chronic pain in the back,

Maybe connected with carrying too much,

Taking on everyone else's burdens,

And never asking for support.

People whose digestive issues are flared up.

Whenever they had to digest something emotionally,

That felt too big.

A hard conversation,

A betrayal they couldn't process a difficult truth.

People with autoimmune conditions,

Where the body is literally attacking itself.

Maybe it showed up after years of self abandonment,

Self criticism,

Or being in environments where they had to turn against themselves to survive.

Now,

I want to be really careful here.

And I'm not saying your illness is a metaphor.

I'm not saying you caused it with your thoughts.

Bodies are very complicated.

And there are always multiple factors,

Genetic,

Environmental,

Sometimes just random.

I am simply inviting you to consider what if your symptoms aren't just happening to you?

What if in some mysterious way they are also happening for you?

What if they're a doorway into parts of yourself that you've been waiting to be seen?

And I know that can feel like a lot.

And if it doesn't resonate,

That's completely fine.

You don't have to find meaning in your suffering.

Sometimes bodies just hurt.

And that's hard enough without adding any philosophy to it.

But if something in you perked up just now,

If there's a small yes somewhere in your system,

We can explore that in a journey that we're about to take together now.

We are going to now move into a gentle guided journey.

If you're driving or operating machinery or something like that,

Please save this for later.

If you're somewhere you can settle in and close your eyes or soften your gaze or even keep them open and just listen.

I invite you to do that now.

You might let your gaze soften,

Resting on a spot somewhere in front of you.

No judgment.

Your system knows what it needs.

Now begin by noticing wherever your body is making contact with the surface right now.

Maybe you're sitting down and you can feel the chair or couch beneath you.

Maybe you're lying down and you're feeling the support of what's underneath you.

Just notice.

You're being held.

Gravity is holding you.

The surface beneath you is holding you.

And notice your feet now.

Whether they are on the floor or resting on something,

See if you can feel them from the inside.

The weight of them.

The temperature.

Any tingling or heaviness or nothing at all.

Whatever you notice is exactly right for you.

Now very gently,

I am going to invite you to notice your breath.

Not to change it,

Just to notice it.

See if you can find where breath is happening in your body right now.

Maybe in your nostrils,

That slight cool air coming in.

Maybe in the movement of your chest or belly.

Just watching,

Just watching,

Just watching as the breath breathes you now.

And now I'm going to invite you to gently bring your awareness to an area of your body where you sometimes experience discomfort or pain.

If you have several areas,

Just choose one for now.

And if everything feels uncomfortable,

You might choose just your hands or your feet.

Just somewhere that feels manageable for you.

Now you don't have to go into the center of the pain.

In fact,

I'm going to invite you to stay at the edges.

Just gently notice what's at the border.

What does the boundary of the sensation feel like?

And if you can,

I want you to try something.

Instead of wanting the sensation to go away.

What if you just acknowledged it?

What if you silently said to this part of your body?

I see you.

I'm here.

I know you've been working hard to protect me.

I see you.

I'm here.

I know you've been working hard to protect me.

I see you.

I am here.

I see you've been working hard to protect me.

Notice what happens when you offer that acknowledgement.

There might be a softening somewhere.

There might be nothing.

There might even be an increase in sensation.

Whatever happens is information.

Whatever happens is your body responding to being met.

Now I'm going to invite you to find somewhere else in your body.

Somewhere that feels more neutral.

Maybe more than okay.

It might be your hands.

The space between your eyebrows.

Just somewhere that feels a little bit more at ease.

Let your attention rest there for a moment.

What's it like to be just with this part of your body where there is ease?

What's the texture of okay right now?

Now this is called pendulation.

This gentle moving back and forth between what's difficult and what's more resourced.

This is how your nervous system learns that it can experience activation and return to safety.

And it's how it learns that the pain is not the whole story.

If you like you might move your attention back and forth a few more times on your own.

You can pause this and do a few more rounds.

Touching the edge of discomfort and then returning to a place in your body where there is more ease.

Like a gentle tide in and out.

No forcing.

Just curious movement.

Now in a moment we'll bring this journey to a close.

But before we do I want you to place a hand if that feels comfortable somewhere on your body that's been struggling.

Maybe over an area of pain or maybe just over your heart.

If there were words your body has been waiting to hear what might they be?

Maybe something like I'm sorry I've been fighting you.

Thank you for trying to protect me.

I am here now.

I'm not leaving.

Or your own words.

Whatever words came or no words at all.

That's perfect.

Gently bring your awareness back to the room.

Notice the sounds around you.

Feel the surface beneath you again.

When you're ready.

No rush at all.

You can let your eyes open softly if they were closed.

Just taking in whatever is in front of you.

And welcome back.

Now I want to leave you with a few thoughts.

What we did together today.

The simple act of presence.

Turning towards your body with curiosity rather than frustration.

That's not a one time thing.

It's a practice.

Unlike any practice.

It works best when done regularly gently and without pressure.

You might find yourself returning to that place of pain with new eyes now.

Not to fix it but to be with it.

Not to conquer your body but to befriend it.

Healing from chronic pain and autoimmune conditions isn't a straight line.

There will be flares and setbacks.

There will be days when everything we talked about feels useless and you just want to scream at your body.

That's okay.

You are human and this is hard.

But if anything from today resonated with you.

I encourage you to find support.

Whether it's working with somebody joining a group or simply finding others who understand what it's like to live in a body that sometimes feel feels like an unreliable narrator.

Your body is not your enemy.

Your symptoms are not punishments and you're not broken.

You are a nervous system that learned to protect itself in the only ways that it knew how.

And now with gentleness with patience and with support you're learning in new ways.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for listening.

And thank you for giving your body this gift of presence.

And until next time.

Be gentle with yourself.

And Namaste.

Reviews

I love the gentle way you explain and teach Somatic approaches.
I am making more progress than I would have ever believed possible. I honestly thought I might be the only person that found little help from traditional therapy. I have quite a laundry list of diagnoses, that I'm finally after 40 years of searching finding the truth in. I am falling in love with my sensitive tender heart. I'm falling in love with this body and nervous system that have fought so hard for me, and a war I didn't realize I was in. Thank you.