Recognising The Story Of Our Mind And Stopping Suffering

In today’s session we contemplate the quote, ‘Meditation pauses the story of your mind long enough for you to remember that your mind is always telling a story.’ From Cory Allen, an American author, meditation instructor and coach. This track is taken from my course, ‘Daily Contemplations For Living An Examined Life’, available now via my profile.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the session.

I invite you to take a seat or lie down and get yourself comfortable.

You can close down the eyes if you wish and take a deep slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.

And just gently begin to open your mind to today's quote.

To contemplate the words with a free and open and subtle mind.

To welcome impossibility and expansion and growth.

And to allow yourself for the next few minutes to just sit and be with whatever arises.

In a moment I'm going to share with you a quote to contemplate and then we'll sit in silence for a minute and just let it percolate.

And then we'll talk about that quote and see where the discussion leads us.

Today's quote comes from Corey Allen,

An American author,

Meditation instructor and coach.

And it goes,

Meditation pauses the story in your mind long enough for you to remember that your mind is always telling a story.

Meditation pauses the story in your mind long enough for you to remember that your mind is always telling you a story.

So obviously you are at least partially convinced of the benefit of meditation being that you are on this app and you're taking a course with me.

I've shared quite a little bit about mindfulness and other forms of meditation here.

But this reframe,

This pause is one of the key fundamental aspects of meditation that I think needs to be highlighted more.

The pure worldly benefit of meditation is to pause,

To give you a breath,

To give you a moment to recalibrate,

To think,

To make a different choice.

But this quote takes that concept just a little bit deeper,

Potentially quite a bit deeper.

Meditation pauses the story in your mind long enough for you to remember that your mind is always telling you a story.

A lot of the pain we feel comes from the mental judgments and stories we apply on top of what actually happens.

There's this idea that whenever something happens,

We are afflicted by two things.

It's like we're shot by not one arrow,

But two.

The first arrow is what happens,

The physical pain,

The words someone speaks,

The unfortunate events.

That happens,

And the pain that spontaneously arises from such happenings is unavoidable.

It just occurs.

But what we do have some control over is the second arrow.

The second arrow that comes from judgment,

Comes from inner critique,

Comes from reflex,

Comes from the story that we tell about that first arrow.

If you feel pain in the morning,

But you know that you exercised the day before,

That pain has a cause.

And indeed,

It might even be desirable as a form of delayed onset muscle soreness.

But if you wake up sore,

And you've been ill,

Or you risk or you're worried about being ill,

Then that soreness is a potential harboring a doom.

Someone says something to you that could be taken offensively,

Or indeed is a direct insult,

Or a threat.

The response to those words needs to be considered.

And that event will impact you,

But you will feel far more duress based on the inner story that you tell yourself.

How dare they do this to me?

I don't deserve this.

They are this sort of person.

If the world,

If government,

If an oppressive force is causing you or forcing you to do certain things that you simply can't avoid,

And you have to go with it,

Then all of the feelings of anger and resentment and annoyance may not be useful.

You can see this if you have a child,

And you want them to do something that they don't want to do.

And the pushback that they give you for a simple request,

And subsequent meltdown and tears and drama that arises from such a small request,

Far exceeds the pain that simply acquiescing to that request in the first place would have given the child.

You see that by saying,

Hey,

You need to go to bed,

Turn off the TV,

You're causing them a little bit of pain in the moment.

But the story they tell themselves internally may cause them so much more.

Oh,

My parents are mean.

Oh,

This is unfair.

My other friends have to do all of these feelings that arise are sort of a microcosm for the bigger or more complex feelings that you yourself will be feeling.

And in the same way that you can see with your child,

With someone else,

With a friend,

Offer them advice,

Because you are detached from them,

Meditation can help you do that for yourself.

It pauses the story in your mind for long enough for you to remember that your mind is always telling a story.

There are studies that suggest that physical feelings are interpreted differently,

As in the feeling of excitement could be reframed as the feeling of fear,

Depending on the story you tell yourself and the context you find yourself in.

The body responds similarly,

But our mind tells the story around those responses,

And thus we create this feedback loop.

Are you excited?

Or are you fearful?

Well,

If you're excited,

These feelings are good,

And therefore you lean into them,

And therefore you keep going,

And it's joyous.

Are you fearful?

And these feelings are showing you that and reinforcing that,

And now you want to fall over and curl up in a ball and cry.

The same physical sensations expressed and superimposed over by a different story changes the personal experience of those feelings.

The feelings that arise are the first arrow,

Our response to them are the second.

There is a profound implication of this idea,

This idea that everything that we see,

Feel,

Touch,

Taste,

And smell,

Every word spoken,

Every event,

Everything,

Is that first arrow,

And the second arrow is our response to it.

That suggests that there really aren't any good or bad things that happen.

Now,

I understand the controversial or problematic nature of that phrase,

But let's just go with it for a second,

Because bad things do happen,

But no matter how bad those bad things are,

Our internal response to those bad things has the potential to reframe them as much worse,

Or not as bad as they are,

And that goes through the entire gamut of human experience.

As we get to the extremes of human experience,

It's hard to see that and do it in real time,

Of course,

But nonetheless,

The ability to reframe and to pause the story and to make a different choice internally,

Regardless of what has happened to us or is happening to us,

Is ideal.

Meditation gives us that.

The systematic observation of our internal state,

Of seeing the story.

Just take a moment and just watch your mind flow.

One thought,

The next thought,

The next thought,

The next thought.

Things just come and go,

And you don't really have a choice in the matter.

So even without an external stimulus,

Without something quote-unquote happening,

You're still afflicted and subjected to your mind.

But meditation can pause that story.

Now,

I could finish this session here,

But I want to go a little bit deeper with this quote,

Because there's a deeper aspect that it's hinting at.

Meditation pauses the story in your mind long enough to remember that your mind is always telling you a story.

Who is it telling a story to?

Who is your mind telling that story to?

Because you are not your mind,

You are not your thoughts,

You are not those feelings,

You are neither of those arrows.

You are just subjected to them.

Indeed,

I would argue that,

And you know,

This is the common claim of meditation instructors and spirituality practices,

Is that if you can pause that story long enough,

You'll see that who and what you are may be a response to that storytelling.

Maybe you are more than the story,

Maybe you are the thing that the story is being told to,

Maybe you are the blank page upon which that story is being written,

But you are not that story,

You are not that identity,

You are more.

This leads to the discussion of identification,

Of falling into the trap of maya,

Of the concept of duality in a potentially non-dual existence.

And once again,

It brings up different discussions on different forms of spirituality.

So,

We won't go down each of those paths,

We won't go down each of those paths,

But I would like to discuss it broadly.

The fact of the matter is that your mind,

And that story your mind tells you,

May or may not be true.

And even if everything your mind tells you is true,

It's just one interpretation of truth,

It's a potential truth.

That second arrow that feels like jealousy is one way of interpreting the events that happened.

The anger that you feel due to an event arising is just one way to interpret what happened.

Should you be angry that someone cut you off,

Or should you be compassionate that that person that did the cutting off is living that lifestyle,

Where they have to be rushing,

Where something is arising in their mind or in their world to dictate the fact that they can't drive like a sane and normal person.

Or what about the person who is yelling or screaming or insulting you,

Demeaning you,

You're the angry boss.

Should you feel resentment and upsetness and victimization?

Maybe.

That's a story your mind could tell.

Alternatively,

Your mind might tell you the story of compassion for that person who's clearly struggling in some aspect of their life.

So much so that they're unable to contain the vitriol and would much rather express it outwardly to you and to the world.

Because in reality that person is suffering and they're just like this poison that is just diffusing through every interaction that they take.

And their existence is one of profound loneliness and most likely inner turmoil.

Maybe that story arose,

Maybe the first.

But either way,

Whatever story arises,

The actual truth of the matter is,

Is if you can pause that story and just see what is arising as it is for what it is right now,

You'll find peace in this moment.

And perhaps that's enough motivation to meditate consistently,

Not just on the mat,

But just every day in your life.

Taking a moment when you notice that the story is arising,

To take a slow,

Calm,

Deep breath,

And remind yourself that that breath is an act of meditation that is pausing the story in your mind long enough for you to remember that your mind is always telling you a story.

And that pause,

That remembrance that your mind is telling you a story will help you to take things just a little bit less seriously,

A little bit less personally,

Will help you to take things just a little bit less seriously,

A little bit less personally,

And thus leading you to a sense of joy and connection and love with yourself and hopefully with the world.

Let's consider this for one more minute.

Meditation pauses the story in your mind long enough for you to remember that your mind is always telling you a story.

So well done.

This brings us to the end of the session.

At the bottom of your screen,

You'll see the option to view the classroom or to ask a question.

And before moving on,

I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights,

To read the answers from other students,

And to hear my replies.

Remember to start your responses with Corey Allen,

Or to restate the quote,

Story,

So we all know which one you're referring to.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further insight and introspection.

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This track was taken from my course,

Daily Contemplations for Living an Examined Life.

It's out now on Insight Timer and available via my profile.

I invite you to join in.

Reviews

Thank you. Appreciated the ’going deeper’ reflection. Loking forward to taking the course when finances permit 💚🌿

Story- I am going to try to remember that everything is a story.