I'm Tim Fortescue,
A life coach coming alongside of folks in their personal and spiritual development.
Today I'm going to lead you through an advanced parts mapping exercise that I get from Dick Schwartz's book,
No Bad Parts.
And this is more advanced because you'll be using pretty critical parts of yourself to locate and work with whatever clove of garlic got triggered by the person or event.
And when I say clove of garlic,
I mean instead of peeling off layers of an onion,
In internal family systems we're thinking more of that garlic clove,
That the parts that react around a trigger.
And we're looking at one specific clove of that garlic today.
And if IFS is new to you,
Check out my recorded talk and meditation on the basic assumptions of IFS.
Before we begin,
Let me give you an example that Dick Schwartz provides in his book,
No Bad Parts,
Prior to this exercise.
And he gives an example of being hard at work one morning on a presentation and forgetting to join an important phone meeting with his brothers and some other important people.
And Dick says that he's the oldest of his brothers.
And even though this was the case,
He mentions that he was probably the least responsible.
And he talks about how his father being hard on him about that.
And he mentions that he has a critic who can imitate his father pretty well,
Even today when he messes up.
And he noticed that critic surfacing regarding him missing the important phone meeting.
And Dick Schwartz makes the point that whenever he makes a significant mistake,
Although he's grown,
That this critic still comes on pretty strong.
And maybe this story can help you think of a situation that you'd like to explore more today and to learn about the parts that are involved.
Before we begin,
I want to note that you're going to be learning a little bit about the exiles your parts protect today.
And we won't actually be getting close to the exile,
But for some people,
Just learning about their exiles can be triggering.
So at any point in this exercise that it feels like too much,
Know that you can pause and step out of the practice and check in with yourself,
Remind your parts that you're still there.
And if that helps,
Then you can go back inside and continue the exercise.
And if it doesn't,
You can feel free to skip this one.
But as we begin,
I invite you to get settled.
It's best to have both feet on the floor if you can.
Know too that you can pause this exercise at any time and then begin again to give your system the space that it needs.
Continue to settle and notice where your body comes into contact with the ground where you are.
You can close your eyes if you'd like to,
But if you'd prefer,
You can just let your gaze rest softly in front of you and just take a couple deep cleansing breaths.
Just continue to take some time to get comfortable.
Let your attention go inward.
As you get oriented to your internal world,
See if you can think of a time when you were quite triggered by something.
And as you think of that situation,
Notice the triggered parts,
Then pick a protector from that clove of garlic to focus on.
Then place your attention on that protector exclusively,
Finding it in or around your body.
Notice how you're feeling toward it.
If you feel anything extreme toward it,
For example,
If you're afraid of it,
That's just another part of you.
So move your focus to that part for a second.
Notice both parts,
The original protector and the one who may have an attitude or some fears or concerns about that original protector.
Notice how the two parts might be fighting inside of you.
You can notice if there are any other protectors that jump in to ally with either side,
Or maybe they even take a third position.
And so far,
We're not interacting with any of these parts.
We're just getting a sense of this network that comes up around this trigger in your life.
We're getting to know the protectors involved so far.
And at some point,
As you watch this dance of your protectors,
See if you can open your mind more toward them so you can learn about them.
And if you can't get there,
That's okay.
Just spend the exercise noticing.
If you do become interested in what all of this activity is about,
Then go ahead and ask each one of your protectors about the vulnerability it protects.
What does it fear would happen if it didn't take its position?
And if your protectors answer that question,
You'll begin learning about the exiles that drive these extreme responses.
And without going directly to those exiles,
See how much of a sense of them you can get.
Can you guess what they're like?
Can you become more aware of their vulnerability?
As you learn more about what your protectors are trying to take care of,
It may help you open your heart more to them because you get more of a sense of what they're dealing with,
How high the stakes are.
Often,
These protectors are like parents who have a highly vulnerable child.
They fight and polarize about how best to protect that child because the stakes are so high if the child were hurt.
The difference is that these protectors aren't old enough to be parents.
Usually,
They're young themselves.
They're in over their heads,
Just trying to do their best.
Let them know that you get all of that.
Tell them you'll keep working with them.
Let the exiles know you're aware that they're in there.
You can't visit them today,
But at some point,
You're going to try to help them too.
Remember,
What happens in that inner world has tremendous implications for what happens in the outside world.
Then,
Check in with your other parts as we begin to close for now.
See how they're reacting as they witness this conversation you had with the protector part.
Thank your parts for anything they let happen.
Thank them for their courage.
Let them know this isn't your last visit.
Let them know that you'd like to spend more time with them if they'd like that.
Maybe later today or in the next couple of days.
Then,
When it feels right,
You can bring your attention back to the present moment where you are.
Take a couple of final deep cleansing breaths.
You can open your eyes if they were closed,
And you can continue about your day.
Thanks for joining me in this exercise.
Take good care.
