It's such an interesting inquiry,
Like when I look at my own direct experience,
What is suffering?
What is it to feel the opposite of liberation,
Feel the opposite of freedom,
Feel the opposite of,
Let's just say,
What is desired?
One of the fundamental things I know is that my internal world is not created by the external.
Meaning,
Whatever I feel isn't there because of what's happening.
Whatever I feel is there because of how I see what is happening.
And,
My gosh,
I don't know if I need to explain how that's true to you.
In one way it seems,
Well,
That's obvious.
And then I can completely understand how some people just don't see that.
I was actually having this conversation with my partner the other day because,
You know,
Because she's human like all of us,
Sometimes when I don't do what she wants me to do she interprets it as,
I don't love her.
Which is a very human thing to do.
And so,
In her humanness she gets the pouty face and hurts on the inside.
And on the surface it looks like she's hurting because I didn't get her what she wanted.
But that's not how the hurt arises.
The hurt arises because she interpreted that as meaning she was unlovable.
So you see this,
Yeah?
Like,
The emotional experience is not created by anything in the world.
The emotional experience is responding to how you perceive,
How you see.
And like in the example with my partner,
You can see how the emotions hinge on the perception of oneself either being whole and complete,
Loved,
Or separate and unworthy,
Unloved.
Right?
Like,
Look at all of your emotional experiences,
Whether it's a minor irritation or full-on heartbreak or disappointment.
Do you see how it all traces itself back to a self-perception of yourself being loved or unloved?
And for me,
I can't escape how true that is.
Which,
In a way,
Makes me forgive the world.
Right?
Because the only reason I would withhold forgiveness from the world is because I assume the world is making me feel unloved.
And that's not how it works.
Only I can do that.
And so my point being,
In the bigger picture of this,
Is that the more I see the truth,
The more I perceive wholeness.
Which is also to perceive myself as part of that wholeness,
Which is to perceive love.
And the more I don't see that,
Which will then result in seeing separation,
Which introduces judgment and blame and all of these other things,
Which is to not see what's true,
Then the more I suffer.
And you see,
That's the lie.
To break it down using spiritual language,
When I look out and I see separation,
That's the lie.
The lie is separation.
Right?
Also,
It's a lie that says,
X,
Y,
Z made me feel how I feel.
That implies separation.
There's this and there's that.
And so I suffer.
