Let Go, Be Yourself: A Journey Of Self-Awareness

Have you ever felt the weight of trying to get life right—of striving, fixing, and endlessly chasing some version of yourself that feels just out of reach?

In this talk, Tiger share deeply from his own experience of what it means to let go of all that noise. It’s not about figuring life out or solving every problem—it’s about seeing through the stories we tell ourselves, relaxing into what’s already here, and discovering the freedom in simply being.

Transcript

When I look at the things that seem to bother me or seem to irritate me,

On the surface there's the story of why.

And you know what I find when I really dig into them?

I find this determination to protect an image of myself,

Which is to protect the ego,

The character of Tiger,

Which is such a fascinating inquiry.

And it's playfully a dangerous inquiry because if you go down this rabbit hole what you start to see is how arrogant you are.

Can I just be here and speak honestly with you?

Is that okay?

Can I not have to pretend to be someone who has their shit together?

Can I just be a human being and share what it is I find to be so beautiful about life and being human?

These topics and questions that have been presented,

In one way I can see these questions and come up with all sorts of things to say about how to get what you want.

And then there's another side of this that looks at my own human experience and sees the exhaustion in all of that.

I see my own playful human failure in doing the things I say I'm going to do,

Getting all excited about my plans and strategies,

What I think is coming,

What I want to happen,

And how often I might find myself back in a place where I feel clueless.

And between these two sides,

And I can see a validity on both sides,

There's a deeper insight that I just find to be so beautiful.

While there is this human aspect where I'm engaged in what appears to be a past,

Present,

And future.

What appears to be a human life with responsibilities,

With desires and wants and relationships,

And everything else that appears to be happening.

And then there's this element of deep spiritual insight that so often cuts through the noise of my humanness,

But also holds space for my humanness.

It's almost like a voice that says,

I see you,

And I love you,

And it's all okay.

And I say this maybe with the tone of not wanting to get you all excited about something.

To give the illusion that we're somehow gonna figure something out that's gonna help you get what you want tomorrow.

And you know,

Maybe there's a time and place for that,

But right now for me it's not.

Because what I see,

Again,

As I look at my own direct experience,

And especially that at the time of doing this video,

It's January 2nd,

So we just crossed into the new year of 2025.

And I'm always kind of reflecting back on the past year and reflecting on the next year.

And so naturally I start thinking about what I'd like to see happen.

But what I also like to reflect on in times like this is,

Of course,

The question of what really matters here.

Because I've seen myself get rather lost in my plans and strategies.

And when I say lost,

What I mean is there is this belief that somehow if they were to become realized,

That I might have something that I don't have right now.

Which of course is to recognize I see myself as missing something.

And of course that comes with a flavor of inner agitation or angst.

Isn't that interesting?

Because when I step back from that forward momentum,

As if I'm going somewhere,

And maybe look at the totality of my human experience,

I see that I'm okay right now.

I see that it's been a wild ride.

And I see how most,

If not all,

Has not gone how I thought it was gonna go.

In so many moments of playful certainty,

Thinking I knew how something was gonna unfold.

Whether that was headed in a positive or negative direction.

And it really seems like nothing has unfolded how I thought it would.

And maybe in appearances it might have looked like it did,

But it doesn't sustain itself in the way that I thought it might.

And this is to say that everything essentially slips through my grasp.

And this isn't seen as a negative thing,

It's just seen as a true thing.

A curious thing.

You know what it reminds me of?

It reminds me of how many times I've been convinced I know something,

Only to find out I didn't know or that I was wrong.

How many times I've felt certain about something,

And to ultimately see that I didn't see the big picture.

And what this shows me is that I really can't trust the mind.

And again,

Not a negative thing,

Just a true thing.

And a beautiful thing too,

Because it's in the mind that I find all the self-criticism and the self-judgment.

And even the unkind thoughts about others or circumstance.

All of which coming from the mind thinking it knows something.

And I find this to be at the root of all of my anxiousness.

The belief that I know something that I don't really know.

And if that's the case,

That I never really know what I think I know,

Why am I trying to know something again?

Which exposes a playfulness in it all.

There does seem to be this human element that is determined to know something.

Determined to solve the equation we call the unknown.

But what I find is that I just collect stories that temporarily make sense.

But eventually those stories unravel.

And I see that those stories can never capture the totality of reality.

They're like temporary placeholders that help the mind calm down.

But they don't actually know what's true.

And of course this is beautifully playful.

It's all allowed.

We're allowed to have our stories.

We're allowed to make things up that help the mind calm down.

We're allowed to make things up that drives the mind crazy.

We're simply allowed.

We're allowed to cross over into a new year and have all sorts of plans and resolutions.

And you know what I find in all of that allowing,

In all of the ways our human being might express itself,

Is that the more I recognize that it's all allowed,

It starts to take on a flavor of playfulness.

Because of course the agitation and seriousness underneath that somewhere it thinks something's not allowed.

Which is like saying things should be this or things should be that.

Which underneath that is a fear of getting it wrong.

And of course that's allowed.

But is it true?

Is it really true that you could get it wrong?

And I want to look at this for a second because I see it play out in my own humanness.

When I look at the things that seem to bother me or seem to irritate me.

On the surface there's the story of why.

Even why I think things are so important.

And you know what I find when I really dig into them?

I find this determination to protect an image of myself.

Which is to protect the ego,

The character of Tiger.

And I find that that's what the big deal is all about.

Which is such a fascinating inquiry.

And it's playfully a dangerous inquiry.

Because if you go down this rabbit hole what you start to see is how arrogant you are.

How you're making everything about who you think you are.

And how you want people to see you a certain way.

And you're throwing a fit because you seem to be losing that.

You seem to be losing control over the image of how other people see you.

And of course on the surface it doesn't look like that.

We have such beautiful stories that say it's not that.

That it's something else.

Even stories that say it's because I care so much.

But you know what?

I think we could say quite confidently that if there's any emotional disturbance it's wrapped around this image of yourself.

And you know that's something I talk about a lot.

The emotional intelligence and understanding emotions.

And at the core of our emotional disturbance is this innocent misunderstanding that doesn't see ourselves clearly.

Yada yada.

But it's fascinating to really take a moment to see that.

That wow.

All of these things that are bothering me.

What they're really about is who I think I am.

And wanting other people to see me a certain way.

And it's beautifully exhausting.

Because on the surface we can say it's life that's exhausting.

We can say it's responsibilities that are exhausting.

Being human is exhausting.

But all of that that we see on the surface,

It's not really on the surface.

It's reflecting an inner battle that's going on.

And that inner battle is an ego that's desperately trying to survive.

It's an image of ourselves that's trying to be real.

And there's a thousand different ways we can talk about that.

And this inner battle,

I would suggest,

Exists in all human beings.

And I don't necessarily find what we might call an escape from that battle.

But what I do see is an opportunity to transform our relationship with that battle.

Maybe a way to illustrate it is to look at the dynamic between like a child and a parent relationship.

Where when you're a parent and there's a child,

The child's gonna cry.

The child's gonna throw a fit.

The child's gonna be unreasonable.

But you can,

Let's say,

Approach that from two different perspectives.

One,

You can see how adorable it is.

How unavoidably adorable it is.

And you can also see it as in your way.

And however you see it will dramatically flavor your interaction.

And this is what I see to be the real transformation in life.

It's not so much changing things.

It's transforming how you see them.

And in the spirit of that,

It's not to transform how you see them to see them how you want to see them.

It's to transform by seeing more of what's really true.

Because the way that we see them that makes them problematic is to turn them into something that they're not.

Which is almost like saying in the example of the parent and the child,

The difficult relationship is like saying it shouldn't be this way.

And you can see how that perspective creates a resistance that fuels the fire,

So to speak.

And what's actually more true is that if it is this way,

It's allowed to be that way.

And if it is this way,

It should be this way because this is the way that it is.

But also in the spirit of that,

It's important to recognize that how you see something isn't necessarily the way it is.

And so you could look at a child that's throwing a tantrum and you could say effectively,

This is a big deal.

And then think it's supposed to be a big deal,

But you're just turning it into a big deal.

It's not really that.

And so what is it really beyond what you're turning it into?

And what it really is,

Is what it's supposed to be.

And so this speaks to the nature of this inquiry,

Which is to look beyond our projections.

Which is wild,

Because we are so often caught by our projections,

Which is our mind's interpretation.

And we think what our mind sees is the way things really are.

And that's wild,

Because it's just not.

And this creates so much noise in our human experience.

And this noise can lead us running around thinking we're going somewhere.

And nothing's really happening.

And what's interesting about that is so often in our quest to improve,

It's like we're trying to resolve all this noise,

But we don't see that the noise isn't even happening.

Which is kind of like saying we're trying to solve a problem that's not really a problem.

It's such an interesting experience it is to run around in the world trying to solve a problem that's not really there.

Or trying to fix something in yourself that's not really broken.

And this is the mechanism that I see that goes on in my own human experience.

Is where I can see myself in,

Let's say,

A judgmental way that projects all sorts of criticisms and particular meanings that aren't really there.

And then I try and fix those things.

Which is fascinating.

Because if I would just relax,

I would see that everything's fine.

And you know what's funny about that?

Is that the absence of relaxation is what's giving rise to the problematic things I want to change.

And you know,

I've talked about this many times,

But I don't get tired of pointing towards it because I think it's fascinating.

A way to illustrate this is that the problem that I'm trying to solve is one of self-judgment.

Because if I look at my human experience on the surface and I see all of these things that I don't like,

What I'm experiencing is my self-judgment.

And that feels gross.

I don't like to see myself in such unloving ways.

And so when I look at those things that I see as unloving,

I demand that they change so that I don't have to see them with unloving eyes.

So I say,

Dear self,

If only you were different,

Then I could love you.

So do you see that I'm trying to get away from the self-judgment?

But on the surface,

I think I'm trying to get away from the thing on the surface.

But what I'm really trying to get away from is the self-judgment.

And why is this fascinating?

Because the problematic thing is fueled by self-judgment.

So it's like I'm trying to put out fire by adding more fire rather than just going to the conclusion,

Which is to drop the self-judgment.

Which is scary for the ego because it's kind of like saying,

Just accept yourself as you are.

And the ego says,

No,

I don't like myself as I am.

Which is more self-judgment.

You see,

There's no way out for the ego.

This is a perpetual loop that it gets trapped in,

Which is really pointing towards a deep surrendering of the ego,

Which is to let go of the idea of yourself,

Which is to see that this isn't about you,

Which is an invitation to walk through a door of great humility and equality.

Because part of that fuel,

And I'm just going to spontaneously try and articulate this,

But part of that fuel of self-judgment in a way is trying to be better than somebody else.

It doesn't want to be equal.

Right?

It wants to be more than.

And of course,

Because it wants to be more than,

It has to see itself as less than,

Which is one of those perpetual loops.

And there's no way out.

There's no way out for that.

Character.

What's amazing about all of this as I explore it with you right now is that at the same time,

I see that this is what spirituality is talking about.

I mean,

Even though,

You know,

There's all these different spiritual stories from what I see is that they're all pointing to this realization that I'm attempting to articulate,

Which is waking up from the illusion of you.

And seeing what's actually true.

And we have to use silly words,

Which is to tell silly stories about what's really true as a pointer to see it while realizing it can't really be said.

And so we tell silly stories.

Stories about heaven,

Stories about hell,

Stories about God,

Stories about the devil,

Which is all just trying to illustrate something profound that can't actually be spoken.

This,

Of course,

Is why I can spend thousands of hours talking about these things because we're just talking around it in a thousand different ways.

It's all poetry.

And as you listen to the poetry,

There's this possibility that it might inspire an insight where you see something more deeply,

Even though you can't fully put words to it.

It's like,

Imagine you're the first of your friends to see a beautiful sunset.

And then you go try and tell them about it,

Someone who's never seen one before.

No matter what you say,

It doesn't give them the experience of a sunset.

And you try and find some sort of beauty in the words to point towards it that might give them a taste,

One that maybe inspires them to take the trip and go where you went so that they can see it for themselves.

And of course,

This is what inspires all spiritual traditions and religions,

Is someone who saw it and tried to put words together in a way that would point others to go look too.

And as we talk about it,

As we say all these words,

We can just take a moment of stillness because it's in that stillness,

It's in the space between the words that if it's going to be seen,

It'll be seen.

For example,

As I look at my own vision,

What do you even want to call it?

Neuroses?

Adorable human confusion?

Propensity to distort reality with my projections?

I see the insanity of it all.

Not a judgmental insanity,

But a fascinating insanity.

And I just have to take a moment and step back and say,

My goodness,

Do we really need to be this hard on ourselves?

Is protecting this image so important?

Do I really need to be better than somebody else?

And all of these things that I just said,

Do I not see that they're impossible?

Do you want to keep doing something that's impossible,

That is also incredibly exhausting and hurtful?

Or would you like to relax and simply appreciate the miracle of life that you're living?

A spiritual or religious way of saying this would be like to say,

Do you really want to keep trying to be God or are you okay just letting God be God?

I love that question.

Because,

And again,

I'm using silly words to point to something.

It is so obvious that that's what's happening when I look at this ego character run the show.

That in a manner of speaking,

Who I think I am is trying to be God rather than letting God be God.

This illusion of who I think I am is trying to make this life thing about me when really it's about everything.

Can I surrender to that?

Or am I going to keep fighting for something that's impossible?

And convincing myself there's still a chance.

And this battle,

Of course,

This determination is inspired by a very compassionate fear.

And this fear is a fear of what's true.

So,

The aspect of yourself that desperately wants this life thing to be about you is afraid of the truth that it's not about you.

And when I say about you,

I mean about who you think you are,

Which is the idea of yourself,

Which is your ego.

Because in the same breath,

I could also say it's deeply about you,

But it's the reality of you,

Which is also the reality of everything else,

Which is all the same thing.

And that's where these silly words get all twisted.

My apologies if that seems unclear.

I just invite you to see that the inner drama and the chaos of what appears to be your life is wrapped around this image of yourself,

This idea of yourself,

This thought of yourself,

This self that you think about,

Which is a self that is not real,

Which is a self that is 100% imaginary.

And it is the root of all suffering.

All flavors of suffering.

All degrees of suffering.

And it's an innocent misunderstanding that doesn't see the truth of what you are.

I'm really glad that I can just show up here and do these talks so randomly and spontaneously.

Because there is that human aspect of me that thinks I should be more intentional or more focused about it.

And sometimes that's the case,

But I love to relieve all of that pressure and just show up as I am and say whatever is the most sincere thing to say.

And of course,

You know,

To peek behind the scenes,

That fear that thinks it might not be possible or that I should do something else speaks to that play of wanting to do this whole content creation thing the right way to get a particular outcome.

And sure,

You know,

Maybe there's a time and place for that.

But I also see that that is just not where I'm at.

It's not that important.

Because I also see when I do try and control that or make it be that,

It can be soul crushingly exhausting.

You know what it's also like?

It's like realizing that I'm not even the one that's doing this.

When I come here and I say these words and I'm simply speaking what's there,

What's sincere,

It's so effortless,

Like I'm not even doing it.

It's like I'm getting out of the way and letting life speak through me.

And not only is it effortless,

But it's healing in some way.

It's restorative,

Right?

Because it's bringing me back to a place of sanity,

Allowing me to check out from the illusion of my humanness and come back to what is real and authentic and know that that's okay.

And of course,

In order to do that,

And this is a lesson on freedom to be authentic,

I have to let go of the world's prize in the future.

Because in a manner of speaking,

The world says,

If you want this particular outcome,

Then you have to do it this way and this way and this way.

And if you don't,

Then you might not get the outcome.

Well,

If you want to be authentic,

You have to find a way to do it authentically or just be authentic and be okay with not getting the particular outcome.

And I guess for me,

There's an invitation to trust that maybe there's a different outcome that life has in mind that I'm not aware of.

Which actually is probably more in alignment with the truth of my experience watching life take me on a journey,

Rather than me dictating how that journey should unfold,

Because that's always been a disaster.

And maybe it's not like that for others.

It's also like the example where somebody else could look at my experience,

And I've received these reflections before and they say,

Wow,

You're so consistent at creating content.

You're so organized.

You're so on top of things.

But from my perspective,

That's not the case at all.

Because I can just as easily tell a story that's the opposite.

And so what I see in my experience is a very natural flow of learning and growing and maybe getting better at doing certain things.

But it's also like I'm being carried and it doesn't help me avoid the terror of the unknown,

Right?

It's not like it helps me gain control over the future,

Because there's always the element of the unknown.

But it is interesting to see when I look back just over the years of doing what I do,

How,

Yes,

There is the appearance of progress,

And that's beautiful.

But I also see that it's been somewhat effortless.

And the moments of when it was hard,

These moments were ultimately teaching me of how it could be easy or easier.

And so it's all part of it.

And even in the appearance of effort,

Again,

From the onlooker,

They can say you put so much effort in.

So much of that effort doesn't feel like effort,

Right?

Like,

For example,

Being here with you right now and showing up,

This is so incredibly effortless.

And I noticed that in so much of the work that I do,

Even when I'm holding space for people,

The invitation is just to get out of the way and hold space.

And in the same way that in these sessions I find the things to say,

Holding space for others,

I find the things to say.

Again,

It's like it's not even me doing it.

What a disaster it would be if it had to be me.

I see this reflected just in the nature of art.

And any artist probably sees the same thing.

It's something that's moving through you.

And you get out of the way.

The more you want credit for the art,

The more of a disaster the creation process is.

The more you're afraid of getting it wrong.

And all of these agitations restrict the flow.

Because in the fear of getting things wrong,

It's the same as a fear of being honest.

And real art is all about honesty.

It's about expressing what's really there.

And that's effortless when you get out of the way.

It's like breathing.

I love this illustration.

You can recognize the breath is effortless.

Something's happening,

Right?

There is a play of doing.

But yet you're not doing it.

And the moment you try to be the one who does it,

It becomes a little bit more difficult.

Do you ever notice that?

Try it now.

Try and be in charge of breathing and see how that goes.

And I see that same play of difficulty when I try and be in charge of my life.

And again,

This is all playful too.

It's like it's all allowed.

What's the conclusion here?

What's the conclusion here?

In this time that you spent with me,

What's the invitation?

For me,

Quite obviously,

It's to relax,

Buddy.

Everything's okay.

You don't have to take it that seriously,

Which is you don't have to take yourself that seriously.

You're already home.

You're already the beautiful human being you think you have to become.

You just don't see that you're already that.

And then just go love on people.

Go love on people in whatever way is the most effortless and joyful and honest.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

Reviews

Thank you for your perspective

I needed this so much. You speak to my heart. Thank you.

what I related to most in this talk is trying to figure out what my life is supposed to look like, especially now that my husband of 37 years Has died. my mind will get very busy around that thought. and yet being aware that I’m doing that I’m also finding I don’t stay in that thought pattern and self judgment for very long

Really inspiring!! I hear you! I see you! Much love. And thanks 😊

Thank you for this lovely talk 🙏🏼🤍

Fantastic 🙏I love you 💜