Forgive Yourself And Forgive The World

There is a quiet pain that comes from carrying grievances — toward others, and more often, toward ourselves. In this teaching, Tiger explores the true mechanics of forgiveness: not a moral decision, but a recognition that the world is, at its root, innocent. Through stillness and honest self-inquiry, he traces how the world mirrors our own internal stories of not being enough, and how seeing that clearly opens something unexpectedly light. A grounding reminder that the deeper you understand the truth of things, the more you realize there is simply nothing to forgive.

Transcript

Welcome. This is an insight meditation. The opportunity, First and foremost, Is to just be here with me. And in being here, We can relax our hearts to whatever degree that we can. We can recognize the reality of here and now, And we can open ourselves up to maybe receive some insight that ultimately invites us to fear less and love more. So settle in. The title of this insight meditation is Forgive Yourself and Forgive the World. And it's really a beautiful opportunity to not only experience the liberation of what we might call real forgiveness, But it's also to recognize or remember something that is beautifully and profoundly true. And what is beautiful and profound about that truth is that not only do we see that it's true right now, But we see that it has always been true and always will be true. Can we just breathe into that for a second? To breathe into a remembering that what is true is always true, And in the most innocent of ways, We simply forget. And how beautiful is that? Even if we forget, It's still true. The topic of forgiveness is interesting to me because from a certain lens, It points towards a tremendous amount of pain that we carry. Whether that is a desired forgiveness for somebody else or a forgiveness for the world. Underneath all of that, If we look, We might recognize a pain that in some way doesn't forgive yourself. This might be difficult to see. It can be difficult to see because in the noise of the mind, It's so easy to assume that the problem is out there. The problem is other people. The problem is the world. The problem is circumstance. And depending on how deep you have traveled this rabbit hole, The rabbit hole of what we might call self-inquiry, Seeing a deeper truth to what's actually happening, We start to recognize that all of those things out there are simply mirroring something that's going on inside of ourselves. And of course, The mirror presents an opportunity. The mirror invites us to see what's going on on the inside. Such is the beautiful invitation of meditation or stillness, Where as we live out the busyness of our lives, The busyness of all of our relationships, The pain that we encounter in the stillness is simply inviting a healing of the real issue. What's really going on here? And of course, If we don't want to encounter that, Which is understandable because it can be scary, Then we carry about our lives simply blaming everyone else. And as we've seen, That ultimately doesn't heal the real issue. It just helps us hide. And so in the spirit of that, I just want to tell you that in the stillness, As you get in touch with your own deepest honesty, It's okay if you find pain there. It's okay if you see things that might be a bit scary. And amazingly, There is this commonality in all of us human beings that in some way that pain points towards a fear of not being loved. We could call that a fear of not being enough. We can call that a fear of being rejected. We could call that a fear of not being forgiven. But it's all the same thing. And even though that might be scary, Even though there might be an experience of pain in seeing that, It's important that we acknowledge it. That we acknowledge within our humanity is a pain that feels like we are unloved, Or a fear that we might be unloved. So often we want to run away from that, But let's just acknowledge in this moment the truth of that, That is there. Meditation such as this is an opportunity to see that you don't have to run away. An opportunity to see that you don't have to hide from what is true. An opportunity to see that within you is a capacity to hold space for whatever is moving inside of you. Now go with me here if you can. And can we recognize what we might call the pattern of projecting this pain onto other people and the world? Whereas there's a deeper truth that in some way I'm having a hard time loving myself and other people keep reminding me of that, And so it's their fault that I have to meet that pain. And this is so obvious just in our daily lives. I see this all the time in my relationship of course, Where if I'm stressed out about something which maybe exposes a self-doubt or a fear of inadequacy, And then my beautiful partner walks into my office, Then somehow I'm slightly irritated or bothered by her presence. And to see it more clearly, I mean obviously, My irritation isn't really her. It's that it's inviting me to see something inside of myself. And you see that my anger towards her isn't really about her not doing what I wanted. It was simply reflecting an anger that I had in some way towards myself. And you see that the instant that I see this, I see her innocence, Which we could say I instantly forgave her. And here's the thing that is so often missed or not even addressed, Especially in a worldly context. I don't forgive her because she did something wrong or she made me suffer. I forgive her because I see that it's not even necessary to blame her. I see her innocence. You see, The blame, The projected guilt, Wants to say, You made me suffer, Therefore I either forgive or don't forgive you. But when I look really honestly at my experience, It's not true that she has the capacity to make me suffer. Do you see that? She doesn't have the capacity to make me tell stories about myself not being enough. And is this not our suffering? Is this not the nature of suffering? Where so often we think we are suffering over circumstance. But suffering is an emotional experience. And if you dig into the nature of suffering, In some way or in a manner of speaking, We are suffering over a story that we are not enough or we are not loved. And so in that, I can only create my own suffering. And that is not to blame myself. More so it's to understand the nature of what I am. Furthermore, It shows me how free I am in the world. That as it relates to the mechanism of suffering, Only I can do that. Therefore the world is innocent. And therefore everyone else is innocent. You know, In some way it's easy to see this for others. Like we can sit with the mechanism and see how obvious that is. That other people can't make us suffer emotionally, Even though it looks like that. And in that it's easier to forgive them. But of course, Being human, The real big challenge is to forgive yourself. And the beauty of this is that it's the same mechanism. It's the same truth, Whether you're forgiving another, Forgiving the world or forgiving yourself. For example, So often we can look at our past and see all of the adorably stupid things we've done. And not want to forgive ourselves. But you see that when we look at the past, We are looking through a particular lens that's taken it personally. We are saying this means something about me. Furthermore, We are saying this means I'm less than. And then I suffer that story. When maybe just as easily, We could say this means I was learning. This means I'm not better than anyone else. This means I'm human. Now I'll tell you, If you want to be better than others, You'll have a really hard time forgiving yourself. But if you want to see the truth of what is, Then forgiveness comes naturally. It's a funny thing to think about forgiving yourself for simply being human, As if you could be anything else. Do you forgive yourself for falling off of a bike as you learn for the first time how to ride a bike? Or is that simply part of learning? Does falling off of a bike mean you're a failure? Mean you're unlovable? Or is it simply part of learning? So much of this journey, My goodness, It's amazing how wild we can misunderstand the journey where we think it's about getting somewhere, Becoming someone important, Being approved of in the world, When really, So much of this journey is simply healing the relationship that you have with yourself. And how adorably distracted we become from that, Thinking it's about something else. Effectively, We are learning that it's okay to be human. And furthermore, What you are is a miracle. But of course, So often we don't see that. What we see is the content of our mind. We get lost in the dream of our life, Rather than resting in the reality of our life. We get lost in the dream of who we are supposed to be, Rather than falling in love with the reality. So often we say, Dear self, I will love you if… Rather than saying, Dear self, I see you and I love you. Which easily translates to, Dear self, I will forgive you if… Rather than, Dear self, You're already forgiven, I love you. This is so beautifully mirrored in my relationship. Just last night, She comes to me in the most adorable way and says, I'm sorry for my attitude. And I say, My love, There's nothing wrong with your attitude. You're already forgiven. I love you. Do you see this? The deeper you see the truth of it, There's simply nothing to forgive. And how perfectly placed is your attitude, As it points back to anything that's going on inside of me, Shows me where I'm withholding love. Shows me where I might be blaming you. So as you are, Is the perfect mirror. Thank you for being you. Thank you for the honesty of your attitude. Same with your humanness. Thank you for being you. Because it's profoundly true that you are doing the best that you can. Sure, You can tell stories about how you're not doing the best that you can, But I'm not buying it. As far as I'm concerned, Every human being is simply doing the best that they can with what they have. And they are right where they're supposed to be, As it relates to their journey of learning more about what's true. Which is actually quite interesting, Because do you notice if you relax into that, That you are forgiven, That you're right where you're supposed to be, You become much more open to learning. But if you're judging yourself, If you withhold love for what you are, If you don't forgive yourself, You become tight, Restricted, Defensive, Irritated, Not open to learning. So let's relax, Huh? Let's remember what's really true. I invite you to recognize that within you is the capacity to stand up and forgive the whole world, Including yourself. And I'm not talking about for all of time and for all of the tomorrows, I'm talking about right now. Right now. Set your heart free right now, Let tomorrow be tomorrow, We can do it again then. And if you forget, You forget, Luckily you're already forgiven. Just breathe. All is well. Thanks for meditating with me today.