An Honest Look At Fear

Fear often feels complex, wrapped in countless stories of what might happen or what we might lose. But at its core, all fear stems from the same essence—the fear of loss. In this reflective exploration, Tiger invites us to go beyond the stories and acknowledge the deeper truth of what we are resisting.

What happens when we stop trying to control fear and instead meet it with honest awareness? Could it be that every emotional disturbance, from irritation to heartbreak, is rooted in the same fundamental misunderstanding?

Transcript

The fascinating thing that I find about fear is the infinite stories we can tell about what we're afraid of.

And yet underneath all of those stories,

It can all be boiled down to the same fear.

Not necessarily the same story,

But the same essence.

And so rather than trying to overcome the myriad of stories we tell about fear,

We can go to the real heart of the matter.

And is it really overcoming?

Is it really conquering the fear?

I don't really see it that way.

What I see it as is acknowledging the truth of the fear.

The fear is a flavor of resistance.

Whatever we are fearing,

We are resisting something.

And the closer you get to what the fear really is,

You can get to the reality of what you're resisting,

Rather than being lost in the story of resisting.

Let's just find a point of agreement about what it is we're afraid of.

Let it be meditative.

We don't have to spin in our mind trying to figure out what it is.

But it's like feeling into the heart and allowing all the stories to calm down.

And you just get in touch with the truth of the matter,

Which is really something that's felt.

Do you see this like all the different stories?

But really it's one thing.

We can say,

I'm afraid of this not happening,

And I'm afraid of this not happening.

I'm afraid this might happen.

But what is it really?

And if we say,

I'm afraid of not being in control,

Well in control of what?

And for what purpose?

Do you see that underneath all fear is a fear of loss?

Like if we're afraid of losing control,

We're afraid of losing something that we're trying to control.

So it's not really the loss of control,

It's the loss of the thing that we're trying to hold on to.

And if we say it's a fear of death,

What do we think we're going to lose in death?

If we say it's afraid of what other people might think of us,

What do we lose if they think of us a certain way?

And this is playfully difficult to put into words because it's not really the words.

The words are just pointers.

In some way,

Using words to point to it,

We can say we fear the loss of who we are thought to be,

Which could also be said as we fear the loss of an idea about ourselves,

Which could also be the idea of ourselves that we're chasing.

And this is endlessly fascinating to me.

I mean,

Not only do I see it play out in my life,

But I see it play out in everyone I talk to.

It's like it's just the same fear,

It's the same human experience.

We're all just telling a different story about it.

And can we acknowledge that the adorable difficulty that arises in our human experience is birthed because there is this fear?

Can you see that every emotional disturbance you might have,

From minor irritation to dramatic heartbreak,

It requires fear.

This single fear.

Reviews

For such a short clip, it gave me lots to chew on. Thanks!

Thank you for continuing to point, over and over again, to the same truths 💜

Thank you 🙏

thanks Tiger 🩷🌹💕🦋🩷🌹💕🦋🩷

Good talk. I barely and basically have any fear, anymore for years. And losing ideas about ourselves,is actually a very good thing,and not something to fear.