The Secret Of Happiness: Beauty & Virtue

This class explores the relationship between happiness, beauty, and virtue. The secret to happiness is in learning to train the mind and thoughts; as we do so, we discover the ability to bring forth greater beauty into the world. The choice to bring forth beauty is a virtue, and in it, we find our wholeness and our happiness. Transforming the self has the ability to change the world, without trying to change anything at all. This is a 25-minute talk followed by a 20 minute guided practice.

Transcript

I've shared with a number of you about the bowl of sake,

Daily emails that arrive with writings and thoughts from Hazrat Anayak Khan,

The great Sufi teacher.

There was one the other day that really struck me,

And so I thought I would share that and focus on that for today's topic.

Happiness only lies in thinking or doing that which one considers beautiful.

Such an act becomes a virtue or goodness.

It's perhaps one of the clearest and simplest definitions of happiness that I've come across.

And it also speaks to the fact that we always have the capacity for happiness within our own grasp.

That it is not dependent on the outer world or outer circumstances.

It's dependent on our perspective and what we choose to do with all that we experience.

Happiness only lies in thinking or doing that which one considers beautiful.

Thinking or doing.

And so it starts with our thoughts.

Learning to discipline ourselves,

To control the flow of the mind is the key to happiness.

Which also speaks to the quote that I've often shared from Marcus Aurelius,

You have power over your mind,

Not external circumstances.

Realize this and you will find strength.

Throughout many different traditions this is a consistent theme.

That if we wish to find happiness,

Fulfillment,

And meaning in life,

It starts with ourselves and with our minds,

With our thoughts.

It's the power of intention.

And whatever we guide our intention towards,

Consciously or unconsciously,

We bring more of that into our experience and into the world around us.

This is,

In my experience,

A big part of the reason and purpose for meditative practice.

Meditative practice is taking a set period of time to consciously work with observing our thoughts and consciously shifting them in various ways.

It's similar to working out and building muscle.

When you work out consistently,

The muscle gets stronger but it also builds muscle memory.

When I was in high school and for part of college I was in gymnastics.

And it's amazing that even today I can still do a backflip.

Somebody asked me the other day,

A friend I hadn't seen in years.

And even if I haven't done it for a couple of years,

I can do a backflip.

It may not be as graceful as it used to be,

But that's the power of muscle memory.

From doing it over and over,

Over the course of months and years,

I developed the muscle memory that it is here with me now.

The same applies to meditative practice.

At first,

When you first try to learn a backflip,

How am I going to do that?

And you might have someone spot you and you practice.

Having someone there to help is often of great use.

But eventually you have to take responsibility for it yourself and do it on your own.

And the same applies to meditative practice.

When we work together,

It's a great way to work together in community.

And it can be more challenging at times to practice on our own.

But the more we practice together and the more we practice on our own,

We're creating that muscle memory of the mind to continually come back to this perspective.

In yogic philosophy,

They often use the term remembrance.

What we're doing is we're bringing our consciousness back to remember our natural state,

To remember the love,

Compassion,

And beauty,

And wisdom that we always have within us.

It's always already right here,

Right now.

We just have to remember it.

And that's the practice.

And as we practice consistently,

It becomes easier to train the mind to come back to it easier and quicker when we start to get thrown off by the fluctuations that occur simply from living in the world and seeing what's happening around us.

As I've talked about in the past,

It is easy for the mind to get caught by the outer world,

To want it to be different than it is.

But as shown in the quotes from the beginning of this class,

It doesn't usually do us any good to want the outer world to be different.

It might be pleasing to our ego,

Make us feel like we know how things should be,

But it doesn't actually change them.

What changes it is when we change how we relate to it,

How we consciously choose to bring forth the beauty within us and to see beauty in the world around us,

Regardless of what might be happening.

The more we begin to think beautiful thoughts and act in ways that we feel are truly beautiful,

It brings happiness,

It brings greater meaning to life,

And it has the greatest power of all to start to shift things in the world around us without us trying to impose our will on the world.

And as Hazrat says,

Such an act becomes a virtue or a goodness.

I've talked a bit about virtue in the past,

And one of,

For me,

The defining characteristics of what makes something a virtue is that it is a choice.

If we're forced to be good or to do something kind for others,

It isn't a virtue.

It's coercion or compliance or conditioning,

But that is not a virtue.

A virtue occurs when we choose with our own free will to do something beautiful,

To do something kind or compassionate,

Even when we may not want to.

You know,

It's like with patience.

Patience is the calm enduring of suffering.

Most of us,

When we're enduring suffering,

We don't want to be patient.

The natural tendency and inclination is to be impatient,

To want to change it.

And so that's why patience is a virtue,

Because we have to choose to be calm and patient with the experience of suffering.

And a magical thing happens when we start to choose the virtuous choice,

The virtuous action,

The virtuous words over the non-virtuous.

It inherently starts to transform us and bring out that beauty and bring that beauty into the world.

It begins to humble the ego,

To tame it,

To soften it.

And in so doing,

Our natural state begins to emerge.

We begin to know ourselves more deeply.

We begin to see the games that the mind might try to play from time to time.

And it's easier and quicker to catch it.

Say,

Ah,

I see what you're trying to do there,

But I'm going to choose differently.

In this process,

It's really important to cultivate mindfulness,

To cultivate awareness of the thoughts that occur,

To see how thoughts can so quickly translate into words or actions at a pre-conscious level.

Many of our words and actions can become habituated,

Conditioned,

From our parents,

From the educational system,

From society,

From the news,

From difficulties and challenges we've had when we were younger that created defense mechanisms that determine how we act or react or interact with the world and others at any given moment.

And so cultivating mindfulness is the first step in learning to decondition the mind,

To start to observe those habituated patterns and let them go so that we can choose what's beautiful,

What's wise,

What's coming from a place beyond the reactivity.

Of course,

This takes patience.

If you've ever met someone who's truly patient,

You can see that there is a deep and meaningful beauty in patience,

The spaciousness that it creates around the patient one.

It creates a softening and a relaxedness in the atmosphere.

Another way that I sometimes think about this,

This choice to bring beauty into the world,

Is looking at are we moving towards something that we truly want,

Or are we moving away from something that we don't want?

In other words,

Is our underlying motivation driven by love or by fear?

And as we get to know ourselves and look at our actions,

Our choices,

It becomes clearer and clearer over time where that impetus to act is arising from.

And if we see that it's actually coming from a reaction of fear of something that we don't want,

Even if it may appear that we're moving towards something,

Like I want the world to be different in this way,

It might seem like we're trying to move towards making the world that,

But if we look at the underlying motivation,

That's actually rooted in fear of what we don't want,

That we don't want the world to be the way that it is.

And this is an aspect of purity of intention,

Of learning to see where the intention is arising from,

And if it's arising from that pure underlying natural state that is based in compassion and wisdom and wanting to bring forth our unique beauty into the world,

Or is it coming from some aspect of the ego that has a desire to control,

That is rooted in fear.

For me,

Cultivating purity of intention is one of my primary practices of trying to really understand where the impetus and motivation is arising from.

And it's continual.

There's plenty of times when I may say or do something and then I see,

Oh,

Wait,

That was coming from a fear.

And we won't always catch it before it occurs,

But even seeing it after it's occurred and acknowledging it is part of cultivating that awareness of training the mind,

Of doing our daily workout to build that muscle so that it comes back to that place of remembrance.

When it comes to purity of intention,

In my experience,

To my knowledge,

True purity of intention cannot be outcome-based.

We cannot be acting with an agenda for X,

Y,

Or Z to occur based upon our action.

It has to come from the presence of the moment and the beauty that we bring forth,

Whether or not it is recognized,

Whether or not it seems to change anything in the outer world.

Because the truth is that each time we act to bring forth that beauty,

Whether or not it seems like anything changes,

Something is fundamentally changing within ourselves.

It's repatterning the brain and the habits of the mind.

It's kind of like with meditation.

You can choose to sit and meditate every day for five minutes or ten minutes or fifteen minutes,

And you might do it for a week or a month or a couple months,

And it might seem like almost nothing is happening.

You might feel at times like you're not making any progress,

Or maybe you feel you see a bit of progress and then you go back.

And it can be easy to be kind of ambivalent and,

Well,

This isn't doing anything.

But the fact is that every time you make the choice to sit in practice,

It is doing something internally.

And a lot of meditative practice happens behind the scenes,

Beyond our conscious awareness.

Most everybody loves when you have a quote-unquote great meditation,

And you have this deep experience or these visuals or this deep sense of relaxation and love in the body,

And you come out of it and you feel this bliss.

And those are wonderful,

And they're part of the experience.

And it's important to not get attached to those experiences,

And to realize that sometimes the deepest meditations,

The ones that are creating the greatest transformation,

Might be ones where nothing at all seems to happen.

And in those meditations,

If they last for 20 minutes and we feel like nothing is happening or we're just watching our thoughts go,

Again,

We have the choice to say,

Well,

This isn't doing anything,

So I'm going to stop.

Or we can choose to keep going,

And that again is what makes it a virtue.

It's a virtue of willpower,

Of commitment,

To do it even though we may not want to or we may not be getting the instant gratification that is so enjoyable at times.

As I said,

This is a process of deconditioning the mind to bring forth that beauty,

So then we can cultivate the experience of happiness within.

Some people talk about this idea of a habit body,

You know,

That we have a physical body,

We've got a mind,

We've got a soul,

We've got all of these different energetic layers.

And some people refer to the concept of the habit body,

That we have an energetic layer that is basically just habits that we've created over our lifetimes.

And it's easy to go into the habit body.

It's comfortable.

It's very familiar territory because it's habitual.

We've done it for a long time,

Many times over.

You know,

Whether it's saying the same phrase in response to something,

Or a certain movement or action that we take,

A certain reaction to someone getting angry at us,

Or to someone feeling sad and feeling the need to do something.

So,

Learning to decondition the habit body is one way of removing these layers to soften into the beauty that we have within.

Because anything that is habituated like that creates a level of dissociation from reality as it is.

And so to work with reality as it is and to find that beauty that's always here,

Both within and without,

We need to move beyond habituated ways of being.

You know,

We've talked before about how in Buddhism they talk about the natural state being like the sun,

And that the obscurations,

The things that prevent us from perceiving our own natural state,

Are like into clouds that obscure the sun.

And when we look out on a cloudy day,

Even though we don't see the sun,

We always know that it's there.

So similarly,

The habituated body is part of those obscurations that block us from seeing the sun of our innate nature,

Of the beauty and love and compassion that we have within.

You've heard me say this many times,

But in my perspective and experience,

It always starts with ourselves.

This is the one thing that we really,

Truly have an influence over,

Is ourselves and how we choose to relate to all that we experience.

And we can choose to relate to that in a virtuous way,

Responding with love and kindness,

Compassion and beauty,

Regardless of what might be occurring.

Or we can choose to respond from a reactive way or habituated way.

And there's no judgment in that.

Because if you choose the virtuous because you feel guilt or shame about choosing the unvirtuous,

It isn't actually virtue,

It's coercion.

It's a choice that we each have to make.

And that's the free will.

And that's what makes it a virtue.

I'll share another quote from Hajar Naik Khan before we begin the meditation.

When we are depending on another person to be kind to him,

The Sufi thinks if he were kind to another person,

That is sufficient.

Every wise man in the long run,

Through life,

Will find in this principle,

The solution of happiness.

We cannot change the world,

But we can change ourselves.

Doesn't mean that we change overnight or over a week or over a month.

It's a continual practice.

Sometimes we do have changes that we see within a week or a month.

Most of the changes in my experience,

I can see in hindsight as I look back over the last two decades of practice.

Things that I didn't realize were changing at the time.

And of course,

Being human.

It's also easy to be hard on myself at times and see how much further I still have to go and how many mistakes I still make.

And that's where the practice of self-compassion comes in.

And staying committed to the practices,

Even when it may seem like nothing is changing at all.

So if you will,

Please find a comfortable posture for meditation.

You can be seated or lying down.

Check to make sure that your body is supported in ways that allows you to let go of any unnecessary tension or holding from the body.

If you are seated,

Make sure that you have a stable base and allow the torso and spine to rise with the natural curves up towards heaven.

Allow the shoulders to relax back and down.

The crown to reach up towards heaven.

Whether you are seated or lying down,

Begin to bring awareness to the flow of the breath.

Simply observing the natural movement of the breath on the inhalation and exhalation.

Begin abdominal breathing with each inhalation,

Allowing the abdomen to gently expand with each exhalation,

Allowing the abdomen to gently contract.

All the while keeping the shoulders and chest relaxed and still.

As you follow the flow of the breath with abdominal breathing,

With each exhalation,

Consciously release any unnecessary tension from the body.

As you follow the flow of the breath with abdominal breathing,

With each exhalation,

Consciously release any unnecessary tension from the body.

Now,

Bring to mind an exemplar.

Imagine in front of you a being of pure love,

Compassion,

And wisdom.

Notice how a being imbued with these qualities is inherently beautiful.

It radiates beauty,

Patience,

Compassion,

Kindness,

Love,

Understanding.

Feel them perceiving you,

Looking at you,

Seeing you in your fullness.

All of your challenges,

All of your unique gifts.

Notice how they perceive you with complete acceptance,

Allowing space for the totality of your being.

Feel the deep sense of safety and relaxation that arises within their presence,

Knowing that you are accepted completely and fully,

Just as you are.

Feel the deep sense of safety and relaxation that arises within their presence,

Knowing that you are accepted completely and fully,

Just as you are.

Within the atmosphere that they create,

Allow yourself to rest completely in the fullness of your own being.

Feel the deep sense of safety and relaxation that arises within their presence,

Knowing that you are accepted completely and fully,

Just as you are.

Now,

Imagine this visualization of the exemplar dissolving into a ball of light.

And allow that ball of light to travel to rest above the top of your head.

Feel the crown of your head open.

Allow that light to enter.

Permeating and filling your entire being from the top of the head down to the neck,

Torso,

Arms,

And legs.

And feel yourself sitting as this being,

This exemplar,

Embodying these qualities of love,

Compassion,

Wisdom.

Emanating beauty throughout your being and out into the world around you.

Notice the movement of the breath.

And as you inhale,

Breathe in,

Thinking the word love.

And as you exhale,

Breathe out,

Thinking the word beauty.

Breathing in,

Love.

Breathing out,

Beauty.

Breathing out,

Beauty.

Continue following the flow of the breath and let go of the words.

And as you follow the flow of the breath,

Relax your awareness into the energetic center of the heart,

Centered in the middle of the chest,

Behind the sternum.

And with each breath,

Consciously soften into the space of the heart.

Notice whatever sensations you might find.

Notice whatever sensations you might find in this physical space.

There's a tension or a fullness,

An emptiness,

A brightness,

A warmth.

Whatever sensation you may or may not find as you soften your awareness into the heart center,

And as you relax your awareness into the space of the heart,

Begin to feel the presence of light within the heart center.

And as you soften into the light,

Feel the light begin to expand,

Filling the heart center,

Expanding to fill the chest and the torso,

Expanding throughout the arms and the legs,

The neck and the head.

Until you feel this light throughout your entire being.

Relax into this light.

Relax into this light.

And bring the awareness and the light to focus in the energetic center of the lower abdomen.

Focus and concentrate.

So there is a magnet pulling all of the awareness towards it.

Feel the sensation of being grounded in the physicality of the body and the lower dantien.

Feel the sensation of being grounded in the physicality of the body and the lower dantien.

Become aware of the stability beneath you,

Supporting you and holding you up.

And the air around you,

In which you are immersed like a fish in water.

Become aware of the natural movement of the breath,

Connecting within and without.

Maintaining a connection to the all-pervading oneness,

Even as you experience it from the single point of consciousness of your own individuated being.

And when you are ready,

Maintain a connection and grounding to the stillness and light within,

As you gently and slowly begin to open your eyes,

Taking in the world around you.

Seeing the beauty that is always right here,

Right now.

We have an entire universe within us.

In my perspective,

This is our primary responsibility.

To take full accountability for our experiences,

Our thoughts,

Our emotions.

To not look around us in the world for a reason for why we feel the way that we feel.

We have the ability to create our own happiness or unhappiness.

Knowing ourselves more deeply is the path to discovering our true power and to bringing forth the beauty that we have within.

It is the road to peace,

To happiness,

And to living a worthwhile and meaningful life.

It is the road to realizing that we are so much more than these seemingly limited,

Individuated beings.

That in fact,

We are everyone and no one,

Everything and nothing,

Simultaneously.

As we bring forth beauty into the world,

It is virtuous and virtue expressed is beautiful.

And this naturally gives rise to happiness.

Thank you all for joining me today.

Reviews

An very interesting talk about the human construct of happiness, virtue, from the point of view of some schools of thought, such as stoicism. I will listen it again “there is much food for thought”… thank you , all the best.

To me, accepting what is in my reality and following what I feel is right is also a choice in how I deal with the people and world around me. This choice is not without consequences. And these consequences limit my courage to follow the path I know is right.

I am ever grateful for this meditation. Thank you with my entire being

The quotes, the discussion so relateable, the simplicity, the guidance inwardly rather than externally, and ultimately the choice of happiness. So powerful and beautiful! Thank you 🙏🏼 Thomas! 💗

Choosing Beauty!
Towards the One forming the embodiment of LOVE✨❤️‍🔥
🙏🏻

All that you say here is so important, essential. I listened to it twice and took notes. I will keep on listening often, I want to be reminded. Meditation practice by choice, creates “muscle memory”….that’s so true! Thank you for calm voice and pace🌷

🙏🙏💕 The meditation was so powerful! You are truly an inspiring person Thomas! The notion of the purety of intention is a great guide for all our actions, thanks for the teachings. *You made me laugh with the anecdote of the back flip! 😄

Thank you for this Thomas, it resonated deeply.
🙏 Namaste 🙇🏻‍♀️

Beautiful teaching! I will be exploring your other talks and meditations and greatly appreciate the incredible gift you are sharing with all of us ....... 💖
🙏 🙌 🙏

Beautiful insightful and enlightening talk as always...But this guided meditation in particular worked well with me...Connecting the light from the crown to the Dantien to give grounding within.
✨Brilliant!✨😌
Brought about a stability with the light and understanding of the beauty within...
Thankyou Thomas...💙Namaste my friend....🙏

You make my days brighter Thomas 🙏🏻

Talk about divinely ordained...😌just exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, Thomas. Sending love and appreciation.🙏

Thank you again Thomas. A wonderful class and meditation.