Welcome to your power of no meditation.
By now you're probably set up in your Zen den or your sacred space.
Close the door,
Turn off your phone,
Get out your lavender,
Light a candle,
Get yourself in a really comfortable position and let's begin.
Start by gently closing your eyes and consciously relaxing your body into the bed or the couch or the chair,
Whatever you're sitting on.
And as your body relaxes,
Intend to relax your mind as well.
As your body rests,
Just allow your mind to feel tranquil,
Peaceful and serene.
In most meditations,
We're actually going into that space between waking and sleeping so that your mind and your ego mind is actually relaxed.
So to experience the state fully,
Just want you to focus your attention on your breath.
Just feel the subtle energy of the breath flowing into your body with the inhalation and just allow the breath to draw into that space of stillness that resides within you.
With each breath,
Allow yourself to fully relax into this space of stillness.
During meditation,
You become more aware of the stillness and silence,
This place of perfect peace that exists within you.
So hopefully as you're doing these meditations,
You're actually touching that place of stillness and silence so you can remember what it feels like and you can get yourself back here.
So let's just continue to focus on the breathing for another minute or so.
Now we're breathing in slowly to the count of four,
Hold it at the top for a count of two and exhale for a count of four.
In,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Hold,
One,
Two,
And release,
Two,
Three.
Do another two rounds of that breathing.
And now that your body and your mind are totally and completely relaxed,
It's easy for you to visualize with perfect clarity.
And in today's meditation,
We're exploring the power that saying no actually possesses for you.
Keeping your eyes gently closed,
I want you to visualize or imagine how you are in your daily life.
Is it easy for you to say no?
To say don't call me again to someone?
Is it easy for you to say no to friends?
To say no to colleagues?
To say no to your boss or even to your teenagers?
Or do you find it very,
Very difficult to say no?
No is really misunderstood.
A lot of times no becomes associated with negativity and it really isn't.
So much of the time when you master the art of saying no to what you don't want to do,
You're actually saying yes to you.
You're actually saying yes to your life,
To your desires,
To your heart.
And this isn't to say that we can say no to everything we don't want to do if we have relationships or children or parents or siblings.
This is to say that you have a choice all the time.
And if you choose to say yes,
That's okay.
But I don't want the yes to be reflexive,
To be reactive out of fear.
Because so much of the time we say yes because we're afraid to be rejected or we're afraid of what other people are going to think about us.
I want you to really start letting it come into your mind.
How often do you say yes when you really want to say no?
When you think about no,
No is a perfect way to draw boundaries with people in your life.
You are telling someone something about you by saying,
Count me out.
Maybe because you're not comfortable,
Or because it's not what you agreed to do,
Or because you simply don't want to do it.
You can say no lovingly.
You can say no thank you and make yourself a priority if you really don't want to do something.
The power of no goes far beyond just not doing things that you don't want to do.
No really says this is who I am.
This is what I value.
This is what I will and will not do.
This is how I choose to act.
When you really think about it,
We love other people.
We give to others.
We cooperate with others.
We want to please the people in our life.
But we are always,
And at the core of it all,
Distinct and separate people.
We need no because it helps us carve out the space to support our separateness.
We are the agents of our own limits.
And that's what we use no for.
So I want you to really think about the fact that no is not a four-letter word.
And when we say yes,
When we really want to say no,
We're not being nice.
We're just being dishonest.
By giving yourself permission to say no when you want to say no,
Your yes means so much more.
Because it's authentic.
When we say yes when we want to say no,
It's not only inauthentic,
It sets us up to have the martyr complex.
So as you're in this deep relaxation,
I want you to visualize yourself whatever situations you have right now that you feel that no is what you want to say but you're afraid to say.
When you're done with today's meditation,
Write down those situations and think about different ways that you can say no that feels okay to you.
In the beginning,
If you're not good at saying no,
And if you don't say no a lot,
It'll be very stressful.
But you can do it.
And you can do it by buying time.
That's okay.
If someone says,
Can you come on this date?
You can say,
I'm not sure I need to check with so and so.
I'm not sure I don't have my calendar right now.
Buy time.
And then come back and say no.
Because you being able to say no to who you don't want to be with,
To things you don't want to do,
Sets you up to create a life you love,
Filled with joy,
Filled with a resounding yes,
When it actually is a yes,
And maybe a hell no,
When it's no.
Take the next little bit of time,
Silently repeating today's affirmation,
Which is I say no with ease and grace.
I say no with ease and grace.
I say no with ease and grace.
I'll let you know when it's time to come back.
Please gently stop repeating the affirmation for today.
I say no with ease and grace.
And bring your attention back to your body,
Back to the room that you're in.
And let's take three deep breaths in through the nose,
And out through the mouth with a sigh.
Breathing in.
Breathing in.
Last time,
Make it the biggest breath yet.
And now you can stretch your hands,
Rock your feet,
And give yourself a nice big full body stretch.
I hope you go out today saying no with ease and grace when you want to.
And as always,
Take care of you.
