Facing Fear: Awakening Your Fearless Heart (Part 2)

Fear is a natural and universal part of our incarnation, and, when it goes on overdrive, we get imprisoned in the suffering of separation. These two talks explore how the RAIN meditation can help us face fear, and discover the boundless loving awareness that includes but is not contracted by currents of fear.

Transcript

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Namaste and welcome.

So tonight is… class is the second in a two-part series on Facing Fear – Awakening Your Fearless Heart – and we're really exploring this shift we can make in our relationship with fear.

So we move from being caught up in fight-fight-freeze to that space of fearless presence where waves of fear can be there but they don't dominate us.

And I thought I'd begin with a favorite story that has to do with fear and it also has to do with poodles and I have a poodle so I like the story.

A wealthy man went on a safari and brought his poodle with him.

One day the poodle was chasing around after some butterflies and found himself totally lost and he was trying to find his way back and he saw a leopard rapidly heading his way.

So he goes,

Uh-oh!

And luckily the poodle noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately turned his back to the approaching cat and started chewing on them.

And just as the leopard was about to pounce the poodle called out,

Boy,

That was one delicious leopard but I'm still hungry.

I wonder if there is another one around.

And upon hearing this the leopard halted his attack and amid stride a look of abject terror on his face he crawled off into some nearby trees thinking,

Boy,

That was a close call.

That creature nearly got me.

So meanwhile a monkey had been watching this whole transaction from a high tree and he called out to the leopard and promised some valuable information in exchange for the leopard's protection.

And so of course the leopard is furious to know that he had just been made a fool of and with the monkey on his back he takes off to find that conniving canine.

And the poodle saw the leopard this time with a monkey on his back and being a smart poodle they are smart put two and two together and realized he wouldn't have time to escape so he sat down again with his back to his attackers pretending he hadn't seen them.

And just when he gained close enough to hear he exclaimed,

Where is that damn monkey?

I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard.

So I love that because our fear and the conniving and planning and whatever we do out of our fear sometimes is absolutely necessary and it helps.

Fear is an intelligent emotion.

It has a place in our nervous system on purpose and it's often called nature's protector,

You know,

It protects us.

And yet as most of us know it goes into overdrive and we get over self-protective and when it's that way,

When fear takes over,

We cannot live fully,

We can't be intimate with others,

We can't be creative.

And we can see it directly as we look at our day and how much we are tensing against what's around the corner.

Have you noticed that?

How much time we are kind of tensing and worrying about what's to come?

I heard a story years and years ago about a monk who lived in Australia and he lived in a monastery really far from town and from doctors and at one point he pulled out his own tooth without any anesthetic using the claws of an ordinary plier.

And so others asked him how he could do it.

Like,

How could you do that?

And he explained,

He said,

When I decided to pull out my own tooth,

You know,

Such a hassle going all the way to the dentist,

That didn't hurt.

And when I walked to the workshop,

That didn't hurt.

When I picked up the pair of pliers,

That didn't hurt.

When I held the tooth in the grip of the pliers,

That didn't hurt either.

When I wiggled the pliers and pulled it,

It did hurt then but only for a couple of seconds.

Once the tooth was out it didn't hurt much at all.

So there were about five seconds of pain.

That's all.

So we hear that story.

We might have really grimaced like,

That sounds pretty horrible,

Probably felt more pain than he did,

You know.

But the point is that if we had been doing it we would have spent that whole time anticipating the pain and suffering from that.

And so it is that the major ingredient in fear is that anticipation of fear.

Some of the unpleasant things we anticipate do happen.

A whole lot of them don't and what's compelling in this and really worth our attention is how many life moments get co-opted,

Get taken over,

Because we have this idea of a future with something bad that's going to happen and we are tensing against it.

And to me it's captured by an email of a mother to her adult son and she says,

Start worrying,

Details to follow.

I have to show you.

The original story was actually a telegram which meant that it would take even longer for the details to come.

So you might reflect for a moment.

First of all the word worry derives from the word strangle,

Okay?

So just keep that in mind.

And you might scan your life right now and just notice is there something coming up for you – it could be a social gathering or a work deadline or something to do with your own health that's coming up or getting worse or a financial crunch or something coming up for somebody else that you are anxious about – but is there something in the future that in some way is squeezing your present moments?

How much are you on some level on the way to the dentist or to the pliers in the wood shop or however you want to think of it?

So this is just a brief scan to sense how much of today in some way was being contracted by the idea of what was ahead.

Now in our last talk on this which I gave two weeks ago we covered what happens when we are caught in fear,

That our perceptions are… it's like the lens narrows and we fixate on threat and to some degree depending how much is going on we go into fight-flight-freeze and so there is cortisol and other stress hormones going and our muscles tighten and our body extremities get fired up and the digestion goes,

You know,

Kind of halts and our thoughts are circling around what we are anxious about that creates more anxiety in our body and our brain because our limbic system is activated the frontal cortex is deactivated which means less access to executive functioning,

To mindfulness,

To kindness,

To empathy.

And we know that when we are all worried our heart is not wide open and we are not feeling tender about others or the world.

So this is for many – again it's a matter of degree – a kind of habitual state and it's a trance.

We are in a contracted,

Agitated state,

We don't have access to our whole being and it's often described as the body of fear or the fear body.

And the fundamental feature of it is that our sense of self has narrowed into being a fearful self.

We are no longer in touch with a sense of awareness or spirit or heart or any of that vast mystery of what we are.

We are a fearful self on our way into trouble.

So the first step of awakening from this trance – and this is really what we are looking at in this class – is to recognize,

Okay,

Body of fear,

Trance,

Caught in something.

And we start sensing the body and its tension and we start feeling the squeeze and we might notice – and take a little time with this – there are a couple major domains that we get caught in when we are tensing against the future.

And one of the big ones that many of us have is a fear of failure,

That what's coming up I'm going to fail,

I'm not going to perform well and then there will be consequences,

I'll be rejected.

So we each have our version of how we are going to fall short.

But it matters a whole lot to us because falling short means we get kind of pushed out of the tribe so to speak.

I saw a while ago a cartoon with these two sharks in conversation and one saying to the other,

The pressure to be great is too much.

And I'd rather be known as the just okay white shark.

So I was having a conversation about this fear of failure with a friend last week and she said,

All my life I have been trying to figure out what my deepest fear was and I just toggled between is it the fear of being bad,

You know,

Being a failure,

Or is it the fear of loneliness,

Being separate?

And we started talking about that and she said,

You know,

She would play it out,

She would say,

Well,

What if I was just really bad but I wasn't lonely?

Or what if I was like completely lonely but I wasn't bad?

And she realized when she really sorted it out that the worst was the fear of separation,

That it was the isolation,

But usually they came together because when she felt bad she felt cut off.

But I think it's really powerful to realize how much our sense of not okay goes hand in hand with them,

We are going to be cut off and removed from any real connection with others.

So there is fear of failure.

And then there is the fear of missing out,

FOMO,

Which many of us really know close in daily of not getting something we want,

We are in fear of not getting that connection with another person,

Fear of not having something work out financially or a chance to impress or gain an influence or have an adventure,

Have another experience that matters.

So we grasp after gratification.

And it goes to spiritual realms too,

The fear of missing out.

I notice people at retreats will be sharing experiences and there is a fear like,

God,

That person was sitting and all blissful and dissolved into rainbow light and I have just been like dealing with my neurosis.

So it's like in spiritual life too,

Fear of missing out.

I remember a long time ago,

It's actually one of my father's favorite stories of two men who they are friends that would have these spiritual conversations about what was possible and really they believed in,

You know,

The afterlife and they were really fascinated with what they would be able to experience and they made an agreement as they got older that whoever died first would in some way send a message about what it was like,

Like what was the experience.

And so one of them died and it took some months but the other one started having seances and so on and finally he heard his voice and he confirmed it was him and he said,

So what's it like?

What's the afterlife like?

And his friend said,

Well,

We eat and we have sex and we sleep and then we eat and we have sex and we sleep and it goes over and over and his friend said,

Wow!

So that's what heaven is like!

And he goes,

Heaven?

I am not in heaven.

I am a moose in Wyoming.

I don't know what you believe but that's one version of reincarnation.

So a fear of missing out.

And then our deepest fear really and this is the fundamental one of the loss of our life and that's this sense of living with the uncertainty and fragility of our own existence and we each have that.

Once again rigged into our nervous system.

And so while we might be fixated on a particular thing if we scrape beneath the surface we'll find that there is fear and often it's that deep fragility of,

You know,

How to preserve me,

This existence itself.

So the path to waking up from trance is to get it okay in the trance of fear.

That's the beginning of waking up just to know what's happening.

And once we identify it then there is enough presence to pause and deepen attention.

And this is where we are going now.

How do we deepen attention?

So we've noticed it,

Okay,

I am caught,

I am shrunken,

I am fixated,

I am,

You know,

Spinning and strangling worries,

Okay,

Now what?

But if we notice it we can pause.

Now in Asian artwork – and this is also the gateways of temples and the mandalas and so on – a lot of the way it's depicted,

The spiritual transformation is depicted,

Is with these animal-headed deities,

These very aggressive and fearful and rageful-looking gods and goddesses,

And that the only way you can get to the center of the mandala are in through the temple gates is to go through a passageway through these rageful,

Scary deities.

And the message in that and the message that we get really in the wise teachings of all cultures are to wake up from the trance of fear,

We actually have to go through the fear as awake away as possible.

So there is a story that kind of gives a motif of how this can happen about a Tibetan yogini,

Really deep practitioner,

Her name is Manchik,

And I heard about this story through Sultrim Alioni,

Some of you may know her,

Wonderful contemporary Tibetan teacher,

She is really great.

And so the way the story goes,

Manchik hundreds of years ago,

And she is again in this… she'd go into these deep meditative absorptions and as the story goes she floated during that meditative experience to a tree,

Up into a tree that was at the edge of a lake,

And the lake belonged to a fierce Naga king and a Naga is a water spirit,

Okay,

So there she is in the Naga king's territory meditating on the top of a tree.

And infuriated by her disrespect of his territory the Naga gathers this great army of fierce and wild Nagas and they mount an attack on this single naked girl sitting in total equanimity in this tree.

So rather than fleeing or attacking,

Manchik instead turns and she offers her body and her being as food to the Nagas.

And they are stunned and then they vow their allegiance and eternal protection to her.

So this is the seminal story of what's called feeding rather than fighting your fears.

And it's described as feeding your demons.

So the deep teaching here is that when there is fear and we resist it – and by resist I mean we ignore it,

We judge it,

We numb it,

We do everything that we know we do,

All our strategies not to sit with our fear – fear times resistance equals suffering.

It's a kind of faux equation but it's actually a very wise one that to the degree that when fear comes up we do anything other than,

Okay,

Let me feel this,

Let me be with it,

Let me feed my whole being into it,

That equals suffering,

It locks it in.

And that in contrast fear times a full embodied presence where we actually surrender and open equals freedom.

So that's the idea of feeding the demons and it's actually the kind of key teaching of transforming fear that you'll find in many Western psychologies,

Buddhist psychology and other mythologies.

So I saw one person wrote,

When a dog is ferocious and coming at you whistle for it.

So it's that idea that we don't fight,

We're like actually calling it in.

And to translate this a little bit into what we've been practicing here,

The primary teachings we've been exploring when difficulty comes up,

Meet it with mindfulness and compassion.

And we have the RAIN acronym as a way to guide us through that.

And so it is that when we do our relationship to the fear shifts.

And imagine fear is a demon,

It's like this twisted torqued energy in us,

That when we meet fear with presence and with care it untwists and the demon turns into what's called a daemon,

D-A-E-M-O-N.

And a daemon is the Greek origin of demon which is a guiding spirit.

And this is really an important understanding that we don't just face and process fear,

That when we face it and process it the fear which seemed like a demon becomes a guiding spirit,

That energy shifts and it actually serves us.

It's still energy but it's freed up energy and it's got a wisdom and a guidance to it.

So I want to share a story with you that really touched me on seeing the shift that's possible and then we'll actually land up tonight giving you a chance to pick something you'd like to work with to see,

Just get a taste of it,

How it can work.

But this was…Amano came to retreats and practiced in our community for a number of years.

He was a public defender and he carried a very,

Very large load of low-income clients,

Completely underfunded department as you can imagine,

And he had a lot of anxiety about not performing well,

About failure,

About his reputation,

About looking bad,

Mostly failing his clients because the system is so rigged against the poor and so he was fighting against that and so he had a lot of reaction.

So we did the RAIN process which is mindfulness and compassion,

Bringing it to the demons.

And RAIN for those of you that are not familiar quite simply is R is recognize,

A is allow,

I is investigate and then the N is nurture,

Feeding the demons,

And then you just rest in presence.

So we practiced that.

And with the R he recognized he was feeling anger and fear,

You know,

At what was going on in his department and with his clients.

And the A allow means like you are recognizing you are in a trance and A means that you let it be there,

You don't try to bury it or do something else or judge it,

You just give it space.

It's a pause,

Okay?

And that's what he did.

And then with the I he started investigating,

Okay,

What's going on in here?

And he had a belief he was going to fail and he said it was like this malevolent inner hiss where he'd hear a voice saying,

You are screwing up,

You know,

You are blowing it,

You are going to mess up,

You are not going to win,

You are going to fail.

And then when I asked him what most wanted attention as he was investigating he felt the squeeze and twisting pressure in his throat and his heart.

And then I said,

Is this familiar?

And he said,

Well,

The image that comes up is like a python that's strangling me.

Now I want to note here that when you are doing RAIN,

When you are investigating,

Some people may have very rich imagery,

Some people might not have any at all.

It's okay if you don't have some demon spring up in your imagination,

You can still do the process.

But this was very… I thought this was very… this illustrates how it can work.

So he had this kind of image and sense of being strangled,

Okay,

And as he was investigating I said,

What is this thing that's strangling you want?

And well it wants acceptance because it's trying to help me.

So keep in mind it doesn't always seem like it makes sense but somehow this strangling python was trying to help him.

So it wants to be accepted.

And so I said,

What does it really need to feel accepted that I love it?

Okay,

So there you are.

So that's when he imagined offering love to the python and it was really difficult because when you are being strangled by a python it's hard to feel intimately tender towards it.

So for him what helped was… because now we are entering the N of RAIN which is Nurture,

He had an Akito teacher who really a steady,

Caring,

Trustworthy being and he imagined his teacher just putting his hands on his shoulders.

And so when his teacher could do that then he could start to sense his teacher's caring kind of flowing into the python and then his own caring and things loosened.

That strangling ceased to be strangling and afterwards he felt this very open,

Caring presence.

This was his practice.

Every time he would start getting agitated about failure and feeling angry in his job and so on that he could – and he couldn't do it during the day but he did it on the sidelines when he had time – he would recognize what was going on,

He would allow that… he would feel that kind of strangling feeling,

You know,

He would sense the feeling of going to fail and the strangling,

He would feel his teacher's hands on his shoulders and he would offer care and the python gradually transformed to being just an energy in that area of the throat and the heart that was very clear and alive and warm and passionate and he described months later that that malevolent hiss that he had heard all his life saying you are blowing it turned into this kind of soft whisper that said,

You know,

Remember what matters,

Remember what you care about,

Trust in the power of your caring.

It was a wisdom message.

So his demon,

That strangling python of fear,

Turned into a daemon – I am not sure if I am pronouncing it right but I think you know what I am talking about – a spirit that was guiding him to trust his caring.

Really beautiful.

I have seen again and again that when we are willing to face the energies in us that we typically run away from or fight those energies shift and become allies.

I have seen it again and again.

So some,

As I mentioned,

The visualizing can be helpful when you are investigating the fear if there is some image that comes,

Great,

That can help to deepen the intimate contact with it.

But what freedom again was these two basic elements we find in RAIN which was recognizing and allowing and investigating which is really getting in touch with their mindfully and then nurturing the compassion.

So when we explore this,

Meeting fear with these two wings of mindfulness and compassion,

The key is sensing that we can shift our relationship with the fear.

And now I want to step back and say,

Yeah,

But what if you are having fear that is super strong and there is no way you can sit there and breathe with it and feel it and ask it questions.

It is really,

Really strong.

I feel like it is a really important question because there are many times for all of us,

Especially if we have been traumatized,

But even if you haven't been traumatized,

That people will give you the basic message of mindfulness and compassion with what arises and it won't work because the energy is too strong.

So I want to take a little bit of time to explore that with you.

And again I start with a cartoon which was again a great white shark.

You can tell where my fixation is.

I actually spend a lot of time in the summer swimming in areas with great white sharks nearby,

So they are on my mind.

But in this cartoon you have to visualize it.

Here is this great white shark with this huge gaping mouth – you can see all the teeth – shouting after a person who is frantically swimming away,

Come back,

Come back,

I just need a hug.

Oh,

You really need to see it.

It's so good.

Okay,

So the key thing to know when there is trauma or really strong fear is rather than attempting to pause and go inside and be with it – in other words,

You know,

Remember the mandala and going through the fearful deities,

The animal-headed monsters and goddesses – don't do that.

First you have to take some time to do whatever resourcing you can that can help stabilize and calm and bring balance to your body-mind.

And I found this in my own life,

You know,

Kind of metaphorically through kayaking which I do a lot on the Potomac River.

And mostly it's gentle currents but now and then there is these areas where there is little white water and it can get tippy and so on.

And one of the tricks when you are moving along in your kayak and the flow is really strong – for me if I get tired or anxious or off balance or whatever – is just go right in front of one of the big rocks because the current rushes around the sides and that's a still area.

And I can rest and I can catch my breath and I can look at the river and decide how I am going to navigate and so on.

I can regain perspective.

And when we are hit by fear we need to find our way to a at least somewhat more balanced calm place.

We need to basically increase our parasympathetic nervous system and decrease the activity of our sympathetic nervous system.

And there are a number of ways of doing that.

And I want to name some of those ways because you don't have to wait for a therapy session or for anything to know there are ways you can quiet yourself and calm fear.

There are a number of ways that have to do with breathing.

One is called coherence breathing and it simply means do a match-breath of maybe five count in-breath and a five count out-breath.

It's long deep breathing but matching the in-breath and the out-breath if you do it for a few minutes to some degree you will quiet down.

Grounding means right as you are sitting here right now and you can close your eyes and feel it just feel the weight of your body on your chair.

Feel that weight,

Feel gravity,

Feel that you belong to the earth,

That you are right here on the earth,

Feel your feet on the ground.

You might feel the fabric of your clothing or even touch the chair and sense the material of the chair.

You are here,

You are on the ground,

You are on the earth.

And if you open your eyes and you kind of gaze around a little you can even put names on a few things you see like another chair or the back of somebody's head or the windows up front.

And the idea of grounding is that when you are in fear and trauma the mind narrows into a trance and usually brought back to some other time,

Some other place and there is very little orientation.

So grounding brings you right here.

Sometimes people just look around the room and keep naming objects that they see just to get here.

Another help in terms of – again we are kind of getting behind the rock in the river and finding some quiet – is you can put one hand on your heart and one on your belly and there is a real quieting and a calming that can come with the touch of your own hands and your body.

You can offer phrases of comfort like whatever phrase you can imagine that would help you feel more comfortable.

You can bring to mind like the man in the story,

The Aikido teacher,

Bring to mind someone who helps you feel safe.

Imagine them.

I am going to talk more about relating with others in a moment.

And the last thing I want to mention is something that was brought up for those that were here last week which is really essential when there is a lot of fear is move your body.

When there is a lot of traumatic fear we get caught in freeze which means that,

You know,

Just like an animal that is playing dead we just absolutely get frozen.

And when animals that play dead – let's say a mouse has gone limp because a cat has been playing with it – if the cat goes away there is a shaking out of that animal's body which kind of gets rid of the freeze response and allows them to resume natural activity.

But humans when we get traumatized don't know how to shake out the trauma.

Shaking out the trauma can happen in any kind of movement that it can start happening.

So you can stand,

You can move,

You can stretch.

There is a lot of shaking activities that actually do help.

People dance,

People do yoga,

Do Tai Chi.

So explore for yourself.

When I do weekend retreats or workshops often before I'll do a deep meditation that works on emotional stuff I'll have people do some movement.

Makes a really big difference.

But the most powerful pathway to resourcing is connection with other people.

And there has been a lot of research on when somebody is in a fear state holding hands with a trusted other they can watch through the measurements of the activation in the brain the quieting of fear.

It's amazing.

It just works.

In a documentary on Mother Teresa and her nuns working around the world the one scene somebody reported was in Beirut and a nun was holding a young child about fourteen months old and there was bombing going on all around.

We are getting sirens to give you the feeling of the situation.

The child was terrified,

Screaming,

Crying,

Thrashing.

His eyes were darting everywhere,

No focus at all.

The nun held the child in one arm and placed her other hand on his heart.

She spoke to him in a soft soothing voice with a steady eye gaze.

In less than two minutes child's eyes locked on hers,

His crying stopped.

His breathing slowed down,

His body relaxed,

He was connected and safe.

The cortex came back online.

That's the magic in less than two minutes one heart-mind engaging with and regulating another.

So this isn't like ooey gooey nice fluffy stuff.

This is we humans are pack animals and when we are conscious and our hearts are open and we are able to be in relationship with each other we can help each other calm down fear.

I heard a story about a family with a young son and there was a powerful storm going on outside and the son kept crying out and asking for his parents to come into his room every time he would see the lightning and the thunder and each time the father would come in and try to calm down and he would leave the room saying,

Don't be scared.

God is with you.

And so this happened a bunch of times until finally the boy said,

I know God is with me but right now I need someone with skin on.

So this is what we mean by resourcing is that whether we do it through moving around and getting our body shaken out or whether we put our hand on our belly and our heart and offer a message to ourselves or do that breathing we need ways to get back and get somewhat regulated,

Be safe enough to then be able to move through the fear.

And a lot of times it's a meditative practice of bringing to mind some sense of a loving other because the essence of reducing fear is increasing your sense of belonging,

Of connection.

Fear is about disconnection,

It's about separation,

Ultimately separation from our lives.

And it's said that the Buddha taught that our fear is great but greater yet is the truth of your connectedness.

If you can remember your connectedness to something larger the fear will go down.

So our practices that we are exploring here are a weave.

We begin as I said when fear is very strong and I described the way that we,

You know,

The kayaking going behind the rock and doing coherence breathing are one of the ways that we resource.

And then once we have enough sense of safety then we begin to really look at the trance,

Recognize it,

Allow the experience,

Investigate,

Actually feel what's here and nurture.

And one of the key things to know is that we each have to customize working with fear for ourselves.

At any moment you might be doing the RAIN process and realize,

Wait a minute,

I just need to spend more time nurturing,

Resourcing.

Stop the RAIN and just stick with resourcing which is nurturing is a kind of resourcing until you feel settled enough and then go back to it again.

Again it's really a weave that we each have to explore for ourselves and eventually as we really do get more settled we need to learn how to go right into the fear,

You know,

Feed our body to the demons.

I heard this is again kayaking and this is not my experience.

There are what's called keeper's holes.

And keeper's holes are these deadly circling currents that go like this in the river.

And we've got a number of them in the Potomac River.

And if you get trapped into a keeper's hole you can get swirled down and people can die.

And one friend describes a kayaker who flipped out of his boat,

Got caught in one of them and he was fighting it and getting more and more exhausted because if you fight it it's like rib-tied,

You can't win.

So he took a big gulp of air and he swam right down with the current to its deepest,

Coldest,

Scariest depth and then he was drawn to the surface about twenty feet away but he had to go right down into the hole versus fight it.

I think you understand what that has to do with fear,

Right?

That eventually it's fear times resistance equals freedom.

But we have to resource enough until we are stable and have the capacity to be able to be and surrender and open to the fear.

This is Annie Dillard.

In the deeps are the violence and terror of which psychology has warned us.

But if you ride these monsters deeper down,

If you drop with them farther over the world's rim,

You find what our sciences cannot locate or name – the substrate,

The unified field,

Our complex and inexplicable caring for each other and for our life together.

From demons to diamonds what happens is when you really go right into the fear you discover beyond it what's sometimes called the love that will not die.

You discover something that's timeless,

That's bigger than the fear.

There's a Tibetan inquiry that I think really points to this and you might just close your eyes and listen for a moment.

If everything changes then what is really true?

Is there something behind the appearances,

Something boundless and infinitely spacious in which the dance of change and impermanence takes place?

Is there something in fact we can depend on that does survive what we call death?

Is there something in fact we can depend on that does survive what we call death?

And you might just with your eyes closed sense that as long as we identify with our body and mind – that's who we are – there'll be fear.

We'll be afraid of losing this body and mind.

As long as we identify as a separate self,

Fear is the primal mood of the separate self.

And yet we intuit that we're something more,

We intuit that we belong to something larger.

And realizing that larger belonging is the pathway to a fearless heart.

It's only when we really trust that larger belonging,

When we trust we're the ocean,

We're not afraid of the waves.

So the pathway to that trust is actually by stopping resisting the fear,

By learning to call on love,

To offer love,

To remember love.

So I'd like to invite you as you're sitting here now to explore a meditation as part of closing and to scan your life and sense.

We began the talk with the story about the dentist.

Where are you on your way to the dentist?

Where are you in some way feeling like you're facing something scary?

Where is there fear?

And how is the body of fear living in you?

What are you aware of about it?

Perhaps you're feeling fear about something to do with your health or maybe it's a relationship and some potential loss in a relationship.

Maybe it's fear for someone else.

Maybe there's something particular you're afraid you're going to fail at in the near future.

Being aware of some place where fear arises in you.

And taking some moments for what we might call a light rain where you just recognize it,

Just name that,

Okay,

Fear,

Fear is here.

The shamans say when you can name a fear it doesn't have as much control so just to name it immediately you can sense that there's part of you that's witnessing that's bigger than the fear.

And to allow it to be here.

It's kind of agreeing to pause and let's let it be here.

In the eye of rain investigate you might sense what you're believing.

Just ask,

What am I believing when I'm scared?

Are you believing that you're going to fall short?

That somebody is going to reject you?

That maybe you're really unlovable?

That something bad is about to happen?

That you'll be shamed in some way?

That you'll lose something you love?

Whatever you might be believing with the eye of rain,

Feel in your body where you're feeling the fear and you might put your hand wherever you notice it – your throat or your chest or your belly – and that begins the nurturing right here even though you're still investigating so that's a really powerful thing to do.

Put your hand,

Chest,

Throat,

Belly,

Let the touch be gentle and keep paying attention to where the fear lives in your body.

You might ask,

What is this fear most need?

How does it want me to be with it?

Maybe there is an image that comes with the fear and maybe there is words.

But into it,

What does it want from you?

What does it need from you?

Perhaps it's acceptance to let it be okay that it's here.

Maybe it's forgiveness.

Maybe it's a feeling of being embraced that you're going to take care of it in some way.

It might be love,

Kindness.

Experiment and begin offering whatever the fear most needs with your deepest sincerity – because that's what it means really to feed the demons – with your deepest sincerity.

Offer some words to the fear-place of comfort and offer your heart.

And if it helps,

Imagine someone that you trust,

That you love,

With you,

Helping you to feed and comfort and care for the fear-place.

Just imagine that and let the love come in.

And notice the quality of presence that's here that's helping to be with the fear,

Your own presence.

Sense that belonging to something larger,

To this presence,

To this tenderness that makes room for the fear,

That changes your relationship to the fear so that you're not a fearful self,

You're this awareness and tenderness that has room.

And you might,

From the heart-space that's here,

Bring to mind others you know who might be fearful.

Just think of one person.

One person you know who might be fearful because we all are.

And imagine that person finding some sense of larger belonging,

Feeling held and comforted in a way that could be healing,

That could bring that fearless heart to them.

And imagine all who are here right now locally and around the globe meditating on fear.

Imagine this heart-space could include all of us,

That we could all feel that larger belonging,

That timeless presence that's beyond this living-dying world.

When we started these classes on fear I shared Rumi.

Rumi speaks of night travelers who turn towards the darkness and are willing to know their own fear.

You might sense that here you are,

A night traveler with countless other night travelers.

Rumi writes,

Life's water flows from darkness.

Search the darkness.

Don't run from it.

Night travelers are full of light and you are too.

Don't leave this companionship.

Night travelers bring the light of presence and care to the hurts and fears and discover within them our very being,

The shared essence of timeless,

Boundless love,

The love that will not die.

Taking a few full breaths and as you are ready opening your eyes.

I want to thank you for your attention and presence and for being willing to explore and be night travelers together.

Namaste.

For more talks and meditations and to learn about my schedule or join my email list please visit TaraBrock.

Com.

Reviews

Wow. Phrases that I have tucked into my mind and heart forever. Thank you, Tara. 🙏🏻 Much love. ✨

Superb! The way Tara gets the narrative across is so easy on the soul and mind. This is a really powerful healing journey.

Beautiful clarity on what fear is (to me) and how to be with it. It's simply a gift for life. Thank you Tara.

I have heard this talk before- I think on your website- guess it was the right timing to hear it again. This time on Insight Timer. It is very helpful and indepth and insightful. I ❤️ your stories! Thank you Linda

Thank you for your guidance (and the poodle story 😊).

She’s the best !

Just what I needed to hear! I've been in fear- this helped me let it go

😊 thank you for reminding us that we have all the tools we need care for ourselves

Amazing and profound teaching. I am very grateful!

Excellent

Thank you.

Every time your talk makes a big difference in me. Thank you

Tara has always been a good guide and teacher , explaining things in simple ways for us to work on ourselves.

Thank you Tara, your words are wise and reassuring, helping me to understand and feel empowered and less isolated. I am grateful for your work.

What beautiful and thoughtful program. And I thought fear was my enemy.....but still concerned about sharks.namaste.

So good. Thank you. Namaste.

Amazing thank you so much 💙

Transformative. ..thank you and blessings.

Dear Tara, thank you for the compass points of R.A.I.N. Sending good wishes with gratitude

So much truth and wisdom - Thank you Thank you Thank you.