Hi everyone this is Shrimanjakar Gaddo bringing you with series 3 mindfulness for children.
So in the previous episodes of 19 and 20 we covered how we can teach children mindfulness and practice as a family and also what we can learn from them as well.
So here in this series I'm going to share about how we can bond using the mindfulness techniques.
So these are going to be very much useful for the parents or going to be parents or adults or caretakers and also anyone having children around like nieces,
Nephews,
It could be cousins,
It could be younger children.
So it is going to be very useful and helpful if we just observe or take in what resonates with you and see how we can implement it.
Some adults bond with children instantaneously whereas others will take more time on some occasions so do watch out for sometimes as adults we live in our own head space and find it difficult to bond with children.
In all fairness there is a lot going on these days and in targets we are setting for ourselves.
The key is not to be stressed about it but rather taking a slight step backward to be able to step into stress free time with the children to share some fun times together.
So here I'm going to share 5 mindfulness techniques to encourage bonding with the children.
So as we bond better it also is going to be a stronger relationship and also it will help us to be connecting to our own inner child and to be loosening up ourselves as well and even though it's for the children I definitely would encourage you to be listening into and practicing it for yourself as well.
So the first one is listen.
Listening is the most important skill set as a parent to be present and just listen.
If the child's speech is not clear or it's a gobbledygook even as a young child they know and sense you are listening.
If you can spend at least a minimum of 10 minutes with the child in an attentive way the relationship is going to have a strong bond even in the long term.
Stay away from your distractions like your gadgets or multitasking and just spend 10 minutes that's it like you know being attentive to listen to them.
For instance with my children I tend to spend quality time with them in the mornings when I wake them.
They are fresh and ready to share so much information.
It's fascinating to hear their dreams imaginations before getting into a busy routine and this could also be done at the breakfast table as some parents choose to bond in the evening after school or the college and at the dinner table or before bedtime but make sure no gadgets are there so you're not being distracted.
The choice is ours depending on our individual lifestyle or specific times we have with them and remember these memories will last a lifetime and also it gives you something to hold on to as they grow up.
Think about the bonding they share with their grandparents.
The relationship is strong because they take the time to listen to them patiently and it's never too late to start this or to remind ourselves to be more attentive listeners.
We are training them to be a better listeners too as we are practicing it and I believe children learn a lot more by not teaching them but actually showing them guiding them by doing it you know.
And the next one is creativity.
Spending time with mandala art or colouring or craft work helps children to unwind bond or share their stories.
I find out that if I share my feelings and let them do the same over an art table it's easier because you're letting go without restraints and also the flow of words comes easily when you're working with colours or craft.
In those creative moments our bodies and minds are relaxed and we can chill into the deeper parts of us.
I hear surprisingly stories as a result of these activities such as a portion of an old memory or some past emotion that was bothering them has spilled out but in a gentle way.
And definitely it helped with my own children as like what's your day like I wouldn't get a response but I bring them to the art table and do the craft with them and then what was your day like the same question I get loads of information out of them as they are relaxed into.
And with these moments you can truly get in touch with their little strong person who has their own views and opinions as well and creates this communication as this builds their personality and confidence too.
And again my own children I may have learnt a lot of incidents that are happening at school that has been bothering them as a result of these conversations and this practice helps them to learn to speak up too and articulate it and express their emotions out.
And I can share my own experiences with them as well and they know we are at their level to better understand them.
Something that's happening currently you can share with them or something in the past that we are on the same topic you can share with them.
Their opinions are heard and they receive confirmation that their voice matters to adults and that's the most important thing at this time to bond with the children after what they are going through right now with so much of anxiety,
Mental health issues like you know being known that there is someone who cares for them being there to listen to them is the most important thing they need to be aware of.
And the games the third one games like ludo,
Monopoly,
Jenga help with building,
Focusing and team strengths.
Partner up with your children and bring along the teamwork maybe bring some board games.
Small games make way to the heart between me and my husband we take turns with our strengths as to who will be on the floor with the children.
My strength is with our stuff and his strength is in the games.
The more mindful we are of our strengths the better quality time we can spend with them.
Outdoor activities are great too as we are all connecting with the nature and by taking mindful walks and to notice what's around and beneath us maybe collect the foliage like you know observe the trees,
Observe the clouds,
Like make faces with the clouds.
Yeah this gives us a chance to slow down calm our lives and take a break from the busy schedules.
So this is again like a very important building the bond with our children by just simply spending time to do some games.
Again if you can't do it frequently maybe assign yourself maybe the first Saturday of every month you're going to do this like you know something that you look forward to and once it's in the calendar you will actually do it because it is actually very important to do this.
The next one is the apology.
If necessary take the time to apologize to your children.
Teach them that it's okay to say sorry and adults do make mistakes too but also we are showing them that we respect and honor who they are by accepting their mistakes.
It's okay to mistake and realize those errors rather than carry on with that burden and this is being part of the mindful of our emotions and feelings right.
I remember the very first time I apologized to my children they were around three and five years old and I said sorry for raising my voice at them.
I was in tears afterwards as it was such a powerful experience to have that release.
I felt good about it after the fact.
Also the situation was that kind like I was new into driving and new road that was the uncomfort for me and they were having a blast in the back too loud for me has to focus and then I said can you please guys keep quiet and that that wasn't ideal tone.
I never would use it and then I just had to park and safely and then say I'm so sorry for doing this and that way they did understand what I was going through I could explain to them hey this is my situation I hope you can understand to make it easier and they were so good afterwards until we reached our destination and this is the thing we need to explain to them what's happening in our lives they need to resonate with us just not you're a boss they are the young kids like you know they do have a lot of empathy they have a lot of understanding beyond our own awareness do connect to that part and I felt so good definitely and deep down they understood definitely my emotions and we too talk about it and today like yeah now they know that if they are sorry about something they can just say it and they can be honest and teach by doing rather than by just saying to them right so here you go and the last one but not the last of least one gratitude my favorite of it if you have been following my podcast for a long time you know gratitude is my key thing my children and I do share what we are grateful for and pray every night before the bedtime this has been a ritual for over 10 years now and this creates a nightly ritual with them while focusing on what made them happy to be able to carry that beauty into the next day this helps us realize we're all sleeping with light hearts and in peace once again acknowledging the goodness around and sooner releasing the harder emotions beneath I'm sharing these techniques from my own experience with parenting and also from my interaction with children and kids at schools that I teach mindfulness I'm learning from kids every day how to bond as there is no manual for us all right even between the two children I don't know they both are so different and I need to learn from them how I can be a better parent for them and we all learn from each other but once we understand that we can we have an inner child and we don't always need to be the one right being the parent or adults and being the strong it's easier to bond with the children just being who you are honestly simple joyful moments is a way into their hearts and they bond with the fun loving child within you which is much easier and remember we all have one and let me know if you practice a different technique in the comment section or message me I love to hear so in today's rush we all think too much seek too much want too much and forget about the joy of just being as I totally have said so here I'm wrapping up for today and the next episode I'll be sharing about the next of the series of mindfulness with children again so until then take care and have a lovely time namaste
