Today we are talking about negative visualization,
Which is a technique that ancient Stoics used to practice to prepare themselves but also to develop gratitude and appreciation.
But if it's your first time here,
My name is Pierros from Coaching Under the Tree and I help people through a blend of coaching and meditation to step closer to their wellbeing so they start feeling a more fulfilled and meaningful life.
So,
Negative visualization.
I think the best way to start this is by asking this question.
How do you think your life will change if you lose a hand?
And I can almost hear a lot of you saying right now,
Why would I do such a thing?
I don't even want to think about it.
And I'm with you,
I totally get it.
Who wants to lose a hand,
Right?
Our hands help us during our day with so many things.
But then,
Why we don't thank our hands for this massive work that they provide to us?
If you live in a big city,
And I will speak specifically about masses that I know of,
You may have noticed the huge number of homeless people.
And when I pass by a homeless person,
Usually I stop by for a short chat and to acknowledge them.
And last autumn,
A few of them told me,
This will be my first winter outside.
And then I was thinking,
This guy,
A few months ago,
Could have never imagined that he will lose his home.
And I think it's the same with all of us.
We take things for granted and we believe we are entitled to them,
Like housing,
Food,
Clean water,
Medical care,
Our freedom.
We believe we are entitled to see our children go older.
But what if by contemplating on losing something that we take for granted,
Could help us to appreciate life even more?
And this is exactly what negative visualization is.
But let me tell you the three ways that negative visualization can help us on our day to day life.
First of all,
We can develop appreciation.
And guys,
I really believe that this is something we are lacking in the Western world.
We have access to so many things and somehow everything has become ordinary now.
Another way it can help us is to decrease the likelihood of losing something.
Because when we are sure that we are going to lose something,
We never put it off for tomorrow.
We all know a person who his doctor told him,
Quit smoking or you die.
And then,
As if by magic,
This person quit smoking,
Even though he was struggling with this for years and years and years.
And the last way that negative visualization can help us is to mentally prepare us for the inevitable.
Because we want it or not,
As we grow older,
People around us will die.
Unless we lose our health and die before them.
And I know that it may sound quite pessimistic to talk about our death,
But this is a great way to transform our lives.
This is a great way to see our life and the things we have around us that we take for granted from another perspective.
But let me share with you my experience from negative visualization,
The first time that I tried it and actually without even knowing that I'm doing this.
And for that I will have to take you back to February 2012,
When everyone was talking about the end of the world,
That it will come on December of that year.
Do you remember that?
To be honest I never thought the end of the world would come.
But then it struck me and I remember it as yesterday.
What if it's not the end of the world?
But what if it's the end of me?
What if I die on December 2012?
And I really thought about this,
You know.
And we all know that at some point eventually we will die,
But it seems to me that this thought is somehow hidden and forgotten somewhere inside our heads,
Inside our minds.
So that day I decided to leave the rest of 2012 as if I would never walk or breathe on this planet again.
And it really changed my life.
I became more social,
More engaged,
I got so many new experiences,
I was seizing the day and actually I was feeling alive as if for the first time.
And later on I found out what I was practicing back then,
It was a negative visualization that N.
C.
And Stoics used to practice,
To develop appreciation and gratitude,
Not for the past,
Not for the future,
But for the present moment where life actually takes place.
And if you want to practice negative visualization yourself,
The only thing you have to do is to set aside 5 minutes,
10 minutes and think how your life will change if you lose something that you take for granted.
And this could be your parents,
Your partner,
Your child,
Could be your freedom,
It could be the city you live in,
Could even be one of your fingers.
Nothing massive,
Right?
But how much it will change your life.
And during this exercise a lot of powerful emotions may arise,
But this is a good thing.
They tell you that you really care about something.
And they really show you something about the way you act,
The way you behave,
About what you neglect at the moment.
And I really want you to think about this.
What is this that you don't do at the moment,
But you would do if you knew for sure that you would lose this thing that you are focusing on?
What if you knew for sure that you only have one more day with this thing,
With your parent,
With your own eyes,
With your freedom?
What is the simplest thing you can do right now to feel more connected with this?
For me personally,
It always comes down to my close ones.
And you know,
Now during the lockdown I'm with my wife and my son 24-7.
And you know,
Working at the same time,
Trying to control my 3 year old son,
You know,
Sometimes a lot of frustration arises.
And sometimes I cannot handle his tantrums,
You know,
His behaviour.
But then Epictetus reminds me,
When you kiss your child goodnight,
Say to yourself,
Tomorrow he may die.
And this reminder somehow vanishes the whole of frustration,
This anger,
All these negative emotions that I may have at this moment.
Because I start to see my situation from another perspective,
Not from the perspective of the frustrated adult,
But from somewhere above.
And I can see that I can handle his tantrums,
You know,
It's not a big deal.
It would be even worse,
I mean,
I don't know how many times worse it would be if I lose my son.
Let me know what do you think about negative visualisation,
If you have tried this before or if you have never tried it,
Let me know what is your experience.
And also tell me what is this that you take for granted as individual,
What is this that you believe you are entitled to,
That you don't realise that you may lose at any point,
Tomorrow or even now.
Talk to you soon.
