Empty Of Expectation: Exploring "Beginner's Mind"

While the Buddha assured us it’s healthy to be aware of all our different intentions, he also suggested that once we’ve planted the seeds of our plans, our practice becomes surrendering to any determined outcome whatsoever – to truly let go, of all of it. This talk on Shoshin, or “Beginner’s Mind,” is aimed at helping us to let go more and more often by inviting us to see all things as new – including all situations, people, and especially ourselves – rather than clinging so tightly to our preconceived beliefs and expectations, which tend to keep us stuck.

It includes a meditation at the end.

Transcript

So as we all begin to head into the holidays and the New Year,

I am assuming that along with our metaphorical plates kind of filling up a bit more right now,

Our minds might also be filling up with various goals for ourselves,

You know,

For what comes next.

And of course this is just a very natural time of year for all of us to do this,

To start thinking about the New Year.

And for me personally,

I've always felt this very cutely in December because it happens to also be the month of my birth and also my husband's birth,

And about a handful of other very close friends and relatives who also seem to have chosen this busy end-of-the-year month to be born.

And so especially when I've been meditating lately,

What I've been noticing is how much my mind has been leaning forward into the future.

For instance,

I've noticed that many of my thoughts seem to involve planning and anticipating and even visualizing how I am expecting the next year to unfold,

Which,

As you might expect,

Also involves some resolutions that I've been hoping to set for myself.

And I know there's nothing inherently wrong with making plans or setting goals.

As the Buddha so wisely assured us,

It's actually healthy for us to become aware of all of our different intentions for ourselves,

Including all the ways that we hope to show up for ourselves in the world.

Really important.

What I also know is that I need to remind myself on a kind of moment-by-moment basis,

Actually,

A paradox that the Buddha also taught,

Which is that once we've actually honed in on our intentions and have agreed with ourselves to walk forward in the direction of our goals,

Our practice then becomes surrendering to any outcome.

In fact,

Completely letting go of any expectation whatsoever.

The reason this is so important is because this is actually the teaching that is at the very heart of our practice.

Because ultimately,

It is exactly what we're training ourselves to do,

Which is to let go.

And of course,

The reason this is a practice is because what it is asking of us is to let go of both our hopes and our fears,

Because truly both can keep us stuck.

And by the way,

This especially includes our hope and fear about who we think we should be,

Which as we all know,

Is the most difficult expectation for us to release.

Our grip on that one is really tight.

In the Satta Patthana Sutta,

Which is basically the Buddha's main instructions manual about how we should practice,

The very last line of the refrain that is repeated over and over are these words,

Quote,

One abides independent,

Not clinging to anything in this world.

I'll repeat that.

One abides independent,

Not clinging to anything in this world.

And truly,

This means all of it,

Everything.

Those of you who listen to my talks frequently likely know about my love of writing really short phrases on a sticky notes,

Which I like to affectionately call Buddha's sticky notes,

Because they're such a great and very simple way to remind ourselves of some of his more profound teachings.

And I want to offer you two of these today,

Both of which come from my favorite Buddhist nun,

Pema Chodron.

But before I offer these to you,

I want to first warn you that the first one of these,

On initial reading sounds super depressing.

It's from a suggestion that Pema once offered where she said that instead of putting a magnet on a refrigerator that says something like,

Each day I'm getting better and better in every way,

We should all have one that simply says,

Abandon hope,

Abandon hope.

Which again,

I know sounds awful.

But happily,

It's really meant to be exactly the opposite.

Because what it's trying to do is to steer us from the frustration,

Disappointment,

Pain and suffering that we so often experience whenever we're holding on so strongly to our expectations,

Rather than living with our intentions.

I also really liked the way the Christian mystic Thomas Merton once explained this.

In a letter that he penned to a young activist,

He wrote,

Quote,

Do not depend on the hope of results.

You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless,

And even achieve no result at all,

If not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.

As you get used to this idea,

You start more and more to concentrate not on the results,

But on the value,

The rightness,

The truth of the work itself.

And so again,

The idea is not that we don't dream or set goals or try to make life better for both ourselves and others.

Of course we do.

It's just that if we can use our practice to start taking a closer look,

We'll start to recognize that what actually causes us to suffer is almost always our wanting it to be a particular way.

And sadly,

Whenever we're holding on so tightly to our hope and our fear,

What we're doing is locking our happiness into some determined result,

Like a locked box.

And this not only keeps our minds imprisoned in the dream world of the future,

But unfortunately it does not allow us to experience the mystery of whatever might unfold instead.

As Pema explains it,

We hold on to hope and hope robs us of the present moment.

I'll read that again.

We hold on to hope and hope robs us of the present moment.

This is really important because the present moment is not only all that we are ever given,

It's also really the only thing that's real or true.

Because if we really think about it,

The past is always a dream,

Isn't it?

It's literally not here anymore.

And our memory of it is often not even accurate.

For example,

If you have siblings,

Aren't their versions of some of your shared experiences much different than yours?

And the same is also true about the future.

It's not real,

Is it?

You know,

As much as we like to plan,

We can never truly know exactly what's going to happen next.

And so the truth is each moment that we're lost in the dream world of the past or the future,

We're truly robbing ourselves of those real precious moments of our lives.

And so in many ways,

Our practice is designed to help wake us up or awaken so that we can experience even more moments of our lives without holding on or clinging to anything,

Including again,

Any image or idea of who we think we are or who we think we should be.

And in many ways,

We might notice that whenever we're hoping that we ourselves could in some way be different,

We're basically believing that right now in this moment,

Who we are is not okay,

Or maybe not enough,

Which as we all know,

Can just be endlessly,

Endlessly painful.

But as the Buddha assured us,

Who we think we are is also never accurate,

Because we ourselves are also constantly changing moment by moment,

As is everything in this world and everyone we know.

In the ancient Pali language of the Buddha,

This constant flow is called anicca or impermanence,

And the changing flow of who we are is called anatta.

What this means is that what we really are is less of a solid something or somebody,

And more of a movement,

Or less of a noun or a label,

And more of a verb,

Constantly changing.

And because there is this anicca and anatta,

There's also something the Buddha called emptiness or sunyata,

Which is the truth that everything,

Including ourselves,

Again,

Lacks a solid,

Permanent,

Reliable,

Pin-downable center.

And because this emptiness,

If you will,

Can be really difficult to wrap our heads around and to remember,

We continue to do this practice,

Which has often been referred to as a process of remembering,

Or remembering who we truly are.

One of the ways that we can begin to understand the truth of emptiness is by cultivating what in the Zen tradition is called soshin,

Or beginner's mind,

Which is sometimes also referred to as don't know mind,

Don't know.

And because it's December and this is something I've been personally trying to cultivate,

I thought I would explore this topic in a little more detail for this month's talk.

And so to begin with the practice of soshin,

The idea is that because,

Again,

Everything,

Including ourselves,

Is brand new in each and every moment,

We truly cannot know or pin down anything.

And on the surface,

This just seems like common sense.

But when we start to use our practice to really try to let go of all our expectations,

And let everything be new,

Or a mystery,

This can,

Of course,

Be surprisingly frustrating,

Or unsettling,

Or even maybe a bit terrifying,

Because so often,

You can just feel like we're losing our mooring,

Or our sense of solid ground.

For instance,

As we start to become more and more aware of how much we hold on to,

We might start to notice that we have both conscious and unconscious preconceptions or beliefs about absolutely everything,

Like about how each and every moment is supposed to unfold,

Or about how we think a particular situation is supposed to be or to turn out,

Or about how we think other people should be or act,

Or about how we think we should be or think or act.

And if you're interested in trying this,

I thought I'd suggest a kind of challenging,

Informal practice that I've been trying myself lately.

And this involves very deliberately trying to notice how many of these expectations that we have throughout the day,

And then noticing how it feels when they're not met.

You know,

This can really be moment to moment.

This is a really quick example.

There's a small family-owned grocery store close to my house where I go to buy a few regular things each week.

And I'm usually the only one in line.

And I know the cashier by name.

And it's usually just a very quick and pleasant experience,

You know,

In and out.

But when I went to go shopping just last week,

I found it completely packed,

The store.

And I ended up standing in a long line.

And when I finally got to the counter,

I didn't even know the clerk.

So not what I was expecting or hoping for.

And at first standing in that line,

What I noticed was that I was feeling frustrated,

Right,

And really wanting things to go a little faster.

I was also noticing that I was resisting the present moment in the sense of not wanting this unexpected interruption to my routine.

But the very moment that I recognized this,

I was able to remind myself to slow down,

Relax,

Open up a bit,

And then become curious.

And when I did,

What suddenly became much more alive and vivid were all the people around me,

Which included some children who were playing with one another and laughing and other people who knew one another and were sharing stories.

And finally,

The new clerk was young,

And who I guessed was a younger sibling helping out for the day.

So in the end,

I had a much more pleasant and interesting moment than what I had been expecting.

And I was also aware that I could have spent the same five or 10 minutes just feeling grumpy about not having my familiar regular expected experience.

So,

You know,

That was just one moment during my day of noticing.

A more expanded version of this kind of practice might be for us to become more aware of the thought,

I know exactly what I'm going to do tomorrow,

Right?

But if we really think about it,

Do any of our planned or known moments turn out exactly the way we thought that they would?

They may look similar,

But are they ever really exact?

I once heard something that really stuck with me,

Which is that in Tibet,

Some monks still practice an ancient ritual that involves turning their teacups upside down before they go to bed next to their beds to remind themselves that all life is impermanent.

Then each morning when they wake up,

They turn them right side up again,

First with gratitude for having survived the night,

And also as a gesture of receiving a completely new day,

Empty of expectation.

And I still think about that every morning,

Although I confess I don't have a teacup next to my bed because I know my cats would just knock it over.

But I do love the idea of setting that intention of receiving,

Letting each day be brand new,

Empty of expectation.

Which brings me to the second sticky note phrase that I want to offer you,

Which is also the title of one of Pema Chodron's books,

Which is,

Start where you are,

Start where you are.

And this is actually something I think about every morning too,

In the sense of,

Okay new day,

You know,

Let's try this again,

Starting right now.

And what I love about this particular phrase is that it can help us to let go of our expectations or beliefs about the past,

Which almost always influence how we view the future.

Just as an example,

We might even notice that even if an expectation or belief that we put on something is somehow negative,

So maybe an opinion about something or somebody or even about ourselves,

Tends to feel safe because it's familiar,

Even if it's very old.

And what's familiar,

We're less inclined to let it go,

Because familiar generally means less threatening than unfamiliar,

New,

Different,

Strange.

New is always a stranger,

It's always strange.

Many years ago,

I experienced a very vivid awareness of this tendency within myself.

I've been invited to a large party of about 60 people.

I was feeling uncomfortable because I only knew the host and just a few other people.

And I suddenly became aware that I was standing next to someone I really didn't generally like,

Mainly because it felt safer to talk with her than with all the other people at the party,

Who I didn't know at all.

So it was like in the middle of this big sea of people,

I had sort of unconsciously sailed my ship directly over to this one person,

Simply because she was familiar and all the others were strangers.

I also realized in that very moment,

As I was talking with her,

That I was really kind of enjoying our conversation,

And also her,

But I was resisting letting go of my old expectation of not really liking her,

Because somehow even that did not feel safe.

And so in that moment,

Remembering the phrase,

Start where you are,

Kind of helped me to consider the actual moment that I was in,

And to see the person in front of me,

And our relationship is new,

Starting right then in that moment,

We could really begin again from there.

So another kind of social practice we can use is to start asking ourselves something like,

Whenever I feel certain that I know something,

Do I also tend to feel some actual safety in the knowing?

Do I feel some safety in the knowing?

Along with this,

We might also consider asking ourselves,

How does it feel when we can allow ourselves to question this knowing,

And open up to the possibility that it might not be true,

Or open up to maybe even something new.

A few years ago now,

When I was attending a longer retreat up in Massachusetts,

One of my teachers pointed something out to me that surprised me.

She said that so often when we're meditating,

We'll start placing our focus on a familiar yet negative storyline,

Rather than resting in the relative quote unquote boredom of just being present.

And of course,

We can do that even in our daily lives,

Can't we?

As another inquiry that we might start to notice how often we might entertain ourselves in some way with some painful old belief or perception,

Rather than simply staying with the clarity of presence of what's happening right now in the moment.

We might also start to notice that sometimes we do this because the emptiness,

If you will,

Or the not knowing,

And just feel too scary,

Too threatening.

And so we might choose to stay with a painful familiar narrative,

Rather than let go and risk something brand new.

And of course,

Again,

We can do this not only in meditation,

But with so many things in our lives.

The problem is,

When we're unwilling to not know,

What we're really doing is limiting our experiences of our lives,

And also of ourselves.

So maybe we're missing out on meeting that new fabulous person or friend.

Or maybe we're missing out on experiencing something brand new.

Maybe we're missing out on experiencing ourselves as new.

The writer John O'Donohue tells us,

We all live in a pathway in the middle of time.

So there are lots of events and people,

Places,

Thoughts,

Experiences still ahead of us that have not actually arrived at the door of our hearts at all.

This is the world of the unknown.

This is the world of the unknown.

I also love the way the healer Michelle Longo O'Donohue describes this.

She says,

The way we have been perceiving life needs to be rolled away so that which is true can appear.

I'll repeat that.

The way we have been perceiving life needs to be rolled away so that which is true can appear.

And yet so much of the time,

If we're really honest with ourselves,

We tend to be afraid of the unknown,

Or maybe afraid of what will happen after our old perception has been rolled away.

But as the teachings show us,

The hard truth is that at its very core,

Life itself is completely uncertain,

Unknowable.

To quote Pema again,

She says,

We spend all our energy and waste our lives trying to recreate these zones of safety,

Which are always falling apart.

The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter what the circumstances,

Uncertainty is all we truly have.

Uncertainty is all we truly have.

So again,

The paradox of our practice is that the more we learn to let go,

The more we experience the truth that not needing everything to be wrapped up and certain is exactly where we discover liberation or freedom from so much dukkha,

Disappointment,

Pain,

Suffering.

The late great Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh once told us,

Letting go gives us freedom,

And freedom is the only condition for happiness.

If in our hearts,

We still cling to anything,

Anger,

Anxiety,

Or possessions,

We cannot be free.

If we think about the words letting go,

We might also imagine actually maybe opening our hands and literally letting something drop.

So when we do this,

We're then open to something new.

In fact,

Every time I lead a meditation lately,

I start by inviting people to allow the very center of their palms to soften in a gesture of both receiving and letting go,

And then allowing that sense of opening to flow through the rest of the body,

As well as the mind and the heart.

Because if we think about it,

Just like our hands,

If our minds are closed,

We're not going to be able to experience anything new.

In fact,

We're probably going to relate to whatever's new in the same old way that we always have.

And again,

This is because whenever we're convinced that we know something,

When we stamp a label or belief or perception on something or someone or even ourselves,

That thing or person or ourselves becomes a kind of closed box for us.

And then we're no longer able to really experience that thing or person or ourselves as brand new.

And when we really can take a closer look at this and pay attention to it,

We might start to notice that we tend to experience this with almost everything,

Right?

Even very ordinary everyday things like a bird or a chair,

Or even something as small and insignificant as a raisin.

We see that thing,

We instantly label it bird,

Chair,

Raisin,

Because we think we know it.

That's a bird.

That's a chair.

That's a raisin.

We think we know what these things are,

Because we've saved and sorted these concepts in our minds,

Often from a very early age,

Just as we've sorted and collected our ancient beliefs about things,

Especially about ourselves.

But whenever we do this,

We're actually missing out on the actual real experience of bird,

Chair,

Raisin,

Or any new concept or experience.

Our own knowing and certainty actually dulls our experience.

For about a dozen years now,

On and off,

I've taught an eight-week mindfulness workshop where during one of the very first classes,

We spend about 45 minutes examining and eating one single raisin,

Which we call an object actually,

Instead of a raisin.

And then we just try to totally deconstruct our preconceived notions or ideas about this tiny fruit and experience it as if for the very first time in a new way.

And so we really go deep into this.

We examine its shape and its color,

Texture.

We smell it and we taste it.

We even listen to it.

And then we go even further and eat a second one and fully experience that fruit to see if it's different from the first one.

And for me,

I always find it fascinating what some people come up with as far as their preconceptions about this fruit,

Their ideas and opinions about it.

Like some people remember having it mixed in with some food they didn't like as a kid and some fruitcake or something.

Other people link it in their minds to other things and tell me things like it looks tick-shaped or looks like a big mole.

Other people have had some unfortunate experiences with this fruit as kids.

Like they tried sticking it up their nose and it got stuck there and they needed to be taken to the hospital.

And I'm always surprised how many people have had that experience.

Actually,

It's not just one.

In any case,

As a result,

Because the way that these students were perceiving the raisin,

The particular glasses that they were viewing it out of made them incapable of truly just experiencing the chewiness and super strong sweetness and actual deliciousness of this fruit or object we call raisin.

You know,

It's just too weighted down with old perceptions.

And the idea here is that all of our beliefs about everything,

Including about ourselves and even other people,

Are exactly like this.

They're simply preconceptions,

Old beliefs that we take to be true.

And they shape and color everything we see just like a pair of tinted glasses.

They might color our whole world.

And as we all know,

These perceptions,

Especially the ones we have about ourselves,

Are often just tremendously difficult to loosen or let go of.

We just can't seem to lose those old glasses sometimes.

Many years ago,

Actually a friend of mine lost almost 100 pounds and he really looked fantastic,

So different.

And yet,

He would confess to me all the time that whenever he thought of himself,

He still saw and perceived of himself as a heavier man.

So even though he could clearly see himself in the mirror as a smaller person,

He just couldn't let go of that self-concept in his daily life.

And so while this is an obvious kind of clear physical example,

We actually tend to do the same thing to ourselves in our own minds in so many different ways.

So we have some kind of conviction about who we are and it's really hard to see ourselves as simply new,

Experiencing life in each moment.

So when we're cultivating beginner's mind,

One of the things we're asking ourselves to do through our formal practice is to be willing to take a good and honest look at all of our thoughts,

Especially what we're believing about situations,

Other people,

And ourselves,

And then really question the validity of these thoughts and beliefs.

For instance,

We might even consider,

Could the truth in fact be completely the opposite of whatever I'm believing?

Completely the opposite.

You know,

It might not be,

But it's often such a good inquiry to check that out.

There are also three wonderful short phrases that I often use to question my beliefs,

And they're all from the Zen tradition.

And they're also,

By the way,

Wonderful to put again on a sticky note to kind of catch us in mid-thought.

I know many of you have heard these before.

These three are,

Maybe so,

Maybe not,

Not always so,

And my favorite,

Which is,

What if nothing's wrong,

Is often the case.

What if nothing's wrong?

I also find it helpful to remember that even if we've uncovered our own beliefs and can clearly see them,

They're likely going to continue to arise again and again,

Just like weeds,

Because a lot of them are just deeply rooted.

But the more we can question them,

The more and more they become unrooted,

And eventually they might even die.

As a personal example,

When I was a kid,

My dad used to give me the silent treatment for days and days on end,

And I just never really knew why.

And so for many years,

Whenever I emailed someone with a direct question,

And they didn't reply after like 48 hours or something,

I would just kind of immediately think that I'd done something wrong and that they must be upset with me.

I could almost really physically sense the sort of certainty or conviction that this was the truth.

And then this very ancient feeling of shame would arise,

Along with this urgent feeling that I needed to apologize,

Even though I didn't know exactly what I might be apologizing for.

But as I used my practice to more clearly see this old conditioned belief,

Whenever it arrived,

The more I was able to question it and remind myself,

Maybe so,

Maybe not,

Not always so,

What if nothing's wrong?

And after a while,

This old preconception just stopped affecting me so much.

Now that isn't to say that my conditioning doesn't still sometimes show up,

Because it does.

The difference is I'm mostly aware of this old thinking,

And so it tends to disappear the second I see it,

As if the light of awareness just burns it away.

And so through our practice,

We're being asked to not only use the same kind of inquiry to look into our beliefs about ourselves,

We're also being asked to look into our beliefs about other people.

Because just as we tend to stamp labels of conviction on ourselves,

It's often even easier to project and stamp labels of conviction onto others.

About 13 years ago now,

I had a really powerful experience of this.

So for about eight years or so,

My husband and I had lived in this little rented farmhouse in Winchester.

And then for some crazy reason,

We decided to move to New York City for eight years.

And then we moved back to that same little rented farmhouse,

Which we're still in,

Actually.

But when we first came back,

It was so interesting for me to run into people that I hadn't seen in almost a decade,

And kind of marvel at how they'd aged,

Without recognizing,

Of course,

That I too had also aged.

And that's what they were looking at.

Yet,

I was also aware that my own preconceived notion of whoever I was reconnecting with hadn't really changed,

Even though many of them had been married and divorced and had children and experienced a whole decade of life and change.

And of course,

So had I,

I felt completely different.

But I'm sure the people standing in front of me were also remembering me as I was when they knew me then.

And of course,

I just think we all have this tendency.

So for instance,

We might think about our parents,

If they're still alive,

And consider how old do we feel when we're around them?

Do we revert?

Or did we when our parents were alive?

And if you have children,

You might consider,

Do you see them at the age they are now?

Or do you maybe see them a little younger?

We can ask ourselves the same question about our partners or spouses,

Boss,

Friends.

Is it all possible to see them as brand new right now,

Rather than the time that you met them?

The same way,

Would it be possible to remember that the person that you see in the mirror each morning is also just a little different mentally,

Physically and emotionally than the day before?

There's a phrase that I love to remember from the great Zen master,

Shundru Suzuki,

Who tells us,

There is no connection between I myself yesterday,

And I myself in this moment.

There is no connection between I myself yesterday,

And I myself in this moment.

This is actually always true.

Several years ago,

I actually had a daily game that I used to play with my cat every morning as a way to remind myself of beginner's mind.

And so I would wake up and I would pretend that all of a sudden I had found this warm,

Adorable,

Friendly,

Gray cat in my house,

Like someone had put him there as a surprise for me.

And I would even talk to him that way.

Every morning I'd pick him up very carefully and I'd say,

Oh my goodness,

Look what I found in my house,

Right?

This beautiful,

Beautiful cat.

And then I would take him over to my husband and I would say,

Can we keep him?

Can we keep him?

It's a little ritual we had every morning.

And every week when my husband would come back from the farmer's market,

He would put the cat in a bag and bring him to me in my office.

And he'd hand me the bag and he'd say,

Look what I brought home for you.

And honestly,

It delighted me every single time.

Never got old.

Sadly,

Very sadly,

We lost that little dude to lung disease a few years ago.

And I miss him more than I've missed any other creature in my life,

I think.

I'm so grateful that I never once took him for granted.

I'm so grateful that I spent so much time being curious about what he would do next.

And by the way,

Curiosity is one of the main ways that we can cultivate beginner's mind by asking ourselves to make a much more conscious effort to see absolutely everything as if we'd never seen it before.

Every single thing.

Not taking anything for granted.

Not one part of our world.

The author Paul Hawken wrote this.

He said,

Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years.

No one would sleep that night,

Of course.

The world would become religious overnight.

We would be ecstatic,

Delirious,

Made rapturous by the glory of God.

Instead,

The stars come out every night and we watch TV.

So if it's available,

I'd like to offer you a brief meditation on beginner's mind.

And so if you're at home or somewhere where you can find a seat,

Close the eyes.

You might do that now.

Come into a comfortable posture.

If you're driving,

You might sense your hands on the steering wheel,

Your seat on the car cushion,

Sensing into the breath,

Listening to sound,

Becoming more embodied.

If you're out walking,

You might feel the movement of the body,

Sense your feet on the ground,

Your connection to the earth.

And again,

Tap into your breath.

And for all of us,

We might just take a nice deep inhale,

Filling the lungs,

And then a slow exhale,

Really letting go,

Softening.

Maybe a couple of rounds of these on your own,

Just to come inside the body,

Get in touch with the breath,

The movement of breathing,

Softening.

You might again notice your hands,

The very center of your palms,

And let the palms soften in a gesture of receiving and letting go,

Really opening the hands.

And then seeing if you can sense that flow of openness,

Receiving,

Letting go,

Through the whole body,

The mind and the heart,

Continuing to sense the body breathing.

You might even open the body a little more by softening the skin,

The muscles.

You might start at the top of the head.

Imagine the skin all around,

The skull softening,

Forehead smooth,

Eyes soft,

Cheeks softening,

Jaw,

Teeth slightly parted.

The jaw can relax even more.

Still aware of the breath.

You might imagine the shoulders dropping.

You might imagine the whole skeleton supported by the earth.

And then let the muscles in the skin around the skeleton,

Let go a little,

Let go.

As you're ready now,

I'm going to invite you to recall something that you'd like to let go of.

So maybe some old belief,

Or it could be something from the past that you've been holding on to that's keeping you stuck.

It could be some expectation that you're really clinging to that's keeping you from seeing your life as brand new.

Just pick one thing that you really would like to let go of.

And then as you're ready,

You might just consider what would it be like if I could let this go?

What would it be like?

So if you can really just allow yourself to imagine no longer having this old belief,

Or regret,

Or expectation.

Just imagine what that might be like and see if you can dwell there.

As you continue,

You might even consider,

Would it be possible for me to start where I am?

To start right now,

Brand new,

Without this old belief,

Or regret,

Or expectation?

So when the bell rings,

I'm going to invite you to get a piece of paper and a pen and write down this old belief,

Or regret,

Or expectation.

And then whenever you feel you're ready,

And this could be now,

Or tomorrow,

Or even later,

I want to invite you to ceremoniously rip it up into tiny pieces and then throw it away.

Remembering that you might end up picking it up again,

That's okay.

This is a practice and a process.

The point is that you've made the intention to let go.

And that's really the most important first step right there,

To set that intention.

And so for the last few minutes,

You might even do that,

Set that intention of letting go.

Reviews

Great Talk!… I woke up this morning feeling very judgmental about other people and then of course bouncing it back to me… This was really a wonderful talk right when I needed it… Thank you

I was not going to listen to this whole talk, but you hooked me in and I thank you🙏

Soooo beautiful. I enjoyed every minute of your talk Shell. Thank you and blessings ✨️🙏✨️

Warm thanks for these wonderful reflections and seasons greetings to you 😁🦌🛷🌟