The Masks We Wear ~ Serenity Wellness Podcast E55

Understanding ourselves and opening up our awareness to all that’s within us and around us, we continue to embrace all the opportunity for change. As we are beginning to emerge back together and the world starts opening, this deep understanding provides another opportunity for change. An opportunity for us to look within and identify the masks we wear so we can integrate all that has come to our awareness and emerge as our true, genuine self. Nothing heals when ignored.

Transcript

Hello,

Welcome to Serenity Wellness Podcast.

My name is Nicole White and I'll be your host.

This podcast is dedicated to helping you tap into your full potential of how you can heal and balance your mental,

Emotional,

And physical wellbeing.

Together,

Let's explore our inner self,

Connect with our strength,

And manifest your true nature,

One full of love,

Purpose,

And passion.

Welcome to episode 55,

The masks we wear.

As we've been working deeper in understanding ourselves and sitting with ourselves,

Opening up that awareness to all that's within us and around us,

We've been continuing to embrace this opportunity that it allows for change.

Those opportunities related more to sitting in stillness,

Feeling emotions and processing them,

Even remembering aspects of passion and creativity within us that perhaps we forgot all about.

It's provided opportunity to witness,

To see the reality of our connection with the earth,

Animals,

And the healing they're experiencing.

It's removed lines related to social and economic injustice,

Privilege,

And inequality.

People who once thought they'd always have security in their job,

Finances,

And healthcare are now working through a reality that millions have lived through year after year,

And now millions more with no job and no healthcare.

As we feel and experience these things,

We can move more towards the collective for change.

We're in a space of recognizing and understanding privilege and how deep it runs through society.

Those who have money often have power and attempt control.

White privilege is in our face all over the place.

White men who disagree with the shutdown,

Being able to go to our government offices with assault rifles,

Even screaming in the face of police,

And nothing happened to any of them.

If it were a person of color,

The outcome would have been completely different.

And there are sadly countless examples to demonstrate this reality.

Emotions run heavy in all these areas.

They can be challenging and hard to process without having our own elevated reaction,

While we also attempt to embrace and understand the complexity and deepness of our emotions.

The ups,

Downs,

And in-betweens.

The joy,

Laughter,

Stillness,

Heartache,

Pain,

And suffering.

The connection,

Growth,

And awareness.

Opportunity for change.

The coming together and loving one another.

Embracing each other's humanness.

Building each other up.

Noticing when someone's going through suffering and trying to assist to alleviate some of the pain.

Taking all of this in.

We're all beginning to emerge back together as the world starts opening.

And this deep sitting with ourselves,

These layers of awareness and understanding,

Provide another opportunity.

An opportunity for us to look within and identify the masks we wear,

Integrating all that's come to our awareness so that we can emerge as our genuine self.

Not the masks we're wearing for the virus.

These are those masks we hide behind.

Pretending life is fine or great,

As we will often say when someone asks how we're doing.

The masks we wear to try to pretend to be someone we're not.

Maybe we even put them on as a way to manipulate or control others.

We might have various masks we wear,

And it might even depend on the circumstance or individual,

Which one we decide to wear that day.

Sometimes we might even wear these masks when we're alone.

Alone by ourselves,

Yet continuing to hide from our true human condition.

And the more we wear our masks,

The more we lose track of who we are,

Leading us away from compassion and empathy and into judgment,

Criticism,

And comparison,

Clinging to expectations and a need for approval.

Our emotions then will sink deeper and become heavier,

Which will make our reactions and behaviors elevate.

Nothing heals when ignored.

Nothing heals when ignored.

Who are you as your true genuine self?

And who do you become around others?

How many masks do you have,

And what do they look like?

What are your fears and maybe even levels of shame or guilt that make you feel a mask is necessary?

At what point in your life did you start collecting these masks?

Go back in the thread and see where it began so that you can break the pattern.

Remove the weight.

How many people really know you?

Really know you?

Are you even on that list?

Do you truly know yourself?

A client and I were talking about the mask wearing that we can often do.

It's a conversation that comes up pretty frequently in therapy in different ways.

But this particular client,

We were talking about this and they shared how at times it's like wearing the whole Halloween costume throughout the entire year,

Forgetting to take it off,

And that sometimes the whole family seems to be wearing costumes.

And we can even start pretending to be the character versus ourselves.

As with other things,

We can get stuck on autopilot here,

Just throwing on masks and costumes here and there,

Not even aware we're doing it,

Not paying attention to the missed opportunities of realness,

Of connection through genuineness.

It keeps us stuck holding things,

Carrying them around in our backpack,

Building shame and guilt of our true self,

Giving ourselves a message that we're somehow unworthy of being exactly who we are.

Further disconnecting us from an opportunity to see just how we're all connected,

Just how much we're not alone in our thoughts and feelings.

By being our true self,

Exactly who we are,

Only then is when genuine connection can happen.

Only then is when we can truly love ourselves deeply and not tell ourselves a different message,

Embracing non-judgment and compassion,

Understanding that having feelings does not mean we're too sensitive,

That feeling overwhelmed,

Anxious,

Or sad does not make us weak,

That societal pressures to be,

Think,

And act a certain way are not the story that we have to live.

We might have received different messages growing up or lived in an environment that didn't support emotional intelligence,

Supported more of the mask wearing,

The keeping on your costume,

But that does not mean it's how we have to live right now.

We have the opportunity to learn,

Change,

And break cycles.

Connecting with and being present in our true self requires emotion regulation and open communication.

For example,

I've talked in many different ways through these episodes how all of our emotions are important,

All of them,

And how even anger is an important emotion.

But emotion regulation and communication,

For example,

With anger,

It doesn't give us the right to rage,

To climb that emotional ladder all the way to the top and treat others poorly.

It doesn't give us a right to use aggressive or passive aggressive communication styles when we're feeling anxious or having a loss of control.

If we're feeling sad or lonely,

We have the opportunity and the power to reach out to others,

To ask for support,

To tell someone that we miss them.

And if we provide ourselves the opportunity to talk through emotions,

Then they don't spiral or we don't jump in to secondary emotions or climb that ladder and have elevated behavior.

By paying attention to them and processing them,

They don't elevate.

They can stay in the middle ground.

They can feel heard and we can regulate.

By bringing awareness to create change.

The more we allow ourselves to be ourselves,

The more loved we feel and the more our emotions can regulate.

Think of the internal message that's behind wearing a mask.

So often it's layered in guilt and shame,

Feeling unworthy of who we are and how we feel.

The thought of vulnerability and communication and sharing,

Feeling too much of a risk.

We might fear others will judge us or turn their backs.

Meanwhile,

All along the way,

We're judging ourselves,

Turning our backs on ourselves.

So often individuals who struggle with addiction will hide behind masks,

Not sharing that they're struggling due to shame,

Guilt and fear.

And this just then allows them to go deeper into the darkness that steals their soul instead of embracing the light that's all around them for healing.

As a collective,

When we work on allowing ourselves loving kindness and genuine connection with others,

We then open that space for them to do the same.

We see now some individuals are removing these masks and under them we're seeing more anger,

Divide and racist mindsets.

And although this can be really hard to process and quite difficult in our heart space,

We must see this and feel it to heal and make change.

We must understand what's really happening around us,

Remove those blinds so we can move forward as a collective and a community to bring change.

There's certainly times in our life when we might think a mask is needed,

Such as work or,

You know,

We're in the grocery store or something like strangers,

Etc.

As an integrative mental health therapist,

I don't,

You know,

Share aspects of myself when I'm working,

So I might have to wear a mask when I'm in certain roles of my life.

But in the same way,

I also still remain my genuine self.

For example,

In my humaneness and life,

There's at times difficulty and hard emotions.

And when I'm in my career role,

I might wear a mask so that I can effectively hold that space for others and assist in whatever it is that they're working through,

Pausing my own stuff.

But at the same time,

I remain genuine in that exchange and might even share a crumb or two as it will then allow more open space,

More understanding in the therapeutic process,

But also providing that space for non-judgment and the understanding that we're all human.

It doesn't mean taking the mask off during the session and talking about what's under the layers of my emotion,

Or,

You know,

Sharing depths of my personal experience.

But sprinkling understanding also allows a connection to just the human condition,

Further demonstrating that everyone has stuff they're working through.

My mindfulness,

Though,

Of the mask wearing allows me to then bring forth the understanding of the absolute importance of taking that mask off when I'm not at work,

Fully being exactly who I am in all moments.

Sometimes I'm messy,

Chaotic,

And scattered.

I can be a bit feisty.

I'm also loving,

Passionate,

And sensual.

And I embrace it all with love and compassion,

Regardless of who I am in each moment,

Knowing that as I flow through the changes and cycles of life,

That my true nature is loving kindness and creating that foundation,

Which allows for a genuine connection with myself as well as others in my life.

And connecting in this way guides us towards non-expectation and healthy boundaries.

It's all connected.

There are many different kinds of masks we might hide behind,

Or maybe you're wearing that whole costume.

Allow yourself to be free to be you.

This opportunity the past few months of more solitude and stillness within has offered us an opportunity to guide towards integrating and emerging as your true self.

Be mindful of the individuals and situations that allow you to take off your mask.

What is it about those individuals and situations that provide that comfort and safety?

What are the obstacles in your way of connecting more with those opportunities and surroundings?

Pay attention to what you're seeking and what you're actually doing.

We're all deserving and worthy of being our true self.

When we do this,

It elevates the collective response.

The energy and vibration goes out and assists others in meeting us there in loving kindness and genuine connection.

It channels that flow of sacred reciprocity to the universe to assist us further in elevating the vibration and connection with the earth and source.

We're all one.

One with each other,

The earth,

All that is upon it,

The cosmos,

And all that is within it.

Let yourself remove those masks.

Hopefully you found this another addition to your wellness toolbox.

You can check us out online,

Serenity Wellness Tools or SerenityWellnessCenter.

Com or Instagram and Facebook.

And my Instagram is Serenity with Nicole.

Thanks so much everyone for continuing to be such an amazing support.

I appreciate each and every one of you and I look forward to talking with you soon.

Have a good one.

Reviews

Excellent! This podcast really resonated with me. Thank you!

I love this talk. Thank you.

This makes me rethink if I’ve actually removed the masks I wear. Different masks for different folks or situations. Clearly I want to be received as kind and compassionate but do I always come across that way? It’s so easy with some to leave the mask behind ! Thank you for making me think about this topic! Namaste 💜