The Story Of The Treasure Seekers Chapter 12: Bedtime Story

Hello, beloveds.

Welcome to today's reading, The Story Of The Treasure Seekers by Edith Nesbit.

This is a story about a delightful family living in London who fall upon hard times after their Mother's death. The children come up with lots of ideas to restore the family fortunes to their household and, naturally, get into lots of mishaps along the way.

You can find all the chapters on my profile page under 'playlists'.

Transcript

Hello dear ones,

And welcome to today's reading,

The Story of the Treasure Seekers,

By Edith Nesbitt.

Today is our penultimate chapter in the story,

Chapter 12,

The Robber and the Burglar.

It had been snowing,

And it was jolly,

And so we cleared it off the path.

A man to do it is sixpence at least,

And you should always save when you can.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

And then we thought it would be nice to clear it off the top of the portico,

Where it lies so thick,

And the edges as if they had been cut with a knife.

And just as we had got out of the landing window onto the portico,

The water-rates came up the path with his book that he tears things out of that say how much you've got to pay,

And the little ink bottle hung on his buttonhole in case you should pay him.

Father,

Says the water-rates,

Is a sensible man,

And knows it is always well to be prepared for whatever happens,

However unlikely.

Alice said afterwards that she rather liked the water-rates really,

But we did not think about these things at the time,

And as the water-rates came up the steps,

We shoveled down a great square slab of snow,

Like an avalanche,

And it fell right on his head.

Two of us thought it at the same moment,

So it was quite a large avalanche,

And when the water-rates had shaken himself,

He rang the bell.

He rang the bell.

It was Saturday,

And father was at home.

We know now that it is very wrong and ungentlemanly to shovel snow off porticos onto the water-rates,

Or onto any other person,

And we hope he did not catch a cold,

And we are very sorry.

We apologised to the water-rates when father told us to,

And we were all sent to bed for it.

We all deserve the punishment,

Because the others would have shoveled down snow,

Just as we did,

If they had thought of it,

Only they are not so quick at thinking of things as we are.

And even quite wrong things sometimes lead to adventures,

As everyone knows who has ever read about pirates or highwaymen.

Eliza hates us to be sent to bed early,

Because it means her having to bring meals up to us,

And it means lighting the fire in Noel's room ever so much earlier than usual.

He had to have a fire,

Because he still has a bit of a cold.

But this particular day,

We got Eliza into a good temper by giving her a horrid brooch with pretending amethysts in it,

That an aunt once gave to Alice.

So Eliza brought up an extra scuttle of coals,

And when the greengrocers came with the potatoes,

For he is always late on a Saturday,

She got some chestnuts from him,

So that when we heard father go out after his dinner,

There was a jolly fire in Noel's room,

And we were able to go in,

And to be red Indians in blankets most comfortably.

Eliza had gone out,

She says she gets things cheaper on Saturday nights.

She has a great friend who sells fish at a shop,

And he is very generous,

And lets her have herrings for less than half the natural price.

So we were all alone in the house,

And Pincher was out with Eliza,

And we talked about robbers,

And Dora thought it would be a terrible trade,

But Dickie said,

I think it would be very interesting,

And you would only need to rob rich people,

And be very generous to the poor and the needy,

Like Claude Deville.

Dora said,

It is wrong to be a robber.

Yes,

Said Alice,

You would never know a happy hour,

Think of trying to sleep with the stolen jewels under your bed,

And remembering all the quantities of policemen,

And detectives that there are in the world.

There are ways of being robbers that are not wrong,

Said Noel.

If you can rob a robber,

It is a right act.

But you can't,

Said Dora,

He is too clever,

And besides,

It's wrong anyway.

Yes,

You can,

And it isn't,

And murdering him with boiling oil is all right too,

So there,

Said Noel.

What about Ali Baba?

Now then,

And we felt it was a score for Noel.

What would you do if there was a robber,

Said Alice.

H.

O.

Said he would kill him with boiling oil,

But Alice explained that she meant a real robber,

Now,

This minute,

In the house.

Oswald and Dickie did not say,

But Noel said he thought it would only be fair to ask the robber,

Quite politely and quietly,

To go away,

And then if he didn't,

Then you could deal with him.

Now what I'm going to tell you is a very strange and wonderful thing,

And I really hope you will be able to believe it.

I should not,

If a boy told me,

Unless I knew him to be a man of honour,

And perhaps not then,

Unless he gave his sacred word.

But,

It is true,

All the same,

And it only shows that the days of romance and daring deeds are not yet at an end.

So Alice was just asking Noel how he would deal with the robber,

Who wouldn't go,

If he was asked politely and quietly,

When we heard a noise downstairs.

Quite a plain noise,

Not the kind of noise you fancy you hear.

It was like somebody moving a chair.

So we held our breath and listened,

And then came another noise,

Like someone poking a fire.

Now,

You remember that there was no one to poke the fire,

Or to move a chair downstairs,

Because Eliza and Father were both out.

They could not have come in without us hearing them,

Because the front door is as hard to shut as the back one,

And whichever you go in by,

You have to give it a slam that you can hear all the way down the street.

H.

O.

And Alice and Dora all caught hold of each other and looked at Dickie and Oswald,

And everyone went quite pale.

And then,

Noel whispered,

It's ghosts,

I know it is.

And then we listened again,

But there was no more noise.

Presently,

Dora said in a whisper,

Oh,

Whatever shall we do?

Oh,

Whatever shall we do?

What shall we do?

And she kept on saying it until we had to tell her to shut up.

Oh,

Reader,

Have you ever been playing Red Indians in blankets around a bedroom fire in a house where you thought that there was no one but you,

And then suddenly heard a noise like a chair and a fire being poked downstairs?

Unless you have,

You will not be able to imagine at all what it feels like.

It was not like in books.

Our hair did not stand on end at all,

And no one ever said hiss.

But our feet got very cold,

Though we were in blankets by the fire,

And the insides of Oswald's hands got warm and wet,

And his nose was cold like a dog's,

And his ears were burning hot.

The girls said afterwards that they shivered with terror and that their teeth chattered,

But we did not see or hear this at the time.

Shall we open the window and call the police?

Said Dora.

And then Oswald suddenly thought of something,

And he breathed more freely,

And said,

I know it's not ghosts,

And I don't believe it's robbers.

I expect it's a stray cat got in when the calls came this morning,

And she's been hiding in the cellar,

And now she's moving about.

Let's go down and see.

The girls wouldn't,

Of course,

But I could see that they breathed more freely too.

But Dickie said,

All right,

I will if you will.

H.

O.

Said,

Do you really think it's a cat?

So we said he had better stay with the girls.

And of course,

After that,

We had to take him and Alice.

Dora said if we took Noel down with his cold,

She would scream fire and murder,

And she didn't mind if the whole street heard.

So Noel agreed to be getting his clothes on,

And the rest of us said we would go down and look for the cat.

Now,

Oswald said that about the cat,

And it made it easier to go down.

But in his inside,

He did not feel sure at all that it might not be robbers.

Of course,

We had often talked about robbers before,

But it is very different when you sit in a room and listen and listen.

And Oswald felt somehow that it would be easier to go down and see what it was than to wait and to listen and to wait and wait and listen and wait some more.

And then perhaps to hear it,

Whatever it was,

Come creeping slowly up the stairs as softly as it could with its boots off and the stairs creaking towards the room where we were with the door open in case of Eliza coming back suddenly and all dark on the landings.

And then it would have been just as bad and it wouldn't have lasted longer and you would have known you were a coward besides.

Dickie says that he felt all these same things.

Many people would say we were young heroes to go down as we did.

So I have tried to explain because no young hero wishes to have more credit than he deserves.

The landing gas was turned down low,

Just a blue bead.

And we four went out very softly wrapped in our blankets and we stood at the top of the stairs a good long time before we began to go down.

And we listened and listened until our ears buzzed.

And Oswald whispered to Dickie and Dickie went into our room and fetched the large toy pistol that is a foot long and that has the trigger broken.

And I took it because I am the eldest.

And I don't think either of us thought that it was a cat now.

Dickie got the poker out of Noel's room and told Dora it was to settle the cat with when we caught her.

Then Oswald whispered let's play at burglars.

Dickie and I are armed to the teeth.

We will go first.

You keep a flight behind us and be reinforcement if we are attacked or you can retreat and defend the women and children in the fortress.

If you'd rather.

But they said they would be reinforcement.

Oswald's teeth chattered a little when he spoke.

It was not with anything else except cold.

So Dickie and Oswald crept down and when we got to the bottom of the stairs we saw father's study door just ajar and a crack of light.

And Oswald was so pleased to see the light knowing that burglars prefer the dark or at any rate the dark lantern that he felt really sure that it was the cat after all.

And then he thought it would be fun to make the others upstairs think it was really a robber.

So he cocked the pistol.

You can cock it but it doesn't go off.

And he said come on Dick.

And he rushed at the study door and burst into the room crying surrender you are discovered.

Surrender or I fire.

Throw up your hands.

And as he finished saying it he saw before him standing on the study rug a real robber.

There was no mistake about it.

Oswald was sure it was a robber because it had a screwdriver in its hands and was standing near the cupboard door that HO broke the lock off and there were gimlets and screws and things all over the floor.

There is nothing in that cupboard but old ledgers and magazines and the tool chest.

But of course a robber could not know that beforehand.

When Oswald saw that there really was a robber and that he was so heavily armed with the screwdriver he did not feel comfortable.

But he kept the pistol pointed at the robber and you will hardly believe it but it is true.

The robber threw down the screwdriver clattering on the other tools and he did throw up his hands and said I surrender don't shoot me how many of you are there?

And so Dickie said you are outnumbered are you armed?

And the robber said no not in the least.

And Oswald said still pointing the pistol and feeling very strong and brave and as if he was in a book turn out your pockets.

The robber did and while he turned them out we looked at him.

He was of middle height and clad in a black coat and grey trousers.

His boots were a little gone at the sides and his shirt cuffs were a bit frayed but otherwise he was of gentlemanly demeanour.

He had a thin wrinkled face with big light eyes that sparkled and then looked soft very queerly.

And a short beard.

In his youth it must have been a fair golden colour but now it was tinged with grey.

Oswald was sorry for him especially when he saw that one of his pockets had a large hole in it and that he had nothing in his pockets but letters and string and three boxes of matches and a pipe and a handkerchief and a thin tobacco pouch and two pennies.

We made him put all the things on the table and then he said Well,

You've caught me what are you going to do with me?

The police?

Alice and HO had come down to be reinforcements when they heard a shout and Alice saw that it was a real robber and that he had surrendered.

She clapped her hands and said Bravo boys and so did HO.

And now Alice said And now Alice said The robber agreed to this and gave his word of honour and asked if he might put on a pipe and we said yes.

He sat in father's armchair and warmed his boots which steamed and I sent HO and Alice to put on some clothes and to tell the others and bring down Dickie's and my knickerbockers and the rest of the chestnuts and they all came down and we sat around the fire and it was jolly.

The robber was very friendly and talked to us a great deal.

I wasn't always in this low way of business he said when NORL said something about the things he had turned out of his pockets.

It's a great come down to a man like me but if I must be caught it's something to be caught by brave young heroes like you.

My goodness how you did bolt into the room surrender and up with your hands you might have been born and bred to the thief catching business.

Oswald is sorry if it was mean but he could not own up just then that he did not think there was anyone in the study when he did that brave if rash act he has told since.

And what made you think there was anyone in the house?

The robber asked when he had thrown his head back and laughed for quite half a minute.

So we told him and he applauded us and Alice and HO explained that they would have said surrender too only they were just reinforcements.

The robber ate some of the chestnuts and we sat and wondered when father would come home and what he would say to us for our intrepid conduct.

And the robber told us of all the things he had done before he began to break into houses.

Dickie picked up the tools from the floor and suddenly he said why this is father's screwdriver and his gimlets and all.

Well I do call it jolly cheeky to pick a man's locks with his own tools.

True said the robber it is cheek of the jolliest but you see I've come down in the world.

I was a highway robber once but horses are so expensive to hire five shillings an hour you know and I couldn't afford to keep them.

The highwayman business isn't what it was.

What about a bike?

Said HO.

But the robber thought cycles were low and besides you couldn't go across country with them when occasion arose and he talked of the highwayman as if he knew just how we liked hearing it.

Then he told us he had been a pirate captain and how he had sailed over waves mountains high and gained very rich prizes and how he did begin to think that there he had found a profession to his mind.

I don't say there are no ups and downs in it he said especially in stormy weather but what a trade and a sword at your side and the Jolly Roger flying at the peak and a prize in sight and all the black mouths of your guns pointed at the laden trader and the wind in your favour and a trusty crew ready to live and die for you.

Oh but it's a grand life.

I did feel so sorry for him.

He used such nice words and he had a gentleman's voice.

I'm sure you weren't brought up to be a pirate said Dora.

She had dressed even to her collar and made Noel do it too but the rest of us were in blankets with just a few odd things put on.

The robber frowned and sighed.

No he said.

I was brought up to the law.

I was in Balliol bless your hearts and that's true anyway.

He sighed again and looked hard at the fire.

That was my father's college H.

O.

Was beginning but Dickie said why did you leave off being pirate?

A pirate he said as if he had not been thinking of such things.

Oh yes well I gave it up because because I could not get over the dreadful seasickness.

Nelson was seasick said Oswald.

Ah said the robber.

But I hadn't his luck or his pluck or something.

He stuck to it and won Trafalgar didn't he?

Kissed me hardy and all that eh?

I couldn't stick to it.

I had to resign and nobody kissed me.

I saw by his understanding about Nelson that he was really a man who had been to a good school.

Then we asked him and what did you do then?

And Alice asked if he was ever a coiner and we told him how we thought we'd caught the desperate gang next door and he was very much interested and said he was glad he had never taken to coining.

Besides the coins are so ugly nowadays he said no one could really find any pleasure in making them and it's a hole and corner business at the best isn't it?

And it must be a very thirsty one what with the hot metal and furnaces and things.

And again he looked at the fire Oswald forgot for a minute that the interesting stranger was a robber and asked him if he wouldn't have a drink.

Oswald has heard father do this to his friends so he knows it's the right thing to do.

The robber said he didn't mind if he did and that it is right too.

And Dora went and got a bottle of father's ale the light sparkling family and a glass and we gave it to the robber.

Dora said she would be responsible.

Then when he had a drink he told us about bandits but he said it was so bad in wet weather bandits caves were hardly ever properly watertight and bush ranging was the same.

As a matter of fact he said I was bush ranging this afternoon among the first bushes on the heath but I had no luck.

I stopped the Lord Mayor in his guilt coach with all his footmen in plush and gold lace smart as cockatoos but it was a no-go.

The Lord Mayor hadn't a stiver in his pocket one of the footmen had six new pennies the Lord Mayor always pays his servants wage in new pennies.

I spent four pence of that in bread and cheese that's on the tables in tuppence.

Ah it's a poor man's trade.

And then he filled his pipe again.

We had turned out the gas so that father should have a jolly good surprise when he did come home and we sat and talked as pleasant as could be.

I never liked a new man better than I liked that robber and I felt so sorry for him.

He told us he had been a war correspondent and an editor in happier days as well as a horse stealer and a colonel of dragons.

And quite suddenly just as we were telling him about Lord Topham and our being highwaymen ourselves he put up his hand and said shush and we were all quiet and listened.

There was a scrape a scrape scraping noise and it came from downstairs.

They're filing something whispered the robber.

Here shut up and give me that pistol and the poker there's a burglar now and make no mistake.

It's only a toy one and it won't go off I said but you can cock it.

And then we heard a snap.

There goes the window bar said the robber softly.

Job what an adventure you kids stay here I'll tackle it.

But Dickie and I said we should come so he let us go as far as the bottom of the kitchen stairs and we took the tongs and the shovel with us.

There was a light in the kitchen a very little light.

It is curious we never thought any of us that this might be a plant of our robbers to get away.

We never thought of doubting his word of honour and we were right.

That noble robber dashed the kitchen door open and rushed in with the big toy pistol in one hand and the poker in the other shouting out just like Oswald had done surrender you are discovered surrender or I'll fire.

Throw up your hands.

And Dickie and I rattled the tongs and the shovel so that he might know there were more of us all bristling with weapons.

And we heard husky voice in the kitchen say all right governor stow that scent sprinkler I give in bloat if I ain't pretty well sick of the job anyway.

And then we went in.

Our robber was standing in the grandest manner with his legs very wide apart and the pistol pointing at the cowering burglar.

The burglar was a large man who did not mean to have a beard I'd think but he had got some of one and a red comforter and a fur cap and his face was red and his voice was thick.

How different from our own robber.

This burglar had a dark lantern and he was standing by the plate basket.

When we had lit the gas we all thought he was very much like what a burglar ought to be.

He did not look as if he could have ever been a pirate or a highwayman or anything really dashing or noble and he scowled and shuffled his feet and said well go on then why don't you fetch the police?

Upon my word I don't know said our robber rubbing his chin Oswald why don't we fetch the police?

It's not every robber that I would stand Christian names from I can tell you that but just then I didn't think of that I just said do you mean I'm to fetch one?

The robber looked at the burglar and said nothing then the burglar began to speak very fast and to look different ways with his hard shiny little eyes Look here governor I was stony broke so help me I was and blessed if I've nicked a halfpath of your little part you know yourself there ain't much to tempt a bloke He shook the plate basket as if he were angry with it and the yellowy spoons and forks rattled I was just looking through this you know when you came in let me off sir got kids of my own at home strike me if I ain't just the same as yours I've got a nipper just about his size and what'll come of them if I'm lagged?

I ain't been in it long sir and I ain't handy at it at all No said our robber you certainly are not Alice and the others had come down by now to see what was happening Alice told me afterwards they thought it was really the cat this time No I ain't handy as you say sir and if you let me off this once I'll chuck the old blooming biz rape me civvy I will Don't be hard on me mister think of the missus and the kids Then Alice said oh do let him go if he's got a little girl whatever will she do suppose it was our father I don't think he's got a little girl like you my dear said our robber and I think he'll be safer under lock and key You ask your father to let me go miss said the burglar he won't have the heart to refuse you If I do said Alice will you promise never to come back?

Not me miss the burglar said very earnestly and he looked at the plate basket again as if that alone would be enough to keep him away And you will be good and not rob anymore said Alice I'll turn over a new leaf miss so help me And then Alice said I'll do let him go I'm sure he'll be good But our robber said no it wouldn't be right and we must wait until father came home Then H.

O.

Said very suddenly and plainly I don't think it's at all fair when you are a robber yourself The minute he'd said it the burglar said Kidded by gum And then our robber made a step towards him to catch a hold of him and before you had time to think hello the burglar knocked the pistol up with one hand and knocked our robber down with the other and was off out the window like a shot Though Oswald and Dickie did try to stop him by holding onto his legs And that burglar he had the cheek to put his head in at the window and say I'll give your love to me missus and the kids And he was off winking And there were Alice and Dora trying to pick up our robber and asking him whether he was hurt and if so where He wasn't hurt at all except a lump on the back of his head And he got up and we dusted the kitchen floor off him Eliza is a very dirty girl Then he said Let's put up the shutters It never rains but it pours Now you've had two burglars I dare say you'll have 20 So we put up the shutters which Eliza has strict orders to do before she goes out Only she never does And we went back to father's study and the robber said What a night we're having And put his boots back in the fender to go on steaming And then we all talked at once It was the most wonderful adventure we had ever had though it wasn't treasure seeking At least not ours anyway I suppose it was the burglar's treasure seeking but he didn't get much And our robber said he didn't believe a word about those kids that were so like Alice and me And then there was a click of the gate And we said Here's father And the robber said And now time for the police Then we all jumped up We did like him so much and it all seemed so unfair that he should be sent to prison and the horrid lumping big burglar not And Alice said Oh no,

Run!

Dickie will let you out the back door Oh do go,

Please go now And we all said Yes,

Go And pulled him towards the door and gave him his hat and stick and the things out of his pocket But father's latchkey was in the door and it was too late Father came in quickly purring with the cold I began to say It's all right,

Folks I've got And then he stopped when he saw us and stared And then he said in the voice we all hate Children What is the meaning of all of this?

And for a minute nobody spoke Then my father said Forks I must really apologize for these very naughty children And then our robber rubbed his hands and laughed and cried out You are mistaken,

My dear sir I'm not forks I'm a robber Captured by these young people in the most gallant manner Hands up Surrender or I fire And all the rest of it My word,

Bastable But you've done some kids worth having I wish my Denny had their pluck And then we began to understand And it was like being knocked down It was so sudden And our robber told us he wasn't a robber after all He was only an old college friend of my father's And he had come after dinner when father was just trying to mend the lock H.

O.

Had broken to ask father to get him a letter to a doctor about his little boy Denny who was ill And father had gone over the heath to Vanburg Park to see some rich people he knows and to get the letter And he had left Mr.

Forks to wait till he came back Because it was important to know at once whether father could get the letter And if he couldn't Mr.

Forks would have had to try someone else directly We were all dumb with amazement Our robber told my father all about the other burglar and said that he was sorry that he'd let him escape But my father said Oh,

It's all right Poor beggar If you really had kids at home you never can tell Forgive us our debts,

Don't you know?

But tell me first about this business It must have been moderately entertaining Then our robber told my father how I had rushed into the room with a pistol crying out But you know all of that And he laid it on so thick and fat about plucky young'uns and chips off the old block and things like that that I felt that I was purple with shame even under the blanket So I swallowed that thing that tries to prevent you speaking when you ought to And I said Look here,

Father I didn't really think there was anyone in the study We thought it was a cat at first And then I thought there was no one there And I was just larking And when I said surrender and all of that It was just the game Don't you know?

Then our robber said Yes,

Old chap But when you found there really was someone there you dropped the pistol and bunked,

Didn't you,

Eh?

And I said No I thought Well,

Hello Here's a robber Well,

It's all up,

I suppose But I may as well hold on and see what happens And I was glad I'd owned up For father slapped me on the back and said I was a young brick And our robber said I was no funk anyway And though I got very hot under the blanket I liked it And I explained that the others would have done the same if they'd have thought of it Then father got up some more beer and laughed about Dora's responsibility And he got out a box of figs he had bought for us Only he hadn't given it to us because of the water rates business And Eliza came in and brought up the bread and the cheese and what there was left of the neck of mutton And we had a feast Like a picnic All sitting anywhere and eating with our fingers It was prime And we sat up till well past 12 o'clock and I never felt so pleased to think that I was not born a girl It was hard on the others but they would have done just the same if they'd have thought of it But it does make you feel jolly when your father says you're a young brick When Mr.

Forks was going he said to Alice Goodbye,

Hardy And Alice understood,

Of course and kissed him as hard as she could And she said I wanted to when you said no one kissed you when you left off being a pirate And he said I know you did,

My dear And Dora kissed him too and said I suppose none of these tales were true And our robber just said I tried to play the part properly,

My dear as best as I could And he jolly well did play it and no mistake We have often seen him since and his boy Denny and his girl Daisy But that comes in another story And if any of you kids who read this ever had two such adventures in one night you can just write and tell me