Cultivating A Sisterhood

This is a talk on the history behind the competitive nature of women from society and the beliefs we grow up with, why we should have sisterhood in our lives, and how to cultivate a sisterhood with love, understanding, and compassion to ultimately heal and have beautiful relationships with women.

Transcript

Hey loves,

Thank you for clicking Safe Circle today.

Today we are talking about cultivating a sisterhood.

And let's start with,

I feel,

The two main factors that kind of determine how we think in life.

One of them is going to be how we grew up and how we were raised.

And the other one is going to be society.

So some of us are lucky enough to have amazing relationships with women growing up and some of us are not.

But if you do,

You already have an upper hand.

However,

Regardless,

Either way,

We're going to have society's views and pressures put onto us where they basically pin women up against each other.

This factor can be challenging in itself,

So it's really important that we realize if one or the other is affecting us.

And if so,

How are we being active in changing these limited beliefs or competitive beliefs about women into something empowering?

There's actually a history behind women being pinned up against each other in the sense of,

For example,

Shows like Bridgerton or the books and movies like Pride and Prejudice.

When it came to getting married,

There had to be this competitive nature.

So essentially,

It's really embedded in us to be competitive in a sense.

So don't be hard on yourself because we didn't ask for these pressures and beliefs to be put on us,

But they are there.

So it's really important to acknowledge that it's not our fault and we didn't ask for that.

That being said,

It's really important that we are compassionate to ourselves and other women whether we've been that competitive woman or not.

I really like this quote.

It says,

We're not responsible for our first belief,

But we are responsible for our second.

So don't get on yourself if you've struggled in the past when it came to relationships with women.

You know,

The fact that you're already here shows that you want to change this or you've already made so much progress.

So really have compassion for yourself and other women as much as you can.

I know that this can be a really challenging thing in some ways for some women.

And also I want to say,

Don't let other people judge you for your past experiences with women or conflicts.

So the fact is,

Unless you've been a woman or in the,

You know,

Girl dynamic,

You're never really going to understand it.

So there's no point in letting these people judge us because they really don't understand.

But I understand how that could be really unmotivating,

But don't let them get you down.

And also don't judge women who are competitive with other women.

Women who aren't there yet.

I know this can be really hard,

But you know,

For me,

For example,

Like I grew up with not the best relationships with women,

Competitive,

And I grew up in a culture where women were second citizens.

So it was even worse in the US.

So that already in itself was probably embedded in me forever.

Probably still is,

You know,

We're all working on it.

But the reality is like that whole belief system being embedded on me and then not being happy for example,

Of course I'm going to have negative relationships with women or conflicts that aren't perfect.

You know what I mean?

And I guess I just wanted to share just to kind of really let you know that you're not alone and it can be a really tough environment and people's beliefs can go on to you and just don't let them discourage you from wanting to be better and to grow from it.

Because essentially there's this idea that there's not enough love or,

You know,

Amazing jobs or careers to go around for everyone.

And I feel like that's why we have this competitive nature.

But it's so not true.

I know for me recently,

I know someone who got engaged and I was like really happy for them.

I was like,

Wow,

Like that's so cool that like I felt like it was a win for me too.

And I was like,

Wow,

Like anyone can get engaged at any age.

And that's so inspiring for me to see.

But I was trying to think back at the past,

You know,

And I've definitely like,

You know,

Have had my struggles and I feel like in the past I would have been jealous or I would have been 100% happy.

And of course,

If you have those beliefs,

You know,

And conflicts,

Of course you're not going to be so happy.

So again,

I really just wanted to share that to let you know that you're not alone.

And it's a process.

And we are doing the best that we can to improve those negative and limiting beliefs.

So why should we make a sisterhood?

The fact is that research shows that women need women.

I mean,

Think about it.

How are we going to learn about our bodies,

Sexuality,

Sex,

If we don't have women around us to,

You know,

Teach us and share ideas with?

You know what I mean?

We're never going to get those experiences from men.

And it reminds us that we're not alone,

You know,

Sharing our lives with each other.

But also a sisterhood means a deep emotional connection.

And these relationships can be so rewarding,

So fulfilling to have in our lives and contributing to our happiness.

So it's definitely an essential.

And also a sisterhood empowers us.

Think about it like being in an environment where you feel safe to be who you are,

To say what you want,

To not have to look a certain way.

Like this is going to bring beauty out,

Confidence out.

And also it's just going to remind us that what we think,

What we say matters,

Which is going to empower us in wanting to be leaders and speaking our minds.

So it's definitely like a really empowering and freeing environment,

Cultivating a sisterhood.

So let's talk about cultivating this sisterhood.

For starters,

We need to be proactive in reaching out to women in our past or current relationships and putting effort and time into these relationships.

If we water it once a month,

Once a week,

It's going to be a flower.

You know what I mean?

So yeah,

Just putting that effort into it.

And also don't judge yourself if you are not there yet.

If you only have one friend or none.

But honestly,

Like even one,

I'm sure we can think of someone in our life that we connected with,

That we enjoy their presence with,

That we can maybe reach out to.

And one,

You know,

One connection is something.

It really is.

And they can bring someone else in and then their other friend can bring someone else in.

So in this sense,

Real growth takes time.

So don't get on yourself about this.

Take baby steps.

Building it slow.

You know,

It's going to make it beautiful and grow so beautifully.

You know,

It's not something that is rushed.

I mean,

Some people are gifted.

They have it right off the bat.

Maybe they have sisters or like real biological sisters,

But some of us don't.

And it takes time to build.

And just be compassionate with yourself.

And you know,

Again,

One is plenty.

And also choose the sisters that you want in your sisterhood.

You know,

Choose women who are inspiring,

Who love to be around,

Who bring beautiful energy.

You know,

Bring something to your lives,

Something you love like art or books.

And also talk about how you want to cultivate this sisterhood so they can also look for beautiful women that can join.

You know what I mean?

If you have one person that's amazing,

That's something,

But including yourself,

And then if they bring another friend,

That's literally a group.

You know what I mean?

So start small.

And don't be afraid to go deep and to really love.

I know that again,

Like if you haven't had the best experiences with women,

It can be difficult.

But obviously we're trying to make baby steps in changing them.

But the reality is that most women are really warm.

And when you open up to them,

They open up back to you.

So just really keeping that in mind,

I know for me it's definitely,

Can be a challenge for me.

You know,

I forget sometimes that women are so warm.

Yeah,

I really believe that relationships with women are one of the best ways to learn about relationships.

And you know,

To have really healthy relationships,

To be honest,

Because you don't really need anything from each other.

You're really there because you enjoy each other's company and you're choosing to be there.

And it's really different,

I believe.

So lastly,

Leave our male dominated culture at the door.

This is our space,

Your space to express yourself,

Be yourself,

Feel safe,

Speak your mind,

Explore ideas,

Explore life with each other,

Make it as magical as you want.

The thing I love about women is that they're so abrasive.

You know,

They love hugging and things like that.

So that's something like,

You know,

I mean,

You're not going to get with a male friend.

I mean,

Maybe you do,

Which is great.

But like with women,

It's just different.

You know,

It's such a different,

Beautiful energy.

And it can truly be a place where you feel free and you can just be yourself.

You know,

You don't have to worry about what you look like or you can express how you feel.

And it can really,

Really be a safe,

Beautiful place.

And lastly,

I want to say,

Like,

If you're not there yet,

It's okay.

I know I've said this multiple times,

But I really want to express that,

You know,

To have compassion for yourself and that you're not alone.

And honestly,

I'm on the same boat,

But I want to make a sisterhood.

And I think you can start by,

You know,

Putting that intention out.

You know,

If you have a seed,

You can water it and it will grow.

You can do things like manifesting it and journaling about it,

Creating a vision board,

A Pinterest board.

And you can also manifest it by creating beautiful relationships with the women around you,

Whether it's your mom or your sister or the girl you work with,

You know,

Like whatever it is.

If you think about it,

I mean,

They're all around us if we really look.

I know sometimes it can be hard,

But you know,

Even those little actions that we do with women,

Like be proud of yourself.

Like today I opened up.

That's so cool.

You know,

Again,

Like real growth takes time.

So planting that seed,

Watering it every now and then,

Whether it's through manifesting,

Journaling or cultivating it through relationships with your mom,

Your sister,

Your friend,

Your coworker,

That is something.

So yeah,

I hope this helps someone.

I really,

Really enjoyed doing this talk and I want to thank everyone who has been checking out my talks and meditations.

And this is Safe Circle,

A place where we're going against perfection.

So be gentle with me as I do these talks.

But yeah,

Thank you so much again for clicking and have a beautiful,

Beautiful day.

Namaste.

Reviews

Good observations and great insights. Thank you for sharing this with us. I see you and the light within you. Be well. 🤲🏻💖🤲🏻

I am making conscious connections to create a small sisterhood in the new state I am moving to. I am so encouraged by your talk, I am so on your same page in my last act of my life. To age gracefully as a woman, I need other women to support and to be supported by - the 2-way mutual part is so important. Thanks for such a good down to earth talk.