My name is Sadie and I'm a yogi in recovery.
This step one meditation will bring to light the power within you,
The inherent quality you were born with and have always had but have perhaps gotten lost in the midst of addiction.
The power to move forward with ease,
To regulate your emotions and to be vulnerable.
Twelve step circles speak a lot about powerlessness,
The inability to stop drinking,
Drugging,
Starving,
Gambling,
Etc.
Even when you want to.
This meditation isn't about challenging that idea.
It's about learning how to move forward with the understanding that your addiction was an effort to ease some kind of pain or turbulence you felt and that you were doing the best you possibly could at the time.
Now you're practicing new ways to become settled within yourself.
This is a loving kindness meditation.
So find a comfortable seat,
Either on the floor or in a chair,
Somewhere that you can sit tall but not rigid.
Place your hands on your legs with your palms face up.
Inhale and exhale through your nose.
Tune into the sensations of your breath in whatever way is easiest for you.
For some of us,
It's the feeling of air against the nostrils.
For others,
It might be the subtle rise and fall of the chest or the belly or any other aspect of breath that is most natural for you to anchor your attention.
If your mind starts to wander into thought,
Lovingly come back to your breath.
Keep coming back to your breath as many times as you need.
Bring your right hand to the center of your chest,
Your heart center,
And picture in your mind's eye the image of you.
You might imagine sitting across from yourself in the room you're in.
Gaze into your own eyes and repeat the mantra.
I see your pain and I also see your courage.
Several times I see your pain and I also see your courage.
If this practice is difficult for you,
I encourage you to stick with it.
Sitting in discomfort is something that we learn to do.
It's okay.
Look into your eyes.
I see your pain and I also see your courage.
Now call to mind someone who you know that maybe isn't a super close friend,
An acquaintance or a friend of a friend,
Someone fairly neutral in your life,
Who's having their own challenges.
Picture them.
Look into their eyes and repeat the same mantra.
I see your pain and I also see your courage.
I see your pain and I also see your courage.
Shift your attention now to call to mind a loved one,
Someone who you care for deeply and repeat the same mantra.
I see your pain and I also see your courage.
Be aware of any sensations you might experience in the area of your chest,
Perhaps a softening or expansion,
Or maybe there are none at all.
There's no right or wrong.
Just notice.
Now begins what's often the more difficult part of a loving kindness practice,
Calling to mind someone who you currently have some amount of turbulence with,
Maybe a friend who did you wrong or a resentment you uncovered in your moral inventory.
Notice right away if the feelings in your chest have changed.
If they have,
That's okay.
Just notice.
See this person in your mind's eye,
The person that you're having a struggle with,
And say to them,
I see your pain and I also see your courage.
You don't have to mean it.
Just be willing to say the words.
Expand your awareness now to include all beings in the world.
Know that just like you,
They all experience sorrow,
Grief,
Confusion,
Excitement,
Joy.
They too will go through the cycles of illness and health just like you.
They were born and will one day die,
Just like you.
Picture these beings and say to them,
I see your pain and I also see your courage.
Bring your right hand back to your lap and gently bring your awareness back to your breath,
Inhaling and exhaling through your nose.
Breathe deeply and fully,
More deeply than you naturally would.
Fill your whole rib cage up with oxygen as you breathe in and on your exhale,
Open your mouth.
Just like that.
The ability to be gentle,
Soft and loving exists right within you.
May you remember this always and need never reach outside to ease your pain again.
As you feel ready,
Slowly begin to open your eyes.
Namaste.
