IFS Relationship Reset Meditation

This meditation blends self-compassion, Internal Family Systems, and creative visualization to support you in your relationship journey. You'll be guided to soothe and validate your challenges, deepen self-care, and show up as your best self. Through visualization, you’ll connect with the frequency of your dream relationship and shift your focus to the most transformative aspect of your partnership.

Transcript

This meditation is an invitation to connect to a vision of what's possible for you in partnership.

For many of us,

Being in intimate relationships can be very challenging.

Our partners serve as a mirror,

And the triggers we experience in partnership illuminate unhealed places within us from long ago.

The journey of learning how to alchemize our pain into personal power,

Healing,

And growth begins right here,

Inside of you.

Before we begin,

You may want to grab a journal or a piece of paper and something to write with for any notes or insights that come up.

And then once you've got that,

Find a position where you can be both alert and relaxed.

This could mean sitting on the ground or on a chair or lying down.

You could close your eyes or just have a soft focus.

Now I'll invite you to take three slow,

Deep breaths.

If you can,

Inhaling through your nose,

And holding at the top for a moment.

And then exhale through your mouth.

Once again,

Slowly filling your lungs completely,

Hold and let it go.

And then inhale,

And exhale.

Now bring your attention to your body.

Feel the support beneath you,

The chair or floor or bed.

And imagine that the earth is holding you,

Grounding you.

See if you can let your shoulders drop any amount.

Unhook your jaw and let it relax.

And then let your breath settle into a natural rhythm.

Now I'll invite you to gently bring to mind the challenges that you've been facing in your relationship.

Maybe it's a misunderstanding,

A conflict,

Or a general feeling of disconnection.

See if you can paint the picture in your mind's eye.

What is happening?

Or what are you concerned might happen?

Now shifting your focus to get curious about what happens inside of you when you bring this difficulty to mind.

What sensations do you notice in your body,

Or emotions,

Or thoughts?

Whatever it is,

Allow yourself to acknowledge it without judgment.

You can open your awareness to however this shows up for you,

To whatever degree feels safe and okay to you,

Just in the spirit of getting to know you and your parts.

Now I'll invite you to place a hand either on your heart or somewhere else on your body as a gesture of showing up for yourself and all of the parts of you that are impacted by this difficulty.

You can imagine sending warmth,

Compassion,

And care to the parts of you that feel hurt,

Misunderstood,

Or frustrated.

You can say to yourself silently or out loud,

This is a hard moment,

It's been a hard time.

You could say,

All relationships have some degree of suffering.

And you could say,

May I be kind to myself in this moment.

And finally,

You can just let those parts know,

I'm here with you,

I hear you,

I see you,

I'm here to care for you.

You might also just take a moment here to see if those parts of you that have arosen,

Those sensations or emotions or thoughts,

To really just ask them what they need from you.

Is there some way that you can give care to them?

Just inwardly ask,

How can I support you through this period?

And then just listen and see what bubbles up without trying to figure it out.

And if you get a response,

You may want to write it down for later.

Now it may feel right to stop this meditation right here and just stay with this practice of self-compassion.

Or you might decide to continue forward to explore what's possible in your partnership moving forward.

So if you are continuing on,

I'll just invite you to take a deep breath in as we shift our focus.

I'll have you invite the parts of you that have come up in response to your current difficulty.

Parts that are hurt or suffering or trying to figure things out.

To take a half step back inside of you and give you a little room.

Just a little bit of space.

So that you can connect to your wisdom,

Your creativity,

Your calm,

Connected,

Compassionate center.

And you may want to let these parts know that we are not trying to get rid of them.

That they are welcome to stay here beside you and witness and contribute to a new possibility for a future in relationship.

And if any skeptical or resentful or blaming parts pop up,

Just know that this is normal.

These are normal parts in relationship.

And also envisioning work.

And just let them know that they can stay here to keep an eye on the process.

And you can just invite them to sit beside you as they arise.

And so if your parts were able to give you a little bit of space to get curious,

It might feel good to just give some appreciation through your system.

Now let's invite the wisdom and maturity and creativity of our self energy and the wisdom,

Maturity and creativity of our parts to be with us.

As we begin to connect to your deepest desires in partnership.

Now there's no right way to do this.

Just trust whatever bubbles up in your system as a desire that is important information for you.

Keep in mind as you do this that not all relationships are perfect or devoid of fights or breakdowns or moments of disconnection.

But rather a space where partners can lead themselves with their hearts,

Courage,

Through difficulty,

Difficult conversations,

Repairing and coming back together again.

So take a breath and take a moment to really just imagine what it might look like to have your deepest desires met in partnership in a healthy way.

As you connect to this vision,

You might get curious about what it feels like to wake up and to go to bed in this vision of a relationship.

What does communication look and feel like?

How do you both handle the challenges and repair that come?

You can imagine what energy do you bring to this connection?

How do you let your partner know that they are loved,

Respected and seen?

If it feels difficult to imagine or visualize what's possible,

That's okay.

We'll just invite you to stay curious about any information that your parts are giving you and about where you might look in your life to discover what would be a healthy relationship.

And as you stay curious in this vision,

I'll just invite you to notice how it feels in your body and notice how you are being in this dream.

How are you speaking?

How are you behaving?

What is the quality of your thoughts and your feelings?

Just take one more moment to really let it sink in and you might even decide to connect to a feeling of gratitude for this future vision.

Repeating to yourself,

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you.

Really to just anchor in and begin a process of manifestation and movement in the direction of this vision.

Now,

Instead of asking the question that we often do,

Which is how can I get my partner to change?

I want to invite you to ask a different question and just ask what do I need to do or what do I need to give myself so that I can show up as the best version of me in this relationship right now?

Listen closely.

What is it that you need?

Perhaps it's to fill up your own cup or to give some grace and patience to the changes that you're working through.

Maybe you need to work through some resentments or have a phone call with someone who cares and sees and supports you.

Whatever it is,

Just take a moment to listen.

What do I need to give myself so that I can show up as the best version of me in this relationship today?

You may want to write this down and make a commitment to care for yourself in this way.

Take a deep breath in as we shift our attention one more time.

You've acknowledged your challenges,

Offered yourself self-compassion.

You began to get curious about what creating a vision of conscious,

Intentional partnership might look like and how you can care for yourself as you move towards that vision.

Now if it feels possible,

You might want to extend a wave of compassion towards your partner.

Seeing them in your mind's eye just as a human being with their own challenges,

Fears,

And wounds.

You could say silently to yourself,

They are doing the best they can,

Just as I am.

I can hold space for their humanity while also caring for myself.

Take a deep breath in and let this go.

And as you let that image fade away,

Just know that by doing this work,

You're planting powerful seeds for transformation,

Not just in your relationship,

But within yourself.

Taking one last deep breath in.

As you exhale,

You can release this meditation,

Trusting that this energy medicine is working in your life.

Reviews

Terrific. Thanks!