Welcome to Session 23 of our 30-Session Introduction to Meditation course,
Which is actually,
Wow,
23.
It's awesome.
And we're going to continue with in that our segment on loving kindness.
Two weeks ago,
We started with the easy one,
Which was people that we love.
And then last week,
We moved to the hardest one,
Which is ourselves.
And then in tonight's session,
We're going to explore the difference between empathy and compassion.
And they're similar and they support each other,
But they have a little bit of a different nuance to it.
And we're going to explore both of those today and see how it feels to us as we do that.
And it really starts with this idea that we're with someone who's hurting or in pain or suffering and to respond in a skillful way to these situations.
It's helpful to understand the difference between empathy and compassion.
With empathy,
We feel someone's pains.
We actually like feel their pain.
So if someone is stressed,
We experience stress too.
If they're upset,
We feel upset.
And empathy is a beautiful thing.
The problem is over time,
It can lead to burnout.
We either start to avoid the person because we really can't deal or we freak ourselves out.
So it helps to have another strategy,
Enter active compassion.
When we see someone hurting in pain or suffering,
Instead of feeling swamped and overwhelmed ourselves,
Going totally numb,
Possibly,
Or avoidance,
We deliberately generate an active sense of presence and care.
And in this way,
We can hold it down for ourselves and for the other person.
So tonight,
We're going to try and get a feel for both.
Coming now to sit.
Entering into our meditation.
Setting your intention to be here,
Present and alert.
Finding your way to your favorite meditation posture,
Sitting or lying in a position that supports your body and allows you to relax.
Beginning with three deep,
Calming breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth,
Making a soft sigh.
With each out breath,
Any cares or worries,
Concerns that you have today brought with you tonight,
Fall away,
Melt into the floor,
Softening your forehead,
Eyes,
Cheeks,
Jaw,
Mouth,
Tongue,
Neck,
Shoulders,
Belly.
Feeling the rhythm of your breath as it enters and leaves your body.
Like a gentle wave on the ocean.
And checking in with your mental posture,
Your equanimity.
A sense of openness,
An easygoing-ness,
Mountain-ness.
Allowing that things don't need to be perfect.
Sounds,
Thoughts,
Feelings,
Sensations.
It's all okay.
It's all welcome.
Let's begin by exploring empathy,
Using our imaginations to help us.
Bring to your mind's eye someone who is having a hard time.
It can be something happening right now,
Or you can use a memory.
As you imagine your person having a hard time,
Suffering,
Notice your response.
Where in your body do you feel this?
For some it may be uncomfortable,
For others more neutral.
However it is for you is a normal response.
Tonight we're learning about our own particular responses when we think of someone's suffering.
What happens in our body?
Where do we feel it or not feel it?
Keep exploring this on your own,
And if at any time things get too intense,
Let the imagining fade away and just sit with your breath.
Good.
Now let's shift to active compassion,
Which is a feeling of caring for another person and wishing them well.
First,
Find your own presence.
The feeling of your body as you sit or lie here.
Feel the connection to the ground,
The surface that supports you.
Now,
Think of the same person you did before,
And their situation now.
Staying with your breath and your presence,
With them in mind,
Repeat a short phrase,
Something like,
May you be well.
And you can replace the pronoun you with their name.
May you be well.
Thinking about your person,
Grounded in your presence,
Repeating this phrase,
Generating active compassion.
Notice how this feels.
Where in your body?
Everyone is different.
Keep repeating this phrase,
May you be well,
While observing how you feel doing this and where you feel.
As you think of your person,
Actively generating caring,
While staying rooted and grounded.
The key here is to try and do this in a way that feels honest and genuine to you.
And keep going.
Do you notice a difference in how you feel with the active presence and compassion,
Compared to the previous practice of empathy?
Now,
Let all this imagining fade away.
Do nothing at all.
Just let yourself drift.
And enjoy the breath.
I know I am breathing in.
Breathing out,
I know I am breathing out.
Breathing in,
Aware of my whole body.
Breathing out,
Calming my whole body.
Body,
Calm.
Breathing in,
I know I have arrived.
Breathing out,
At home in my body.
Home.
Breathing in,
I am filled with love.
Breathing out,
I send this love to all beings.
Love.
Active compassion is more sustainable than empathy alone.
Empathy is amazing.
And if we want it to last,
And to really help the people in our lives,
And not lose ourselves in doing so,
Then we also want to tap into our own solidity as well as our caring.
This is an active skill you can practice any time you are faced with someone who is suffering in pain.
You stand there and you find your equanimity,
Your openness,
Your sense of being a mountain,
And from your sense of presence,
Generate active compassion.
A famous religious leader recently said,
".
.
.
From my own limited experience,
I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion.
Ultimately,
The reason why love and compassion bring the greatest happiness is simply that our natures cherish them above all else.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence.
It results from the profound interdependence we all share with one another.
" Slowly,
Gradually beginning to emerge from your meditation.
Relaxing your meditation posture.
Wiggling your toes and your fingers.
Rolling your ankles and your wrists.
Rubbing your legs.
And as you do that,
Rocking a little bit,
Bringing some motion back into your bodies.
Taking a deep breath in,
And stretching your arms up in a nice big stretch.
And as you lower your arms,
Letting out a sigh.
Reaching behind to your lower back and giving your lower back a massage.
Bringing your hands around to your lower belly,
And gently holding your lower belly.
As you begin to offer your affirmations of loving kindness to yourself,
Beginning with the phrase,
I am well.
Hands over your heart.
Offering,
I am happy,
Loved,
And loving.
Crossing your arms,
Putting your hands on your opposite shoulders,
And giving yourself a hug.
And as you lightly stroke down your arm from shoulder to elbow a few times,
Offering,
I am safe at home,
In my body,
With my breath.
And rubbing your face,
Your forehead,
Your eyes,
And cheeks.
Jaw,
Nose,
Mouth.
And continue over your head,
Through your hair,
Around to the back of your neck,
And pausing to give your neck and shoulders a massage.
Hands back to your heart,
And back to your belly.
Offering,
I am peaceful and at ease.
And take a moment to appreciate this gift of self-care that you gave yourself tonight,
And being able to share it with each other as a group.
And take these good feelings with you into the rest of your evening,
Rest of your week.
Rubbing the palms of your hands together to warm them.
Lightly cupping them over your eyes,
Feeling the warmth of your hands on your face.
And as you breathe in,
Opening your eyes into your hands.
And as you breathe out,
Slowly lowering your hands.
Thank you,
Everybody.
