Mindfulness With Tracy Cochran

The Rubin Museum of Art presents a weekly meditation session led by a prominent meditation teacher from the New York area, with each session focusing on a specific work of art. This podcast is recorded in front of a live audience, and includes an opening talk, a 20-minute sitting session, and a closing discussion. The guided meditation begins at 23:00.

Transcript

Welcome to the mindfulness meditation podcast.

I'm your host,

Dawn Eshelman.

Every Wednesday at the Rubin Museum of Art in Chelsea,

We present a meditation session led by a prominent meditation teacher from the New York area.

This podcast is a recording of our weekly practice.

If you would like to join us in person,

Please visit our website at rubinmuseum.

Org slash meditation.

We are proud to be partnering with Sharon Salzberg and teachers from the New York Insight Meditation Center.

The series is supported in part by the Hemera Foundation.

In the description for each episode,

You will find information about the theme for that week's session,

Including an image of a related artwork chosen from the Rubin Museum's permanent collection.

And now,

Please enjoy your practice.

Today we are looking at a figure that if you've been coming regularly,

You may be able to recognize as a wrathful protector.

This is Begsey.

And he is known as one of the main protector figures of the Galupa order.

He is a Dharampala,

A protector of not just anything,

A protector of faith.

And oftentimes when people who have never seen Himalayan art before,

Have never been to the Rubin before,

Come into the museum,

They can be a little bit shocked to see such a wrathful figure here.

Sometimes there's an assumption that Buddhism is all about peace and meditation and in fact,

The light and dark and the complexity and the relationship between those two are very intricately explored.

And as you saw last year,

Last week actually,

The deities can often have both a peaceful and wrathful emanation and equally important,

Each of them.

So we're looking at the wrathful protector today.

The wrathful protector,

We'll take a kind of a look at what we're seeing here.

So quite a fierce face there,

Some bulging eyes,

Some fangs even.

There's some hair that looks like fire,

Flames,

And even fiery eyebrows for effect.

The crown is of skulls and often there's quite a bit of gore depicted with these wrathful deities and yes,

In fact,

There is a kind of a belt of severed heads going around the bottom of the belly there.

We're coming up on Halloween here,

So we're trying to liven things up here for you.

So there's also the sword that is being wielded and I've said this before,

But today I think it's particularly appropriate,

So I'm going to repeat myself.

Often our curators will talk about these wrathful deities and the importance of their fierce action as a protective action.

They will use the metaphor of a parent who sees their child run into the middle of the street and they're not going to say,

Pardon me,

Sweetie,

Could you come right back here real quick?

You know,

They're going to say,

Stop!

They're going to get the attention of the child with the motivation of this wrathful protector,

With this idea to stop that kid in their tracks and really a clear understanding of the danger that is present through that fierceness.

So this is what's going on right here,

But instead of it being about a car in the middle of the street,

This is about the dangers of the ego.

This wrathful protector's purpose is to help the viewer defeat their own ego and when we're talking about hopes and anxieties,

I think sometimes when we go down the rabbit hole of one or the other,

The ego really plays a big part in that.

So we're going to hear a little bit more from Tracy Cochran today about this.

Great to have Tracy back.

Tracy,

Is this your third now of three sessions?

Yeah.

So it's so nice to have this kind of ongoing conversation about hopes and anxieties.

Tracy Cochran is a writer and the editorial director of the quarterly magazine Parabola,

Beautiful and literary magazine,

Which can be found online at parabola.

Org and of course upstairs in her shop.

I think the issue that just came out is all about hope,

Right?

She has been a student of meditation and other spiritual practices for many years and in addition to the Ruben,

She teaches every Sunday at Hudson River,

Sangha in Tarrytown,

New York.

Her writings and teaching schedule can be found online via Parabola on Facebook,

Twitter and TracyCochran.

Org.

Please welcome her back,

Tracy Cochran.

Yes,

I won't be with you on Halloween.

I was delighted to be able to pick this guy as an image for today.

But actually,

When I Googled fierce protectors,

When I was preparing,

What popped up first was mother animals.

I know the world famous expert on danger,

Gavin de Becker.

He counsels with heads of state,

Said there is no more dangerous being in any species than a mother in defense of her young,

Including human mothers.

He chronicled cases of these mild mannered Westchester matrons who suddenly were capable of tearing someone's throat out just instinctively.

But again,

That might sound like kind of a harsh image for if you came in here for a little bit of peace and quiet.

But the larger point,

As I reflect on it,

Is how can we have a feeling of protection in these times?

And it might not just be in the external world.

In your home,

You might have somebody sick or be sick yourself or things might be unsettled.

And it's second nature for us to think,

How can I feel peaceful with this going on?

How can I feel anything but a sense of dread or darkness to come?

How can I feel calm until things calm down or until there's some hope or until my husband who has the flu gets out of that ratty bathrobe?

You know,

Until something external changes,

What could be inside that could help me?

I remember the Buddha,

I remember hearing the story that the monks were staying in a really scary forest.

And they were complaining to the Buddha about demons and ghosts.

And he gave them the metta practice.

And I remember thinking,

They must have been so disappointed.

You know,

Like,

Oh,

Thanks a lot.

You're giving us a loving kindness practice.

I want a bodyguard,

Like the bodyguard with the flaming hair and the armor,

Someone big and strong to protect me.

But I do think I have come to see it's not just an idle opinion,

That aspiration and intention can be a source of protection.

First we try to rely on ourselves,

Our bodies,

And we might have noticed that they change.

Or we might try to rely on a determined,

Happy mood.

And you might notice that that gives way.

Have you noticed?

I was staying in a hotel on Saturday.

I was officiating at a wedding,

Which is another story for another day.

But I was scared a lot of the time.

It was uncertain and unknown.

And I made the terrible mistake of going into the bathroom and looking at my face in one of those magnifying mirrors.

Have you ever done that?

Those ones that come out of the wall like that.

And I had just read an article about monks that keep skulls around as a reminder that they're aging and heading towards death.

And then I looked in the mirror and I thought,

I don't need a skull.

I never seen the lines around my eyes magnified like this before.

So I shifted towards trusting my intention.

My aspiration.

Which we don't even necessarily need to put in words.

It's an aspiration to be part of something larger than this self.

And this small life.

To be part of a larger life.

And we all know,

I know,

That when we engage in this practice,

Moment by moment,

We begin to cultivate an attention.

An attention that opens to our deeper values.

Our deeper loves.

And again,

These don't have to be things that we make sentences about.

But we remember that we have a basic warm heartedness.

A basic capacity to love being here at moments.

I can't recommend enough just keeping it at moments.

Our attention connects us to what really matters.

And this guardian deity,

You know,

For many years I was aware that I was supposed to destroy my ego.

And I tried.

It does keep coming back.

But I have noticed that another way to think of it that can be very fruitful is that I can begin to remember what I more deeply love.

What more deeply matters to me.

At moments.

And we all have these moments.

So I wanted to tell you a dharmic version of a fairy tale that is included in this time's parabola about hope.

And this isn't a Buddhist tale,

But it could be.

It's a Grimm's fairy tale that some of you might know.

It's called Brother and Sister.

Because you see this motherly care,

This capacity for a fierce and protective love isn't limited to biological mothers.

It's something that's kindled in us for other creatures that we care about.

And in this story,

A brother and sister are running through a dark and scary forest.

Not unlike the times we live in.

They had suddenly a wicked stepmother,

A very unpredictable and narcissistic and self-centered creature.

Can you imagine being under the control of such a being?

And they said to each other,

We've got to get out of here.

Let's run.

So they ran and ran through the forest.

And the interesting thing about the sister is that her resolve was to have a better life.

To be connected with what she really cared about and what was good.

So even though the wicked stepmother was trying to control the whole forest,

Making it storm and rain and be as forbidding as possible,

Her intention and her aspiration led her to see,

Oh,

Look it.

They're crying with us.

That's what this rain is.

She was determined.

So the brother who was slightly younger and more impetuous was forging ahead.

And the stream said to her,

The stepmother enchanted me so that if you drink from it,

You'll be turned into a wild beast.

So she was going,

Stop that fierce protector.

But still the brother forged ahead.

And he drank from the stream.

And he turned into a golden deer.

And she thought,

Whoa,

This is so weird.

This is weird.

But I love him.

And my love doesn't depend on his form.

So she made a little halter for him.

It led him through the forest to a hut.

And she chopped wood and she got him to collect moss with his little deer mouth.

And they made a life for themselves.

Until one day he heard the call of a trumpet announcing a hunt.

And he bolted.

Again,

She couldn't stop him.

You can't always stop the people you love from doing impetuous things.

I don't know if you've noticed,

But there's a way it goes.

So he took off plunging into the forest.

And the king and his men came upon him.

And the king was enchanted by this golden deer and said,

Capture him.

Don't kill him.

So the deer ran back to the little hut.

And the king and his men were in pursuit.

And the sister came out of the cabin and stood in front and said,

Don't kill this deer.

At that moment,

She wasn't thinking about herself.

At that moment,

She was embodying her love for what she cared about.

And the king looked at her and was so touched by that fierce love,

That capacity to embody an intention and an aspiration greater than her regard for herself.

And he fell in love on the spot.

And she looked at him and she didn't just see a king.

She saw kindness in his eyes.

So she said,

Yes.

This is a fairy tale,

Remember?

Yes,

But I'm taking my golden deer with me.

And my golden deer is going to live in our bedroom with us or wherever I want it to be.

And the king said,

Fine.

So a year passed and the time came for her to give birth.

And the stepmother,

Who was somehow surveilling everything that was happening,

Maybe there was a new alarm system on their iPhones,

You know,

Where the stepmother could always be available.

And she found out the birth was about to happen and posed as a midwife.

And uh-huh,

Not good.

So the baby was born and she said to the queen,

Let me make a special restorative bath for you with these,

Yes,

Uh-oh.

And it was poison and the queen died.

And the wicked stepmother dressed in her nightgown and bundled under the covers so when the king came in excited and overjoyed about the birth,

She mumbled into her pillow that she was tired and had to get her rest,

Which he understood.

That night in the nursery,

The nursemaid saw a ghost.

The ghost of the queen came in and said,

Is my baby well?

And is my dear well?

By now the dear was living in the nursery with the baby.

I'll come back twice and then farewell.

And the nursemaid was just shocked and immediately ran to the king who came to the nursery the following night and beheld the ghost of this beautiful queen,

The ghost of her aspiration,

Her intention and her care.

Coming into the nursery and saying,

Is my baby well?

And is my dear well?

I'll come back once more and then farewell.

And the king was so moved and so remorseful that he hadn't noticed that she'd gone.

So moved at the power of her intention,

Her love,

That he couldn't speak.

But he heard her say,

She'd come back one more time.

So he went back the next night and she came into the nursery.

Is my baby well?

Is my dear well?

And he said to her,

You are my beloved queen.

And she looked at him and she stopped fading.

She stopped being a ghost.

Her life came back.

Love made her real.

Love brought her to life.

That's actually from the Velveteen Rabbit,

But I am boring.

This is also the truth.

And she came back to life and they embraced and she told him everything.

And the stepmother was imprisoned,

Arrested,

And banished to the forest where she was torn apart by the beasts of her own envy,

Her own hatred,

Her own selfishness.

And as she disappeared,

The deer turned back into a human form.

And this family lived happily ever after.

But the reason,

First of all,

It's always nice to hear a story.

But second of all,

It's a story that carries an ancient and universal truth that each of you know and will get to feel when we sit.

Which is that even when our external form changes,

Even when life seems dark and uncertain,

Even as our own feelings change,

Even as our own stories change,

There is a deeper current in us.

There is a capacity for an attention that puts us in touch with what we most deeply love,

Our deeper wish to be here,

To be alive,

To be part of it.

And that cannot be easily destroyed.

It's a light to see by.

So let's take our seats.

And we let our feet be firmly on the floor.

We let our back be straight.

Notice how it feels to be here without judging.

Notice how it feels to bring an attention that is kind,

That doesn't judge you,

That welcomes you exactly as you find yourself today.

Realizing thinking,

Sensing,

Letting everything happen to you,

And gently coming home to this body and the sensation of breathing.

Noticing that there is a life inside you and a light of attention that isn't thinking,

It isn't judging,

It's welcoming,

Receptive,

Responsive.

Use these in sight and memory to don't Methoel fromIRT type ways.

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Notice that when you get lost in thinking,

Picturing,

You can gently come home,

Back to the body,

Back to this moment,

Back to the breath,

And find welcome.

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But silence doesn't mean not thinking.

It means being soft.

Being home.

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Noticing that when we come back to the breath and the body,

We also open.

We begin to remember that we're part of a greater life.

We're not separate.

We're not separate.

We're not separate.

We're not separate.

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Reviews

Very timely and relevant. Thank you for sharing Tracy and Dawn. 🙏

_/|\_ Thank you_/|\_ :-)

This meditation was very profound for me. I became present to a fear of loss of love and how much I live in that fear. With that recognition perhaps I will be able to recognize when it manifests and be with it so it doesn’t rule my life.

Thank you, Tracy for your story and holding the space🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Really wonderful