So when your child has anxiety,
When.
It happens in particular moments,
Right?
We can get so caught up in thinking,
Oh,
They've just got it all the time.
You know,
This is a problem.
Right.
And I want to just say that.
When your child is scared,
It could be school,
It could be the dark,
It could be that thing that might happen,
You know?
Maybe it's that,
Like projecting into the future like we do as adults,
Right?
And every part of you as a parent I can speak to.
As a parent as well,
Wants to fix it.
We want to fix it for our kids.
We don't want to see our kids We don't want to see our kids in this place of feeling fearful,
Right?
And so you might well have done what many of us do,
Which is reassure.
Rearrange,
Try and remove that scary thing and and do what you can.
Maybe you're overly,
Um,
Maybe,
Maybe overly protective.
Right.
And again,
It's coming from a good place.
That's not a criticism.
And somehow the anxiety seems to get bigger,
Like the anxiety in them,
And maybe even yourself,
But it gets bigger.
So first off,
I just want to say that this is normal.
As a loving parent,
You care about your kid.
Anxiety is part of the human condition.
We have to have it.
In order for us to function.
And the problem is,
Is,
Is that we can,
We can treat it and talk about it and give messages to our kids as though this is a problem.
What is wrong?
You shouldn't be feeling like this.
I don't want you to feel like this,
Right?
And what happens is,
Is that our child's brains pick up on that and it continues to it sounds an alarm and continues to sound that alarm because we're we're giving that message right.
And it's not that you're doing it wrong,
You're loving parents,
As I was saying,
Right?
But overprotecting teaches the brain,
Teaches our kids brain that this really was dangerous and you wouldn't have been able to have coped if I hadn't have been here.
So,
Anxiety will it will keep its momentum going unless.
.
.
We can start to relate to it differently.
Unless we can start to Actually.
.
.
Show our kids.
What they're feeling is a normal human experience.
Even though.
.
.
It doesn't feel like it's normal at all,
Right?
So what helps most is validating,
Validating and encouraging.
This feeling is really scary and you should be.
Are going to be okay.
You can handle it.
Daddy gets anxious sometimes and he gets over it.
It's a big feeling.
You've got a big feeling right now and you are bigger than this feeling.
And if they say,
No,
I'm not,
You say,
Yeah,
I know,
But we're practicing this because because it helps us to practice this.
I am bigger than my feeling.
So let them take a brave step as well.
Absolute risk to them,
If there's no risk to what they're doing,
Then let them find out a little more let go a little more trust the process if there's no actual risk to what's going on.
Trust the process.
So your job,
Even though you really care,
And I've been there as well,
Like I said,
Your job isn't to erase their fear.
In fact,
To be able for them to be able to experience the full range of human emotions is actually really,
Really healthy.
Right.
So for us,
It's to be that steady base.
We might not feel calm.
But sometimes we might,
But it's just to be that steady base when they face it.
You are okay and you're going to be okay.
This is like a big monster that's in your tummy right now and it will go on its own time.
It will go and then it might come and then it will come back again and it will go and everybody has this.
Everybody has this.
So it's important for us to be able to do that.
You don't have to be a perfect parent as well.
If you can be a steady one from time to time,
That's really going to help.
Anyway,
I hope this little bit of information has been helpful for you.
You deserve it.
And yeah,
Go gently.
On yourself too.
As well as your kids.
And I hope that this has been helpful.
Take care.
