Awakening the Heart with Lovingkindness

A thorough practice for bolstering the high qualities of the heart and diminishing anxiety.

Transcript

So,

Sitting tall,

Sitting upright,

Letting your gaze fall at about 45 degrees down towards the floor,

And then if you want to,

Gently close your eyes.

You're more than welcome to work with your eyes open,

If that is your thing.

It can be quite nice to keep the eyes open,

Let the gaze be soft,

Let it be diffused.

Not looking out at anything,

But just resting the eyes.

And the crown of the head,

The back top of the head,

Is lifting up for the sky.

The chin is tucked closer to the neck a little bit.

The collarbones are wide,

The shoulders are balanced.

You may want to scoot your hands back a little bit.

Heart is open,

Lungs are open,

Belly is soft.

Face is soft,

Jaw is soft.

Eyes are soft.

You can let go of any tension held in the head,

The temples,

The brain.

Soften the shoulders,

The arms,

The hands.

And let your seat feel really rooted.

See if your legs and your feet and your pelvis,

See if they can all just fall through the floor.

And connect with your body.

Have a sense of really being in your body.

Just noticing what it's like to be you right now.

Set an intention for your practice.

If you're mystified by that instruction,

Setting an intention for your practice,

Then just declare to yourself that you're going to do this with earnestness.

Estherness means on purpose,

Like you mean it,

With gusto.

So we'll take three deep breaths together to demarcate our formal entry into practice.

So begin with a thorough exhale,

Squeeze all the stale air out of the belly.

And a nice big thorough inhale in.

And long,

Slow,

Sighing exhale,

Relaxing,

Releasing.

Two more please.

Wonderful.

Just let the lips close,

Let the teeth be parted.

Just breathing in an ordinary way through the nose.

Let the exhales fall out of you.

And do not rush for the inhale.

Let there be space between exhale and inhale.

And let there be space between inhale and exhale.

So just feel the next exhale fall out.

Be there for the transition and then guide the inhale in.

Just working with the breath for a few moments to settle the mind for what's to come.

But if you can really let the exhale go,

And let there be a gentle natural space at the end of it,

You will find that there is a palpable downshift that takes place.

So be there for the transition.

Two more.

So I'll ask you now to think of somebody from your life that you care for.

Think of somebody that it's just you have a relatively uncomplicated relationship.

They've been good to you.

They mean a lot to you.

You don't have to think of the perfect person.

Maybe it's just somebody you admire,

A hero you have.

Once you settle on your person,

And any person will really do,

See their face as clearly as you can.

Notice their eyes,

Their hair.

Maybe note what their name is,

Or see if you can imagine their smell or the sound of their voice.

Or maybe you're not visual at all,

And that is okay,

But you just feel their presence.

But as high definition as possible,

Bring them into the room,

Sitting here with you.

And gaze at them.

Let the genuine feelings of caring that you have for this person arise.

Where would you be without them?

How much laughter have you shared?

And from that place of natural caring,

Can you wish them the following thoughts and connect these thoughts to heart as much as you can?

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

And may you be free.

These are things that you naturally want for this person,

Is it not?

Is that not true?

I wish for you to be happy,

To be healthy,

To be safe and free from any threat or any danger,

And to feel so free.

Nothing standing in your way,

No confusion,

No self-doubt.

May you be free.

Take a breath and just let go of this person.

And then I invite you to come into a sense of practicing for yourself.

Perhaps the easiest way to do this is to imagine like you're looking at yourself in the mirror.

And you see your own face,

Your own eyes,

Your own hair,

Your own body,

Your own clothes.

Really standing eye to eye,

Shoulder to shoulder with yourself.

How does it feel?

What do you notice?

Maybe you want to run,

Maybe it's uncomfortable,

Or maybe you feel good.

Just notice.

May I be happy.

See if you can radiate this thought from your body,

From your heart.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I feel safe.

And may I be free.

Totally free.

Unfettered.

I deserve to be happy.

I deserve to be free.

Take a breath.

Wipe the slate of the mind clean.

And now I'll ask you to call into mind somebody from your life that you don't think about so much.

Your hairdresser,

The last person to serve you a cup of coffee,

A neighbor,

Somebody in your office that you see all the time but don't talk to.

Somebody they're definitely there in your life but meh.

Why would you ever think about them?

If you're having trouble with this,

Just practice for somebody sitting in your immediate vicinity.

Same thing,

As much as you can,

See their face,

Their eyes,

Their hair.

Know who they are.

See as much detail as you can possibly conjure in your mind and bring them here.

They're sitting with you,

Knee to knee,

Shoulder to shoulder,

Eye to eye.

I'll sprinkle in a little contemplation here.

But this person has a birthday,

Has things that keep them up at night,

Has financial worries and job related stress and difficult family relationships and love and joy and fever dreams and things that make them laugh.

Just like you do.

Just like you.

They have a favorite pair of shoes and a least favorite day of the week and heartache and fears just like you do.

Just like you,

They want to be happy and they don't want to suffer.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you be free.

May you be free.

Take a breath and let it go.

Now I ask that you bring into mind somebody who irritates you.

Your least favorite politician or maybe it's your boss or a difficult family member or maybe it's the person you practiced for that you loved but they have just been taking you off lately.

Please don't pick somebody who has really hurt you or is really going to hijack your mind right now.

Just somebody irritating.

See their face.

See the image of them in full detail.

They come to sit with you in this room and as you gaze at them let the feelings come.

Get honest.

And in the face of those feelings can you train your heart?

I wish for you to be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe and free from harm.

And may you be free.

May you be free.

Take a breath and let this person go.

Home stretch.

Open your mind to this room.

Consider the 15 or so other practitioners in this room who are literally breathing the same air as you.

Supporting you in your practice.

This class wouldn't be possible if you all hadn't shown up.

So they're literally supporting your practice right now.

And everybody in this room is a lot more like you than they are unlike you.

They care about waking up,

About evolving their minds,

About suffering less,

About getting happier,

About getting freer.

Just like you.

So can you connect this to heart?

May each of us be happy.

May each of us feel free.

Opening your mind now to all of the beings in this building,

Upstairs in the apartment,

Out in the lobby.

All of the sentient beings on West 8th Street between University and Fifth Avenue.

All of the beings in Manhattan.

This big Long Island filled with people shopping and eating and walking and in their homes and doing different things.

And not only the people but also the non-human persons.

The animals,

The insects of plant life.

All of these beings who feel,

Who feel pain and want to feel good.

May all of these beings be happy.

May each of us feel free.

And then open your mind even further.

Start thinking of the five boroughs of New York.

Nine million people.

Nine million humans.

And countless other life forms.

Life forms.

Countless other life forms.

Think of the entire East Coast and how much life resides here.

And then all of North America.

Include Canada and Mexico.

How much life inhabits this region.

May all of these beings be happy.

May each of us be free.

Then open the scope of your mind even further now.

Get daring.

Get radical.

And include the entire Earth.

Your heart-mind envelops the entire Earth.

All of the continents,

All of the sea space,

All of the air space.

Consider all of the life on this planet.

The global family.

May all beings everywhere be happy.

And may each of us be free.

I invite you to stay here in this vision for just a moment.

Returning to it as many times as you need to.

Of a world without war.

A world without fear.

A world filled with benevolence and wakefulness.

A world where love is the guiding principle of all anyone does,

Thinks,

Or says.

It might seem unrealistic.

But that's okay.

And last thing,

Please invite yourself to smile.

Let there be a half smile on the face.

Even if it feels fake and forced and you don't want to,

Just smile at not wanting to.

And watch what happens to the mind when you do this.

And then one last big deep breath in all the way down to the belly.

And ha.

Please transition gently out of the mode of practice.

Reviews

Thank you Ralph, this is powerful and transformative

P..... May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe and may you be free! 😊❤️

You give a very nice and supported metta practice, with enough variation that it doesn't feel repetitive, and I LOVE that you mention plants. Thank you

great meditation. very clear and warm. Thank you

Wow!
Very powerful yet simple practice. Thank you very much.
Serenity and best wishes to you and have the best day.

Wow, my heart felt tense and anxious. After the practice I feel light and not fearful anymore. My heart ❤️ feels relaxed. Thank you for this practice 🙏

Great! Thank you

Wonderful for how to settle in and then practice metta.

A beautiful practice developing compassion and reminding us that there are bigger things than just ourselves

Beautifully led loving kindness meditation - my favorite so far.

Thanks. This helped to get me to a peaceful place prior to work.

Just what I needed. Thank you!

Nice! Thanks for this!

Wonderful meditation in these times of tensions and fear. Thanks

Excellent. Really real and authentic. Matter of fact- voice. Thank you I will return.
May we all be peaceful, maybe peace everywhere.

Loved it. Grateful

Loved it! Thanks Ralph. Easy to use loving kindness practice.

Truly wonderful Metta practice. Careful, caring, daring instruction!