Overcoming Fear Of Rejection To Be Your Best Self

This was one of the best sessions I've held because it spoke directly to the experience I have lived through. Rejection was one of the biggest fears I had, and the challenge was that it was a subconscious and physiological response that happened automatically. I learned that overcoming these reactions required me to go deeper than the body or mind, I share more in the talk.
If you got something from this session, message me directly, I really mean that. I want to hear from you.

Transcript

So,

I'm going to dive into the session in a moment.

And at some point I will tell you why I'm wearing a shirt,

So you might have to wait for that one.

I'll see when it comes up.

If I don't tell you,

Remind me.

But I want to give you a quick intro.

If you've already joined from the beginning,

I started a bit of that.

But the intro to me is,

Rejection was really the thing that was driving who I was in life.

You know,

Worried about what people will say,

Worried about being myself.

I didn't even know what being myself was actually.

I spent most of my life just looking at others and trying to be like them,

Trying to fit in,

Feeling awkward,

Feeling like I wasn't,

I was just different from everyone.

You know,

And I didn't realize a lot of that was this fear of rejection,

Of being unloved,

Of being not accepted.

I didn't really know that at the time.

I just felt the outer level experience of that,

Which some of you might experience as anxiety.

You might experience this as being a perfectionist.

You might experience this as you find it hard to connect to people.

You might experience this in different ways,

Right?

So if you've joined and you saw the title of this session,

Overcoming fear of rejection to be your best self,

Then I want to ask you in the chat,

If you're willing to play with me,

If you're willing to make this a bit interactive,

Tell me what it is about the fear of rejection that limits your life and how does it show up for you?

Tell me more because I really want to know who's here and your experience of this.

What do you think about that?

You know,

There's no pressure to type something in the chat,

But it's more fun sometimes when there's engagement,

When there's interactivity.

Because I'd like to say when I'm involved,

You know,

In that interactive way,

I can work with you intuitively in this session.

So what do you think about that if you do decide to type something about your fear of rejection or your challenges with it?

How did this show up for me in different ways?

Things like relationships,

I went into relationships with this whole mentality of I'm going into it with a disconnect almost because I was scared that if I get close to someone,

Then they can abandon me.

They can abandon me if I get close to them.

I can get hurt,

You know,

The little boy inside of me was hurt.

So I spent my life like that.

Avoid hurt,

Avoid getting too close to people because they can hurt you if they're too close.

You know,

Don't even relate to that one.

And then other things like I had ideas of what I wanted to do.

For example,

What I'm doing here right now.

I wanted to speak and talk about things I was passionate about.

There was no way I would have done this in the past.

There was no way I would have even put myself out there into the public because there was just this idea that,

Yeah,

I'm not that kind of person.

I'm more of a person who keeps myself to himself.

You know,

I almost wore that as a badge,

As a reason,

A justification.

Oh,

I keep myself to myself.

I'm that type of person.

Yeah,

I'm not really that person who gets out there.

I wore it as a badge and the ego,

You know,

As we know the ego,

The ego was protecting it by making it seem like it's a great thing to,

Oh,

I keep myself to myself.

Funny how the ego works,

Right?

Yeah,

Really there was this person who was scared.

So there's no way I would have done this.

Anyone relate to that?

Is there something you want to do?

You want to put out there in life?

You want to talk or you want a new career,

But the career requires you to be a certain way so you avoid it.

Or a relationship,

But then you're worried that this might happen.

If I get too close.

If I don't get close enough,

I don't know.

In other ways this showed up for me and thanks to everyone who's sharing,

Keep sharing if you wish guys,

It's just,

It's great to hear and I'll read that out in a second.

Other ways it showed up was I wasn't sure of myself,

I was doubting myself.

It's like if I wanted to make any,

Any small decision,

I would be in this,

This,

This paralysis,

This what do you call it?

Analysis paralysis,

Paralysis.

That's the one.

Analysis paralysis.

Wow.

That's a tricky one to say.

Try and say that three times in a row.

So I'll just be thinking about stuff and just not going for things because if I went for things,

There might be this failure that might occur.

And if I go for failure,

Oh my God,

That's the bad.

That's the worst thing.

You know,

That's,

That's how I was living.

And then things started changing for me when I really started slowing myself down.

So we're going to do some of that in the session today.

I'm not just going to be talking.

No,

I do a lot of talking,

But what I really want from this session is to take you through some practices to hear from you in the chat,

To talk to you in the chat as well.

Cause I'm a coach rather than a motivational speaker.

You know,

Um,

I can speak and you guys can just watch,

But I much prefer going deeper and really helping you transform things.

Right.

It's not really about information is more about transformation for me.

How can I help you to,

To change the way you see this,

Right?

This whole rejection thing.

So yeah,

People are sharing the chat.

You're,

I'm going to read some of those things out now before I continue.

So people are saying,

I'm afraid to go after romantic opportunities because of fear or rejection.

Hmm.

Yeah.

I get you.

Someone said being disappointed and hurt.

Hmm.

Yeah.

You know,

Perfectionism,

Everything I do,

It causes procrastination and my defense mechanism is avoidance.

Yes.

I'm going to talk to you about that.

And that's related to the shirt.

There's a clue.

There's a clue right there.

I gave you a clue.

I'm not going to tell you yet though.

You're going to have to wait.

Um,

Definitely shows up.

Perfectionism fear of getting hurt for sure.

Hmm.

Fear of failure,

Anxiety grips,

Hold of the amygdala and it's hijacked.

Yes.

That's it.

I dress for work because I feel that I honor it and I feel better.

Ah,

Not for,

Yeah.

Okay.

That,

That kind of relates to the shirt as well.

Yeah.

So I'll tell you about that soon.

Um,

Yeah.

Generally this whole thing of fear of rejection,

It limits us in taking actions and being who we really are.

You know,

That's why I wrote the title overcoming fear of rejection to be your best self because the only thing that's in the way of your best self,

Imagine it was like,

There's this hand and the hand is the wall and there's just this wall which is made of thinking.

There's nothing else in the way apart from our thinking around what we think is true.

And that's really the journey I went on challenging my thinking.

I was so convinced.

I was so convinced and attached to it.

And then,

You know,

Going deeper into the psychological stuff.

This is why sometimes I,

I love psychology and I love the mindset stuff,

But I,

I also can see that it can create this attachment to thinking even more.

For example,

Oh,

Like Raj,

You're having some,

Some of these symptoms.

Um,

You're freezing your fight or flight mode.

That was me tick.

Raj,

You're worried about certain situations,

So you hide and avoid them.

Okay.

Tick.

Um,

Raj,

You are an anxious person.

Oh,

Is it?

That's what I am.

Okay,

Here I go.

I got it.

I got a badge of honor now.

I'm going to call myself an anxious person.

I'm going to say I have anxiety disorder,

So I can't do this.

Ah,

Great.

Now I,

Now it's okay.

Hey,

Raj.

Would you like to speak in front of people?

No,

I can't.

I have anxiety disorder.

Hey,

Raj,

Would you like to start a business?

No,

I can't.

I have anxiety disorder.

Really that's how I was living.

That's how I was living.

I was so attached,

So attached to,

To,

I was convinced that there was something stopping me.

And I'm really slowing down now to see if that lands for you.

The thinking can sometimes be used to dig us deeper into the whole of thinking.

And that is generally where this stickiness of fears come from.

Because we're sticking to it.

And then you might go to a psychotherapist and they might,

They might help you confirm this.

You know,

It depends.

There's really great therapists out there and I'm,

I'm still a proponent for working on ourselves,

Right?

What I'm really trying to make you aware of is if we get attached to thinking that we are a certain way,

Then we stay that way.

It becomes real.

You know,

Like there's this great example.

I think this was in Vedic literature.

Where they talk about,

You know,

You,

You,

You see a snake in the road,

So you jump.

And you keep seeing that snake,

So you keep jumping.

And then you realize one day it's a rope.

It's not a snake.

It's a rope.

It's the thinking that's created it.

So everything,

Everything you see remotely close to looking like a snake,

You might think is a snake now.

That's how the mind works.

So what I'm going to invite you towards in this session is seeing if you can create some space between yourself and your thinking.

Your thinking is the fear of rejection.

It's very similar to the thinking that occurs before.

Let's say you want to do a bungee jump.

I've never done one actually.

I would be terrified.

I would be absolutely petrified.

You know,

I,

Even if I'm a calm person and a yogi,

I would be absolutely petrified.

You know,

I've seen people walk up to it like,

Yeah,

Or brave and whatever,

But no way.

That's my thinking of what might happen.

That's my thinking.

My body's involved as well.

So now my body and my mind are just going crazy.

But then I jump and it was a lot of fun.

Ah,

It was okay.

I use this phrase a lot where we say,

Ah,

It wasn't as bad as I thought.

It wasn't as bad as I thought.

It wasn't as bad as I thought.

Because in the realm of thinking,

We've already considered the worst case scenario.

So anything in reality is going to be actually better no matter what.

We've already gone through the nightmare.

So when it comes to rejection,

Are you willing to say that maybe this isn't true?

Are you willing to loosen the grip on believing that something bad is going to happen?

Believing that you are going to get hurt?

Are you willing to play?

People wrote in the chat,

Relationships.

You want to go into relationships.

Sometimes people tell me that they want to start a new job or career or business.

Someone might want to do something else,

Right?

Whatever it is.

Are you willing to let go of what you think you know?

And loosen the hold.

It's almost like we're holding hands with,

Let's say the other hand was called fear or rejection.

I'm holding on to you.

I'm holding on to you.

It's the holding on that keeps it there.

So I'm going to slow down again.

And invite you right now to go into a meditation.

Close your eyes or keep them open.

Whatever.

Whatever you wish.

See if you can sense what I just said.

And sense how it relates to you inside your body.

Using the grip just a little.

And become aware of your breath.

With each out breath,

Feel as if that grip is just loosening.

The grip around you.

And the grip of fear.

Of thinking.

Of worry that something might happen.

With each out breath,

Relax the grip.

Loosen up.

If you're finding this slightly difficult.

Where your thinking,

Your feelings are strong.

It's okay.

It's just a practice.

With each out breath,

Letting go.

Loosing your grip.

Using yourself to be in love with the unknown.

And imagine a time in your life where you were just present.

And just allowing life to flow.

Working with each moment as it comes.

Start to open your eyes if they were closed.

And come back to where we are together.

Let me know if anything came up for you in the chat.

And by the way,

I'm not saying it's easy to let go.

But it can be.

It can be easier than you think.

Than you think.

It's the thinking that creates the challenge.

Great to hear how that went for you.

Lengthening the out breath.

Yeah,

Sometimes if you lengthen the out breath,

Exactly what you said,

It will relax you.

It's a releasing of tension sometimes.

If you're able to really slow it down.

And that's the thing guys,

Like most of the time this fear of rejection is because we have entered into a state of survival,

We're worried that something is going to go wrong.

We're in the defensive.

That's why I talk about slowing down a lot.

Because if you can really be here,

Just to slow the body down a little bit.

You can really slow the body down a little bit and you are able to have some space between your thoughts.

Makes such a big difference,

Right?

Now I've been in panic states.

I've not made the best decisions when I've been in panic states.

There's been a whole drama that occurs.

So that's the one part of overcoming fear of rejection.

Slowing yourself down and creating space between yourself and your thoughts.

Because then you can see with clarity,

It's almost as if you are wearing these goggles that have a tint on them.

It's like if we take the goggles off we can see better.

And that's what slowing down,

Becoming present,

Having this practice and whatever that is for you,

Right?

Like for me,

I'm quite body focused when it comes to if I've got a lot of tension,

If I get into my body,

Move it a little bit.

If I move my body,

If I use my breath,

So good for me.

There is classical meditation where you just sit.

But for me,

That's more of a final stage.

I need to get into my body.

I need to move it.

If I move it a bit,

I relax the body basically.

So whatever you've got to do to get yourself into space.

I'm not saying,

Hey,

Go run forever.

That is another level of problem that could be created,

Right?

If you're just continuously in your body,

Too much.

Just use it for the purpose of shaking things out,

Becoming loose.

And great,

You can become more present.

The head,

The head stress can reduce.

So let me know,

Is that useful so far?

What have you got from this session so far,

Guys?

I want to pause and ask you that question.

If you've been here for 30 minutes,

What have you got from this so far?

Love to hear from at least a few of you in the chat.

What have you got from this about overcoming fear of rejection?

There we go.

Okay,

Someone said,

A lot of my fears are irrational and imagined.

Nothing from the past indicates any of that would actually happen.

Yeah,

It's a fact,

Right?

We know it,

We know this is true logically,

But we have to bring that into our experience,

Right?

We have to make that a lived experience because logically we know everything.

It's all in the books,

You can google things these days,

But if we bring that into a real truth and experience,

Then we become free.

So yeah,

It's all imagined and it's challenging because it feels very real.

We're convinced,

We become almost possessed.

We're so convinced and again,

Like I'm telling you,

This is my experience as well.

How did you change your thinking?

Someone put in the chat.

So first,

Like I said,

Slowing myself right down,

Slowing myself so much that I can hear,

I can really hear,

I can hear and I can sense what is the truth versus what do I think.

And the truth,

I can sense it inside and I'm putting my hand right here towards my heart because I think that's where the soul lives or part of the soul maybe.

I can sense what is true,

What is really true versus what is my thinking saying.

And also now I really know that the thinking is a computer based on my past.

So it's like how can that know,

How can past information know about future?

And it's funny because I'll tell you a bit of my background.

And I actually used to wear shirts a lot because I was in a highly corporate job.

I was working with data,

A lot of data and using data to help the business become successful.

Basically,

So how can we use data to drive a business forward?

Information analysis insights.

So a lot of what people were asking me is so funny.

They would say,

Yeah,

Based on the past data,

Based on things that have happened,

Can we predict the future Raj?

And I always say to them,

Yeah,

We can do some predictive analysis based on our data we've collected and depends on what the data is like,

You know,

If the data is useful or not.

Sometimes we'd get really garbage data and the garbage data doesn't help anything.

And even still,

It doesn't matter how much data I had.

There would always be this knowing that it cannot 100% predict the future.

It's just,

It's just trying to,

It's trying to predict the future.

It's trying to,

That's all.

And then someone in the business would make some random decisions and the whole data doesn't matter anymore,

Right?

Because we're talking what happens in the real world versus what does the data say?

Because that's what I'm trying to point you towards.

What is real versus what the data says?

You know,

For example,

If you shop on Amazon anytime,

You might've looked at some socks,

Some red socks.

So now Amazon have sent you an email saying,

Hey,

I noticed you've been looking at socks.

Here's five different types of socks you can buy.

They've used the data of you browsing to give you something to help predict that you want socks.

No,

I don't want any socks.

Stop bothering me and sending me emails.

I don't want any socks.

It's the same with the mind is bothering us based on things we've done.

You don't want any socks,

But it's telling you,

Hey,

Have some socks.

You know what I mean?

It's a fun example there to kind of tell you what I'm talking about.

That's,

That's how I changed my thinking,

Really seeing what is the truth.

But at the same time,

Like I mentioned before,

Slowing myself down enough,

Slowing my body down.

Cause if the body's intention,

If the body is really inflamed and thinks there's danger,

Our bodies are wired to fight or flight.

Because if,

If,

If,

If the body's convinced that this is danger,

It's gonna go into that zone.

So slowing down,

Really being here,

Commanding the body to say,

Hey,

You can relax.

That's the first thing I want to tell you guys today.

Someone just said,

When I slow down,

I gained clarity and perspective.

Yeah,

There you go.

It's very different,

Right?

It's like you go from this to that in an instant,

You're seeing things from a,

From a mountain top rather than from the ground level where it looks like,

Oh,

There's some problems on the ground here.

No,

You look at the mountain top and you see the whole picture now.

So slowing down key thing here.

That's the first part guys.

I'm very much a proponent of yin and yang polarities.

That's that's what I believe in oneness being able to shift between things.

So I've given you some of the yin,

Let's say some of the yin of this.

Now let me give you some yang.

Let me give you some yang.

Let me light some fire in this session.

We can do that.

We can slow down.

We can be,

We can be present,

But the yang is also,

Hey,

Let's go live.

Come on,

Let's go and live.

You want a relationship?

Well,

You have to go and experience that sometimes because you will never find out until you're in it.

If you leave life as this passive game of like,

Hey,

I'm going to stay back.

And if you know something,

This person might hurt me.

Okay.

You,

You can stay in that forever.

And you're not going to know if you're going to get hurt unless you're willing to risk getting hurt.

And the funny thing is you might not get hurt.

You might find the love of your life.

You might have an amazing time together.

Now is it worth that risk of pain?

For me,

It would be I'm willing to get hurt knowing that,

Oh,

Instead of getting hurt,

I could have everything.

You want to start a business,

Write a book,

Or do anything else.

Like let's,

Let's use that for an example.

You want to start a business or a new career.

Yeah.

You might get rejected.

It might hurt.

You know,

There's been times where I've done webinars and no one showed up.

Not one person.

When I first started,

I was really nervous of getting myself out there and no one showed up.

And that beat me down quite a lot.

I didn't want to do it again after,

But I just persisted because I knew this is,

There's something here that needs to be expressed.

I'm willing to go through that pain.

Even this,

Like I started with zero tracks on my page,

Zero content,

Zero It feels like that's a really hard place to start from.

Well,

How can I get anywhere?

I'm willing to go through that pain.

Even this,

Like I started with zero tracks on my page,

Zero content.

It feels like that's a really hard place to start from.

Well,

How can I get anywhere?

I only get anywhere by going and starting.

So that's,

That's more of my yang for you today.

You're worried about fear of rejection.

Okay,

I want you to embrace that.

If you're a little scared,

Good,

Good.

It's great to be a bit scared of something that you want and something that you want to move towards.

It's great because that means that this means something to you.

If it was like,

Hey,

Go and do something very comfortable and easy,

I know about you,

But it's not telling me much.

I don't feel alive.

So that's the yang.

The yin was,

Hey,

Slow down,

Be,

Really,

Really go inside,

Connect to some space and some peace.

Slow down your thinking,

Slow down body,

Be.

And the yang is,

Hey,

Come on,

Come on,

Go and go and do whatever you want.

What are you scared of?

You want to,

You're scared of speaking in front of people.

Yeah,

It's probably going to be hard.

It will be.

But what if you do it a few times?

It might get easier.

I like to ask people this question sometimes.

I say to them,

What are the possibilities ahead of you if you're willing to be a little scared?

Ask yourself that.

Let me ask you that.

Someone answered me in the chat right now.

I want to hear from someone.

What are the possibilities ahead of you if you're willing to be a little scared?

Who wants to play with me?

It could be a success.

Yes.

What could be a success?

Tell me more.

Let's get specific.

And if you write that down to yourself,

If you define what that it is,

And you say it could be a success.

Just feel the energy that moves through you when you say that to yourself.

When you say it could be a success.

Wow,

It could be a success.

Oh my God.

How exciting is that?

You know,

There's this whole thing in the personal development world where there's this like separation between working on our inner self and then there's this thing of like go and do stuff and get success and you know all those hyped up personal development gurus.

I see it as one.

I see it all coming from a calm place and then willing to be shaken up a little bit.

You know on boxes when you receive something in the post it says fragile sometimes right?

Us as humans are the opposite of fragile.

We don't get broken easily.

And actually sometimes the more we do get a little hurt or bruised the stronger we become.

You know all the things I've been through,

All the challenges.

If I really look at them from a lens of learning,

What did I get from this?

What did I learn from this?

How did this improve me?

Rather than my mind being programmed to say that was a failure,

That was bad,

I don't want to do that again.

That's the shift of thinking.

All the things in the past,

I only really look at the past as a learning experience.

What did I get from this?

What did I learn from this?

How was this useful?

Even if it was really painful.

You know you can call that positive psychology if you want.

So someone said I love this so much.

Tell me more about that.

Tell me more about what you're getting from this.

Because yeah you know these things about rejection,

Like I've been saying in this session,

A lot of it is that inner work.

That letting go of the idea of it.

Letting go of that attachment to it.

But then sometimes when you actually go and do things that you're scared of,

It automatically shifts the way you're thinking about stuff.

Because now you have an experience of it.

You have an experience that was different.

And maybe it wasn't comfortable.

I'm always coming back to that question.

What did I learn from this?

You're scared of going into a relationship.

And let's say you go into a relationship again and it's terrible.

It's a terrible relationship.

Maybe it's exactly like your past relationships.

So it's really easy for you to say ah like yeah happened again.

Nevertheless you were in life rather than in your head.

So someone put in the chat,

Fear is a sign that it's important to you and worth the risk.

So fear is in your head badge.

And that is it.

That is what I call fear.

Right now I'm going to look,

I'll let a light on this.

Let me do a dot in here.

And worth the risk yeah it can be for sure not always but it can be right look look at it really look at it and the balance perspective of slowing down and taking action yeah because when you can slow down you can look at that fear now differently because you've taken a step back you can look at it in a detached way and say ah i'm noticing i'm feeling some fear why why am i feeling fear you might get a journal some people really find it valuable to journal right down huh i'm feeling a fear about this thing i feel i'm really getting that thing that program of fear of rejection it's coming up again okay raj fear of rejection hmm i'm i'm slowed down enough to observe myself and then i can decide what to do maybe there's an intuition in me saying yeah i don't want to do this thing next yeah i just don't great i'm not gonna do that or maybe there's this thing saying hmm i really do want this kind of thing that i'm talking about but is it worth this fear coming up am i willing to go through that to to risk for an opportunity that could be amazing that's the question so that's all i've got for you today guys and now i really want to just be with you in the chat i'm sensing i have this sensing ability sometimes even though i can't see you i'm just sensing that something is is moving within a few people so i'm gonna stop talking at this point well i'm gonna stop rambling let's call it and i'm gonna talk to what is in the chat let me know what you've got from today i keep asking that right it's not from a place of pressure or hey i'm desperate to know is more of a you me asking you that allows you to ask yourself that and you to go sink in a bit deeper what's happening for you right now what are you experiencing again slowing down accessing your higher wisdom your higher intelligence huh my name is raj but what am i experiencing you know beyond the identity beyond the the idea of who i think i am what what's coming through for me and you might put your hand on your heart so i just do that automatically sometimes these days i don't even know what i'm doing it it's almost like it just happens so hopefully this was useful for you with this whole rejection thing with this whole mind thing that happens like i said it's a game of yin and yang sometimes with everything in life hey just slow down be observe yourself and then sometimes let's go and do stuff let's go and learn through experiences rather than in our heads you know you want to write a book go and start writing a few pages come on like if you're stuck in your head about how is this going to turn out i'm not a good writer you're it doesn't make sense you haven't even made an attempt at the book well maybe you have and that's great so what did you learn from that what did you learn from your attempt i say that because i tend to get writers coming to these sessions so if you're if you're a writer let me know in the chat if you want to write a book let me know in the chat okay i'm going to go into the chat now and see what you guys have put um someone said and and while i'm speaking these out check in with yourself see what comes up for you as you read other people's things as you slow down as you check in on the yin and yang of these that i mentioned put something in the chat whatever comes up for you just to declare it declare it as ah this is what i got from today so someone said i was anxious about going for the first time to a dance event on my own i was welcome and enjoyed the experience with like-minded people love that i love that it was the same for me when i first went traveling on my own i was freaking out i was like who the hell goes traveling on their own i didn't know anyone that did it no one would like it was just a very strange thing for me at the time i was very anxious like this is weird uh questioning myself why don't i have anyone that will come with me all of this weird stuff came up and then when i did it the first time it was amazing i was in the middle of thailand having the time of my life and then the second time i did it i freaked out again and then it was amazing again a few more times i freaked out but it was amazing again and it's become easier over time so great that you met your like-minded people you know you never know what's around the corner because our thinking can only predict to a certain level it cannot predict the spontaneous it cannot predict you know it just can't there's no way of knowing there's no way of knowing what's actually gonna happen ever thinking is the is is a delusion most of the time if you take nothing else away from this session just take that part away don't know what's around the corner and it's a fact you know it's not a cool thing to say a little meme or a quote oh let me just think of this quote no this is a truth this is truth this is absolute truth if it asks you to bet on your thinking i use this example sometimes it's like betting on a faulty horse betting on a horse that's asleep and running in circles and directions horse is never going to win that race why am i betting on this horse why am i so convinced that this horse of my thinking is is going to win this race and it's it's right no it's betting on a blind horse so what else is in the chat what would you advise if you're so overwhelmed that you don't know what emotion you're up against hmm if you're so overwhelmed that you don't know what emotion you're up against ha okay i get think i think i get what you mean i've had experiences like this and and even now i still have these experiences you know i'm not like a complete human or i'm not stopped i have breakdowns all the time and i don't know why they're happening until i slow down and let it happen i let it move through me so if you're feeling so overwhelmed the thing i would say to do and it depends on your situation right don't take this as like raj said this and it applies to everything but if it was what i'm thinking about then i'd say just let it move through you it's a natural process you know like when when tears come out of our eyes it's a beautiful thing it's it's so beautiful it's cleansing it's cleansing if if it's the pure version of it you know if you're just letting it happen if you start freaking out and making up more stories and then you cry even more then that that's like an that's that's that's added thinking it doesn't have to be there you know you don't need to analyze it you don't need to stop it you don't need to control it i'd say just if you're overwhelmed let it move through you and then when you've calmed down maybe get a journal and write about it when you've calmed down what was that what did i learn from that what was that about i have a journal i write in if i have very deep experiences and i only ever write in it after i've had one of those experiences like i don't just write in it for fun it's a it's a sacred place for me no one's ever gonna see this it's just for me so i'd advise you to do that if you're having these things going on then write write about it after and then maybe you'll understand you'll get some wisdom or insight from it let me know if that helped okay what else slowing down is definitely a good call for me yeah i think it is for everyone we all need this it's necessary because if we if we get stuck in this like tension or like just this this this fight or flight or whatever we want to call it then it's not it's not the it's not our innate nature it's just something that's that's that's that's happening in the moment innately we are we're actually more actually more in a state of calm than we are in panic i think anyway well that's that's how we're meant to be okay insight fear is not always about real things but past experiences yeah that's it like the the thoughts from all the past all the things that happened when we were three years old ten years old it's all influencing what's happening now and it doesn't have to be if you are able to place some separation between yourself and those thoughts and that's why slowing down is really important yes solo travel might feel strange but rewards are significant exactly it's this i i can tell you tons of stories about and if anyone's interested i've got a youtube video where i talk about i think it's the 10 things i learned from solo traveling so if anyone wants to check that out go to my website withraj.

Com and there's a page called watch and there's just all these videos i talk about all these lessons i've learned from life um so if you want check that out withraj.

Com and if you're there and you want to just send me a message and tell me something you're challenged by if you're challenged by this fear of rejection and you want to move forward then just write to me there's a contact page right there just send me a message even if it feels uncomfortable and you might have funnily enough you might have a fear of rejection coming up right there i don't know or you might have a fear of like what can i say to raj ah what if he judges me no i i see every every message i get is received with love so i have a lot of love to give so if you if you want if you want you can write to me and i'll help direct you towards where you want to go and sometimes i'll have a conversation with someone we'll actually actually send them a voicemail or get on the phone someone might actually end up working with me you know but that's not my intention my intention is if you want some support i can send you stuff i can just help point to you in the right direction so withraj.

Com that's there for you if you want and um and if you go to the website oh i have to remind you of this if you go to the website i've just put this pop-up that will come up like as soon as you go to it this pop-up will come up and it will allow you to read this six page guide that i wrote called five ways to challenge overthinking and i wrote this about myself and about what i've learned working with people it's it's just this very short and sweet guide where i talk about how the body gets involved foods and i talk about slowing down there's a bunch of things in there basically so go to my website a pop-up will come up you put your email address in and you'll be and you'll also be signed up to my newsletter which i send i send bits of my writing bits that i've learned and i will just come through to you as well so that's that there's more ways to contact me and get involved in what i'm talking about and okay yeah beautiful gesture of touching the heart yeah definitely okay i think we're complete guys i think we're complete so and in this moment you know we can call this an informal meditation i will do right now someone said what's the website okay with raj dot com just my name uh no with and then my name dot com so a little informal meditation to end keep your eyes open if you want you can touch your heart so listen to the breath moving through you and listen to my words as if they were coming directly from the source deep inside you just know that you are a living expression of love you're a living expression of love and all the energy moving through you is expression of your aliveness fear joy whatever it is is all your aliveness with each breath feel your aliveness feel your love and with that knowing you can be in peace right now and you can do scary things because you're made of life and you're made of everything that had to ever to grow and evolve so take a deep breath out okay guys we're done so go and reflect on what you got from today it's my invitation i'm not going to chase you up i'm not going to talk to you about this this is for you reflect on what you got if you really want to overcome these things this has to be a discipline this has to be serious serious but playful so go and reflect go and do what you got to do because the next level of you is just around the corner that piece for you that one that can do scared just around the corner it's on you to make it happen that's probably what i would have told younger version of me that's probably what i would have told younger version of me thank god thank god he started doing it see you later guys like i said write to me i want to connect with some more interesting people and check out the stuff on my website there's a bunch of stuff you'll probably yeah you'll you'll be full of stuff to look at on the site and if you're interested there is a session tomorrow if you are kind of person who wants to turn your passions into a business or income if you want to help people but be authentic rather than any of this cheese stuff i see out there you want to be authentic and you want to help people and you want to turn that into a career then come to tomorrow's session i'll be telling you how i've done that and just sharing more of my journey and showing you how you can do it too basically so speak to some of you tomorrow and speak to some of you wherever else and actually oh the shirt no one asked me no one asked me about the shirt so you'll see if you follow my instagram page rajagulsir you'll see me talking about this shirt and why i'm wearing it um but just to give you a quick reason you know there's yeah there's a there's way more on my stories on instagram so check that out since we're out of time but a quick reason is um i'm wearing the outfit i'm embodying i'm embodying this this this this version of me that can do anything i'm waking up at six i'm taking actions i'm making a course there's going to be a course on insight timer soon so that's coming soon guys you're going to see an exciting course from me that's going to blow your mind i'm sure so i'm waking up i'm recording things i'm going to the gym i'm working out i'm doing cardio i'm reading books i'm i'm on fire right now i'm unstoppable right now because i'm putting on this shirt and embodying that power inside of me all this procrastination i've got caught up in it a few times but now this the the energies have shifted and i'm really just stepping into that this this this unlimited power that's why i'm putting on the shirt i don't like to wear a shirt you know but i know i'm gonna wear it until i'm gonna work when i'm wearing this shirt nothing else i'm not wearing this shirt and and scrolling through and wasting time no that's not what this shirt is for that's that's tainting the shirt that's disrespecting myself the shirt represents me really my greatest potential so that's a tip for you if you want to embody something maybe you can wear an outfit for it i don't know i'm playing a game i'm playing this game with myself and it's working so far so that's what i got for you if you want to read more about this i'm going to be talking about this on my story on instagram i'm going to be um just showing you different shirts that i wear each day i haven't wore shirts for a while i'm gonna wear different shirts and you're going to see more about it you're going to see what what i'm doing in the day how i'm being this next level so check me out um on instagram you'll see all of that stuff or facebook i think you'll see it as well so yes superman clark kent exactly clark kent and actually the funny story i know we were about to end but um when someone works with me i have this um i have this program called the superhero outfit so this program if someone takes this superhero outfit program with me i'll help them create this superhero within themselves where they are able to step into that power that is unlimited sometimes i'll actually send i'll send one of my clients the an outfit i'll send them the actual iron man outfit or something or wonder woman outfit i sent to my client the other day i'll say wear it anytime you're doubting yourself put this on and every time i meet you in a session we're gonna create that we're gonna turn you into the superhero and you're gonna wear the outfit in the world and that really represents the potential that's inside you because sometimes we know that there's a superhero in us but we're not wearing the outfit in the world we're not showing the world who we really are we're not showing ourselves who we really are that's what the superhero outfit represents so yes i'm clark kent i'm every every superhero maybe but i do like superman quite a lot anyway that's that guys let me know if that hit you with something and yeah you can be a superhero too it's i i think this is everyone this is not some special thing that only some people can do any person can be a superhero so leaving you with that beautiful note and i'm feeling good energy as i tell you that as well so loving you and speak to you soon and that's all guys

Reviews

So glad I listened. I have so many things, emotions I struggle with. It's like living in a swamp. Thank you again for being you.